Oct 23 2009Man Pleads Guilty In La-Z-Boy DWI Case
62-year old Dennis Anderson of Bumfunk, Minnesota was arrested last year for drunkenly driving his motorized La-Z-Boy into a parked car. Anderson's blood alcohol content was 0.29, which is impressive for a sexagenarian, but if mine falls below that I start to feel sick.
Anderson's customized vehicle, seen in the police evidence photos on the following pages, is powered by an eight horsepower Kohler lawnmower engine, and has a stereo, headlights, a built-in cup holder, and a "Hell Yeah It's Fast" bumper sticker. The ride, however, does not have a seat belt. Anderson, pictured above, controlled the La-Z-Boy via a steering wheel protruding from its seat cushion. The vehicle's headrest was adorned with the logo of the National Hot Rod Association. Following his guilty plea, Anderson was sentenced to 180 days in jail and ordered to pay a $2000 fine. A judge stayed Anderson's jail term in lieu of his successful completion of a two-year supervised probation term.
First of all, I can't believe it doesn't have a pop-out leg rest. And secondly, I can't believe it doesn't have a built in cooler. Where the hell was Anderson getting all the beers? And don't tell me a beer tree because I'mma rent a backhoe and uproot that tree. I wanna know where the beer at. I want the beer. Gimme the beer -- I want the beer.
Man Pleads To La-Z-Boy DWI [smoking gun]
Thanks to Closet Nerd, Occasional Reader, Kevin, B-Rad and Lord Tarl, who would have been smart enough to kick up the leg rest (because they would have built theirs with leg rests) and nap it off.
Reader Comments
1. tree - October 23, 2009 12:56 PM
1st
2. Lucky the L - October 23, 2009 12:58 PM
Everyone who seen the Beer Tree say YEAHHHHHH
3. Pat - October 23, 2009 12:58 PM
3,674,491st.
4. naas - October 23, 2009 12:59 PM
a 'Hell yeah it's fast' bumper sticker!?! Hell yeah! He also has a national hot rod association sticker, FTW
5. Ollie Williams - October 23, 2009 1:09 PM
The NHRA sticker makes it epic.
6. Closet Nerd - October 23, 2009 1:15 PM
I'd rock the hell out of that chair!
But I wouldn't be dumb enough go get caught by the cops (again) while DWI.
7. STOMPY - October 23, 2009 1:27 PM
ya might be a redneck if....
nice, a drunk friday post. Talk about priming the pump GW, this will get me all fired up to go home and hit up some Makers Mark!
8. catch22 - October 23, 2009 1:31 PM
...."Bumfunk, MN" ...
...really?
...i mean c'mon
....really!??!
9. Closet Nerd - October 23, 2009 1:33 PM
@7 Lucky you!
I have stay at my in-laws tonight which means (because they are muslim) no drugs, no alcohol and no pork. Ooooh what a 'fun' Friday night!!!!
10. Closet Nerd - October 23, 2009 1:36 PM
And all you firstards can suck it, because I would be 'super first' because i was one of the ones who submitted the article, so all you firstards can all 'super suck' my ass!
11. jodie - October 23, 2009 1:40 PM
@9 At least your getting out of your mom's basement for the night.
12. STOMPY - October 23, 2009 1:42 PM
@Closet Nerd
I don't remember getting into it with you... although I do go off on rants that I later choose to forget cause I was wrong...
And just to let you know the world has balance, I have to see my in laws tonight which means my dad in law will have SoCo and Lagavalin and Laphroig and Makers Mark with him for us to get shitty on tonight, all while trying to destroy ourselves on smash melee on wii.... Then finish it off with some nice grandfathers port....
13. Closet Nerd - October 23, 2009 1:43 PM
@11 Yes. If by 'mother's basement' you mean '3 BR house that I OWN' then, yes.
14. JADE - October 23, 2009 1:47 PM
Saw this on TMZ like hours ago, lame......
