Nov 10 2009Close Calls: Killer Robot Plane Goes Rogue, Is Shot Down Before It Can Turn On Its Master
An autonomous killer Reaper jet recently went rogue in Northern Afghanistan and had to be shot down before it got the chance to go berserk and blast the shit out of the blue team. Eff that!
The aircraft was flying a combat mission when positive control of the MQ-9 was lost. When the aircraft remained on a course that would depart Afghanistan's airspace, a US Air Force manned aircraft took proactive measures to down the Reaper in a remote area of northern Afghanistan.
It wasn't clear from the US military announcement whether the erratic death-bot had turned on its masters and was planning an attack on critical US logistics bases located north of the Afghan border, or whether it had sickened of reaping hapless fleshies like corn and was hoping merely to escape. Alternatively the machine assassin may merely have succumbed to boredom or - just possibly - a mundane, non-anthropomorphic technical fault of some kind.
Okay, I don't know exactly how this fits into my government/robot conspiracy, but I assure you it does. Importantly. Like the last piece in a very critical puzzle. Provided my dog didn't eat any pieces. Because then I'll have to cut a similar shape out of construction paper and color it with markers. AND IT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME. My parents will tell me you can barely tell the difference BUT YOU CAN TELL. You can tell.
Robot Fighter Jet Killed Before It Could Go AWOL [io9]
Thanks to AdmiralN00b, Shawn, Beanbones, Paul, Timothy, Anonymous, Sambob, That Guy and Jason, who are all welcome to stay in my anti-robot shelter, provided they shower. And spoon.
Reader Comments
1. grimreaper - November 10, 2009 10:16 PM
FIRST BITCHES!!
2. Discoman - November 10, 2009 10:31 PM
bug in standard programming...these either try to fly higher until the signal is regained or return home on their own. they do not have the intelligence to blash people on their own
3. lolsauce shadowsushi - November 10, 2009 10:40 PM
loloolollooll 4thsauce
4. lolsauce shadowsushi - November 10, 2009 10:40 PM
ima fourthtard :D
5. STOMPY - November 10, 2009 10:46 PM
Your up late tonight GW....
6. Alfafageek - November 10, 2009 11:03 PM
i vote it got hacked and its a cover up story above to say the government isn't that careless with our tax dollars.
7. crackerLeroy - November 10, 2009 11:15 PM
damn them... damn them all!
i had just keyed in the coordinates for PETA Headquarters! My sweet, sweet revenge will come, I assure you. OH yes.
yessssssss.
PS blashing? Really?
8. Samir Notgonaworkhereanymore - November 10, 2009 11:22 PM
I think that bit about it getting hacked might be true. I seriously doubt they lost control of this thing, given we have the most advanced satellite communications in the world.. and these aren't pre-programmed to attack on their own.. so why would it need to be shot down? Then again, I don't think the Camel Express has the technology to crack the encryption in our signals... Either way, I'm not sleeping any easier tonight.. only a matter of time till these bastards turn on their owners!
9. naas - November 10, 2009 11:24 PM
why shoot it down if it's unman'd over afghanastan?
10. naas - November 10, 2009 11:24 PM
why shoot it down if it's unman'd over afghanistan?
11. Sam - November 10, 2009 11:26 PM
We need to form a resistance....NOW
F*** Skynet !!
12. James - November 10, 2009 11:37 PM
not a jet.
13. naas - November 10, 2009 11:39 PM
well now...
14. Spounz - November 10, 2009 11:55 PM
Hmmm sounds like Chuck having problem again at is Buy more !
15. Muerta - November 10, 2009 11:55 PM
It just wanted to play a game of chess.
16. Dishy Dishyington - November 11, 2009 12:36 AM
You're right about the puzzle pieces GW. Instead of resorting to construction paper my parents fed our dog burritos until the piece magically reappeared.
Like you said, it was never the same. You CAN tell. By the smell.
17. nevik557 - November 11, 2009 2:39 AM
so sky-net begins its test runs be ready ! im going to buy ammo
18. That uncle who did that bad thing we don't speak about - November 11, 2009 6:46 AM
I bet the guy that got to shoot it down was loving it.
"FINALLY SOME ACTION!!!! TAKE THAT AUTO-DRONE!!!!!!!!! PEW PEW PEWWWW!!!!!!!"
19. Ebee - November 11, 2009 7:02 AM
Ouch that hurts, i wonder how much one of these planes cost and what kind of destruction they are capable of causing?
http://www.ShopStunGuns.com
20. ~☻,_∫∫ ∕∕-][ Ỵ ([¦¦ ([]) ][-¦¦ ☻~ - November 11, 2009 7:56 AM
I smell a cover story
21. Closet Nerd - November 11, 2009 8:15 AM
GW.... repressed childhood memories?
