Trading in worthless gold for cats: 14K genius. Say -- can I see that ring? Cats For Gold Thanks to catsforgold, Seth, Alex and mary91, who, hey what happened to my necklace? Oh that's right I TURNED IT INTO CATS. | More →

You know the new Tony Hawk: Ride game that comes with a skateboard peripheral? This is a dog playing it -- and he's pretty good (except the 360 was obviously FAAAAKE). Which brings up an interesting question -- what is it with bulldogs and skateboarding? They love that shit for some reason. If I was a bulldog I would just lay in the sun and lick myself. This Bulldog... | More →

A passenger plane headed for an airport in eastern Congo overshot the runway (spider solitaire) and ended up crash-landing in lava. Wicked! Of course, I'm making this cooler than it actually was because it wasn't molten lava and it wasn't in the middle of a volcano. Truthfully, I don't even know why I'm reporting this besides 1. I'm awesome and B. journalism. The plane was flying from Kinshasa to... | More →

They're slippers. They're made out of bread. You can wear them then eat them. But you won't, because that's disgusting. I jest, knowing you you probably will. Freak. Just remember to take them off first. Martynas Birskys of the Vilnius-based design studio DaDaDa sells slippers made out of bread. For your comfort, you can select from various sizes and grains. It's hard to argue with his sales pitch "eatable...dries... | More →

Google toilet paper: made with 100% virgin pulp and available in Vietnam. Per a questionable translation of the text on the bag: "Very long, soft, smooth. Of high vacuum, because you always!" HIGH VACUUM, OF COURSE I ALWAYS! Dingleberry free, just sayin'. This Google's made from 100% Virgin pulp, not chrome [engadget] Thanks to wes, who only wipes with Charmin because the dude's a bear.... | More →

WARNING: NSFW VIDEO IS NSFW This is the highly, highly, HIGHLY NSFW music video for the Flair's 'Truckers Delight'. I can't even begin to describe to you how dirty I felt after watching it. Unless you've ever swam in pig shit and then showered in vomit afterward. In which case, Jesus, join another pool. Youtube Thanks Smee and Kaerus, I'll split my therapist's bills between the two of you.... | More →

Want to look like you're a cyborg or some shit? I couldn't imagine why (unless you want me to brain you with a crowbar), but if you do, just glue an on/off switch to the back of your head like Dominic Wilcox did. But, WARNING: your hats won't fit the same! Neat idea, Dominic, but this is exactly the kind of thing that'll get you killed if you roll... | More →

I can't even imagine weaving bacon so tight as to not let liquid (well, molten cheese) through, but apparently somebody did. My hat oven mitts are off to you, bacon mug maker. Cause one time I tried weaving bacon and it didn't even make a solid placemat. It did, however, make a solid after-school snack. Kidding, I'm vegetarian. Did you feel that? That was your head imploding. Bacon Beer... | More →

The Humunga Stache is a $12 piece of molded rubber. One side's a ball, and the other is giant freaking mustache. So when your dog bites the ball, guess what happens! (Hint: you take pictures and post them Facebook with clever captions). Add some low-cost laughs to your frequent frolics with Fido! This shiny black toy is a ball on one end, and a giant cartoon mustache on the... | More →

In a mash-up of universes that's about to make my head explode, it turns out Tusken Raiders love Scooby Snacks. And speaking of which -- I'd like to see Scoob and the gang try pulling THAT dude's mask off. Ruh-roh is right -- you gonna die! Sand People like Scooby Snacks [tk8247's deviantart] Thanks to sham, who only tried Bantha fodder once and didn't like it.... | More →

Mass We Pray is a video game to get that Holy Spirit all up in your system and have fun with the whole family at the same time. With fun interactive mini-games like 'Conduct the Choir' and 'Genuflecting', you're sure to make Jesus proud (who's ALWAYS watching, BTW). Looks fun, doesn't it? That said, this is viral advertising for Dante's Inferno dropping in February. But I want to see... | More →

How would you like this creepy little bastard staring at your ass when you're performing squats? Or maybe holding your feet while you do crunches? Or maybe you've got to be out of your got-damn mind! Bandit is helping the University of Southern California Center for Robotics and Embedded Systems conduct a study on exercise training. 70 volunteers of all ages (including 20 people aged 60 or older living... | More →

