Nov 17 2009I'm Taking 'Em With Me!: The Gerbil Shirt (Exclusively For Pudgy Red-Headed Kids)
Gosh, it seems like only yesterday I was hard at working fashioning a bong out of my gerbil's old Habitrail. But it wasn't, it was this morning I'm doing it right now. Anybody have a hot glue gun?
The Gerbil Shirt wraps your torso in plastic tube passageways, making your bod a super highway of fun for Binky and Bart. The interior surfaces are textured for traction and have air vents for easy breathing.
The inventor suggests you can clean the Gerbil Shirt by attaching it to a faucet (remove pets first please), and you should avoid collisions and falls that could cause pet panic.
Listen, I'm not one to judge, except I totally am BECAUSE I'M SO GOOD AT IT. Wapner? Pfft, that old pantstain couldn't gavel his way out of a wet paper bag. Judy? Wrinkled whore. But a Habitrail vest? That's just a solid product.
Gerbil Shirt [ohgizmo]
Thanks to david, who better not catch you trying to run one of those tubes up your butt.
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Reader Comments
1. Chuey The Rock N Roll Midget - November 17, 2009 2:46 PM
And gay guys go wild!
2. Bigdaddy1970 - November 17, 2009 2:46 PM
This is so Retarted who would buy this crap!!!!!!!!!!!
3. GoSS Jerk, formerly sterilized - November 17, 2009 2:48 PM
His name was GFS
4. naas - November 17, 2009 2:53 PM
ahahahahahaa guaranteed ass kickin zomg
@2 almost as retarded as misspelling retarded
@3 salut!
5. 24-bit whore - November 17, 2009 2:58 PM
His name was GFS
6. Closet Nerd - November 17, 2009 3:03 PM
Its like Tuba-ruba with Gerbils!!!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6yJADkMcy8&feature=player_embedded
7. naas - November 17, 2009 3:03 PM
I can't determine if that's a boy or a girl in the diagram http://whatdoyoucare.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/pat.jpg
8. madgame - November 17, 2009 3:04 PM
Bong is kind of a funny word when you think about it.
9. I-Kill-Bambi's - November 17, 2009 3:07 PM
Eventualy one of the tubes are gonna lead straight into the ass. Plus if i were that gerbil i would die of shock from the fatty always moving around.
10. Pat - November 17, 2009 3:11 PM
That kid is showing some major cameltoe.
11. naas - November 17, 2009 3:13 PM
....and that he crapped himself
12. 24-bit whore - November 17, 2009 3:16 PM
Judging by that smile in figure 1, you can only guess where the 3rd gerbil is hiding.
13. MikeZ - November 17, 2009 3:17 PM
^^
Remember "Micro Gerbil"?
14. Freddy K - November 17, 2009 3:19 PM
do you really think this fatty can "exercise" enough to get these gerbils sick? Chances are no. not gonna happen. I'd be more afraid he wouldcrush the tubing as he reclines on the couch watching the tube. Poor bastards. They don't deserve to go out that way.
gerbil twat
15. ~☻,_∫∫ ∕∕-][ Ỵ ([¦¦ ([]) ][-¦¦ ☻~ - November 17, 2009 3:19 PM
lol i had a rat i carried in my pocket in highschool he peed in my jacket all the time
16. Closet Nerd - November 17, 2009 3:21 PM
@15 Thats nasty
17. Large Hadron LUL Collider - November 17, 2009 3:25 PM
@15...Lul...
all i can say about this is....why the hell do people get patents for shit like this.. and who the fuck is this kid modeled after..anyone who is fat, pale skinned, and red headed all at the same time while Camel....NO MOOSE toed is just a sad skin sack of shitless soul..he would probably figure out how to rig the machine so that it can feed him snacks and recycle his shit at the same time...
Fat people are crafty....I once saw a fat guy use a hanger and some duct tape to pick up a remote control that was just a few steps way....
....crafty chubbies abound!
18. Timbo - November 17, 2009 3:31 PM
If I saw someone wearing this I would punch them in the heart...
19. Zing! - November 17, 2009 3:34 PM
I like how it says totallyabsurd.com on the top of the picture. It's a shame we need a website like that in our world.
20. chimp - November 17, 2009 3:34 PM
that boy clearly has a vagina.
21. Flashpoint - November 17, 2009 3:37 PM
"Brought to you by the guys who started the platform shoes with goldfish inside trend!"
22. Ollie Williams - November 17, 2009 3:39 PM
naas, bring me the cardboard tube and a lighter, stat.
23. Heather - November 17, 2009 4:26 PM
Holy shiet that is homosexual.
24. Leonidas - November 17, 2009 6:41 PM
In death, a member of Project Mayhem has a name. His name is GFS.
/*hooray, motherfuxers!!!! now, if we concentrate hard enough, maybe we can summon Pew³ !!! */
25. DL - November 17, 2009 7:31 PM
What's the point if it doesn't lead into his arse?
26. Tom - November 17, 2009 8:26 PM
25 - lol! best comment yet.
And damn I wish we could do picture replys here ala 'Fark'
This thread needs more 'Mr Slave'.
27. Amaranth - November 17, 2009 9:13 PM
they forgot to add the attachment that goes to the anus
28. Berzerker - November 17, 2009 10:26 PM
i didnt read the comments, but did anyone make a Richard Gere joke yet? I hope so
29. Tim - November 18, 2009 7:01 AM
Where the hell was the gerbil shirt when I was a pudgy red-headed kid? I mean, I'm still pudgy and red-headed, but according to the judge and the prosecuting attorney, I'm not a kid anymore.
30. Jaded Icon - November 18, 2009 7:27 AM
I'm actually suprised that there aren't actual real life photos of some douchebag making this......well, what's stopping you guys! Go for it!
31. Anonymous - November 18, 2009 2:09 PM
Great.... ventilation means that your gerbils can piss all over you and the smell of their shit follows you everywhere... this has to be fake
32. jk - November 20, 2009 4:24 PM
Email me when they come out with gerbil shorts. And be sure to cc Richard Gere