Oct 15 2009Fail: Drunkest Man Ever Tries To Buy Beer

C'MON WTF!!??!?

you know how many times this has happened to me?? ... Imma going to get some beer right now

LOL

shit how long is it going to take for him to stand the hell up

This guy took something besides alcohol for sure

I looove the laidback walk

Calls a daisy!

One of the funniest videos ever.
I made the mistake of watching this while eating lunch at my desk, and I almost shot PB&J sandwich out of my nose from laughing so hard!!!!

Yeah, can't blame all that on the booze.

LUDES?!?!?! (maybe. )

shite, i hate my firewall

kudos for performing the perfect pimp walk several times though... SLOSHED!

Looks like the guy who played Torgo in Manos: the Hands of Fate took his role a little too seriously and could never break character.

@4 hard to tell. I know some ppl (ahem) that have gotten thaaaaat drunk before without going unconscious. But I agree, something more than alcohol is questionable
@8 he wouldn't be walking into a liquor store on ludes, or walking at all for that matter

FAKE

he never took his hands off the beer.... my hero!!!

ether motherfackers ... do you use it?

granted that has nothing to do with geekdom... it's funny as hell... clearly that dude is way beyond drunk... and as soon as i find out what it was he's on, you can have a vid of me looking like a retard!!!

I know I've been that drunk before.
Last Saturday, at a wedding, I drank over 12 beers, 2.5 shots of tequila, a shot of whiskey, and other things, in less than 5 hours, and i was still ready to party.

Time stamp puts this occurrence at !0:54 AM Amazing. Looks like the ether scene in fear and loathing.

@ 17. Closet Nerd only 2.5 shots of tequila... only a shot of whiskey... what a pussy... lol... JK... i can't eff's with the beer kid!!!

He reminds me of a cute little turtle, when he falls on his back, and can´t get up again

I sure hope he didn't drive there.

It's possible that he could have just been a friggin retard or something

@19 Only 2.5 shots of Tequila because that is all that was left of what I brought with me. I've drank an entire fifth of Tequila to the head before.
And I can't believe they didn't have any Tequila at the wedding!? WTF?!

looks like GW could use a shave/haircut hahaha
im pretty sloshed after like 2-3 beers so i think this guy is a champ for trying, but hes prolly also stoned and on downers as well

gravity is a bitch

HA! Too funny!!

I've been that drunk before, but I never attempted to buy even MORE beer. Gezzz! WTF Dude!?

He looks like he is trying to learn a new breakdance move after he falls on his drunken ass. I just hope he wasn't driving , anyrthing, not even a bicycle.

This man is using Ketamine. Special K. Don't even start with this shit. It rots your brain from the inside out. He will probably always be weird now. Watch what you trust to put into your body. You have to live with that body for the rest of your life. Your friends don't have to deal with the problems that *you* have, after the party is over. I may sound like Dad right now, but if you do Special K, odds are that I will sound like Mickey Mouse to you for the rest of your life, and you'll believe that you're actually some kind of space worm, going into 7-11 for a bit of moon cola.

@11 it could also pass for the evil alien in men in black with 'comedy legend' Will Smith.... and yea i've been there, it takes more then a crate of bud to do that to a man!

Looking for some cheap entertainment while out drinking at a bar?
Place a $1 bill IN the urinal (maybe on top of the yucky breath mint) in the men's room, and 90% of the time, some drunk will take it by the end of the night.

pretty sad

@22 How was the honey moon?

My husband drank a bunch of tequila on our wedding day...
I still remember him puking on the tire holding the hood...
ahh...good times.

also,nothing like getting puke splatter on a $900.00 gown!

This guy was popping. No way was that because he was drunk. His depth perceptions and reflexes were way off. Hard drugs usually make you want to fall backwards and being drunk usually makes you want to fall forward. At least that what happens to me....

Oh, I love the dedication. I have no sympathy for this man, except for the fact that his tax dollars will pay for his hospital treatment when he's shipped off.

looks pretty ketty to me

Dad!!!

I've never been in that bad of shape, but I have a buddy who was a serious alcoholic for a few years. I have seen him and others in that state from drinking alone, but it takes a LOT of practice (and probably a genetic predisposition too).

@31 I don't know... It was my buddy's wedding.
I got married on April 20th maaaaaaaaaaan

@11 TORGO! yay!