The latest in a string of taco-related violence, a masked marauder in Illinois held up another man at machete-point and demanded the poor chap's tacos. Admit it -- if you'd have had a machete you would have done the same thing! Elgin Deputy Police Chief Jeff Swoboda says a local resident was walking back to his vehicle Sunday night after buying 16 tacos for $41 when a man wearing... | More →

We saw another steering wheel desk here on Geekologie quite some time ago, but I think we can all agree this is a much improved model. First of all, you can write/type at a normal angle and not the angle of the actual wheel. As a matter of fact, I'm using one now, and I've got to admit: it's quite comfortable. Secondly, HOOOOOOLY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT Hit the jump for a... | More →

Wonder what the Gorn and Salt Vampire that were supposed to appear in the new Star Trek's deleted Rura Penthe Klingon prison scenes looked like? This. Good lookin', but I'll take a steroid abuser in a dinosaur mask any day. I'm serious, just show up. J.J. Abrams' Version Of Star Trek's Salt Vampire And Gorn Revealed [io9] Thanks to Jase, who may or may not have just ordered some... | More →

NOTE: Video slightly NSFW due to adult language from a limey 14-year old. You ever wonder what else is going on in the world of a kid who will cry and punch the wall about a video game not living up to his expectations? Apparently a budding music career. And by budding I mean rotting. On the vine. You will never sell those tomatoes! Still, I did find myself... | More →

These Pick Your Nose party cups from Fred are a set of 24 cups (2 each of 12 designs) with different noses printed on them. That way you can easily identify your beverage and not end up drinking from somebody's dipping spit-cup. WHICH HAPPENS. Plus, you you get to spice up your look a bit. Although I'm a little disappointed they didn't get a little more creative with the... | More →

I like this clock. I can't exactly say why but I think it's because it costs $2,338 and is definitely something my son team of highly skilled artisans could recreate for a fraction of the cost, ultimately saving you, the sucker, a bundle. one of our favorite wall clocks, the catena wall clock harkens back to traditional mechanical clocks. copper digits mounted onto a bicycle chain place emphasis on... | More →

Looking for the latest and least greatest in iPhone apps? Check out the $1 "Blower" app. It sucks blows sucks and blows is f***ing stupid. Thanks to the new "Blower" app, iPhone owners will now be able to blow out candles with their handset. Just "switch on your app, turn the iPhone volume to the max and feel the air flowing from the speaker opening." Unlock the new mind-blowing... | More →

Because soon everything will be available pork-flavored, J&D's is selling bacon-flavored popcorn. I assume it's just regular popcorn with their bacon-salt added to the bag, but what do I know? Besides everything because God and I are like this *crossing fingers to show extreme closeness*. $12 gets you three bags. Alternatively, $12 will also net you 40 Glad Tall Kitchen Trashbags (with Odor Shield technology). So, yeah, the choice... | More →

Yay, two laser posts in a row! The $17 FroliCat BOLT is an award winning laser lightshow for cats with owners who are too lazy to wave a laser pointer around or have lost the use of their limbs. Simply turn it on and projects a red dot and moves it in random patterns for 15 minutes, or until your cat (or dog, or baby) realizes what's going on... | More →

Laser Crosswalks are the crosswalks of the future. You can tell because it has 'laser' in the name. Pretty much anything with 'laser' in it is gonna be a huge hit in the future (including cereal). Don't believe me? Just stare at this laser eye-toy for a minute. Aaaaand now you're blind. The Virtual Wall is designed as a replacement for traffic lights and if made would use "plasma... | More →

I'm sure lots of time and effort went into the construction of this Jabba the Hutt cake, but that doesn't mean I'd eat it. You see, I have a rule about eating things that look like slippery green turds: make somebody else try it first. Which, *cocking laser blaster* is why you're here. Don't think I won't shoot first -- I will shoot first. Now, try one of those... | More →

