Oct 24 2009 The Internet Moon Is A Series Of Tubes!

So apparently the moon might consist of a network of interconnected tubes, like Swiss cheese. OMG the astronauts are gonna eat it! AAAAAAAAAAH I'M SO JEALOUS!

Images have revealed a hole on the Moon's surface that is at least 260 feet deep and may lead to an underground tunnel more than 1,200 feet wide which is part of an entire network of such winding tubes.

Scientists are hoping for clearer shots from NASA's Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter, but the impression so far is that such a tunnel network could provide shelter for astronauts or potential future Moon colonists.

Two words: giant space worms. Shut up, the giant is silent! But only while he sleeps. Kidding, he's a snorer! I'm not insane, you're insane! Plus a jerk.

Newly Discovered Hole On Moon Leads To Network Of Tubes [gizmodo]

Oct 24 2009 Fake, But Still Burn It With Lasers (You Never Can Be Too Safe): A Scary Dancing Robot

I'm pretty sure half the people that sent this in thought it's an actual robot, but being the astute robot slaya that I am, it wasn't hard for me to tell this is just a jackass in a robot costume. Don't get me wrong, I'd still burn that bitch like a witch (or doobie), he just doesn't pose the threat an actual robot would. Or DOES he? *pew pew!* He doesn't.

Youtube
and
Youtube (longer, 9:00 video)

Thanks to Rich the destroyer, paul, KennethJ, Ted, Mungo9000, chris, Albert, Tuggis, karrameg, Steven, hatcher, Big Bug, parking block and Wendy, who actually knew it was a person the whole time and just wanted to scare me.

Oct 24 2009 Wow, No: Guy On Craigslist Seeks Amputee For Halloween Costume

Some guy on Craigslist posted an ad seeking a double amputee (no legs) in order to complete his 'Chewbacca carrying a half assembled C-3PO' Halloween costume. In case you can't read the ad above:

So this might seem strange and really offensive to some but hopefully someone will reply. I have always loved the scene in Empire Strikes Back where Chewbacca has to carry around a half reconstructed C3PO in a backpack because he hasn't reattached his lower body yet. For Halloween I would love to dress up like this. I am big enough and strong enough to both pull off the Chewbacca look and to carry around a lot of weight for the night. So basically I am looking for a double amputee (somebody missing both legs - preferably at the hip) to accompany me as C3PO for the evening. We should probably meet ahead of time so that we can work out the backpack/harness system. There are a few parties that I want to hit and I think we will be the hit of any event we attend. Anyone up for this?

So do you think there's like a special hell for people like this or do they go to the regular one? Because this sounds like a Hell 2 kind of situation to me.

amputee-halloween-costume-craigslist ad [filmdrunk]

Thanks to Coby, Tom, Blastphemer and Spoonman, who don't need human props for their Halloween costumes.

Oct 23 2009 Lies!: Germans Have Broken Speed Of Light

Two German scientists claim to have broken the speed of light. They are liars and should lose their science licenses. What do you mean you don't need a license to practice science? WELL YOU SHOULD!

According to Einstein's special theory of relativity, it would require an infinite amount of energy to propel an object at more than 186,000 miles per second.

However, Dr Gunter Nimtz and Dr Alfons Stahlhofen, of the University of Koblenz, say they may have breached a key tenet of that theory.

The pair say they have conducted an experiment in which microwave photons - energetic packets of light - travelled "instantaneously" between a pair of prisms that had been moved up to 3ft apart.

The scientists were investigating a phenomenon called quantum tunnelling, which allows sub-atomic particles to break apparently unbreakable laws.

Dr Nimtz told New Scientist magazine: "For the time being, this is the only violation of special relativity that I know of."

Yeah, no. Is the universe still here? Then these two crackpots didn't shoot shit faster than the speed of light. And speaking of shooting shit faster than the speed of light: the new Black Jack taco from Taco Bell. Plumber!!

'We have broken speed of light' [telegraph]

Thanks to Allegro, who once ran out for beer and returned before he even left (got hit be a street sweeper and passed out in a ditch for a whole day).

Oct 23 2009 Okaaaay: Kenwood Mixer/Cooker Combo

Kenwood, a company best known for making the aftermarket car speakers in the back of my truck, is making this kitchen appliance. The Kenwood KM070 Cooking Chef is a mixer/cooker combo, capable of mixing shit together and then heating it up to 140°C (240°F) so you can eat it and get all full and then sit around watching TV with your hand in your pants. I've seen you before! And I liked what I saw.

It looks like your standard mixer, with a large 6.7L bowl capacity and 8 mixing speeds, but it also features an 1100W induction heating system that allows you to cook food directly in the mixing bowl.

Temperatures can be set between 20°C to 140°C for warming or actual cooking, and there's even a steam basket attachment allowing you to prepare an entire meal without ever turning on the stove. The only downside is that once again convenience doesn't come cheap, so you can expect to pay around $1,600+ for the Cooking Chef.

I honestly don't know anything cooking except eating pizza and ice creams, but maybe this is a handy appliance. I don't really know how, but maybe it is. But hey, you could write upward of thirty pages about the things I don't know. Why is the sky blue? Why is water wet? Why did Judas rat to Romans why Jesus slept? Kidding, I know all those. I'm sure there's something though.