Anyway... yeaaaaaaaah I hope like hell he stumbled his way to the store and didn't get anywhere near any sort of vehicle. I wouldn't even trust him in a power wheels.

Although it *would* be hilarious to watch him tip over in a pink barbie corvette then try to get back up without getting out of the "car" or letting go of his beer.

Saddest part of this was the end though. sooooo close to that door. I was cheering for him to reach it.

DEvil ETHER!
[It makes you behave like some village drunkard in some early irish novel...]

I wonder why those other guys tried to help him. He appeared to be telling them he was okay and doing just fine.

lmao so pathetic. love how everyone just walks by him rolling around on the floor, doesn't bother calling the cops or helping

Definitely pills. definitely.

I'll have what he's havin'.

@39 "You're not Portuguese, man!"

Yet another success story about life, values and making it worth while...

Help me out here, guys. I don't drink or pop anything.....and I thought it looked fake, but only one other person's thought so. Everyone else seemed to know, spot on, what this guy was on.

So no bull. Is this real? Seriously? THAT bad?

I WANT AUDIO!!!

This man isn't drunk!

Clearly, someone stole his wheelchair.

I coulda sworn we eradicated polio, but nonetheless, you people should be ashamed of yourselves!

@46, FerroMancer
You should totally try some pills! They are super fun! Benzodiazepines are my personal fave!

I swear, that guy would fly away if everyone would just keep their hands offa him! He's like a modern day Mary Poppins, flying about to help kids in need.
http://www.theawesometrain.blogspot.com/

This dude actually looks pretty metal... go on metal dude! you're our little drunken trooper!

beer anchor

Salvia. For sure.

He had many choices and he decided upon Budweiser. Win for marketing!

I feel like Ive done that before . . . .

LOLZOMG!!!!!!!1!!!

@53
That's salvia only if he took a huge rip right outside the store, then decided it would be fun to try and navigate his way around the puzzle box bahahaha.
This is sad, I bet those guys called the cops right when they shuffled him out the door.

Must See!!!

http://alturl.com/obg7
________________

bwahahahahaaaaaaaa!!!! my favorite part is like 3:15-3:17
you know the old guy is asking if he's alright and he tries to be like nah man i'm coo! hahahahah this really is sad yet hilarious

This could totally be just booze. Some of you have obviously never been drunk enough yet!

Its becoming quite obvious that mr geekologie guy is an avid break.com watcher. It seems like everything I watch on there pops up the next day. Just my personal observation.

dawww.
i want to drink now.
give me a beer!

I was pulling for this guy the whole time. C'mon man! Get up! You can make it!!!
And then when they help him up, they take away his beer. So very sad. After all of that work, that man deserved a beer! Hell, I deserve a beer too!

it's like there's an invisible ninja pulling him backwards...

totally fake. if he was drunk he'd have hit his head when he fell.

i really doubt that this guy's just drunk. and i love how the guy who helps him out starts cleaning the coffee counter.

I hate to say it, but I've been in a very similar condition to what that guy is in, and more than once. Luckily for me, I wasn't at a convenience store.

It seems to me he is definitely on some serious disassociatives, like the guy up above said. Possibly Special-K. For instance you see him in a permanent state of falling back. In his head he's probably screaming "go forward damnit, stay on your feet!" But he keeps leaning like that on the verge of falling in prolonged agony. Same with the time-looped stuck on the floor moment. His face being off tilt from what he's focused on, for instance the cooler handle, is showing his brain knows what to do but his body seems to be stuck doing the tragic wrong thing. Partly because all those tensed muscles keeping him rigid in that petrified disassociative state. Pretty shitty spot, for him, and a hell of an un-fun time. It's almost like torture, especially if you can't drop it off as basically a bad dream after.

So yes, it's probably very real, and yes, it's very probably more than alcohol.

Makes me think of a T-Rex trying to stand back up... lol

look at his head spin when he falls :D

Made me cry I was laughing so much

@53 you're an idiot, salvia doesn't last that long.

he's definitely had more than just alchohol.

also, this is not geek shit, this is fail shit. i can't believe how much non-geek shit is on geekologie these days. i'm really disappointed. seriously, geekologie has gone to shit, like it was sold to fox or something.

HAHAHA!! HE SHOULD`VE SAT INFRONT OF THE FREEZERS AND DRINK THE DAMN THING RIGHT ON THE SPOT. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!