This is a little gallery of superhero shaggin' wagons. They're all Photoshopped, but that isn't stopping me from wanting to sleep in one. Gosh, I can't even remember the last time I made love in the back of a 70's van BECAUSE I BLACKED OUT LAST NIGHT. But seriously, I barely knew the guy and he said he had free candy. Hit the jump for five more and a... | More →

This handsome dapper portly half-Santa isn't the man in the story, but that doesn't matter. What's important is that he practices good dental hygiene. Also, that some cat named d'Armond Speers decided to only speak Klingon to his son for the first three years of his life. But fret not, he did it with good cause: cruelty experimentation. I knew I had kids for a reason! "I was interested... | More →

This is a video of the workers in a Microsoft store dancing around and clapping like the bunch of out-of-shape retail employees they are. That said, I would've passed out halfway through the song BUT ONLY CAUSE I'D BEEN DRINKING. The Blackeyed Peas compel the employees at the Microsoft Store in Mission Viejo, California to break out in dance, let their hair down and have some fun. This is... | More →

Well folks, it happened. The Pirate Bay BitTorrent tracker officially kicked the bucket yesterday. What does this mean for Pirate Bay users? Although the site will remain operational for now, millions of BitTorrent users will lose the use of its tracker and will instead have to rely on DHT and alternative trackers to continue downloading. "Now that the decentralized system for finding peers is so well developed, TPB has... | More →

A drunk and overzealous ninja, who may be the guy in this picture but was probably the kid in this video, attempted jumping over a fence in Seattle, Washington, only to impale himself on a pole. I knew about buttpirates, but who knew there were buttninjas too?! You're no drunken master! Seattle police say a man who thought he was ninja was impaled on a metal fence when he... | More →

Listen, I'm not here to tell you to follow Jesus or smoke buddha or whatever, I'm just here to report the things I see and maybe make a couple drug connections in the process. And this is a 'dinosaur eating the Jesus fish' car decal. Love it or hate it, you've got to admit it's the first time you've ever seen a t-rex holding something with its little arms.... | More →

If you're not familiar with shirt.woot, congratulations, and welcome to the internet. There's lots of stuff in this series of tubes, including, and virtually limited to: misinformation and porn. Also, Geekologie and stuff for sale. And speaking of stuff for sale, $10 will get you this Zombie Vampire Robots from Space shirt (shipped!) TODAY ONLY. I could take this time to explain how shirt.woot and woot.com work and even... | More →

This is a 'Pulp Fiction' styled Mario animation that Geekologie Reader Jeremie made. It is most impressive and has restored my faith in Geekologie Readers. For awhile there I was worried you were just a bunch of no-talent FIRST!ing ass-hats. So yeah -- thanks Jeremie, I needed that. *removes laser blaster from mouth* Youtube Thanks to Jeremie, whose starcoin-purse is the one that says 'bad mother f***er' on it.... | More →

Remember how you heard J.J. Abrams snuck R2-D2 somewhere in the new Star Trek movie? And remember how you kept going back to the theater with the hopes of spotting him? God, you need a hobby. I dunno, World of Warcraft or something. Anyway, thanks to the recent release of the film and newfangled slow-motion technology, the droid has been spotted. The blog Gizmodo has located the brave droid's... | More →

This is a clever answer to a query posed in Yahoo! Answers. You can't argue the answerer didn't give them exactly what they asked for, even if it's not what they wanted. Because, let's face it, a lot of people don't even know what they want. I'm looking at you, Mrs.Takes 8 Minutes To Order at the Taco Bell Drive Thru. Next time I'm ramming! Picture Thanks to TARDISlover,... | More →

Remember the video of the world's drunkest/crunkest/least stand-uppiest man trying to score some beer from the convenience store? Well it turns out he was battling a previously unseen wizard trying to prevent him from drinking and walking. This security footage, enhanced with technology so advanced you wouldn't even be able to understand it, explains it all. Even better than Clarissa -- AND THAT BITCH KNEW EVERYTHING. Youtube Thanks to... | More →

The Bender House looks like Bender's dome from Futurama. If you've never seen Futurama I'm going to assume you don't have a television or internet so you probably aren't even reading this. Unless they print out copies of Geekologie and distribute them in Africa, which, I think we can all agree, is the best idea you've ever heard. Anyway, I'm gonna go ahead and start taking bets on how... | More →