Kenwood's Cooking Chef Mixer Takes The Stove Out Of The Equation [ohgizmo]

Oct 23 2009 CHOO CHOO!: A Little Superconductor Train

This is some French guy making a little superconductor train out of a bunch of magnets and a cup of magic potion. I have no idea what's in the magic potion but that won't stop me from chugging a whole chalice in the hopes of floating. Plus, it even works upside down which is super cool because I've always wanted to take a nap on the ceiling. I will drool on you!

Youtube

Thanks to Rich the destroyer, who destroys because he's Rich the destroyer damnit, you know who he is!

Oct 23 2009 LED Eyelashes: No, That's Not Weird At All

LED eyelashes are exactly what they sound like: LEDs that attach to your eyelashes and light up to freak everybody out. I would wear them but my eyes are perfect the way they are. Read: eyepatched. YAAAAARR! Now, somebody put my cutlass in my hand and point me toward the liquor store: I'm feeling plunder-y.

Hit the jump for one more shot of the ridiculousness.

Continue Reading " LED Eyelashes: No, That's Not Weird At All "

Oct 23 2009 Indiana Jones Action Figure (Plus Fridge!)

I never saw the new Indiana Jones movie because I prefer my childhood memories un-desecrated, but for those of you that did, and actually liked it, there's this $175 Kingdom of the Crystal Skull action figure. And it comes complete with the lead-lined fridge Indy uses to survive the nuclear blast! What an accessory! Unfortunately, it doesn't come with that fake apple, which is a shame because that was the only reason I was going to buy it. Oh, and why Indy's face looks like an orc from Lord of the Rings is beyond me. That ring belongs in a museum!

Product Site
via
Commemorate The Worst Indiana Jones Scene With This Action Figure [nerdapproved]

Thanks to tom and Mark, who like a little lead in their vegetables because they want to be retarded.

Oct 23 2009 Man Pleads Guilty In La-Z-Boy DWI Case

62-year old Dennis Anderson of Bumfunk, Minnesota was arrested last year for drunkenly driving his motorized La-Z-Boy into a parked car. Anderson's blood alcohol content was 0.29, which is impressive for a sexagenarian, but if mine falls below that I start to feel sick.

Anderson's customized vehicle, seen in the police evidence photos on the following pages, is powered by an eight horsepower Kohler lawnmower engine, and has a stereo, headlights, a built-in cup holder, and a "Hell Yeah It's Fast" bumper sticker. The ride, however, does not have a seat belt. Anderson, pictured above, controlled the La-Z-Boy via a steering wheel protruding from its seat cushion. The vehicle's headrest was adorned with the logo of the National Hot Rod Association. Following his guilty plea, Anderson was sentenced to 180 days in jail and ordered to pay a $2000 fine. A judge stayed Anderson's jail term in lieu of his successful completion of a two-year supervised probation term.

First of all, I can't believe it doesn't have a pop-out leg rest. And secondly, I can't believe it doesn't have a built in cooler. Where the hell was Anderson getting all the beers? And don't tell me a beer tree because I'mma rent a backhoe and uproot that tree. I wanna know where the beer at. I want the beer. Gimme the beer -- I want the beer.

Man Pleads To La-Z-Boy DWI [smoking gun]

Thanks to Closet Nerd, Occasional Reader, Kevin, B-Rad and Lord Tarl, who would have been smart enough to kick up the leg rest (because they would have built theirs with leg rests) and nap it off.

Oct 23 2009 Dirt Slingers!: Apple Ad Taking On Windows 7

This is a just-released Apple ad making fun of Microsoft's new Windows 7. I thought it was smarmy and, despite not knowing what smarmy means or if it's even a real word, spell check didn't say anything so I'm going with it. Also, enough with the dirt slinging, Apple. Geekologie is 100% composed on a PC. But Apple, if you're reading this: I'd be willing to try writing Geekologie on a high-end Macbook Pro. Just sayin' (contact me for shipping address).

Youtube

Thanks to Kevin, who doesn't take sides because the likes the way fence feels on his butt.

Oct 23 2009 Geekiest Game Of Scrabble Ever Played?

First of all, acronyms aren't allowed in Scrabble. Or proper names. Making this 'the least played by the rules' game of Scrabble ever. That aside, is it the geekiest? Maybe -- you be the judge. I will be the jury. Except, instead of paying attention and taking notes, I'll be doing a Sudoku. You hear that, court system? STOP CALLING ME FOR JURY DUTY! I have the attention span of

Scrabble "Geek style" [flickr]
via
The Geekiest Scrabble Game Ever! [walyou]

Oct 23 2009 I See You!: Lexus LF-A Crystallised Wind

The Lexus LF-A Crystallised Wind is a car made entirely of acrylic glass. I know, I thought it was real crystallized wind too. LIARS! Anyway, I don't recommend stuffing any dead bodies in the trunk. I do recommend wearing pants.

Hit the jump for another shot of the car with some lighting effect that makes it look like ice.

Continue Reading " I See You!: Lexus LF-A Crystallised Wind "

Oct 22 2009 Geekologie Review: Blood Energy Potion

I drank this stuff, it was good. It's thick and tastes like Hawaiian Punch concentrate. They recommend you put it in the microwave for 14 seconds to heat it up to body temperate. I did that. That made it warm. It was weird warm. Like licking a fresh wound, but sweeter. I think it gave me superhuman strength and speed but I won't know for sure till after I whip this nancy Edward Cunnilingus' pale ass.

