Sep 10 2009Why Parents Shouldn't Be On Facebook. Alternatively: Your Mom Just Friended Me
This is a excerpt from a Facebook conversation (hit the jump to read the rest) between some crazy old lady and who she believes to be her son, but isn't. I have no idea whether it's fake or not (I don't think it is), but that's not the point. The point is that this a perfect example of why older parents shouldn't be allowed to operate computers (or motor vehicles, unless they're driving me to the mall with my friends). And I'm not just saying that because my stepfather walked in to use the computer during one of my more risque webcam shows, but he did. And started dancing. Yeah, it was awkward. But only in the beginning.
Hit the jump for the rest of the conversation.
Facebook Mom [collegehumor]
Thanks to Joemo, who defriended his own mom because he was tired of getting her Farmville and Gang Wars updates.
Reader Comments
1. Mr.Checkers - September 10, 2009 1:38 PM
mom?
2. deadbodyman - September 10, 2009 1:41 PM
pffftthahahahahahaha! That was much needed hilarity. Slimey whore of a stepmother...jeez, mom's got a mouth on her, lol.
3. Abe Lincoln - September 10, 2009 1:41 PM
Ha ha ha! Bitches be crazy.
4. Sean - September 10, 2009 1:42 PM
totally fake. Mom's are crazy, but not that crazy. Too many catch phrases and un-warranted language.
5. akonn - September 10, 2009 1:42 PM
hahah what a crazy old mom
6. Ali - September 10, 2009 1:42 PM
Facebook fail...
7. George Washington - September 10, 2009 1:43 PM
stfu Abe
8. johan - September 10, 2009 1:45 PM
im 2nd!!! whoaa..very rare...
9. HeyHey - September 10, 2009 1:48 PM
Damn O_o
@ Sean- I'm glad you have a sane mother. But you should get out in the world...
10. Dinosaur Rex - September 10, 2009 1:49 PM
Looks fake to me, but sometimes mothers are that uhm clueless.
Ha, if i had a father that give me nintendos, i would choose his side without thinking
11. Mr. cow - September 10, 2009 1:56 PM
Moo
12. Rob - September 10, 2009 1:59 PM
She was really brooding over her 'son' not acknowledging her. She wrote back at 2am!
Feel bad for the real son.
13. bendizle - September 10, 2009 1:59 PM
me likey
14. naas - September 10, 2009 2:00 PM
hahahaha, love it
15. naas - September 10, 2009 2:04 PM
STOMPY is your mom anything like that?
16. Danny - September 10, 2009 2:04 PM
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFAIL
17. HxCereal - September 10, 2009 2:06 PM
Wow...This is my mom 100%...
She made me try to do something like that...
Made me hunt her boyfriends long lost son who dipped on the family and was trying to get me to invite him across country to stay with us.
Good thing that dummy doesn't know how to even cut the computer on because she threw a fit and totally unplugged it and dipped.
18. deadbodyman - September 10, 2009 2:11 PM
@17
Define 'dipped'. I'm not familiar with your usage of that word in the context of your sentences.
19. White667 - September 10, 2009 2:11 PM
I'd believe it, it's extremely American.
20. Daniel - September 10, 2009 2:13 PM
totally photoshoped, the shadows are all wrong...
21. ch4p3l - September 10, 2009 2:15 PM
@17
WTF is dipped?
22. STOMPY - September 10, 2009 2:16 PM
Why did I have a feeling my mom would get dragged into this one...
23. Johnny B - September 10, 2009 2:16 PM
@18
dipped on the family = ran away/abandoned the family
i.e.~ "We heard the police sirens approaching, so we dipped out."
Not sure about the other poster, but I'm from the Philly area.
24. Genghis Khunt - September 10, 2009 2:17 PM
4. Sean - September 10, 2009 1:42 PM
"totally fake. Mom's are crazy, but not that crazy"
Care to trade mothers and test that theory?
25. Leeto - September 10, 2009 2:17 PM
This. Is. Hilarious.
Abe, you took the words out of my mouth.
26. Reginald - September 10, 2009 2:18 PM
I had a friend of my parents send me a message about my Dad having a second Facebook page (we share the same name) where he was 25 and single. Had pictures with girls half his own age.
The saddest thing is, she has known me since I was 12 or so. Plus why would my Mom have me (my Dad's alter ego) as a friend?? (I can only assume that is how she found me) You have to love when parents find new technology, what will they think of next?
27. Sally - September 10, 2009 2:18 PM
Gotta love Penn State. Our ranking as #1 party school in the nation probably stems from the fact that our parents are mostly incompetent, at best.
28. hectorv1979 - September 10, 2009 2:20 PM
hey wait thats my mom
29. Dishy Dishyington - September 10, 2009 2:23 PM
im 2nd!!! whoaa..very rare...
30. naas - September 10, 2009 2:26 PM
@22 but of course, she's used to it
@28 your mom has black hair
31. Milkman - September 10, 2009 2:31 PM
My dad tried to add me on facebook... strangely the request just sat in limbo til it vanished. Odd!
