Nov 18 2009Dad Only Speaks Klingon To Son For 3 Years
This handsome dapper portly half-Santa isn't the man in the story, but that doesn't matter. What's important is that he practices good dental hygiene. Also, that some cat named d'Armond Speers decided to only speak Klingon to his son for the first three years of his life. But fret not, he did it with good cause: cruelty experimentation. I knew I had kids for a reason!
"I was interested in the question of whether my son, going through his first language acquisition process, would acquire it like any human language," Speers told the Minnesota Daily. "He was definitely starting to learn it."
And get this, Speers says he isn't really a huge Star Trek fan.Does the fact that Speers has a doctorate in computational linguistics explain anything -- or excuse anything -- here? Maybe. His child-rearing habits were part of a larger story on the company he advises, Ultralingua, which develops language and translation software. Including Klingon.
Yeah, I don't know how I feel about that. Besides somebody get this man a 'Father of the Year' ribbon! Are you reading this B.F. Skinner? That air-crib was weak shit!
Local dad spoke only Klingon to child for three years [citypages]
Thanks to Demon Spawn and Kelly, who are only speaking jibberish to their children for six years.
Reader Comments
1. Mikedaasian - November 18, 2009 7:16 PM
first?
2. boo - November 18, 2009 7:19 PM
Geeze are you just stalkig out the website to see when a new post comes up to be first. LOSER!
3. Eskimobob - November 18, 2009 7:24 PM
thirdtard
4. nathan - November 18, 2009 7:24 PM
nathan
5. Pew³ - November 18, 2009 7:27 PM
kAbLAHH!
6. Closet Nerd - November 18, 2009 7:57 PM
He is retarded! I've said it before and I'll say it again, "Stupidity is a disease that is infecting the people of this nation." Seriously WTF?!
7. Primrose - November 18, 2009 8:03 PM
hahaha, that guy is awesome! watch that kid go to kindergarden and try to talk to everyone in klingon!! he would be the coolest kid ever
8. Black - November 18, 2009 8:37 PM
He must have stopped when the wife went
" My baby will not be riding the short bus because of your experiment. Of course they would pick it up, how else would a baby speak Spanish and we know English?"
9. Dr. Parsons - November 18, 2009 8:38 PM
The news article is new but the story is over ten years old. As the kid got older he quit using Klingon because English was just a bit more useful, and he should be in high school now.
10. Dishy Dishyington - November 18, 2009 9:13 PM
Huh... yousa might'n be sayin dat dis no good, but mesa tink dos no so bad gooberfish. Ye gods, mesa haten Klingons -- dats da las ting mesa wanten, spaken Klingon, day's maxi wude smellsy stinkowiffs. Ye gods, whatta meesa sayin'? Meesa liken all gunga, stinky mostest.
11. Not Michael Dorn - November 18, 2009 9:14 PM
That was a terrible idea; of course the son would learn Klingon, did that really prove anything? Now the kid is just frakked up and will need a speech/language therapist. All he accomplished is helping keep the therapists employed.
12. J - November 18, 2009 9:27 PM
@7, yep the coolest kindy kid on the block. Shame that when he gets a bit older he has to change his name to "Punch my head in Speers" and they will be writing a movie based on his life called "The 97 year old virgin"
13. Closet Nerd - November 18, 2009 9:30 PM
Now that I come back and look at this again, I think the REALLY amazing thing is that this guy even had sex in the first place!
14. naas - November 18, 2009 9:48 PM
....poor kid, just sayin
@5 I know you've been lurking for awhile, but why have you been so quiet?
15. JesSTDs - November 18, 2009 10:22 PM
Should have taught him elvish
16. Wrath001M - November 18, 2009 10:43 PM
Hot damn no idea what to say there.
17. George - November 18, 2009 10:51 PM
Since every youth has learned every other language ever taught to them for the during the formative years, why would Klingon be any different. This experiment seems totally ridiculous and unnecessary.
18. DaBA - November 18, 2009 11:03 PM
Agree with @17. Plus, this seems like child abuse. The dad should be put in jail. If I was the kid I would run for the nearest balloon and sail away.
19. library_girl - November 19, 2009 12:06 AM
um. wow. that sucks. how did the dad get layed in the first place?!?!?!
20. Father Mullet - November 19, 2009 12:30 AM
@1 Hab SoSlI' Quch!
21. Tom - November 19, 2009 1:29 AM
This is absolutely child abuse, I hope the authorities get involved.