15. Closet Nerd - October 23, 2009 1:49 PM
@12 I was going by Johnny B then. It was in the post about the pregnancy dolls people use to practice birthing babies. We talked about it and squashed it a few days later.
I love playing some Mario Kart on my Wii. I play that shit every night.
Its my new crack.
Drink a double for me tonight brotha!
16. LSDiesel - October 23, 2009 1:55 PM
@15, So you're Johnny B huh? Weird. I went by another name a long time ago, but no one that posts here now would remember it.
17. STOMPY - October 23, 2009 2:00 PM
@Closet Nerd
Johnny B!!!
http://www.geekologie.com/2009/09/noooo_pregobot_gives_birth_to.php
I remember that post, I was pissed as hell that day (angry and drunk), i felt like being mean to someone and picked the longest post I saw and ripped into it!
Those were some good times!
18. Closet Nerd - October 23, 2009 2:02 PM
@16 Yup. I was first introduced to Geekologie (on September 20, 2007) by a co-worker when he sent me this article.
http://www.geekologie.com/2007/09/homemade_25mm_sniper_cannon.php
Not sure when I started commenting though.
19. JADE - October 23, 2009 2:04 PM
@16 & 17 & 18 why don't you guys kiss already geez.
20. Closet Nerd - October 23, 2009 2:04 PM
@17 Yeah, I remember you REALLY pissed me off, but I'm glad we're all passed it.
"You'll never go anywhere in the future if you're to busy focusing on the past."
21. Closet Nerd - October 23, 2009 2:06 PM
@19 I don't know if I'm ready to experiment.... I'm still sober, and I'm all out of lubricant
22. Fitz - October 23, 2009 2:07 PM
Let him free! He's awesome!!!
23. naas - October 23, 2009 2:10 PM
I'm not sober, just sayin
24. shellshell - October 23, 2009 2:11 PM
@17 and 18, shall we leave you two alone to reminisce?
25. Closet Nerd - October 23, 2009 2:20 PM
@23 Hahahaha!
26. jodie - October 23, 2009 2:21 PM
@13 the house I OWN has 5 BR's.
I win!
27. Closet Nerd - October 23, 2009 2:24 PM
@26 Do you want a cookie or a medal?
28. shellshell - October 23, 2009 2:24 PM
@26 it is a mystery how someone as mature as yourself gets to own a 5BRH.
29. Closet Nerd - October 23, 2009 2:26 PM
@26 and BTW, a Barbie Playhouse doesn't count....
30. Blastphemer - October 23, 2009 2:31 PM
@19 - why you cockblockin??? Things were just about to get interesting - had the camera set up and streamfeed into youtubez already to go. Damn!
@21 - no need for the lube....just LOTS and LOTS of chapstick. Jack Daniels flavor would kill 2 birds with one stone for ya.
@23 - started without us again, huh? Bas-tard (can I just pause for a sec to say that this word should totally be added to the ____-tard list)! Just kidding...the rest of us were out getting hammered all morning. Christ...I'm hungover at this point and ready to go again!
@24 - NOT a good idea. The last time those two hooked up, we ended up blessed with a little angel named Scruffy for a few days. It wasn't pretty, and we ended up having to put the little tyke down. No bueno.
As far as the "chair" goes (and its sexYgenarian, AA-bound, occupant) - HELLS TO THE POWER OF FCK YEAH!!! All it needs is a rifle rack, chair nuts, and some chick mudflaps....I'd be pimpin that thing all over the trailer park!!!
31. Blastphemer - October 23, 2009 2:33 PM
Oh yeah...where the hell is the #3 painted on this thing???!!! DO NOT tell me he forgot THAT!
32. jodie - October 23, 2009 2:37 PM
@28 Quite easy....You marry geek and He goes off to work every day. You have a few little geek babies... Then, voila! He buys you a house. No education or job required! See, How smart is that?
And my comment at 26 was in reference to his comment at 13. I thought the comment sounded like a 5th grader bragging so I responded in kind.