32. mrs. cow - September 10, 2009 2:35 PM
Moo
33. Cow jr. - September 10, 2009 2:36 PM
Moo
34. Uncle cow - September 10, 2009 2:36 PM
Moo
35. Grandpappi cow - September 10, 2009 2:37 PM
moo
36. senor cow - September 10, 2009 2:37 PM
el moo-o
37. TD-2243 - September 10, 2009 2:38 PM
SCARY!!!!
38. TetraShiva - September 10, 2009 2:40 PM
@4
This is exactly the reason my profile is set to private and I have no friended my mother on Facebook. This is exactly the kind of crap that would happen.
39. TD-2244 - September 10, 2009 2:40 PM
im one more then you
40. Slimy whore of a stepcow - September 10, 2009 2:41 PM
moo
41. Blastphemer - September 10, 2009 2:42 PM
Hmmm...I think the dude should've just totally played it off as if he were her real son. Could've gotten pretty insane (as if it didn't already). I'd have given her something to really think about like...
"For your information, my Stepmother gives THE best bl0wj0bs on the planet (just like Dad tried to tell me all these years - don't believe me? just youtube the videos pops shot of her taking it hot and heavy from the both of us), so don't you DARE call HER a wh0re!!! Secondly, the only reason I ever enjoyed going to "all those" baseball practices was to get a couple of hours out from under your wretched overbearingness - get a life! Oh yeah, did Mike tell you the real reason he got suspended??? Copious amounts of kiddie porn! That's right...your precious little Mikey is a sick pervo whack job, and I'm surprised he hasn't been featured on To Catch a Predator yet. As for you not paying my tuition at this $hit hole of a university...THANK YOU! I'm f**king out of here, withdrawing as soon as I can drag my burning a$$hole out from under these two drunk & passed out football players I gangbanged last night, and make it over to the office. So DON'T SEND ANOTHER STINKIN DIME...and keep your worthless threats to yourself while you're at it!!!
PS. So glad you tracked me down on Facebook...now please go f**k yourself.
PSS. Dad was right to cheat on you, YOU SUCK!
I always hated your guts,
Greg
You know? Nothing too over the top or anything, but just a little something for her to think about before her next post. Now THAT would've been epic...especially when the real Greg called her up to see if she could loan him a few bucks and do his laundry (not to mention pay his tuition). Wasted opportunities, my friends...wasted opportunities.
42. Brittany - September 10, 2009 2:48 PM
lmao
43. deadbodyman - September 10, 2009 2:50 PM
@23
My only knowledge of Philly comes from it's always sunny in philadelphia, and the gang has never used the word 'dipped' in that context. See, here in Texas we would say "we heard the police sirens so we ran like hell".
44. Tennist0 - September 10, 2009 2:59 PM
lol, she bought them thier "nintentoes", that my friends, makes for a loing relationship
45. Ollie Williams - September 10, 2009 3:04 PM
El moo-o. Classy.
46. Mark4Nier - September 10, 2009 3:06 PM
Facebook posts in your inbox or on your wall are listed in chronological order from newest to oldest. This picture is listed from oldest to newest.
47. Cnote - September 10, 2009 3:09 PM
@43
i'm from new york and dipped is commonly used that way amongst my friends. So the first time 17 used it, it makes sense, but the 2nd one is still confusing.
48. Johnny B - September 10, 2009 3:13 PM
@43
I guess its more of a local dialect.
Like how we say 'Hoagie' and not 'Sub', OR we say 'Soda' not 'Pop', OR we say 'Vagina' not 'Republican'
49. WaitWhat - September 10, 2009 3:13 PM
Posted this is the wrong place earlier... but wasn't this news post made here like a week or two ago already?
50. deadbodyman - September 10, 2009 3:14 PM
@47
Good. That makes two of us.
51. Sean - September 10, 2009 3:15 PM
let me rephrase.......moms are crazy, but not that perfectly crazy. This sounds like a mom from melrose place. It's totally fake.
52. Heather - September 10, 2009 3:17 PM
LOL! Epic. And the comments here are even epic...er. Ok, so WHAT if it's not a word? I RE-INVENTED THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE, Y'ALL!
::passes out::
53. Robot - September 10, 2009 3:24 PM
@41 that would have been epic!
54. Fade - September 10, 2009 3:25 PM
@41 perfect. You win.
http://fade-to-extra.mybrute.com
55. joss - September 10, 2009 3:37 PM
ditto 41 wins. Shame the real guy helped her possibly find her actual kid (poor, poor kid).
56. glace neuf - September 10, 2009 3:42 PM
where's daisy when one of these things is actually fake?
57. guava - September 10, 2009 3:43 PM
my mom is a friend of mine on facebook....
the only problem i have with it is that she bags on me when i am on early in the mournings (as in 2am/3am) and looks at my stuff >.>
58. Jonathan - September 10, 2009 3:56 PM
I wonder if she stitched his name into his underwear before he left for school.
