Oct 26 2009What In The...?: Vampire Mouth In A Can
This vampire mouth in a can is actually a male sex toy. It's the completely inappropriate $45 Fleshlight Sex in a Can 'Succu Dry'. Not even kidding, no matter how badly I wish I was. Now I don't really want to go into too many details, but those fangs aren't even functional. Oh, hold on, I'm getting an email.
----- Original Message -----From: bloodlover3962@hotmail.com
To: The Geekologie Writer
Sent: Monday, October 26, 2009 3:21 PM
Subject: Geekologie Tip - Male Sex ToyGeekologie Writer,
Instead of selling guys on that vampire mouth in can, could you just pass my # along? Thanks champ, love the site.
Edward Cullen
I knew it! Sorry you had to find out this way, ladies.
Have a Happier Halloween with the Fleshlight Succu Dry [gizmodo]
Thanks to Aisha, Closet Nerd, smith, Gable and Root Beer, who don't buy sexy toys, they buy sex tools. I don't even know what that means, but I think it involves at least a 2-stroke motor.
Reader Comments
1. Dirty-Shizno - October 26, 2009 4:43 PM
will it suck my blood or something else lol..twilight kids will love this crap while i punch them in the head
2. Kathryn - October 26, 2009 4:43 PM
That looks so... disturbing. *shudders*
3. Dirty-Shizno - October 26, 2009 4:43 PM
will it suck my blood or something else lol..twilight kids will love this crap while i punch them in the head
4. Closet Nerd - October 26, 2009 4:46 PM
2 submissions posted in one day, Whoo Hoo!!!
5. CHRIS YUN - October 26, 2009 4:48 PM
Edward Cullen blows more than a Vietnamese masseuse with happy endings.
6. twellve - October 26, 2009 4:48 PM
eww
7. Lando-33 - October 26, 2009 4:49 PM
Just hit the jump and saw the cross section. If real vagina's have small, rubber spikes inside, then this cowboy's going anal from now on.
8. Blastphemer - October 26, 2009 4:57 PM
In general, teeth kinda ruin the whole process. Now FANGS!?!?
Crap...that's it!!! All you ladies in line just go on back home...I'm not accepting any more oral sex for the rest of the day! I know, I know...it's not your fault, but I'll be back again at 0800 tomorrow, so just get here early to get a good spot in line. And you can all thank GW for putting that godforesaken image in my head and ruining everyone's fun.
Freakin' fangs....
9. Chuck Nunchuck - October 26, 2009 5:05 PM
Has anyone tried these fleshlights out? I'm thinking of using a pumpkin, it's cheaper.
10. Ollie Williams (www.tylerwarsop.com) - October 26, 2009 5:07 PM
@9
Try a grapefruit warmed in the microwave for 10 seconds. If I learned anything from Good Luck Chuck (other than Jessica Alba is still smoking hot), it's that.
11. barry the baptist - October 26, 2009 5:07 PM
That's great harry, what's it for?
12. naas - October 26, 2009 5:10 PM
zomg a vampire fleshlight, best post of the day GW
13. Gargamel - October 26, 2009 5:11 PM
@10, I would steer clear of fruit, or anything acidic for that matter. I'm assuming here, but if any of that juice got into your peepee hole, that sh!t would burn like hell.
On second thought, that could make it feel like the real thing.
14. Chuey The Rock N Roll Midget - October 26, 2009 5:23 PM
Looks like a pocket P3SSY!
15. Chuey The Rock N Roll Midget - October 26, 2009 5:24 PM
I mean..I know it is...just who would use it. It'd have to hurt!...
16. Blastphemer - October 26, 2009 5:28 PM
Oh great...I rushed them all home before I remembered Kate Beckinsale in Underworld!
Oh well...looks like I'll need to be ordering one of these damn things after all.
17. College student - October 26, 2009 5:47 PM
@14
Because is a pocket (Fanged) Mouth!
18. ಠ_ಠ - October 26, 2009 5:48 PM
i want to kill myself
19. Turbo - October 26, 2009 6:01 PM
edward cullens is such a fag, why does it seem that that episode of southpark making fun of people pretending to be vamps has actually come true...hmm
20. Milkman - October 26, 2009 6:04 PM
I'm speechless, using one is enough of a self burn what more could I say to make fun of those buying it?
21. AW - October 26, 2009 7:01 PM
GW, you totally made my day with the Edward Cullen email. GW = FTW
22. Tre B - October 26, 2009 7:15 PM
Wait wait, You've NEVER used a flesh Light? REALLY?
All the time in front of your computer, really?
23. (required): - October 26, 2009 7:27 PM
Edward Cullen is not a fag.
You're all jealous.
24. Milkman - October 26, 2009 7:33 PM
He's not a fag, he just has deeply questionable desire towards men's buttocks and tubesteaks.
25. bob - October 26, 2009 8:03 PM
Suck it like you mean it.
26. patrickyayo - October 26, 2009 8:05 PM
hahahah
27. Xander Harris - October 26, 2009 9:55 PM
Know what's even better? the gay version is called the Count Cockula.
no seriously, check it out!:
http://www.fleshjack.com/count-cockula/
28. rad to the power of me - October 27, 2009 2:17 AM
Twiards be blessed! congrats the world really is in a verry bad way
29. James - October 27, 2009 3:36 AM
I don't know what's worse, all the twilight retardation or the fact that anything with fangs is now automatically associated with it.
Anyway. Fangs + Junk = no.
30. webchat - October 27, 2009 6:20 AM
i think is a dracula toy
31. Jaded Icon - October 27, 2009 8:45 AM
I guess these themed fleshlights are becoming popular.......it begs the question, WHY?
32. LSDiesel - October 27, 2009 10:36 AM
Isn't there a band called Vampire Blowjob?
Oh wait, it's Vampire Weekend. Hahaha, my bad.
33. BOOBS!! - October 27, 2009 2:02 PM
JAJAJAJ.......a bit creepy. Out of curiosity ,id watch a guy use it. Wait! estupid moment...what's the purpose of the can? Anyone?
34. me.vicky - October 27, 2009 2:51 PM
Did anyone read this and immedately think of THIS post?
http://www.geekologie.com/2009/08/dont_be_afraid_he_murmured_his.php
if anyone reads xkcd frequently, you know where I'm going with this :)
35. one man wolf pack - October 27, 2009 4:28 PM
sweet!
i can whack off in public without looking weird. now im just some guy that likes to screw a can!
36. Vampire Girl - October 27, 2009 8:22 PM
That is so epic. I do adore vampires but the mainstream view of them kills me. I'd laugh if injuries result from this toy.
37. TT - October 30, 2009 10:56 PM
so guys just stick their dick in there?
38. Ha|jimE - November 4, 2009 5:18 PM
Oh my God O_______O
39. adult Toys - December 3, 2009 3:34 AM
The BEST sex toy is your IMAGINATION and willingness to explore your wildest, lustful PASSION U share with 1 SPECIAL person. So save your duct tape for what it was truly meant 4- use your imagination eh? Is oil a toy? lol