Sad: Donkey Kong Reduced To Selling Soda
Seen here unsuccessfully threatening a blurry old man with the 1-2 punch that used to make Mario shit his pants and cry, Donkey Kong, the once fearful gorilla, has been reduced to hocking root beer at local grocery stores. It's a sad day. Also, those arms look a little precarious. I'm definitely gonna stand under one and have a friend push a bunch of cases onto my head. Then, provided I don't get all brain damaged, sue the grocery store. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?! Cleanup in aisle six.
Donkey Kong Soda Display [pixelatedgeek]
Thanks to Jessica, who once laughed so hard she shot root beer out her nose when a friend was telling a joke. It stung. Like a bee, but different.
-
Pepsi plans to introduce a new line of touchscreen Pepsi machines that, not only serve cold beverages (♫ I like cold beverages ♫), but also help you interact with your friends by buying them sodas. Which, for the record -- I AM NOT YOUR SUGAR DADDY. Get it? Because of al... / Continue →
-
The Can Grip snaps on to any standard aluminum can, providing the drinker with not only a handle, but a coaster. AAAAAAAH, future technology! Plus, they're cheap, only $10 for 6. Now, where the hell can I get some of that watermelon beer in the picture? And, more importantl... / Continue →
-
Bottle Tops are plastic lids that snap onto aluminum cans. You know, because you're too special needs to drink out of a can without spilling. Jesus, ask your mom for a sippy-cup already. However, if you absolutely must, a 12-pack of different colors will set you back $10. B... / Continue →
