Oct 1 2009For Sale: The World's Largest Gummi Bears
I have no idea if these five pound gummi bears are, in fact, the world's largest commercially available sugar bombs, but I do know they look rats and not bears.
The World's Largest Gummy Bear is the lion of the candy world. There is no candy more magnificent or more powerful. This five-pound beast is the equivalent of 1,400 regular sized gummy bears and packs a whopping 12,600 calories.
Its monstrous size is only matched by its enormous taste. The World's Largest Gummy Bear tastes just as delicious as its pint-sized counterpart.Available in several flavors: blue raspberry, red cherry, and green apple. Hand-made in the USA.
Each bear will set you back $30 plus whatever you incur at the dentist. Which, if you play your cards right and flirt with the hygienist, could be a tank of nitrous. Just saying, A-WAHWAHWAHWAHWAHWAH. I feel like I'm on a spaceship!
Hit the jump for a moderately humorous commercial for the things.
Thanks to Gem, who ate the world's largest Sour Patch Kid and then puked sour powder everywhere. Sweeeeeet.
Reader Comments
1. Q - October 1, 2009 2:26 PM
Sweet...
2. rabid badger - October 1, 2009 2:30 PM
Yeah, but will it float?
3. Mr. cow Sr. - October 1, 2009 2:33 PM
Moo (champion of moo)
4. Donna Shepard - October 1, 2009 2:41 PM
But what about this:
http://www.vat19.com/dvds/giant-gummy-bear-on-a-stick.cfm
?
anything on a stick is more win.
5. proteon - October 1, 2009 2:49 PM
You could carve it like a ham.
6. Ham Bone - October 1, 2009 2:50 PM
it has the same consistency as a flesh lite but tastes like blue raspberry ... ill take 10
7. Johnny B - October 1, 2009 2:55 PM
Does sex with 5 lb gummy bear count as beastiality too?
8. Cubicleboy04 - October 1, 2009 2:55 PM
Is this reeeaaal? *David at the dentist*
9. Ham Bone - October 1, 2009 3:00 PM
@7 would it stop you if it did?
10. wes - October 1, 2009 3:02 PM
i wanted to eat it, but thanks for putting your grubby hands all over it
11. Scruff Mcgruff - October 1, 2009 3:03 PM
oh I'm a gummi bear yes I'm a gummi bear! does it taste like actual bear yet?
12. Johnny B - October 1, 2009 3:08 PM
@9
Ummmmmmm probably not.....
Because really, you only get in trouble if you get caught.
It kinda makes you wonder, would you get sticky from the bear, or would the bear get sticky from you?
13. Hawk - October 1, 2009 3:12 PM
Sorry, it looks like a gummy dog to me!
I just want to drop it off an over pass, let it smack on someones windshield and let them try to figure out what they hit!
OMG! You killed gummy!!
14. Ham Bone - October 1, 2009 3:13 PM
@12 wow man thats deep ... like chicken and the egg deep
.... What if uh C-A-T really spelled dog? ....
15. Johnny B - October 1, 2009 3:19 PM
@14
You just threw my whole perception of reality into a tail spin!!!!!
I'm freakin out maaaaaaaaan!!
What if the color "i see" is blue, but when "you see" it, you know it as blue, but i would call it green. (i.e. what i see as blue, you see as green, but you call it blue too)
16. Scruff Mcgruff - October 1, 2009 3:26 PM
to johnny and hamy....your both idiots, i mean seriously with all of the other worldly issues going on such as the end times, and the new antichrist awakining A.K.A Ockto-mom your blathering on about blue's and green's and bears and what-not....STFU, be men, and buy a flesh-light
17. JADE - October 1, 2009 3:32 PM
Ugh just imagine all the germs on one by the time you were able to finish it.
Forget Swine Flu it would be Gummy Bear Flu.
18. wes - October 1, 2009 3:34 PM
WHERES THE WHITE PINEAPPLE FLAVOR?
19. Ham Bone - October 1, 2009 3:34 PM
@14 woooooooh ...
do you think men are lesbians stuck inside of men’s bodies
or lesbians are men stuck in side of women’s bodies?
i have got to get some more of this weed...
20. Johnny B - October 1, 2009 3:35 PM
@16
McGruff,
What the hell are you doing in here?
Shouldn't you be outside helping others 'take a bite out of crime'?
