I have no idea who the hell can tell that's 300,000 birds, but I'm running with it. And by running I mean flying. Just like those birds. Except less graceful. But equally naked! Think of me as like the Eleventh Plague of Egypt, if the Eleventh Plague of Egypt were a naked man standing on the roof flapping his arms. I'm coming for you, Pharoah! *caw caw!* It's a... | More →

Ever wanted a couch that transforms into bunk beds? Me neither. I do want one that turns into a fighter jet though. Okay you got me, I do want a transformer bunk bed. BUT IT BETTER NOT BE SENTIENT OR I WILL DRAG THAT SHIT OUT INTO THE YARD AND BURN IT. A SOFABED THAT DOES DOUBLE DUTY, Mobelform's Doc folds out into not one, but two twin sized... | More →

Ged Gavin, 55, has a bionic ass and doesn't care who knows. Which is good because I definitely just texted everyone in my phone. And by texted I mean sexted. All the kids are doing it. What? Yes I'd jump off a bridge! Mr Galvin suffered massive internal injuries and had to be fitted with a colostomy bag until surgeons at the Royal London Hospital could perform the complex... | More →

Mario and Luigi, best known for plunging shitters and trying to save the Princess from the evil clutches of Bowser, have turned to a life of crime. Specifically, robbing cab drivers. What's the Mushroom Kingdom coming to?! At around 4 a.m. on November 1, presumably following a Halloween party, a Staten Island cab driver was assaulted and robbed by four men. It being Halloween, it may have been difficult... | More →

Apparently some kids happened to videotape the $1.6 million Bugatti Veyron crash from the other day. And, surprise surprise, there was no "low-flying pelican". Nope, just a man playing with himself in one of the world's most expensive production vehicles. Way to go, champ. Hit the jump for a video of the car getting towed out.... | More →

This is a video taken from the top of the Burj Dubai, the tallest building in the world, at 2,684 ft. Jesus, that's half a mile. Can you believe humans are even capable of this? I can't -- I shit my swim trunks on the high dive once. But, to my credit, I did do one hell of a cannonball. This Video From the Tip Top of the Burj... | More →

Remember the Dartz Prombron Monaco Red Diamond Edition armored cars we reported on last month? You know, the ones that came with a 'whale penis leather interior' option? Ha, how could you forget? -- you called the company to find out if you could just buy seats. Well, after many complaints from whale-loving organizations like Greenpeace, the WWF and PETA, the company has decided to drop the option. Per... | More →

Happy Friday the 13th everyone! To celebrate this un-momentous occasion here's a $98 Jason hoodie by Marc Ecko. Watch out for black cats and shit! Channel the terror of Crystal Lake in this "Jason" hoodie from the Friday the 13th series by Marc Ecko. Bloody full zip-up hoodie with breathing holes and mesh eyeholes for visibility. Four button flap pockets, flocking, leather straps and metal rivets, rib knit sleeve... | More →

I've never cooked anything in my life except crystal meth and I ended up blowing up the trailer, but I have eaten things before. Including, and virtually limited to: cereal and pudding. What can I say, I'm a health nut. Anyway, the Useful Towel is a $22 piece of fabric with conversions and stuff on it. I think. I actually don't know what they are, it all looks like... | More →

Remember how NASA tried to blow up the moon to get at its molten cheese core? Well apparently they discovered a 'significant' amount of water in the process. Adult swim! The discovery was announced by project scientist Anthony Colaprete at a midday news conference. "Indeed, yes, we found water," he said. The find is based on preliminary data collected when the Lunar Crater Observation and Sensing Satellite, or LCROSS,... | More →

ALL NEW! Star Wars Gangsta Rap: ChroniclesAtom.com: Funny Videos | Atom Originals | Star Wars Gangsta Rap This is a Star Wars gangster rap and music video created by Bent TV. It was incredibly well made except the rappers didn't seem like real mf'ing g's. They looked like a bunch of pranksters and studio gangsters. YES I GOT THE RIGHT TO RAP ABOUT THAT. Check it this little ditty I... | More →

Now THAT'S what I'm talking about. Except I'm not so much talking as fantasizing. God I'd love to be in the middle of those two. Ha -- I guess I AM talking about it! Now one of you put those little arms to use and make me a sandwich. Tyrannosaurus skeleton casts mounted in a mating position, Jurassic Museum of Asturias [wikipedia] (high-res version) Thanks to Kelly, who just... | More →

