Nov 20 2009Google: Perfect For Searching AND Wiping
Google toilet paper: made with 100% virgin pulp and available in Vietnam. Per a questionable translation of the text on the bag: "Very long, soft, smooth. Of high vacuum, because you always!" HIGH VACUUM, OF COURSE I ALWAYS! Dingleberry free, just sayin'.
This Google's made from 100% Virgin pulp, not chrome [engadget]
Thanks to wes, who only wipes with Charmin because the dude's a bear.
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Reader Comments
1. bob - November 20, 2009 7:15 PM
first
2. smtippin - November 20, 2009 7:16 PM
Google...taking over the world one ass at a time.
3. The way I see it... - November 20, 2009 7:17 PM
@1
Wow, that was fast! This page wasn't up for more than a minute ago.
4. Meatpuppet - November 20, 2009 7:46 PM
Where's the 'I'm Feeling Luky' option?
Haw haw haw.
5. bob - November 20, 2009 7:53 PM
If I'm putting anything to my ass, it's going to be long, hard and smooth.
6. Vik Designs - November 20, 2009 8:01 PM
LMAO @ 5
7. Ann - November 20, 2009 8:28 PM
I just have to lol at the translation. It actually means high absorbency, but i have no idea what virgin pulp is.
8. bob - November 20, 2009 8:47 PM
virgin pulp
n.
1. The remains of a broken an tattered hymen. Usually comprised of viscous blood and tissue scraps that is leaked after a woman experiences intercourse for the first time.
2. What's left of the six year old girls before I dump them in a well.
9. bad body - November 20, 2009 8:58 PM
pump lia nlki
10. mothafuka - November 20, 2009 8:59 PM
who wants to fuck a 16yrs old hong kong man??
11. Samir N. - November 20, 2009 9:00 PM
This will be the only time Microsoft gets to wipe it's a$$ with Google....
12. Closet Nerd - November 20, 2009 10:23 PM
Ya know what, FUCK YOU Chewy!!!
I still have that "jump down, turn around pick a bail of cotton..." shit stuck in my head!!!!!! just sayin
13. cabbo - November 20, 2009 10:29 PM
virgin pulp is what you get when you put baby in a corner.
oooh.
Although I'm sure I speak for everyone here when I say that I only wipe my ass with the finest virgins.
14. cabbo - November 20, 2009 10:56 PM
@7 Even still, high absorbancy, because you always!
But they're not lying, those virgins can suck.
15. Joker Boy - November 20, 2009 11:03 PM
Uh, Google, I know that people have said that they would wipe their butts with you, but you shouldn't take that as a business suggestion. You know, it's an insult...
http://www.blackbeatpress.com
16. cabbo - November 20, 2009 11:04 PM
It's 4 AM over here and I'm still enjoying this thought.
1. They're just doing what they've always done, searching for crap.
2. It's not the only time I've used google to search for turd.
3. Google has always been toilet paper. The way it brings together the pulp of the internet and turns it into a complex matrix of ultra absorbent fabric which is cheap and easy to use but then someone wipes their ass all over it. Probably in Vietnam.
17. cabbo - November 20, 2009 11:05 PM
number 2's humour was sort of lost. I was hinting at scat porn.
18. Jas - November 20, 2009 11:08 PM
Thanks GW!
If you guys liked this try visiting ENGRISH.COM !!! It always gives a good laugh - it's a site devoted to terribly translated signs from around the world.
However, like all sites, engrish.com pails in comparison to Geekologie! :)
19. Darkness - November 21, 2009 5:10 AM
Well. Now I know how google gets all the crap I look up. Ha ha ha. Laugh with me boy.
Ha ha ha ha ha- I suck -__-
20. om3ga - November 21, 2009 6:12 AM
why is everything related to turds today? i feel physically sick...
21. Lee - November 21, 2009 9:13 AM
Saddening that trees that have been around longer then you and I are cut down to wipe your bottom and then to be flushed all within thirty seconds.
http://www.nrdc.org/land/forests/tissue.asp
http://www.rethinkdesign.org/paper/pulp.html#
22. Profound - November 21, 2009 10:20 AM
sometimes i use firefox to wipe my ass. just sayin'
23. ~☻,_∫∫ ∕∕-][ Ỵ ([¦¦ ([]) ][-¦¦ ☻~ - November 21, 2009 10:39 AM
lol herpes
24. naas - November 21, 2009 11:04 AM
@5 i would also stick something long,hard, and smooth in my ass
because i like it fast, IF you know what i mean...
25. KEVEERRROONNOOO - November 21, 2009 11:30 AM
I wipe my anus clean with my right hand. Just sayin.
26. cabbo - November 21, 2009 12:30 PM
@22 Sadening, or a testimonial to the superior species that is mankind. We wipe our ass on the competition.
27. cabbo - November 21, 2009 12:31 PM
I'm not getting this new meme. Just sayin'.
28. Ebee - November 21, 2009 1:39 PM
Google is the sh** and now they have their own toilet paper.
http://www.ShopStunGuns.com
29. me - November 21, 2009 1:53 PM
@19 i am forever thankful
30. khz - November 21, 2009 2:32 PM
Holy crap more awesome shit here..
http://www.obviouswinner.com
geekologie is awesome btw...
31. the heat - November 21, 2009 3:32 PM
@27
You're proud of being able to conquer.... plants? You do realize that they don't fight back, right? Not exactly the most worthy opponent.
And of course there's the self-destructive element involved in destroying organisms that are essential for our own existence. Doesn't sound like such a great mark of supriority.
But if you do insist on rating superiority by who beats whom (the "rock-paper-scissors standard" that was so cool in second grade), then humans are far inferior to AIDS, Ebola, E. Coli, Rabies, et. al. Bow Down to your Masters!!
32. cabbo - November 23, 2009 5:52 PM
@32
1: It's a joke.
2: We replant the trees. We harvest our supplies.
3. I didn't know the majority of the human race was destroyed by a single form of disease. Also, there are people in south africa who are developing a resistance to AIDS. We can generally contain most infections.
If, one day, humanity's progress (technologically and genetically) is overcome by a disease, or grouping thereof, I'll take it back. At the minute, we're doing pretty well. So, who is the master?
33. Peter - January 21, 2010 3:34 PM
correction in translation D:
its not "very long"
its "very sturdy"
34. puma shoes sale - January 21, 2010 10:48 PM
thank you for share.