This is a video of a woman "singing" the vocals on Afterlife's 'Avenged Sevenfold' in Rock Band 2 on expert with a flute. I've known you could do this for awhile because all that matters is that you hit the right pitch. WHICH, TEAM, IS EXACTLY HOW YOU HIT HOME RUNS. Now get out there and make coach-y proud, I'm betting on you. Youtube Thanks to collin, ROCKY, bubbler... | More →

Well folks, this just goes to show you can only dangle from rooftops staring into women's bedroom windows for so long before the boys in blue take notice. For shame, Spidey, for shame. And, on a completely and totally unrelated note that has absolutely nothing to do with this story: I have a used repelling harness for sale. Spiderman getting arrested [jonahray]... | More →

Berry Plastics and the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers teamed up to develop X-Flex, a wallpaper with woven Kevlar strong enough to prevent bomb blasts from blowing all your shit up. Nice, but is it Big Bad Wolf proof? That mother can huff and puff! X-Flex works so well that the armed forces are considering redecorating its army bases in Iraq and Afghanistan with the stuff. And, mindful of... | More →

Gosh, it seems like only yesterday I was hard at working fashioning a bong out of my gerbil's old Habitrail. But it wasn't, it was this morning I'm doing it right now. Anybody have a hot glue gun? The Gerbil Shirt wraps your torso in plastic tube passageways, making your bod a super highway of fun for Binky and Bart. The interior surfaces are textured for traction and have... | More →

Just look at that cute little devil wrapped up all tight in his egg! It's like he's a little present himself -- all he needs is a bow! Show your strictly platonic dino-love this holiday season with this $14 Brachiosaurus hatchling ornament from the Big Bad Toy Store. They make the perfect Christmas momento for children and adults who never stopped loving dinos alike. Unfortunately, I want a REAL... | More →

To demonstrate how good the atmosphere looks on a Toshiba television, the company floated an armchair and camera up to 98,000-feet with a helium balloon. It's a really beautiful thing to watch, right up there with catfights at the bar. Gouge her eyes out! Toshiba and Youtube Thanks to nicobbg, Deputy Dog, Melissa, pouncer24 and naas, who are all convinced the moon landing was faked as part of a... | More →

In a feat of extreme-mowing, two men in Cambridge, New Zealand used a crane to lift a lawnmower high enough to trim one's overgrown hedges. Nice, guys, I like the way you think -- EXXXTREME!! The operator, who did not want to be named, is now nursing a broken hand, but said it wasn't a fall from the mower that caused the injury but one off the crane. He... | More →

This is a photo taken by Flickr user Meow Cely of a girl with 'pew pew' tattooed across her fingers. I must admit, I admire her dedication to the pews. You don't see me rocking any pew-y ink (except in THIS post), and I'm one of the the laser blaster's biggest proponents. Funny story: I went to a gun and knife show a few weeks ago and demanded my... | More →

I can't believe it took this long. And, who knows, maybe it's happened before. I mean, birds shit on my car all the time. Cats too. And, at least twice this year, a homeless man. Well, from a purely technical standpoint, that was actually IN the car. And speaking of which: DON'T YOU EVER WIPE YOURSELF ON MY SEAT AGAIN. Use the passenger's. Google Maps Thanks to Marcos, who... | More →

Two extreme sporters used particularly gusty winds today to fulfill their live's dreams: to jump Worthing Pier in West Sussex, England, on kite-boards. It's time to dream bigger, brahs! Jake Scrace, 25, and Lewis Crathern, 24, had been planning Monday morning's jump for three years but had to wait for perfect weather conditions. They took off from Goring to the west side of Worthing in gusts of wind that... | More →

Because even problematic varmints deserve a proper burial to ensure their Micky Mouse souls can get into heaven, design studen Sarah Déry created these mouse trap coffins. This package was developed to solve the problem of neatly disposing of caught vermin by building the trap itself into a mini, rodent-sized coffin. With a simple slogan atop the box (Oh My God! Mouse Trap) the container can be opened using... | More →