Uncle Chuck said, "it was all just a dream.... nothing really happened".
Remember?
22. Jaded Icon - November 11, 2009 8:30 AM
@ 23
"Uncle" Chuck touched me inappropriately in my no-no area.........but that was because I put a gun to his head and told him to do it. Later I told his wife and kids, strangely enough they enjoyed the story and we all had a good laugh.
23. shellshell - November 11, 2009 8:33 AM
It's just Steve controlling his american dad's plane again.
24. Closet Nerd - November 11, 2009 9:04 AM
@24 That reminds me of playing "find the tea cup in the sheets" with Aunt Sophia
25. Blastphemer - November 11, 2009 9:12 AM
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Happy Veteran's Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That is all...carry on.
26. naas - November 11, 2009 10:04 AM
SHOOT A GUN
27. naas - November 11, 2009 10:06 AM
...and make sure you're aiming at a firstards' head
28. Freddy K - November 11, 2009 10:10 AM
You would think they would have a self destruct button in case something like this happens, also to ensure it would not fall into enemy hands.
Hey, what does this button do?.... BOOM!....
oops, um sorry taxpayer.
29. Closet Nerd - November 11, 2009 10:16 AM
@30 That is crazy..... since when would the government ever say "um sorry taxpayer"
30. STOMPY - November 11, 2009 10:34 AM
why shoot it down if it's unman'd over afghanistan?
31. STOMPY - November 11, 2009 10:35 AM
why shoot it down if it's unman'd over afghanistan?
32. STOMPY - November 11, 2009 10:47 AM
why shoot it down if it's unman'd over afghanistan?
33. 24-bit whore - November 11, 2009 10:51 AM
why shoot it down if it's unman'd over afghanistan?
34. naas - November 11, 2009 10:51 AM
why shoot it down if it's unman'd over afghanistan?
35. Closet Nerd - November 11, 2009 11:02 AM
why shoot it down if it's unman'd over afghanistan?
36. Closet Nerd - November 11, 2009 11:03 AM
why shoot it down if it's unman'd over afghanistan?
37. kohn - November 11, 2009 11:05 AM
Its halloween EVERYDAY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbpuaY6cNeA
38. naas - November 11, 2009 11:30 AM
@39 you keep pushin that video & after seeing it 3 times now it's still not impressive. You remind me of todders
why shoot it down if it's unman'd over afghanistan?
39. Derrick - November 11, 2009 11:48 AM
@39 You F'ed it all up
40. JFreezy - November 11, 2009 12:11 PM
At least we know that when these things go rogue, they have crappy or no countermeasures. All we have to do pull up behind one and blow it away. SUCK ON THAT SKYNET!!
41. GoSS Jerk, formerly sterilized - November 11, 2009 1:23 PM
why shoot it down if it's unman'd over afghanistan?
42. Jaded Icon - November 11, 2009 1:24 PM
@ 26
I like her! She smells like boot leather.
BTW: why shoot it down if it's unman'd over afghanistan?
43. Closet Nerd - November 11, 2009 1:31 PM
@22 I don't smell anything.... it must be your upper lip
44. Trablenka - November 11, 2009 1:47 PM
Why didnt we do the same thing for ballonboy!?!?!
45. Heston - November 11, 2009 3:21 PM
This is old news.
46. whatdafever - November 11, 2009 3:27 PM
I call BS, these planes go into a holding pattern if they lose link and fly in a circle until they regain link or run out of fuel.
47. naas - November 11, 2009 4:08 PM
@48 no they don't
48. Alfafageek - November 11, 2009 7:52 PM
like i said it was hacked. someone trying to show the government how careless they are
49. Fors - November 12, 2009 12:15 PM
they needed to shoot it down for two primary reasons:
1. If it flies over airspace that the US is not cleared to fly over it would cause all kinds of foreign relations problems.
2. If it eventually lands and is recovered by someone unfriendly to our cause there's always the chance that someone could reverse-engineer the technology and start building them to use against us.
And I don't believe it got hacked. If it had I would think that whoever hacked it would use it right away to launch an attack against the nearest US force. If someone would be savvy enough to hack one I would would think they would also be savvy enough to know they would never be able to fly it away safely.
50. JusNod - November 15, 2009 10:14 PM
JusNod was here...
51. JusNod - November 15, 2009 10:15 PM
google jusnod