Once that dude was on his back, it turned into a fight for survival.

I would have totally helped that dude buy his beer and get home if I were there. Dude was so relentless, so much tenacity - I was pulling for him the whole time. Also nice for a good samaritan to show up if you ever find yourself faced in a convenience store and unable to control your body. The people in that store fail at a little compassion.

I bet his excuse while he was on the ground was "dude, it's ovah 9000, pounds..."

I always wondered what the Superficial writer looked like.

Pretty sure that's my old roomate.

Whoever said "salvia" had better be being really, really sarcastic.

@54 i dont think its the marketing, I bet is the alcohol choosing for him. and if U ask me, i think it could've been a 12 pack of dr.pepper whatsoever.

You all missed the best part. He's in this condition at 10:45 AM on a Tuesday.

This is why I only get that drunk with my friends around, so that they can help me stand up. His friends failed him.

Part of me wanted him to nap it off right there in front of the freezer. Down, just stay down. You're doing fine.

It takes practice to be that drunk and not puke so most likely he's a full time alcoholic. I've seen a few around town close to that but not as good as that.

i wish there was audio!

I'd like to see the walk to the store too LMAO I bet he started walking when he ran out of booze at like 7am!

It looks to me like a zombie is trying to fit in by buying beer. Notice the lack of bodily control, flailing arms, and lack of posture... hmmm

we've all been there.....

It Looks like the Gravity is Failing the Guy. Could this be a Side Effect of the Chinese Black Hole?

His problem is that he's leaning back too far.

ketamin

@89 Thats what I was thinking. He must of done a rail or something right before he went into the store (won won won won won won won).

That's no drunk! I know a zombie when I see one.

That's no drunk! I know a zombie when I see one.

I want to know how the f.. he got to the store...That's the real story though...

Crap that is sooooooooooo hilarious at the same time awesome

maybe hes retarded...we shouldnt be laughing...
........
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NAWT!!
lmao he got tazed at the end
DONT TAZE ME BRO!

Rag doll physics displayed in the non-videogame world!

he looks like a turtle trying to get up haha

F.ucking pathetic waste of life.

@17... 12 american beers have about the same effect of 5 austrian ones... that stuff doesnt make u drunk, and tastes like shiat :p

It reminds me of the scene in "Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas" when they huff ether right before going into the Circus Casino.

@85 yea, i'm thinking zombie

looks a bit more like he's on acid D:

His head must weigh about a million pounds its as if his neck cannot support the weight, it's so frustrating to watch you are willing him to stand up...

It is not funny. It's a human wreck, and if you find it funny you are just effed up. And I don't care what you say to that, internet people, because I know you don't exist outside the internets.

This guy is soooooo FAKE
Amateur actor.
You suck,bro :)
Loooooser

At 2:42 he tries to grasp an ...imaginary?..object to balace himself, this contininues until 3:07.
I love how the older gentelman seems to ask if he's o.k. Then he pulls his self together, crosses his legs and does a "Think nothing of it" hand gesture.
Because its perfectly normal for people to 'cop a squat' at the citco.

I dunno why everyone's saying he's on drugs. I've been this drunk before and I never touched pills or anything...

I love that he doesn't let go of the beer while he's on the ground. My Man!

I call that a Tuesday

Definitely ether, I bet he was all like 'Why the f*ck is this shop everywhere but under my feet goddammit!'

Is he buying more booze??

It's Weekend at Bernie's all over again!

I don't see alcohol in that at all. I think people are just assuming booze because he's trying to BUY beer. But that looks like drug abuse to me.

ITS A BEER ZOMBIE!!!

He's on special K.

For those of you who said it's from drinking or popping your wrong. Popping definitely does not go as bad as this. It's controllable.

Would that be considered as public intoxication ? rofl

Salvia divinorum is legal in most states, but care should be taken in using it. It is vitally important not to drive while under the influence of Salvia, and a sober person should always be present to make sure the user doesn't cause himself harm while in a hallucinatory state.

Salvia Divinorum is starting to garner attention as an herb that can have an impact on a stunning array of diseases.

looks like a cross between some kinda (or kinda similar to) epilepsy and alcohol poisoning - that decided to get some more beer, disastrously. pretty sure ive been there before, cause on first viewing a strange but familiar shame brewed up.. but i thankfully dont remember firsthand - since i probably made it worse afterward.