Synthetic blood substitute. The fruit punch flavor packs 4 hours of energy along with iron, protein, and electrolytes. Not only does Blood Energy Potion have a similar nutritional makeup to real blood, but it has the same color, look, and consistency. Get real blood nutrients without that real blood taste! Re-sealable transfusion bag style pouch. Contains no real blood, just synthetic!

A 4-pack will set you back $16 but they get cheaper the more you buy. It's definitely a cool product for Halloween and certainly an attention getter. Not as attention getting as actually biting a stranger, but why risk the disease? Because you're crazy, that's why. I say do it. Bite that old lady. BITE HER NOW!

Product Site (order before 3PM tomorrow, October 23rd for Halloween delivery)

Oct 22 2009 I'd Rock It: The Three Teen Wolf T-Shirt

It was only a matter of time before somebody smoked enough weed to realize how cool a Three Teen Wolf Moon t-shirt would be, and here it is. Available from 80's Tees for 20 silver bullets, the shirt is sure to be a hit at parties. Mostly sausage parties, but still, you might make some friends.

Product Site

Thanks to chris, who howls at the moon to attract girls. He's a furry lover!

Oct 22 2009 I'm A Ninja, I Can Do That: Crazy Trampolining

This is a video of Oli Lemieux doing some wild ass trampolining plus wall walking and other ninja-y stuff while practicing for a Cirque du Soleil show. It's pretty cool but I could do it all twice as good but I would never film it because I'm modest. Also, the most handsome man on the planet.

Youtube

Thanks to The Gurr, MoD, Asbo and Jennie, who once jumped so high on a trampoline they showed up on radar and the government shot missiles at them.

Oct 22 2009 DO NOT WANT (To Pet): Chinese 'Cat Girl'

Normally I love making fun of other people's misfortune, but it's sad when it's a six year old girl. Hopefully this is fake though cause it's coming from The Sun. Although, this IS China we're talking about here, which is notorious for freaky cat shit.

Li Xiaoyuan, from Fengkai in southern China, had a small birthmark on her back just months ago, which has since grown to cover her entire back and parts of her arms and face, The Sun reports.

"None of the other children want to play with her, they are calling her cat-girl and are really mean."

A surgeon at Zhaoqing City Dermalogical l Hospital in China's Guangdong province said Li Xiaoyuan may have a rare skin disease that makes normal moles run amok.

I swear, I can't stand it when moles run amok. You know what you need to do? Pour gasoline down all their holes then light that shit. BOOM! Woops -- must have found the gas line. Remember folks: call before you dig.

Chinese 'cat-girl' baffles doctors [ninemsn]

Thanks to Sam, Turtle Boy.

Oct 22 2009 BSoD Belt Buckle: A Problem Has Been Detected And Your Pants Have Been Shut Down To Prevent Damage To Your Privates

This is a blue screen of death belt buckle. It costs $17 and is currently on back order until November because everybody wants one for Halloween so they can dress up as people with novelty belt buckles. Pfft, like that'll win the costume contest.

The Blue Screen of Death (also known as a stop error, BSoD, bluescreen, or Blue Screen of Doom) is a colloquialism used for the error screen displayed by some operating systems, most notably Microsoft Windows, after encountering a critical system error which can cause the system to shut down to prevent damage.

Let's just hope the wearer of this sexy geek belt has a bit more luck!

How can you tell if a geek belt is sexy or not? Because looking at this one I wouldn't have known. But now that I do I'm gonna wear like four around my head like karate headbands. Sweep the leg, GW!

Product Site

Thanks to naas, who doesn't need a belt because boxers have elastic bands.

Oct 22 2009 For Your Internal Operating System: Japanese Burger Kings Selling Windows 7 Whoppers

Because there's no better way to market a new operating system, Burger Kings in Japan are selling limited edition Windows 7 Whoppers to coincide with the release of the operating system today. What is a Windows 7 Whopper? Try seven mostly-beef patties stacked high on a sesame seed bun with lettuce, tomato, onions, pickles, ketchup and mayonnaise. What, no cheese? But I want to die! 30 customers a day will be able to buy the whopping Whopper for ¥777 ($8.55), but after that it'll set you back a staggering ¥1,450 ($17.10). Which, I'm sorry, but no way. $17 for a burger? THOSE BETTER BE SNOW LEOPARD PATTIES. See what I did there? God I'm L337.

Burger King selling a Windows 7 Whopper in Japan [engadget]

Thanks to nichire, Jamez, and Billy Avenue, who could each eat two of these and still down a chocolate milkshake and some onion rings.

Oct 22 2009 Impressive: Ghostbusters Theme Multi-Track

This is a video of a curly haired (and sometimes shirtless) Matt Mulholland performing the Ghostbusters theme song by combining 14 separate tracks of him making noises. Now I know we've already seen examples of multi-tracking before, but I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night, know what I'm saying? I'm saying there was blood on the mattress and they wouldn't give me a discount. Pay me, Marriott.

Youtube

Thanks to Edd, who sleeps in the car on long road trips to save money.

Oct 22 2009 Retractable Speed Bump Awards Slow Drivers

The Intelligent Bump is a speed bump that lowers itself if a driver is under a predetermined speed. It has no effect on me though because I drive a hovercar from the future.