33. STOMPY - October 23, 2009 2:40 PM
You know, i got to thinking about the design of this thing, with no seatbelt, the only thing stopping you in an accident is your junk raming into that steering joystick (or in shellshell's case your hot pocket into the joystick...btw, we are still waiting for the pics to prove that you are a hot 23year old...)
34. naas - October 23, 2009 2:40 PM
god damn good riddance to the scruffy kid, not a pretty chapter in the halls of geekologie. I told you he'd end up with a nice fat -b sooner or later.... http://thecpl.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/banned.jpg
btw I live in a basement w/ a bar, no idea how many rooms we have upstairs
35. Closet Nerd - October 23, 2009 2:43 PM
@32 I think there is a job title for someone who has sex with people in order to get things from them, but I can't quite seem to remember what it is?
Can anyone help me out here?
And you comment on #11 (@9 At least your getting out of your mom's basement for the night.) that was soooooooo much mature than my comment.
36. naas - October 23, 2009 2:44 PM
@32 "No education or job required! See, how smart is that?"
uh, that one speaks for itself
37. JADE - October 23, 2009 2:47 PM
ya'll are insane, every last one of you. But you Blastphemer you....well you make me want to slap my dog for some reason. Oh I need a drink
38. jodie - October 23, 2009 2:47 PM
@35 Yes, The job title is wife.
@36 Yeah, I set myself up for that!
39. naas - October 23, 2009 2:50 PM
@38 on purpose? ...why? jumping into someone's sidecar isn't the most honorable way to win a race, you sound proud of this
40. Blastphemer - October 23, 2009 2:50 PM
@33 - good point...should DEFINITELY come equipped with a junkbag (although, that too might just end up feeling like getting kicked in the nuts).
@34 - you live in a basement w/ a bar...WHY THE HELL WOULD ANYONE EXPECT YOU TO KNOW HOW MANY ROOMS YOU HAVE!?!?! And...yes, amen to our little pretend human friend going the way of the commodore 64. I'm sure his new mates over at some godforesaken arian site are loving his tender little morsels right about now. Ugh...have to go wash that bit of vomit taste out of the back of my mouth now.
41. jodie - October 23, 2009 2:53 PM
@39. No.. sadly Not on purpose...
42. naas - October 23, 2009 2:55 PM
@42 okay, I was gonna say..... but I see you know, so okay
43. shellshell - October 23, 2009 2:56 PM
@ JODIE.....so YOU do not own the house but your poor poor husband does.
44. Closet Nerd - October 23, 2009 3:03 PM
@38 no, prostitute is the word i was looking for.
My wife married me when I was broke as shit, over $100,000 in debt, and I have what doctors would call 'a little bit of a weight problem'....
She was having sex in order to put on her "O" face... not to get a house.
45. jodie - October 23, 2009 3:11 PM
@44 I wouldn't call the man poor!
lighten up people!
I actually have 4 beautiful children who take a hell of a lot of work!
The man gets his laundry done , house clean, and meals cooked
for him AND the obvious.
Also, we met when I was 15 and he was 19...so,He wasn't rich then.
I've been with the man for 20 years...So, It's MY house!
jeshhhh!!!
46. shellshell - October 23, 2009 3:25 PM
@33 if you type shell quinn into facebook then i am the 2nd one down (i think) and yes I have a bra on my head. Just to prove that is who I am!
47. Blastphemer - October 23, 2009 3:27 PM
@37
YESSSS!!! I never liked that dog...I'm gonna be honest. The way he'd always lick at my toes in the morning, then go straight for the mouth...yuck! I mean...seriously, pick one buddy. Either one by itself kinda turns me on, but both...well THAT'S just disgusting.
As long as you're pouring yourself a drink...mind pouring me one too? It's been a long day.
PS. Tell your dog I'm sorry, but it HAD to be one of us...and I WIN!
Dog pwnage FTW!!!!!!!!1!
