Oct 28 2009Smile Or Suffer The Wrath Of Happiness Hat!
The Happiness Hat is a little beanie that senses if you're smiling and stabs you in the back of the head with a spike if you're not. It was designed by Lauren McCarthy to train your brain to smile, but it would probably just train my brain to leak out the hole it's made. You can't teach an old blogger to smile! Or wear pants to the office. Get an eyeful, Superficial Writer, you know you want to!
Thanks to Lauren, the mad hatter herself, for Pavlovian dogging the shit out of modern facial conditioning.
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Reader Comments
1. Milkman - October 28, 2009 5:55 PM
the coveted first spot is mine.
muahahah
2. yaksik - October 28, 2009 5:57 PM
the happiness hat i wear is made of rubber and makes me have less fun, oh i remember the days i would galavand around the town bringing the clap to any girl who gave me the eye... good times, dont get married
3. *cough* - October 28, 2009 5:57 PM
Fwerst!.....masochists
4. john - October 28, 2009 6:07 PM
Ooooo that sound is creeeepy...
Lauren is a cutie pie though :D
5. JELLYFIHS - October 28, 2009 6:22 PM
She'd get it.
6. Nick Sydney - October 28, 2009 6:23 PM
thats messed up
7. Lee Willis - October 28, 2009 6:29 PM
What, noone has made the obvious Ren & Stimpy reference yet? See the episode "Stimpy's Invention", for the "Happy Helmut" (and of course the Happy Happy Joy Joy song)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fe5j277hjxA
8. The Great Meseum Caper - October 28, 2009 6:56 PM
She let down her gaurd for a second toward the end while being handed a cup a coffee, then she twitched and smile back right away being reminded by the nail. Dude, that twitch is so frekish like she has a biological disorder, I would have been freaked out if I was the barister! Hahah.
9. ButtNutt - October 28, 2009 7:07 PM
Hey Lauren. You'd get it for sure!
BTW, looks like your getting it in the butt each time you forget to smile. I dig it
10. prayforjoejoe - October 28, 2009 8:02 PM
Brave New World and 1984, here we come!
11. flareback - October 28, 2009 9:12 PM
I can see Wal-Mart requiring this for cashiers in the near future.
12. Closet Nerd - October 28, 2009 10:10 PM
If you want a hat to make you smile, how about one of those helmets that hold two beers?
13. zakree - October 28, 2009 11:39 PM
Cheers @ 12! best comment yet - for me anyways
That hat is some freaky shit. Makes me think of some twisted saw shit tbh
14. Crocoduck - October 29, 2009 12:32 AM
@7: Funniest damn thing ever! "They're full of glue!"
15. Kat - October 29, 2009 1:50 AM
wtf, - smiling all day means your cheeks will get tired!!
i dont like it at all.
16. cyberON - October 29, 2009 2:32 AM
trust me I know that grimace - it's not the little pricks to the head... but rather a combined effort to the southern region at a northerly approach.
17. Jaded Icon - October 29, 2009 8:34 AM
There's nothing worse than an insincere smile....
18. Jaded Icon - October 29, 2009 8:35 AM
...except one that is forced by a helmet that drives sharp objects into your skull if you don't.
19. That uncle who did that bad thing we don't speak about - October 29, 2009 8:37 AM
@20 - grammar fail.
Also, the happy hat would make a fantastic sadistic torture device... "Smile and you lose a finger!"
Also, I'd hit that.
20. Gar - October 29, 2009 9:13 AM
reading your comments, i have the feeling that you were looking ... at her head ... , this is really against nature, get back to work and stare at what you are intended to stare at !
21. Ollie Williams - October 29, 2009 9:29 AM
I'd hit it. Twice.
22. Milkman - October 29, 2009 10:07 AM
That girl looks like she needs a good pokin' to put a smile on her face.
http://www.confessionsofamanwhore.com
23. undoings - October 29, 2009 3:31 PM
You know she isn't happy on the inside.
"Get this shit off of me"
24. Mr. Nice - October 30, 2009 4:58 AM
omg, she's a cutie!
25. opals - November 1, 2009 9:06 PM
Surprised Disney isn't requiring these on their "cast members".
26. Zeo - November 4, 2009 12:42 AM
this is something i'd see the joker make