FYI: I don't need no stinking flesh-light..... I have a wife.... and if she is busy, I always have "Rosy Palm & her five sisters"..... which isn't that bad, because after all, we all need to do our part to help control the pet population*
*
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/11/God-kills-kitten.jpg
21. Johnny B - October 1, 2009 3:37 PM
@19
YES!!!!!!! Get out of my head!!!!!
When I was younger, I used to think that I was just a lesbian trapped in a man's body!!!!
You must be some type of sorceror....
22. Scruff Mcgruff - October 1, 2009 3:39 PM
@20 well you see lately things have been hard for me.. i lost my job and fell into a dark vortex of crack and whores and sometimes even crack-whores.. i need money! I'll blow you for 20$ you get the peanut butter and i'll do the rest
23. Ham Bone - October 1, 2009 3:40 PM
@16 oooouuu look at me "I care about the world" and "I watch the news" and "I can read" and "I take a bite out of crime" .... you’re pathetic
24. Scruff Mcgruff - October 1, 2009 3:45 PM
@23 oh yeah well your mother wear's army boots.. i would know i bought them for her aniversery this year... son your mother and i are not actually getting divorced...or dead
25. Ava - October 1, 2009 3:49 PM
Can I blow someone for $20?
26. Ham Bone - October 1, 2009 3:51 PM
@22 i understand god knows i have been in my share of love parallelograms between me, whores, crack, and the beloved crack-whores.
Tell you what I have $40 dollars here for you we have a little time before my flesh bears get here anyway
27. Johnny B - October 1, 2009 3:56 PM
@22 Chunky or creamy peanut butter?
@24 "Your mama has a peg leg with a kickstand."
28. first - October 1, 2009 3:57 PM
FIRST!
29. Scruff Mcgruff - October 1, 2009 3:58 PM
i never thought that anyone could understand the things i have gone through, seen what i've seen, been where i've been...usually your mom but that's beside the point because no i know i can change... stiil need the money to get back on my feet though. be over soon!
30. Hawk - October 1, 2009 4:07 PM
@25 Hell no! I have a gummy bear now!
Take it bitch! Ohh, yeah! You like it! You like it! Say my name!
"Gummy bear... now with cream filling!"
31. Nikky - October 1, 2009 6:45 PM
12,000+ calories?
I feel like I could eat that thing in less than an hour.
World's Largest Gummi Bears eating contest anyone?
32. Spikey DaPikey - October 1, 2009 7:54 PM
A diabetic's nightmare in bear form LOL
33. Mac - October 1, 2009 8:37 PM
It's just like WIlly WOnka!
34. bob - October 1, 2009 8:39 PM
JUICY!
35. Mr. Anderson - October 1, 2009 9:48 PM
Will it blend, that is the question.
36. Jiakasum - October 1, 2009 10:37 PM
yUMMY!
37. Bath Captain - October 2, 2009 12:04 AM
I WOULD NOM THOSE ALL FREAKING DAY!
http://themostawesomepageintheuniverse.com/2009/10/threadless-geek-t-shirt-design-contest/
38. livingjetlag - October 2, 2009 11:05 AM
Amazing colors of barf! Scare your Mom!
39. John - October 2, 2009 11:27 AM
@17: this shit is MADE of sugar, which is a preservative.
in other words, you're not about to breed any pathogens on it, so it doesn't really matter, it can only get stale, you're not going to get sick from eating it, at least not because of bacteria/viruses/parasites.
40. kate - October 2, 2009 4:02 PM
NO STEVE!!!! you know how you are with gummy bears!
41. Marmish - October 5, 2009 10:23 PM
Om nom nom nom
42. mr penis head - October 6, 2009 12:28 PM
as told in the video; also the biggest ass holes come from america and the biggest cock suckers- wankers !
43. Cyber Redneck Robert - November 6, 2009 3:17 PM
You can easily get them at It'sugar store locations or online at http://shop.itsugar.com/category_s/65.htm
They have gummy bear pops, too, as well as sugar themed and other teen girly clothes.
44. Sean - March 11, 2010 6:43 PM
@42 Your probably some 15 year old british kid that no one cares about. It's funny how people talk shit about americans when you know were better then you.
45. Zman - March 24, 2010 7:14 PM
I've been looking for one every where! So freaking cool! They're wet to the touch and impossible to eat in one day from what I've heard!