Dubbed the Intelligent Bump, this clever system by Mexico-based Decano Industries actually retracts if you're "going slow enough", rewarding cautious drivers. These bumps are priced at an affordable $1,500 each.

"The system uses metal plates that measure the force of an impact against them. Cars going slow enough will cause the plates to lower, though any faster and the speed bump will remain where it is."

Listen, I hate speed bumps as much as the next person, but if I find out my state government is blowing $1,500 a pop for the things I'm gonna stop paying taxes. And by stop I mean never start. I'm flying under the radar, whee! Oh -- now I'm barnstorming! NNNNNNEEEEEAAAROOOOOOOM.

Hit the jump to see an animation of the bump in action that may or may not have contracted out to a kindergarten art class.

Continue Reading " Retractable Speed Bump Awards Slow Drivers "

Oct 22 2009 You're Doing It Wrong: Confidential British Anti-Leak Documents Leaked Online

Apparently a 2,400 page British document outlining how to prevent government officials from leaking confidential information to the internet has been leaked onto the internet.

The 2,400 page Defense Manual of Security, authored by the Ministry of Defense to help high-ranking military and defense officials keep documents safe from leaks, was published on Wikileaks, a Web site designed for anonymous leaks of documents from governments and other organizations, The Daily Telegraph reported Monday.

"Leaks usually take the form of reports in the public media which appear to involve the unauthorized disclosure of official information (whether protectively marked or not) that causes political harm or embarrassment to either the U.K. Government or the Department concerned," the document reads in its "Leaks of Official Information" section.

That's funny. Now I'm not saying I would have leaked the document as well, but I'll be damned if I'm reading 2,400 pages of jibber-jabber. Better to let the media summarize it for me. Hire me, government!

British anti-leaking document leaked [redorbit]

Thanks to Lee, who doesn't leak anything but beer.

Oct 21 2009 WoW Tankard O' Terror To Be Real Product

I'm not allowed to play World of Warcraft anymore because my mom canceled my account but I'm still buying this Tankard O' Terror stein because I want to brain my enemies with it. For those of you not the know, the Tankard O' Terror is a mace weapon dropped by Coren Dinebrew during the 2009 BrewFest event in the game.

Those guilty of emaciating their bodies by whiling away months of life in World of Warcraft are probably going to have a little trouble with the heft of this 4 lb tankard, especially if it is filled to its two-liter capacity (which will add another 4.5lbs to the overall weight).

The tankard will cost $50 and be available in January. Plus, I heard chugging the full stein provides +10 drunkeness. Better equip your Pukey Boots!

Product Site
via
Tankard O'Terror Replica Stein, a Manly Vessel For Uber-geeks [uberreview]

Oct 21 2009 Stop Motion Of Papercraft Link Construction

This is a little stop motion video of a papercrafter constructing a Link model. The model is amazing, and so is the build, so you should check it out. But you shouldn't check out library books that will get you blacklisted. Or women on the street. BECAUSE I AM AGAINST THE OBJECTIFICATION OF WOMEN. Women are people too, you know. Except those crazy bodybuilding ones. They're wild animals.

Youtube

Thanks to Jessica, who once made a papercraft model of the Geekologie Writer and then burn it as an effigy. Gee, thanks.

Oct 21 2009 Good Job: Guy Builds Giant LEGO Castle

This is the Hoernersburg Castle, a LEGO castle constructed by NoName Hoerner because castles are awesome and he must have known I want to live in one. You can see a hi-res cross section of the castle HERE but it's really worth going to the website to see it in all its detail and read the little story he made up about it (plus videos). He even built a little town full of peasants down below the castle. So, in the metaphor of Geekologie, those people are you. Me? I'm the prince. The handsome one. That slays dragons. With his penis. You hear that, Puff? I'm coming for you! (Double entendre FTW)

Hoernersburg Lego Castle

Thanks to Matty, who can live in my castle provided he kill any dragons that may attack and tell everyone I did it.

Oct 21 2009 Anvil Launching: The World's Manliest Sport

Anvil launching is probably the world's manliest sport in front of great white hunting with a soggy pencil. I just happen to excel at both. And this is Gay Wilkinson, the self proclaimed anvil launching world champion about to send one skyward. Hit the jump for a video of the anvil in action (skip to 1:20 for the actual launch), then get out there and shoot your own dangerously heavy objects in the air. Just remember: what goes up is probably going to come down on a bystander. Happy launching!

Hit it for the video.

Continue Reading " Anvil Launching: The World's Manliest Sport "

Oct 21 2009 Oh Wow: Illegal Alien Halloween Costume

This is a Illegal Alien Halloween costume that's just been pulled from Target and Amazon. I wouldn't wear it, and not just because masks make it harder to drink.

Many are outraged over an "Illegal Alien" costume that depicts its wearer as a space alien in a prison jumpsuit brandishing a giant "green card." Understandably, those concerned over immigrant rights see this as a swipe at the Hispanic community.

The products official description reads:

"He didn't just cross a border, he crossed a galaxy! He's got his green card, but it's from another planet! Sure to get some laughs, the Illegal Alien Adult Costume includes an orange prison-style jumpsuit with 'Illegal Alien' printed on the front, an alien mask and a 'green card.'"