Blob.
48. naas - October 23, 2009 3:34 PM
@46 for someone who came in here to put someone else down when you were the ninth comment, you sure seem a little defensive now. How is it that you started insulting someone else but now you're the angry one?
Perhaps you did miss out on going to school & learning the elementary ways with people where you shouldn't dish it out if you can't take it back, know what I mean?
@47 your picture is sideways, nice bra though
49. Blastphemer - October 23, 2009 3:54 PM
Hey Jodie - I didn't come here to slam you about being a housewife with 4 kids. Kids are awesome and definitely count as a full time job. And you still find time to geek it up with the rest of us...good on you for that one too.
Hell, I'm not even here to slam you for knockin' around a few of the folks that I like around here. We're all big kids now, so they can take as good as they give...and OH MY GOD can they give. Mmmmmm....sorry, was thinking back to baking some cookies.
In point of fact...I only want to know ONE thing: So what's the "obvious"???
Ooooooh, the suspense is killin' me.........
I'll be back to find out as soon as I finish making it put the lotion on its skin.
50. jodie - October 23, 2009 3:55 PM
@49. Naaa.... I'm not angry! I am amused!
I've been reading this web-site for a while now
and rarely make comments because all the
regulars bash the new comers..(at which Iv'e
had many a good laugh!) and now I have
fallen into the same trap. *weep*
I'd say lets kiss and make-up but, I see you have
already planned a 4-some for the evening.
Oh well, I'll just jump into my side car and head
off to the kitchen to cook dinner and grab a shot of
vodka.
51. Closet Nerd - October 23, 2009 3:58 PM
@51 You take it better than others.
http://www.geekologie.com/2009/10/i_see_you_lexus_lfa_crystallis.php#comment-159992
52. Technymphomaniac - October 23, 2009 4:01 PM
HA! Bumfunk, Minnesota.
53. naas - October 23, 2009 4:39 PM
@51 are the regulars hard on the newbs? I didn't think so, plenty of people have come here for a first time with good input & have been welcomed with open arms.... Though I'll admit some of us get drunk sometimes too & take things out of context, but it keeps the rest of your entertained generally so enjoy
On the other hand, if someone says something stupid enough that it can't go unanswered, you're likely not going to get any sympathy or slack on what follows. It really doesn't matter if you're new or not, everyone starts somewhere... What matters is how you present yourself as a commenter. If you say stupid shit, you'll hear about it. If you say funny shit, we'll laugh about it
You mentioned I have a 4-some planned tonight, I'm not familiar with who's coming over, but will you if I put 'Jodie' on the hitters list?
54. jodie - October 23, 2009 8:26 PM
@54 O.K. I'm thru with dinner...
You were extremely condesending through the post...but, the last line
your offer of putting me on the hitters list..well,(I don't know what that means....but,) I added you to my facebook friends???? I suppose I'm desperate for friends? (another shot of vodka) Hey..Check out my son's pirate room..yeah...I made/painted all that.. well..the whole house really. (take another shot)
@50 Thanks for the kind words .. I've read your posts and your a man wh*re!
Thx for pointing out my misspelled words.. (I have absolutly nothing against man wh*res)
Closet nerd... Your origanal post.;
"I have stay at my in-laws tonight which means (because they are muslim) no drugs, no alcohol and no pork. Ooooh what a 'fun' Friday night!!!!"
It reminded me of when I was a teen and my mom forced me to spend time with my 'aunties'..........But, Your a cute angry little thing.. I've read all your posts too...(Yeah I've read 2 years of back posts...I'm currently bored..and drunk..)
Well....You could always take pills with you and claim the red eyes are due to allergies?..AND, you could take a few woman and claim their your wives...See?? all situations can be fixed!
I have no solution for your morning bacon fix...but the drug,alcohol,women problem is an easy fix.. I hope you don't go into withdraws over pork...??? ..
55. jodie - October 23, 2009 9:01 PM
Gee, Now I have to post under a different name....