This is a recreation of Da Vinci's 'Mona Lisa' made entirely out of motherboard parts (plus a frame). It sits in the ASUS headquarters in Peitou, Taiwan and is almost half as good looking as the motherboard 'Starry Night' I made. Which I just so happen to be selling for $10 million. If you're interested shoot me an email and I'll start smashing every desktop in this computer lab... | More →

Just to let this chick know that her LED wedding dress doesn't hold a lumen to a REAL LED dress, somebody went and created the GalaxyDress, which is being touted as the world's biggest LED-covered dress. Yay? Hip hop hooray? Ho -- hey -- ho. I'M NAUGHTY BY NATURE! The GalaxyDress was constructed using 24,000 LED lights and, to add an extra bit of glitter, another 4,000 Swarovski crystals... | More →

Honestly, I bet the old lady ran right into the side of the thing (old ladies are notoriously bad bike riders. *ahem* Grandma -- I saw you hit that bus shelter!). There's a before shot after the jump, but unfortunately the above image has since been removed from Google Maps. I smell conspiracy. I mean, it's not like the old lady asked to have have it removed. Old people... | More →

This is what a toot likes like under thermal imaging. Looks kind of like a ghost, don't you think? The ghost of dinners past! Get it?! Me neither. Also, I totally just made you stare at a man's ass. Women don't do that! Right? Women don't do that....right? Picture Thanks to Kelly, who thought it looked like musical notes.... | More →

Ever wonder what Pac-Man eating a ghost would look like constructed out of a shitload of tuna cans? Well now you do. The internet: it's magic, folks. These shots were taken at Canstruction, an annual food-and-drink can stacking event that I can't even believe exists. If there's a damn Canstruction you can bet your bottom diaper there should be a Geekologie-con. Somebody get on that. Somebody, anybody. Not me.... | More →

Is this how today's children learn the alphabet? No. Is this how tomorrow's children will learn the alphabet? Probably not. Is spanking the best way to teach your children things? My parents thought so, and look how smart I am. Well, you can't physically SEE how smart I am. What you're looking at is called handsome. How Today's Kids Learn The Alphabet [verybored] Thanks to Nick, who learned the... | More →

An unnamed member of the Illuminati recently drove his Bugatti Veyron into a Texas marsh because he's stupid and can't drive. The man, who refused to give his name, was looking at real estate in Galveston. About 3 p.m. a low-flying pelican distracted him as he traveled north on Interstate 45 just south of the hurricane levee near Omega Bay. The man jerked the wheel, dropped his cell phone,... | More →

In 1924, during Mars's opposition (when Earth, on its inner orbit, passes between the Sun and Mars) the US Navy sent a telegram alerting all its stations to be on the lookout for possible alien contact from the red planet. WOW! Turns out that during the 1924 Mars opposition--when Mars would be closer to Earth than it had been since 1804--the secretary of the Navy sent a telegram to... | More →

Type a search query into Mystery Google and you get the results of the last person's search. For example, I searched for a serious medical condition I have, and got the results for "u'v got a face only ur momma could love". Neat? Yes. Helpful? Absolutely not. But don't let that stop you from blowing a few minutes screwing around with it. Remember: every minute wasted is a minute... | More →

This is a super impressive Dr. Mario song and accompanying animated music video, the result of a collaboration between Brentalfloss (of Mega Man, Super Mario World and Tetris song fame) and Parker Simmons. Good lookin', guys. Also, who knew that Link had Hepatitis? I mean, besides Zelda. And Talon. And *ahem* Epona. WRAP THAT OCARINA UP, SON! Youtube Thanks to Mr. Cow, who doesn't put up with other bull.... | More →

Tired of those creepy little gnomes hanging out in your garden? Well how about a creepy little Jawa?! Available for pre-order from the StarWarsShop, the $35 lawn ornament is certain to draw attention to your flower beds and eventually be stolen/broken by punk-ass teenagers. * Crafted in solid resin, this fully painted Jawa is ready - rain or shine * Exclusively available at StarWarsShop * Measures close to a... | More →

