Oct 13 2009Waste Of Good Pews: Kellogg's To Begin Lasering "Kellogg's" Onto Corn Flakes
Kellogg's plans to begin laser-burning the signature Kellogg's emblem onto random corn flakes so you know you're getting the real deal. Pfft, what a waste of a perfectly good laser.
Kellogg's embarked on the project to reinforce that they don't make cereals for any other companies and to fire a shot across the bows of makers of 'fake flakes'.
Helen Lyons, lead food technologist at the company, said: 'In recent years there has been an increase in the number of own brands trying to capitalise on the popularity of Kellogg's corn flakes.'We want shoppers to be under absolutely no illusion that Kellogg's does not make cereal for anyone else.
First of all, I'd like to point out that, unlike Helen Lyons, I would make a great food technologist. I don't even know what that is, but if it involves cereal and lasers I AM THE MAN FOR THE JOB. As a matter of fact, I just invented a new cereal just thinking about it. They're called Laser Flakes, and they're jam-packed with real bits of blinding laserbeams. Marshmallows? Hell no -- try cut up circuit boards. NOW WHO'S THE FOOD TECHNOLOGIST?!
Kellogg's will use laser to burn logo on to individual corn flakes to stamp out fakes [dailymail]
Thanks to SONJEETA, who doesn't eat cold cereal because her refrigerator broke and the milk spoiled. I like milk chunks!
Reader Comments
1. anne marie - October 13, 2009 9:19 PM
first?
2. Nut Munger - October 13, 2009 9:20 PM
First!
3. Nut Munger - October 13, 2009 9:20 PM
damnit
4. ~ ,_∫∫ ∕∕-|| Y ([¦¦ ([]) ][-¦¦ ~ - October 13, 2009 9:26 PM
lol my grandma wont even eat microwaved food
5. Iris - October 13, 2009 9:27 PM
I think I might buy some more just cause they've been around a laser, cuz thats as close as I'll probably get to one
Pew!! pew!
6. naas - October 13, 2009 9:28 PM
WTF did I just read? Laser scripted corn flakes?? ridiculous
7. K- logg - October 13, 2009 9:46 PM
This had better be a joke!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
8. HeartAttack - October 13, 2009 9:48 PM
"We want shoppers to be under absolutely no illusion that Kellogg's does not make cereal for anyone else."
Wait...did she...SHE DID!!! She used a double negative. So, if they want shoppers to be under NO illusion that Kellog's does NOT make cereal for anyone else - does that mean that they actually want people to be under the illusion that they DO, in fact, make cereal for someone else?
I smell conspiracy...
...or is that the smell of a freshly-pew-pew'ed bowl of corn flakes?!?!
9. Mr. pig - October 13, 2009 9:57 PM
Oink!
10. ~ ,_∫∫ ∕∕-|| Y ([¦¦ ([]) ][-¦¦ ~ - October 13, 2009 10:10 PM
@8 very observant and lol why would they care if they weren't they're acting guilty probably have some new PR guy strait outta college
11. Andrew - October 13, 2009 10:32 PM
Oh GW you fool, I had to edit this post because I was told you now moderate for 'bad words'. You shmoe you.
bahahaha is this a joke? we're in an economic crisis and yet these silly companies think excess is necessary. Way to go America, show the rest of the world that we know the value of a dollar, and appreciate our fickle situation. Of course we need to know that Kellogs makes flakes, it's essential. F u C k this nonsense.
Tell me what you all think, I live in a small university town in Wyoming, ridicule if you must, and we too are facing budget cuts and whatnot. Yet the new football coach has the balls to demand his contract says the football players stay in a motel the night before our home games, in our own Fu.....ck....ing...town!! WTF? It's like a $20,000 clause every time it happens....is this not nonsense???
12. James - October 13, 2009 10:33 PM
Wow, Kellogg's needs to learn some logic. Lasering your logo onto your corn flakes proves that flakes with the Kellogg's logo were made by Kellogg's. This does NOT imply that flakes without the Kellogg's logo were NOT made by Kellogg's - especially since only some of the flakes Kellogg's makes are going to be lasered in the first place! Maybe this reassures the three crazy nutjobs who actually have conspiracy theories about Corn Flakes, but to the rest of the world, it looks retarded.