56. naas - October 23, 2009 11:52 PM
@55Jodie - I am sorry to come across to you as condescending, but in my defense please understand you looked like you walked in here(where?) to pick on someone(closet nerd)without cause or reason & that doesn't fly with me
Nonetheless while that may make me defensive, I don't want to be the condescending prick I may seem to be all the time - so I ask for your forgiveness with my position but also ask you to understand the 'off the hip' commentary that generally takes place here.
Those shots sound like a great idea, cept I'm coddling the bourbon tonight waaah
57. Shawna - October 24, 2009 3:45 AM
That is absolutely fantastic.
Props to grandpa.
58. Blastphemer - October 24, 2009 1:53 PM
@55
I AM OFFENDED!!!
I would never point out someone's misspelled words (unless in jest).
Just kidding...I thought the manwhore bit was funny (especially since, if you knew me, you'd know that I've given up most of the vices of youth and I'm definitely a one woman type of guy...AT A TIME THAT IS!!! No...no...sorry, that was my Mr. Hyde side slipping out again.)
TO EVERYONE - if I should EVER point out a misspelled word in one of your posts...PLEASE be quick to remind me how douchey that is. (unless of course I do it in a clever pun-esque way...then, please just laugh and send lots of $$$). You're welcome.
And now for something completely different...
59. erock - October 24, 2009 1:59 PM
Just for reference, this actually occurred in Proctor, Wisconsin. Not Minnesota. The offending news article has a comment from the editor of the paper.
60. Closet Nerd - October 24, 2009 7:40 PM
@55 Jodie, welcome to the club. If you can take it when you dish it, you're cool in my book.
It wasn't that bad staying over. My buddy came through with some killah, and I was high as a kite when I got there. I think they suspect that I smoke, but they don't know (yet). On the way there, my wife said, "Don't talk tonight." as in, 'don't talk tonight, you are way too high.'
61. jodie - October 24, 2009 8:38 PM
Closet nerd,
How funny! See, marriage is good!
There have been many times when I whine about seeing reliatives I hate and my husband says "Don't worry..I have it" and he proceeds to be the smart, silent type that looks upon them as if to say "Are you ignorant?" He barely replies to them and stares them down...(as I snicker within at their uncomfort) Thats the attitude you should take! Silent, smart and smug!
And, there are times when my love is to 'messed up' to deal...and I have tried to charm his partners... It usually works..but,In the end its all about the laughs!
I do hope you took your Good Lady to a waffel house for the Bacon fix...(yes, I captilized Bacon)
62. Ocelot - October 25, 2009 12:06 AM
What is that device on the front? It looks like some kind of anal probe!
63. dfad - October 26, 2009 7:56 AM
when you are pathologist working full time (60+hrs a week) while raising two kids (that are now in law school/ university) after starting over on this side of the Atlantic, you cant help but roll your eyes, giggle, and think "major insecurities" when hearing someone try to imply that taking care of the house and kids is soooo consuming you have no time for anything else.
housewives are NOT IN BETTER or more attentive to their kids than working parents
64. dfad - October 26, 2009 7:57 AM
when you are pathologist working full time (60+hrs a week) while raising two kids (that are now in law school/ university) after starting over on this side of the Atlantic, you cant help but roll your eyes, giggle, and think "major insecurities" when hearing someone try to imply that taking care of the house and kids is soooo consuming you have no time for anything else.
housewife--does not get paid- but does she pay the same taxes as a working mom?
housewife- deals with kids- stress-----is that the same as dealing with competitors, -people that have equal say and authority as you at work?
housewife vs. working mom.- do both raise kids AND contributes to family income in the same way?
if the husband leaves or dies, is the housewife and working mom in the same situation?
housework is hard work BUT it is NOT THE SAME AS A REGULAR JOB. get over it.
65. Christy - October 26, 2009 12:54 PM
I just saw that the police plan on auctioning it off. sweet.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/8323997.stm
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