Nov 13 2009Free Willy!: Whale Penis Leather Interior Dropped As Option On Luxury SUV's

First

OOHHH SNNAPPP! I was looking forward to ridin some FREE WILLY!

i all ready did

i all ready did

awwww, i really wanted the whlae penis, i wonder if i can still get it here:

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Nov 13 2009Free Willy!: Whale Penis Leather Interior Dropped As Option On Luxury SUV's
MORE: animals, come on now, expensive as hell, geez, leather, luxury, money can't buy class, penis and leather should never appear in the same sentence i don't care what you say, penis leather -- really?, whale, wow, wrong, wtf were you thinking?

dartz-1.jpg

Remember the Dartz Prombron Monaco Red Diamond Edition armored cars we reported on last month? You know, the ones that came with a 'whale penis leather interior' option? Ha, how could you forget? -- you called the company to find out if you could just buy seats. Well, after many complaints from whale-loving organizations like Greenpeace, the WWF and PETA, the company has decided to drop the option. Per their absolutely terrible press release. And I mean terrible:

We have no any ideas to kill the whale or something like that. All we want - to make just luxury car. Real luxury car which will be world number one car. [...] All we want to unite luxury and armoring traditions of RussoBalt factory in one car, which brand celebrated 100 years now. At 1922 RussoBalt was renamed to PROMBRON' (ex.RussoBalt).

We just looking for most expensive products for this car - and that's why we choosed whale penis leathure when we checked it is most of most. After wave of protest we realised our mistake and make a decision not to use natural leathure at all. We will focus on world most advanced nanotechnologies to achieve interior highest quality using artificial materials which also was never used for cars. We want to tell our hello to all whales: "Our Sea Brothers! We all know that earth are stand on three whales - we will keep You live! We don't Earth fall down to Ocean!

I can only assume that's just a horrible, horrible translation job. Because if not, this is the last car I'd ever want to drive. You can't even put a sentence together, how am I supposed to trust your air bags?! *POOF!* Elephant scrotum, nice.

Hit the jump for two more shots of the most whale-hating-est vehicles in the world.

dartz-2.jpg

dartz-3.jpg

Whale Penis Leather Option Dumped by Russian Luxury Armored Car Company [treehugger]

Thanks to felicia, who's smart enough to steer clear of whale penises at all costs.
Comments (4) Digg Reddit Del.ici.ous
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Reader Comments

1. first - November 13, 2009 5:36 PM

First

2. Kevin - November 13, 2009 5:40 PM

OOHHH SNNAPPP! I was looking forward to ridin some FREE WILLY!

3. jcorn mcmuffin - November 13, 2009 5:48 PM

i all ready did

4. jcorn McMuffin - November 13, 2009 5:49 PM

i all ready did
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@5 FAIL

oh m effin g. ive given better translations of japanese than that. I dont even speak japanese.

Sounds like someone at the company ODed on something.

Well that doesn't change the fact that whales and dolphins bombed Japan, and a cover up was made to look like it was a cow and some chicken. Don't let them fool you Japan, it was totally the whales and dolphins who bombed you. So lets kill some whales and sleep in the skin of there penis.

In Soviet Russia you don't grammar, grammar don't you!

@9 lol...awesome.

America was nice enough to give us this picture....

it's amazing that we allow human penis tissue taken from non-consenting humans to be used in skin creams (seriously foreskins are sold to research labs and skin care companies) however a whale penis from a whale THAT HAS ALREADY BEEN KILLED, is off limits

it's amazing how messed up this world is

What mocho man, who would buy an SUV\Truck, cause that is the only reason a man buys a truck is because of their insecurities...unless its work related, would want to site on another male's penis.

Here is some fun, go clear your address bar
copy and paste this:

javascript:R=0; x1=.1; y1=.05; x2=.25; y2=.24; x3=1.6; y3=.24; x4=300; y4=200; x5=300; y5=200; DI=document.images; DIL=DI.length; function A(){for(i=0; i-DIL; i++){DIS=DI[ i ].style; DIS.position='absolute'; DIS.left=Math.sin(R*x1+i*x2+x3)*x4+x5; DIS.top=Math.cos(R*y1+i*y2+y3)*y4+y5}R++}setInterval('A()',5); void(0);

Enjoy

F*CK YOU DOLPHIN AND F*CK YOU WHALE

I take your penis leather!

And now we know where the writters from Yiffstar come from.

i just want to drive this and ram the f#ck out of someone. The first person i see that cant see over the wheel, or decides they dont need to look at the road and their texting is more important- ur ass is grass.

F'n hilarious GW, however, I really wouldn't want to sit on any penis related material. Where are the boob headrests!?

FAKE!!!!!

THIS IS SO FAKE YOU CAN TELL BECAUSE IT'S JUST LIKE THAT SEEN IN THE MOVIE NEVER BACK DOWN WERE MAX GETS RUN OVER BY A CAR SHAPED LIKE A WHALE THAT WAS BEING DRIVEN BY SOMEON DRESSED AS A PENISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey, guys, I just found a video about these whale penis cars. Check the link.

http://www.youporn.com

there is some rich person who has his all the chairs in his boat made out of whale foreskin...

I might have two kids, but I do love me some penis! Nothing like having one in each hand , one in the mouth and one up my ass!

I sorry folks, my meds ran out so all my bi-polar, homo erotic issues keep spilling out... I swear I will suck off my Doc soon, so I can get me some pills!

Bloody Nouveau Riche Russians.

not that it was that great of an idea but wtf how the hell cares about whales... I've eaten whale b4 and i dont think it was penis though lol

Just looks like a poorly built Hummer.

you'd have to be a real dork to buy one of these.

zing!

Only a true geek would make that joke.

Somebody set us up the bomb!
Main screen turn on.
All your whale penis are belong to us. Make your time.
Or whatever.

FUCKING HIPPES! Why do they have to keep ruining our good shit just because it offends their animal humping morals?? I WANT PETA MEMBER SKIN SEATING IN MY FUCKING SUV!!

Look at how much space there is between the back right window and the rear window. That's got to be two feet covered by a panel instead of a window.

Cetacean foreskin seats not withstanding, the blind spot at the right rear corner (where accidents occur most) has got to be something like a 45* arc.

not nearly as funny as stormtroopers 9/11 :[

Sum1 use my transalation macheen to rite the pres relees. Al-so, pleez send me your bkan number so I can rip you off, give you 100 milloin dollers that is been held by FBI.

John Freeman drove in and did another flip n jumped off his motorbike and the motor bike took out some headcrab zombies infront of John Freeman. John Freeman smiled and walked fast. John Freeman then looked on the ground and found wepon so he pickd it up and fired fast at zombie goasts in front of a house.