Here's a thought, Kellogg's: Maybe the public can't tell the difference between your product and your competitors' products because Corn Flakes are boring and easy to replicate. They're CORN FLAKES - if the name were any longer it would be the full recipe.
13. LSUtriguy - October 13, 2009 10:36 PM
Laser beams and cut up circuit board pieces? ...GW, that sounds suspiciously like robot food. All you need to add is human flesh nuggets and you've got a delicious robot snack!
14. naas - October 13, 2009 11:06 PM
@13 & @14 can you sum all that up into a few sentences? I don't ha...most of the readers here don't have the attention span to read rants like that(it's not that we're stupid, we just don't care)start your own damn blog if you have that much to say
.....in short, what's your point?
15. J - October 13, 2009 11:09 PM
Ok Andrew, put the gun doooowwwwnnn......back away nice and eeeaasssyyyyyy. Theres a good boy.
(how does an article on laser inscribed cornflakes turn into a small town economic crisis and a vendetta V the football team!!?!?!?!)
Instead of Complaining Andrew just jump on an friendly eastern block website and pick yourself up some top of the range human growth hormone, try out for the football team and soak up some of that hotel goodness for yourself. Make sure you tick the 'cornflakes' box on the breakfast menu.
16. naas - October 13, 2009 11:17 PM
COOORN FLAAKESZZZZZZ-AH!!!
srorry, a little drunk tongiht
17. ~,_∫∫ ∕∕-|| Y ([¦¦ ([]) ][-¦¦ ~ - October 13, 2009 11:33 PM
they should make a cereal box that play rock music when you open the box
18. thisisonlyatest - October 14, 2009 12:01 AM
This reminds me of an episode of The Young Ones (1980s british sitcom involving college students who don't attend class).
To quote the grungy character Vivian:
Cornflakes, Cornflakes, Cornflakes, Cornflakes, Cornflakes, Cornflakes, Cornflakes, Cornflakes.
The greatest reason to eat Corn Flakes ever...
19. thisisonlyatest - October 14, 2009 12:04 AM
Oops... Quote ended with the word "Cornflakes."
20. naas - October 14, 2009 12:11 AM
@scurl - what does this remind YOU of?
21. Andrew - October 14, 2009 12:22 AM
I love when drunken rants turn into vendettas against football teams, is life anything less?
I just didn't understand the 'point', as naas put it, of spending money on etching your logo into your cornflakes (oh what a fun little metaphor for life), when the world is much bigger than your cornflakes.
Plain and simple, growth hormone and Kellogs endorsed :P enjoi.
22. mike - October 14, 2009 12:50 AM
@15 exactly what i thought....
is there something you wanna tell us GW? Beep boop bop?
23. count chocula - October 14, 2009 2:15 AM
So, which ones will be rarer? Are they worth more if they're laser etched? Do the laser etched ones carry a different nutritional value than an un-lasered cornflake? If so, how many more (or less) laser etched cornflakes must I consume to meet my daily nutritional needs?
Wait, I don't eat cornflakes, nevermind. I am partial to Lucky Charms. How the hell do I know I'm eating genuine Lucky Charms? What happens if I can't tell the marshmallows are the real deal? Will I die? Oh, crap.
24. Capitalism Rules - October 14, 2009 2:20 AM
So somebody was sitting around a boardroom and was probably going through some type of thought process kind of like...
Executive Brain: Hmmm, we need to do something amazing. We could hire somebody and help out the economy by providing an income for an intelligent person on our team.
Executive Brain contemplating common sense of previous thought: Screw that! We're going to spend all that money on a laser etching device for our freakin' cornflakes! FTW!!!