This is probably entirely fake and a giant hoax but I don't care because, well, breasts. Also -- don't question my journalistic integrity or I will swell your eyes shut so bad you'd be lucky to squint a nipple. According to German research published in New England Journal of Medicine, men staring at women's breasts in fact prolong their lives with years. "Just 10 minutes of looking at the... | More →

You know those eyeglasses that automatically darken whenever you go outside? I know, they remind me of pederasts too for some reason (but they look great on you, really). Now scientists are working on transferring the technology to contact lenses. Traditionally, these light-to-dark lenses have been constructed by coating a normal lens with a photochromic dye. When UV light hits the dye, the individual molecules expand, darkening the lens... | More →

Youtube user daneboe, the same guy who created the Contra vs. Duck Hunt and Mortal Kombat vs. Donkey Kong videos is back at it, this time with some Grand Theft Auto vs. Frogger action (and bonus Sonic vs. Pac-Man after the jump!). And, as I've come to expect, they are awesome. Not as awesome as that time I drove my Big Wheels through a pile of burning leaves, but... | More →

The Fridge Locker is a little lockbox that you put in the fridge to keep your broke-ass roommate from eating all your string cheese and pudding packs. I need one. No, make that two. I have lots of pudding and I like it cooooold. The metal combination lock keeps your food safe from "Refrig-A Raiders" (poor joke courtesy of the manufacturer). It measures 7.5" wide, 7.5" tall and 11"... | More →

I'd like to take this time to thank all the brave men and women who have served this country. You're the ones that have made the freedom to write whatever I want a reality. My sincerest thanks. Your Geekologie Writer Picture | More →

This Star Ship chandelier was designed by ELK Lighting to resemble the Starship Enterprise but they only call it the Star Ship because they don't want to actually pay royalties. Nice, ELK, I like your style. If you're interested, the classy fixture is available for $189. Plus bulbs. It does not come with the bulbs. You're going to have to boldly go to the hardware store and buy those... | More →

This is a 9-second video of an evil mad scientist pouring liquid nitrogen in his mouth and blowing out vapor. Why? Because he's mad, yo! Even worse than that tea-loving mother with the big hat. Though it may look like this scientist is actually drinking the liquid nitrogen, he says that with a bit of practice, "it is easy not to swallow liquid nitrogen and make cool condensed vapor... | More →

D-Barcode is a Japanese firm that will design your barcode to look cooler than the standard bunch of lines. These are some examples of their work. But it doesn't come cheap! And, despite what you may have read above the urinal, neither do I. It can be pretty pricey, though: $1,500 for a design, and $200 a year for licensing fees. If you want a code all your own,... | More →

Is there any better way to celebrate Veterans Day than playing Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2? Yes, but that doesn't mean there isn't a blow-up doll in a bathtub in the game. And, as a guy who's no stranger to trying to shower around a blow-up doll, let me tell you: I accidentally popped her with a loofah :( Hit the jump for the arguably NSFW uncensored version.... | More →

The $60 Mr. Moustache pillow is a pillow that comes with interchangeable mustaches for the dapper bastard on the front. They're made by Etsy seller salliyenglanddesign and are fun to kiss, even if your roommate is watching. Don't be jealous just cause I gotta man! The delightful Mr.Moustache pillow comes with four interchangeable velcro moustaches (Fu Manchu,trucker,gentleman,& salt 'n'pepper!) and a clear plastic storage pocket on the back! Each... | More →

An autonomous killer Reaper jet recently went rogue in Northern Afghanistan and had to be shot down before it got the chance to go berserk and blast the shit out of the blue team. Eff that! The aircraft was flying a combat mission when positive control of the MQ-9 was lost. When the aircraft remained on a course that would depart Afghanistan's airspace, a US Air Force manned aircraft... | More →

Finally, a search engine designed specifically for finding World of Warcraft information. At last, the internet is complete. No, wait -- it still needs an eHarmony for dinosaurs. I don't need 29 degrees of compatibility, I just want something with teeth and a tail! And, okay, wings. Holy shit I'm a dragon lover. Embracing it! Mrgl-Mrgl Thanks to Random User, who could be any one of you.... | More →

Because I'm just as bad as Verizon, here's a Christmas ornament flask. It's pretty genius and I'm committing to covering my tree with nothing but them. No twinkly lights, no angel topper, just a shit-ton of booze. High-five, Santa! You fat bastard. Cleverly disguised like an ornament, this coated stainless steel flask is here to make the holidays a little brighter (or maybe foggier). Finished with a ribbon-topped twist... | More →