NOTE: NSFW DUE TO LANGUAGE. WATCH IT WITH HEADPHONES ON OR THE VOLUME LOW. There's rock bottom, and then they're webcam-ing yourself crying and punching the wall over your disappointment about Modern Warfare 2. Jesus, kid, fix yourself a spot of tea and calm the f*** down. Oh, and for the love of God: lose the milk mustache. Youtube Thanks to kweks, who had a meltdown about the new... | More →

I hate out of season articles as much as you do, but this tauntaun Halloween costume by Scott Holden was too good not to post. Plus, I'd have already forgotten about it by the time Halloween rolls around next year (booze). Scott made this amazing costume from scratch. Using designs made in Solidworks, he started to outline the Tauntaun. The head mold was detailed using clay, then a mold... | More →

Belle Starenchak, better known as Pikachu Girl, or "PikaBelleChu", is now engaged DESPITE MY MUCH EARLIER PROPOSAL. I asked first, jerkbag. I was gonna catch all that! When Chris Herbert decided to pop the question to his girlfriend of three years, Belle Starenchak, he picked the most romantic place he could think of: Anime Weekend Atlanta, with both dressed as Pokemon. It ... kind of makes sense for them.... | More →

I love tequila sunrises. You know why? They're fruity, come with a little umbrella, and go down great with breakfast. Which, more often than not, is two quarts of mimosas I mixed into an orange juice carton. I SHOULD WRITE A BOOK ON EATING HEALTHY. But, for those of you that prefer a solid breakfast, maybe you'll be interested in this bacon sunrise, which is actually just some bacon,... | More →

This is a three-minute video of a woman reading the tale of Bioshock to a little kid old-ass man as a bedtime story. And, as a guy who recently played through Bioshock with his older brother (with all the lights on, and never after 7PM), I thought it was pretty good. But don't watch it unless you want the whole story spoiled. Because that's what it does, it spoils.... | More →

Apparently battery-powered illuminated liquor bottles are becoming all the rage. They're supposed to grab your attention when you're trying to decide what to order at the bar. Yeah, TOO BAD I ALREADY KNOW WHAT I WANT (one of everything -- and keep the cherries coming). Ballantine's new "Listen to Your Beat" campaign includes an electroluminescent label with graphic equalizer display. Designed by London-based "The Core," this label is more... | More →

For those of you that like to get high and lie in the middle of a field staring up, the Leonid meteor shower is supposed to reach its peak tonight from 1AM to dawn. Great, I'll be hiding in the back of the hallway closet waiting for the apocalypse. It, uh, is 2012, right? The best seats are in Asia, but North American observers should be treated to an... | More →

The Gaon Street Lamp was designed by Haneum Lee to turn trash into treasure. If light is treasure, which it's not. So I have no idea why I said that. Besides I'm awesome and I meant it. the Gaon street light/wastebasket concept composts biodegradable waste and uses the methane by-product to power its light, saving energy and eliminating waste while lighting the streets. but I'm not too sure if... | More →

This is a video of fifth-grader Will Smith (of Fresh Prince fame) singing 'Windows 7 Rising', a song about the operating system sung to the tune of CCR's 'Bad Moon Rising', at what I assume is a school-sponsored talent show. He's pretty skilled and undoubtedly left the stage that night with a number of 8th grader's hearts in his jacket pocket. Which sadly isn't many BECAUSE THEY DON'T MAKE... | More →

I think we all knew this day would come: Envelopes with bacon-flavored adhesive. Geez, these are almost as clever as my invention: nipple flavored envelopes. Which, I think you and I both know is the closest your tongue will ever come. J&D's, the makers of Bacon Salt and Baconnaise, isn't kidding when they say everything should taste like bacon: They just announced Mmmvelopes, bacon-flavored envelopes. $6.99 for 25 bacon-flavored... | More →

Because I love you all and am so proud of your accomplishments, here's Geekologie Reader Brian's recent Cisco Systems "bars" tattoo. For those of you not in the know, it's a stylized version of the Golden Gate Bridge. AND YES TATTOOS COUNT AS ACCOMPLISHMENTS. But, no matter what your BFF may have told you, being first in the comments doesn't. Thanks Brian, and remember to get those moles looked... | More →