22. bad body - November 19, 2009 3:23 AM
that's absolutely
23. Jimie! - November 19, 2009 3:46 AM
WHY?
24. Cade - November 19, 2009 4:02 AM
Kudos, GW, on the Skinner reference. :) Made my day.
25. FryInTheSky - November 19, 2009 4:48 AM
So, did this kid retain any of this as an adult? Did he have nightmares of bumpy headed aliens yelling at him? I suppose if everyone else spoke english, he probably thought his dad was a nutter, even if he was three years old.
26. George - November 19, 2009 5:22 AM
FAG!
27. OhhelLLYEAH - November 19, 2009 6:13 AM
I would tap that.
28. Mark Wise - November 19, 2009 6:43 AM
"human language" Heh
Klingon bears an astonishing resemblance to the languages of native Americans in the Northwest.
29. Ebee - November 19, 2009 7:21 AM
This guy is dumb do an experiment on a ginuea pig or something not a child, stupidity is like diarrhea in runs in the genes, maybe his parents spoke moron to him when he was a kid.
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30. erik - November 19, 2009 7:39 AM
Congratulations, you just pretty much sealed the deal on your kid never getting laid.
31. Jaded Icon - November 19, 2009 8:38 AM
IDK, I am not a Trek fan but I don't really see the harm or the purpose of this at all. I do see the harm if the kid was NOT taught english along with the Klingon.......just saying.
32. Ollie Williams - November 19, 2009 9:14 AM
What the hell is in his mouth? Those are no teeth my friends. I believe it's a space station, or a novelty eagle head, or a drink stirrer.
33. Elmo - November 19, 2009 10:09 AM
hmmm.. ( i remember reading about?) Darwin used to study primate infants, comparing them to his own kids and remarking on the immediate similarities - but i'm sure he didn't teach them to pick up shit and throw it at passing motorists before stealing their winscreen wipers. This guy is an idiot, playing with a defenseless developing mind. (I wonder if he taught him any slick knife attack/defense moves? 'Cause i'm totally onboard if he did)
34. Melonie - November 19, 2009 10:22 AM
This just makes me so proud to be a Minnesotan.
35. Blastphemer - November 19, 2009 12:33 PM
Not a huge "trekkie" (as anyone who knows me, and/or has read more than 5 of my posts around here), BUT...the thought of someone speaking Klingon with that Minnesota accent...................THAT strikes me as hilarious!!!
36. Jaded Icon - November 19, 2009 2:23 PM
@ 34
Holy Cr*p! I totally missed that too! I'm Minnesotan and this thing is re-dick. Maybe I saw him at CONvergence and never knew. Brrr.....creepy.
37. Gabe - November 19, 2009 2:27 PM
@17 The point of the experiment, I suppose, is to see if a created language can be passed on a like a natural language and if there are any differences. Supposedly George Sorros, the billionaire, was taught Esperanto from birth and is one of the very few people who speak it as a first language.
One of the better methods for raising bilingual children is for one parent to speak only one language and the other parent to speak the other - this is supposed to help the child learn to differentiate between the two earlier. Perhaps the wife spoke English to the kiddo.
38. Richard McBeef - November 19, 2009 2:36 PM
If the dude was chinese and only spoke mandarin to the kid, nobody would be screaming abuse. What's the difference? They are pretty much equally worthless languages in the united states.
39. bob - November 20, 2009 1:47 AM
Faggot!
(but not in the bad way)
40. paul smith - November 20, 2009 11:25 AM
http://www.newpaulsmith.com/paul-smith-bags-c-520.html
41. Christine - December 21, 2009 12:26 AM
Abuse: Do any of you people have any intelligence at all. WTF There are 127 recognized languages. If we don't teach our kids English first but one of the other 126 is that abuse.
Ebee: thank you for being the living proof of your statements.
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43. Connor - February 3, 2010 1:41 AM
Ye gods, mesa haten Klingons -- dats da las ting mesa wanten, spaken Klingon, day's maxi wude smellsy stinkowiffs.Now the kid is just frakked up and will need a speech/language therapist. All he accomplished is helping keep the therapists employed.
44. jordanshoes - February 4, 2010 4:44 PM
Ye gods, mesa haten Klingons -- dats da las ting mesa wanten, spaken Klingon, day's maxi wude smellsy stinkowiffs.Now the kid is just frakked up and will need a speech/language therapist. All he accomplished is helping keep the therapists employed.
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