Listen, I promised myself I wouldn't use this blog to push my own political agenda on you folks, so I'm not going to. But I am going to use it to shamelessly self promote and sell some t-shirts. So buy my book and some t-shirts, damnit.*

*Book and t-shirts possibly coming soon. Maybe.

'Illegal Alien' Costume Being Pulled from Some Store Shelves [hispanicbusiness]

Thanks to Alex, who has been a pirate four years running and is going for a fifth. Of rum. HIYO!

Oct 21 2009 Why Didn't I Think Of That?: Bacon Jam

Bacon Jam is jam made out of bacon. It is probably man's crowning achievement and goes great on toast alongside some super-runny eggs. I know this because I have a knack for choosing incredible food pairings. You ever tried peanut butter and jelly? That shit's legit!

.....what the heck is bacon jam?...

It is something we've been cooking up for a couple of years now on our trailers and for our burgers

.......we take a big bunch of really really good bacon, and render it down...add a bunch of spices..onions, etc..and let it simmer for about 6 hours...give it a quick puree, and blast chill it...and you have bacon jam..

8oz jars will set you back $17 including shipping and probably won't even last a day at the rate you go through bacon. Admit it, glutton. Order two.

Product Site
via
Bacon Jam: It's Bacon You Can SPREAD [topcultured]

Thanks to Bay Kon, mike469x, Bolleke, Aisha, Alejandra, Leslie, James, Spikey DaPikey, and anyone else who sent this in becausebecause searching 'bacon' in my tip box nets 1,900 results.

Oct 21 2009 Holy Amazing: POP-UP Book LEGO Scene

This is a LEGO scene constructed in the form of a pop-up book. It's absolutely amazing and has a giant pagoda that folds together in the middle. I couldn't even imagine building something so impressive so I'm just going to hang my head in shame and cry into this pile of DUPLO blocks. Yes, DUPLO -- I'm not allowed to play with LEGO. IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO CHOKE ON THEM THEN WHY DO YOU MAKE THEM LOOK LIKE CANDY?!

Youtube

Thanks to david and Lee, who once popped out of a pop-up book at a birthday party and scared a bunch of children.

Oct 21 2009 NASA Testing First New Rocket In 30 Years

NASA, an organization that has actually convinced itself they put men on the moon despite it being all staged in Hollywood, is now testing a new rocket. The phallic booster is the first new design to come out of agency since 1981. Which, incidentally, is the year I was born. What does all this mean? I'm 28!

The rocket is Ares I-X -- a suborbital prototype for the Ares I rocket NASA plans to use to launch its shuttle successor, the Orion spacecraft. Currently the world's tallest booster, the Ares I-X rolled out to the launch pad early Tuesday and is slated to blast off Oct. 27 at 8 a.m. EDT (1200 GMT) on a short demonstration flight.

"The Ares I-X is going to fly straight up and straight out," said NASA commentator George Diller as the 327-foot (100-meter) tall rocket began moving toward Launch Pad 39B at the Kennedy Space Center in Florida. "During that time we'll be testing the stage separation to determine how well the first stage separation motors perform, as well as the performance of the booster itself, namely the parachutes and other apparatus that will deploy."

The $445 million rocket's rollout comes on the eve of a final report from an independent committee appointed by the White House to review NASA's plans for future human spaceflight.

You want me to tell you about the future of human spaceflight? Cause it goes like this: The Geekologie Writer builds a rocketship in the shed behind his house and blasts himself into the sun. Everyone is so sad rockets are banned for ever. Then everybody dies because you couldn't colonize Mars. The end.

NASA Unveils Ares 1-X Rocket for Historic Test Flight [foxnews]

Thanks to joseph, who tied his little brother to a bunch of fireworks and was just about to light the fuse when his mom caught him and yelled at him for having matches.

Oct 21 2009 Tiny North American Dino Discovered, I Want

You see that handsome little devil Steven Spielberg's holding? That's a Fruitadens haagarorum, the smallest dino ever discovered in North America. I want a million of them. No, even more than that.

The newly identified creature weighed less than two pounds and stood about 4 inches tall. From head to tail, it measured a little over 2 feet long, said Luis Chiappe, director of the Dinosaur Institute of the Natural History Museum of Los Angeles County where the fossil bones are stored.

It likely ate plants and hunted bugs during the late Jurassic period, about 150 million years ago. It was so tiny and fast that it probably darted between the legs of larger dinosaurs, researchers said.

The dinosaur "would have looked like a roadrunner on steroids," Chiappe said.

Oh man, can you actually imagine a roadrunner on steroids? That poor coyote.

Fossil bones of smallest dinosaur [wtnh]

Thanks to zerv, who asked if I have a size cut off which was rude because I DON'T DISCRIMINATE AGAINST LITTLE PEOPLE WHY WOULD I DINOS?

Oct 20 2009 It's About Time: An Affordable 3-D Copier

You see that guy in the picture? You know what he's doing? He's making a 3-D copy of his genitals because his office just installed the new ZPrinter 350 3-D copier. And now you can too for the low, low price of $25,900! The device can recreate any object put into it's scanning bay out of plastic. Unfortunately, the thing can only copy units smaller than 8 x 10 x 8 inches, so mine's out. HIYO!