25. ~,_∫∫ ∕∕-|| Y ([¦¦ ([]) ][-¦¦ ~ - October 14, 2009 4:04 AM
lol i doubt anyone reads those long comments
26. nicky - October 14, 2009 4:05 AM
Jordan shoes 7
Jordan shoes
27. nicky - October 14, 2009 4:06 AM
http://www.aj2u.com/Nike_Air_Jordan_2009.html Nike Air Jordan 2009
http://www.jordansport2.com/Jordan_I_sneaker.html Jordan I sneaker
28. ~,_∫∫ ∕∕-][ Y ([¦¦ ([]) ][-¦¦ ~ - October 14, 2009 4:37 AM
סּﺪפּ
29. ~,_∫∫ ∕∕-][ Ỵ ([¦¦ ([]) ][-¦¦ ~ - October 14, 2009 4:42 AM
there
30. HeartAttack - October 14, 2009 6:06 AM
@ 13, 14, 17, 27 and 28:
tl;dr
31. ashleigh - October 14, 2009 7:20 AM
gaddamn i want me some laser flakes
32. Closet Nerd - October 14, 2009 7:54 AM
If the flake says "Kellogg's" doesn't that mean it belongs to someone named Kellogg, and therefore, you shouldn't eat it, because its not yours.
33. Geekolojew - October 14, 2009 9:00 AM
Must See!!!
http://alturl.com/obg7
________________
34. StupidDooDooDumb - October 14, 2009 9:10 AM
Don't tazer my cornflakes bro...
35. DOCTOROCTAGONAPUS - October 14, 2009 9:53 AM
@39 HA! LOL
36. Momboelitist - October 14, 2009 9:58 AM
Something tells me that there's another motive to this. Now, considering that most people eat cereal in the morning and many of those same people are half asleep while eating said cereal, What better way to make an impression on the subconscious mind?
It's subliminal advertising Dude!
37. Timbo - October 14, 2009 10:00 AM
I do enjoy the occasional corn flake...
38. David S - October 14, 2009 10:02 AM
They should rename them cancer flakes now.
39. Ed Zachary - October 14, 2009 10:11 AM
#41, you're probably right.
And as for the assertion that it's to prove they don't make corn flakes for anyone else...YEAH, because it's not like they can just turn the laser OFF.
Flake FAIL
40. LSDiesel - October 14, 2009 10:35 AM
@9, On this site, we speaks english good.
@19, Is that some sort of joke? You know, since Post is probably Kellogg's number one competitor. If you did that on purpose, nice. I doubt you did though.
I'm wondering myself what the reason for all this branding laser nonsense is. I would understand if there had been many cases of counterfeit cereal, but so far, I haven't heard much on that topic.
Back to you in the studio.
41. nikom - October 14, 2009 10:37 AM
this is stupid.
http://peoplevents.blogspot.com/2009/10/angelina-to-play-sexy-action-hero.html
42. vashsfreak - October 14, 2009 11:54 AM
Lol its all the same brand and off brand taste the same!
43. Leo N. - October 14, 2009 12:07 PM
@everyone saying it's an advertising ploy: what would be the point of pitching their product at someone who has already bought it and is eating it? Eh?
44. Jaded Icon - October 14, 2009 3:09 PM
I'll eat it, for money...
45. SHADOW6 - October 14, 2009 11:49 PM
Marshmallows? Hell no -- try cut up circuit boards. NOW WHO'S THE FOOD TECHNOLOGIST?! ha ha awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! rofl!!!!!!
46. Rob - October 15, 2009 4:49 AM
Most cornflake brands are nutritionally dubious anyway.. the majority of brands are pumped full of additives.. sorry.. "Fortified" with vitamins. Good old fashioned course ground, wide flake porridge oats with a piece fruit is best.
47. Jeremiah's Sexiest Celebrities - October 19, 2009 9:19 PM
This is the most retarded piece of new out there. The popularity of corn flakes??? WTF. Corn Flakes are not popular, healthier than most other cereals, but I can name 2000 cereals with greater appeal and love.
48. garfield - October 20, 2009 1:36 AM
CEO: "Hey guys we got all this new bailout money, what should we do with it?
Bord member: OOoohhh!!!! Lets get a Laser!!@!!!!!!!
CEO: Hell yeah one that will burn things, how can we make it seem legit?
Other Bord member: Lets use it to write our name on Corn Flakes!!!!!
COE: Right now that that is solved... Golf?
49. Muscle Might - November 11, 2009 5:40 AM
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http://www.prlog.org/10409092-muscle-might-review-does-muscle-might-really-work.html