Been waiting for someone to hack a bunch of Roombas to play Pac-Man? Me neither, but somebody did AND YOU'RE GOING TO WATCH THEM OR I'M GOING TO TOOTHPICK YOUR EYES OPEN AND MAKE YOU. The vacuum, long an instrument for chasing cats, has now been turned against its own. What better use for automatic home appliances than to have them chase each other in classic video game style?... | More →

Want to make it look like a LEGO minifig is entranced by the glowing apple on your MacBook? Well you're in luck, thanks to this $14 decal. JUST MAKE SURE YOU DON'T GET ANY ')+encodeURIComponent(t),'_blank','scrollbars=yes,status=yes,resizable=yes,location=yes'))/cool_beluga_whales_can_blow_bu.php">AIR BUBBLES UNDERNEATH IT. That's like a death sentence for a sticker. And a death sentence for a blogger? Pants. Also, standing for long periods. It makes me so dizzy! Hit the jump for several... | More →

Geekologie Reader Melissa has taken it upon herself to paint her fingernails in a different style every day for an entire year and blog about it. Today's theme is bacon, and I'll be the first to admit I would bite every single one of those fingers clean off. And by 'clean off' I mean do you know how hard it is to bite through a finger? Surprisingly easy. Go... | More →

This is a picture of some poor bastard's Street Fighter tattoo that's supposed to depict the directions for performing Ryu's Shoryuken (Rising Dragon Fist). Only thing is, the correct directions are →↓↘ + P, and not ↓→↘ + P. So yeah, that's a whole lot of black ink gone wrong. Although you've got to admit, even if it were correct, that tattoo would still suck compared to my 'Charge... | More →

This is one in a series of holiday Verizon ads bashing AT&T's 3G coverage. I thought they were tacky, particularly since it's not even Thanksgiving yet. ONE HOLIDAY AT A TIME, FOLKS, GEEZ. Where were the Pilgrim and Indian themed ads? Oh, right -- you ran them in July. I only jest, Verizon, and in the spirit of giving thanks let's smoke this peace pipe together. Oh yeah, that's... | More →

This handsome little devil loves both dinosaurs AND Geekologie. You smell that? Smells like a winner at life! Sure you may argue children under the age of 35 shouldn't be reading this website, but I actually recommend a healthy dose of prenatal Geekologie. See where I'm going with this? If you answered, "straight to the OBGYN to try to have sex with pregnant chicks", you don't. Plus you're sick.... | More →

Hey guys, sorry for sporadic posting the past few days, I was busy having the best weekend of my life. Seriously. Of my life. This is the face of some chick that's all make-upped to look pixelated. It serves as a perfect example of how important high-resolution is, because she looks like a scary clown. Now I know what you're thinking: "I'd still hit that like an 8-bit princess".... | More →

I've never played Orgy (larger ad shot HERE) before but I would given the opportunity and the right group of guys. Here's the exciting new indoor sport for people who love people. Orgy begins by choosing up sides (delightful custom) and centers around the "Porron" (translation: "to pour it on") filled with your favorite libation. Object of the game is to see which team achieves the longest trajectory for... | More →

In case you haven't seen it, this is clip from the Today Show's Halloween special in which a drunk Ewok humps Al Rocker's leg plus the ground a little bit. Nice, but if Al were any smarter he would have shot first, if you know what I mean. I'm talking about punting that little bear like a football. Longer, 4:30 video after the jump.... | More →

This is an artist/animator's very clever D&D style character sheet/resume. You can see a larger, more readable version HERE. And speaking of larger, more readable versions: how do I turn up the text size on my laptop? Somehow it got changed and now I can't even read what I'm typing anymore don't forget to call penis doctor about appt. Character Sheet/Resume [superpunch] Thanks to Blastphemer, who once blasted his... | More →

A 68-year old South Korean woman just passed the written part of her driving test on the 950th try. God that's scary. After four years of trying, 68-year-old Cha Sa-soon finally managed to secure the 60 out of 100 points needed to pass the test. The grandmother has spent more than 5m won ($4,200, £2,600) on application fees for the test. Mrs Cha had been trying to pass it... | More →