3D copier puts normal copy machines to shame [dvice]

Oct 20 2009 I Would Munch Those Dots: A Pac-Man Cake

This is a Pac-Man cake created by CupcakeJonas for an undisclosed Pac-Man fan. Some suspect it was Pac-Man himself but that's ridiculous because....actually, I bet it was him. Dude does have a big mouth and love sweets. That's why he doesn't have any teeth! Now I have no idea if that Pac-Man arcade cabinet is actually edible, but I would 100% take a bite out of it anyways. I don't care if it has razor blades in the middle, I am curious and not a cat!

Incredible Pacman Arcade Game Cake Design Makes Mouths Water [walyou]

Oct 20 2009 Haha!: Home Shopping Network Wii Accident

This is a video of some idiot on the Home Shopping Network trying to sell a Wii bundle that includes the console and 15 piece of shit Wiimote attachments for a staggering $330. He doesn't do a good job, which brought great joy and happiness to my life. Just watch, you can probably guess what happens. Unless you guessed, "he stabs himself with a samurai sword or falls off a ladder", in which case, God you suck at guessing.

How not to play Wii, courtesy of the Home Shopping Network [pluggedin]

Thanks to jessica, who once put her fist through the television playing Wii boxing but it's okay because it wasn't a flatscreen.

Oct 20 2009 Scientists Want to Develop Robotic Cheetah To Chase You Down, Dine On Your Carcass

Because life is progressively becoming a series of nightmares, scientists want to develop a robot that mimics the movement of a cheetah so they can chase us down and maul us to death. Why did I even get out of bed this morning? Oh, right. Well why did I even wake up this morning?

Professor Sangbae Kim designer of the Stickybot and a Robotic designer at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. Is trying to understand how he can replicate natural animal mechanisms by creating a robot inspired by the cheetah.

The idea is to build a prototype robot from a construction of lightweight carbon-fiber-foam that will then be able to match the cheetah's speed of 70 miles per hour.

Over the next 18 months, Kim and four other MIT graduate students are going to start constructing the prototypes. Starting with a computer model of the robotic cheetah to establish the optimal limb length, weight, gait and torque of the hip and knee joints.

It's an ambitious project. Current wheeled robots are efficient, but can be slow in rough terrains. For instance, iRobot's PackBot, which is used by the U.S. military, can only travel at speeds of up to 5.8 miles per hour.

I'm sure this seemed like a good idea to somebody at some point, but it's not. Like I don't have enough to worry about without a 70 MPH cheetah-bot running around. Also, like four children. And you wonder why daddy drinks in bed all day!

Cheetah Inspired Robot [geekygadgets]

Thanks to Excaliber, who I will use to slice through these bastards like room temperature butter.

Oct 20 2009 No, You're The Trashcan: An R2-D2 Hoodie

This is an R2-D2 hoodie made by Etsy seller frosti. It's available right now for $92 but you better hurry before I finish writing this post because I'm going to buy it as soon as I'm done. Haha, you never stood a chance! Just kidding, I don't have $92 and the seller just informed me she doesn't accept unicorn semen. That shit's better than gold!

Hit the jump for a Robin (of Batman's homosexual lover fame) hoodie made by the same seller.

Continue Reading " No, You're The Trashcan: An R2-D2 Hoodie "

Oct 20 2009 I'd Wear Them: Nikes Made Out Of Junk

Gabriel Dishaw is an artist who works primarily in the medium of junk. Like rusty metal sprockets and nuts and bolts. And among other sculptures, he creates shoes with these things.

This piece was a continuation of my previous piece JUNK DUNK (Right) I wanted to attempt this approach again, with a more refined and detailed outcome. I used very little wire and more glue to keep the piece more clean, and less bulky. I also added new details, a hinged tongue and nike logo's on both the tongue and back of the shoe. On previous models I used a real nike sole to build of off. With this piece I started from scratch and build the sole from circuit boards.

Impressive, Gabriel. But there is no doubt in my mind I could dunk in these things. And I don't care if they do cut off all my toes off and give me tetanus -- I don't like standing or talking anyways! I'm more of a lie down and type kind of guy anyways. What? YES I'M STILL IN BED.

Hit the jump for a bunch more shots plus three other Nike models Gabriel has created.

Continue Reading " I'd Wear Them: Nikes Made Out Of Junk "

Oct 20 2009 Marc Ecko/Timex Star Wars Watches Coming To Compliment Existing Line Of Hoodies

As you already know because you read Geekologie religiously and don't get news from anywhere else (nor should you) Marc Ecko already has a line of Star Wars themed hoodies out. And now he's teaming up with Timex to release a series of Star Wars watches.

This post on The Marc Ecko Blog actually dates back to July, but it shows off a couple of watch designs including a Stormtrooper model and a Boba Fett one, which each feature a mixture of metals, rubber and nylons as well as sounds and light-up 'Indiglo' features. Pricing and availability info is still scarce, though the blog post does mention "Holiday 2009″ so if there's a Star Wars fan on your Christmas list you might want to keep an eye out for them.

Let me get a show of hands for who would wear one of these. Okay, now a show of hands for who would rock a Geekologie t-shirt. Hell yeah you would! And you know what? You'd look gooooood. Doable even.

Marc Ecko And Timex Teaming Up For A Line Of Star Wars Themed Watches [ohgizmo]

Oct 20 2009 Fight!: Mortal Kombat Vs. Donkey Kong

This is a short video of Scorpion from Mortal Kombat playing Donkey Kong. I don't want to ruin it for you so I'll just tell you a funny story instead. I went to the zoo last week and saw two tortoises going at it. I was gonna stick around to watch because I'm a pervert but they were taking foreeeeever. THAT IS NOT HOW YOU WIN RACES.

Youtube

Thanks to naas, who, GET OVER HERE! I'm serious, I need a hug.

Oct 20 2009 Skateboard + Keyboard = Skatekeyboard?

Artist Tobias Leingruber (another nevernude) had a dream. Unfortunately he couldn't remember it when he woke up so he glued a keyboard to a skateboard. The end.

I am not really sure if one can actually balance on this and I am not aware if this piece of artwork has hidden ports to which you can connect to the PC. Either way, it seems like a keyboard that you can't use, and a skateboard that you can't ride on. However, it certainly underlines the importance of fun and frolic in an otherwise dreary lifestyle that we have come to live.

I don't care what they say, I would totally ride this thing. And you know what? I would kick flip its caps lock off. *wicka-pow* THERE I THINK I GOT IT!

THANKS TO JEREMY, WHO LIKES YELLING BECAUSE IT REMINDS HIM OF HIS CHILDHOOD. ME TOO, JEREMY.

SKATEBOARD COMPUTER KEYBOARD BRINGS OUT THE SKATER IN GEEKS [WALYOU]

Oct 19 2009 XBox Live Friend Accept Flowchart: Let Me Guess, You're Another 12 Year Old Racist

This is a flowchart for determining if you should accept a friend request from someone on XBox Live. And I've got to admit, it's pretty spot-on. Of course, I don't accept ANY friend requests because I'm a loner. I even eat alone and, more often than not, have sex. You never seen a bigger bunch of concerned Wendy's employees!

Xbox Live Friend Acceptance Flowchart [kotaku]

Thanks to Grantly, who only accepts requests from people he knows in real life because he doesn't want to risk befriending a robot. Smart, Grantly, smart.

Oct 19 2009 Aww: Custom Mario Level Wedding Proposal

Some guy proposed to his girlfriend by spelling out 'LISA WILL YOU MARRY ME?' in coins in a Super Mario World level he edited. This is the video of Lisa playing the game and accepting his proposal.

My nerdy way to propose. On October 15th 2009, it was out 5 year anniversary so i decided to propose. Using a program called lunar magic I was able to spell "lisa... Will you marry me?" she may not look too surprised in the video but you should of seen her afterwords, she couldn't sit still!!! And no it wasn't staged, but I did sit her down told her to play some Super Mario World, but she totally didn't know she was being recorded!!

Cute! This gives me a great idea about how I'm going to propose. By never asking. What do you think -- too romantic?

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Thanks to mygirlfriendtoldmetosendthisin, Alex, Geo, Steve and Chaemelion, who all proposed the old fashioned way: by hacking roadsigns.

Oct 19 2009 South America + Africa = Tyrannosaurus Rex

Proof that God loves dinosaurs, when South America is superimposed over Africa, it forms a Tyrannosaurus Rex head. Now don't take this lightly -- several people died getting this information out, as the Catholic Church has been trying to keep this from us for centuries. Suck it, Dan Brown, I own you!

Picture

Thanks to b00m, who found out if you superimpose me on top of a dinosaur you get a picture of me having sex with a dinosaur. Cool!

Oct 19 2009 Luxury SUVs: Now With Whale Penis Interiors

Italian leather is okay, but you haven't experienced luxury until you've peeled yourself from whale penis leather on a hot day. And now you can thanks to the $1.6 million Dartz Prombron Monaco Red Diamond Edition armored car! Also, penis leather is fundamentally wrong.

The leather is not the only tacky accessory on the Prombron, which Dartz claims is the world's most expensive SUV.

The bulletproof windows are gold-plated, the exhaust is made of tungsten, the gauges are encrusted with diamonds and rubies and the exterior has a Kevlar coating.

The car also comes with three bottles of the world's most expensive Vodka, RussoBaltique, although the website does warn prospective buyers not to drink and drive.

Dartz's armoured vehicles weigh roughly 4 tonnes, are powered by V8s putting out between 300kW and 400kW and are "rocket grenade-proof" according to the website.

For those wondering just how may whales may need to be harvested to outfit the special edition, the answer is not many. The penis of the Blue Whale, for example, can grow up to 2.4 metres.

Yeah, no. If I catch anybody with one of these you can rest assured I'm stealing your windows, exhaust, instrument panel and vodka. AND I MAY RUB MY FACE ALL OVER YOUR SEATS.

The 4WD with seats made of whale penis [sydneymorningherald]

Thanks to Russell and Dan the man, who both drive unicorn penises.

Oct 19 2009 Stop Laughing, Dog: Duck Hunt Tramp Stamp

This is Crystal. Crystal doesn't get much sun and has a Duck Hunt tramp stamp. Anybody else get the shivers when they see that dog? God, I hated it when he would laugh at me. Now I'm not saying I want to shoot him with my lightgun, but I would stab this chick and steal one of her kidneys. And by one I mean both. I have a drug addiction.

Duck Hunt Tramp Stamp Tattoo [bme]

Thanks to Alan, who was considering a Contra tramp stamp but then bailed at the last minute and got Metroid instead. I think it was the right decision.

Oct 19 2009 BOOM!: Massive Underwater Mine Detonation

This is an old-ass video of somebody's (the French's?) Navy detonating an underwater mine. The picture quality is pretty poor but the explosion is amazing and I'm not afraid to admit I got aroused. Twice. Plus I love how at the very end they realize their boat's gonna be capsized by the resulting wave and start going apeshit. Talk about poor planning -- that's something I would do! But it's cool because I'm a blogger and not a Navy.

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Thanks to Trogdolorian, who plans on traveling back in time to seize and burninate a castle.

Oct 19 2009 DO WANT: Tyrannosaurus Rex Wall Decals

This $45 Tyrannosaurs Rex wall decal is available from Etsy seller lildecalshoppe (who will make you any decal you want) and is definitely something I'd never tire of waking up next to. Also, a box of Thin Mints.

* Made from 7 year high quality vinyl * Measures 65 x 45 inches * Available in many other colors. Please email color choice or black will be sent.

We use a durable high grade matte finish vinyl which gives a painted look and feel to your wall. Decals are self adhesive making them easy to apply and remove, leaving no residue behind. This material is specifically made for interior walls and will last a very long time indoors.

7 year vinyl? They're aging their vinyl! If that's not a sign of quality I don't know what is. Because one time I drank 12-year old bourbon and then when I was puking it felt like I was breathing fire. DAMN YEAH JUST LIKE BOWSER!

Product Site

Thanks to twellve, who is totally gonna get one for her new nephew. Jealous!

Oct 19 2009 DIY: Homemade Exoskeleton Costume

Looking for a Halloween costume idea? Have lots of time and silver spraypaint? Then you can build your own exoskeleton (suck it, regular skeletons!) like Mario Caicedo Langer the creepy starer. Just don't go showing up in these parts expecting candy OR I WILL BURN YOU WITH A CAULDRON OF SCALDING BAT'S BLOOD. You're not purple nurpling me with that robot hand!

Amazing homemade exoskeleton costume puts my homemade exoskeleton to shame [dvice]

Oct 18 2009 Beautiful Tragedy: Burning City Firescreens

This is a firescreen that makes it appear as though London is burning in your fireplace. There's one of Rome too, after the jump. BURN!!

It's been a long time since fire ravaged London and Rome in 1666 and 64 AD respectively--which must be why we can feel okay about making cool firescreens based on these tragic incidents today.

Very clever. Of course, I want a custom one with a bunch of mangled robot corpses in the back and me riding a dino in the foreground. Just like how it happens in the future. Don't believe me? Then where did this passage come from:

And on the seventh day, while God was resting, man foolishly invented robots. Man, being the idiot moron that he is, said, "be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it", and they did. Then God woke up and saw the metallic shitstorm down below and sent the Geekologie Writer to whip their robotic monkey asses atop his wicked dino-mount. Plus laserbeams.

This is the word of the Geekologie Writer. Amen Pew pew.

Hit the jump for Rome burning.

Continue Reading " Beautiful Tragedy: Burning City Firescreens "

Oct 18 2009 Okay: Man Raps Eminem Songs In Klingon

This is a video of German rapper Klenginem covering Eminem's 'Without Me' in the Klingon language. Apparently this guy actually dresses up and plays gigs doing this. And, honestly, I'm not surprised, Germans are weird as shit. Videos. Case closed!

Klenginem: Eminem Meets Klingon [poppedculture]

Thanks to Matthew, Chrissy and dan, who, from the quality of their emails, don't even know one language. Kidding (but not really)!

Oct 18 2009 You People Are So Skilled!: Geekologie Reader Makes Piranha Plant B-Day Cake

Young Geekologie Reader Chris helped design and build a Super Mario Piranha Plant birthday cake for his younger brother's 10th birthday. I call the head!

My mom, her name is Kathrine if you care to know, has always been big into making splendiferous cakes for me and my brother on our birthdays. This year for my brother's 10th, she went all out and learned how to use fondant and whatnot and we made him a Piranha Plant cake. I had to help out, as she had little knowledge of the reference material, and me, her and my grandmother put it together for him. He was so happy he didn't even notice his presents.

I've been a longtime reader, as has been my mother (she got me started reading) and it would be awesome to see you put this up, or even to just have you tell me what you think.

Did you just read that? It said Chris's mother got him started reading Geekologie. Is that not the most beautiful thing ever? It is. And if you even think about calling child services and costing me a reader I WILL MURDER YOU. Happy Sunday! Seriously, I will murder you.

Hit the jump for one more shot of the birthday boy and cake and a link to the Flickr gallery with some build shots.

Continue Reading " You People Are So Skilled!: Geekologie Reader Makes Piranha Plant B-Day Cake "

Oct 18 2009 I Would Eat That: The Cheese Burgkin

In the Halloween spirit, this is a picture of a pumpkin that's been turned into a cheeseburger. Impressive, but I would have made all the fixin's out of candy. What can I say, I have vision. 20/200! Now, somebody lead me to the bathroom.

The Burger Pumpkin [extremepumpkins]

Thanks to Jacyln, who once turned a pumpkin into a carriage and rode to the ball in style. On pecan pie dubs.