59. Naomi - September 10, 2009 4:04 PM
Obviously fake and obviously funny. My stepmom friended me, but I've managed to avoid my dad...
60. pwall5000 - September 10, 2009 4:06 PM
@ 57 Thats actually me on your mom's computer after I smashed it till she fell alseep.
61. GoSS Jerk now sterilized for your pleasure - September 10, 2009 4:16 PM
@ 41 , nice
62. SoapScum - September 10, 2009 4:45 PM
I wouldn't be surprised if my mom left a trail of these in her wake trying to find me on facebook. Ugh.
63. FDSY - September 10, 2009 4:49 PM
OHHHHH ASS. This is the best thing yet.
64. Ballsworthy - September 10, 2009 5:06 PM
sexcopter
65. Lizzie - September 10, 2009 5:31 PM
@ 41 I bow down to you.
my mom has facebook and myspace and all that stuff, she's the type of mom that wishes she was still 17. and she's really stalker-ish, she looks at people's pages ALL the time.
but she's not THIS crazy. It looks pretty fake to me.
66. Pat - September 10, 2009 5:53 PM
I think this video from The Onion sums things up nicely:
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/facebook_twitter_revolutionizing?utm_source=a-section
67. naas - September 10, 2009 6:01 PM
penis
68. The thompson - September 10, 2009 6:05 PM
If that had happen to me, I would have asked for a check for $2k then told her I'm not her son!
69. Deusoma - September 10, 2009 7:01 PM
How unfortunate, I thought this was funny until I reached the end, if it was hosted on College Humour then it has to be a hoax. :P
70. Lissy - September 10, 2009 7:22 PM
where r u daisy? :[
71. Droocy - September 10, 2009 8:07 PM
I think when a woman becomes a mother some I.Q. points manage to drop a good number.
72. dipped - September 10, 2009 8:39 PM
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dipped
73. Christian - September 10, 2009 9:12 PM
I got one better for you, i use yahoo and so does all my family and friends aswell, one night i was online and this person popped up so i started to chat and they seem cool, so i asked how old are you just to be safe before i start hitting on you, and this is what i got, "you don't know how old your own mother is?!!!!!!!", i was spaced out that day go figured
74. Colorless Rainbow - September 10, 2009 10:43 PM
My mom used to be on my facebook but she deleted it because she got divorced from my dad and couldn't figure out how to change the relationship status to single. Spiteful one, haha.
75. Jiakasuma - September 10, 2009 11:38 PM
Damn you Mr.Checkers !!!!!!!!!!
76. HxCereal - September 10, 2009 11:42 PM
My mothers the kind of person who demands to you to do something online for her...VERY stalkerish. When I didn't do as she wanted...She got furious, yanked the power cord and told me she was going to figure it out.
Better?
@ EVERYONE who didn't know what "dipped" meant:
sorry my bad, didn't mean to confuse you.
@ EVERYONE who knew:
love love
@ 63
how poetic! it truly struck me XD
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79. Chundermutton - September 11, 2009 5:12 AM
his grandmother has the same birthday as me!
80. Jaded Icon - September 11, 2009 7:08 AM
@ 76
Yeah, sorry. Midwesterners say "That kid ran away". "Dipping" is what we call taking a pinch of chewing tobacco.
@ 48
WRONG!!! All politicians = douchebags
Don't think for one second, one party is better than the other. Both are professional liars and thieves.
81. ugg Short boots - September 11, 2009 7:44 AM
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82. Johnny B - September 11, 2009 10:50 AM
@73
Your mother's name doesn't happen to be Jocasta, is it?
(Oedipus reference)
@78
Stop pimping out your whore website
@80
True most all politicians are DBs, but I think democrats seem to care more about the middle class, but we don't need to start getting into poilitics here.
I love in the episode of Family Guy where Chris joins the Young Republican's Club, where they "help others who already have the means to help themselves."
83. selunesmom - September 11, 2009 10:58 AM
Sounds pretty real. Actually sounds like something mine would write if she thought she found me on Facebook/MySpace. I pity her real sons.
84. Russ - September 11, 2009 11:54 AM
This originally appeared on college humor. You really think this is real? Are you stoopid?
85. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - September 11, 2009 12:34 PM
My mom's on my FB, but she's a programmer, so instead of being a dumbass, she searched for me via my email address... and if I want to post something raunchy, or something I don't want her to see... I post it. and she deals with it (usually by making fun of me). Because we are grown ups...
86. COW - September 11, 2009 2:51 PM
Moo
87. Was mom once cool? - September 11, 2009 4:53 PM
@71 When a woman becomes a mother, it's the years and years of "Mommy, I want this" "No, do it this way," "She hit me!" "I'm telling!" "Can you get me a sandwich?" "Can I have some juice?"
Cue the Barney I love you song ... then play Wiggles ... for years.
It strips away what made you sexy and human.
88. Meh - September 11, 2009 5:02 PM
Your comment about "older parents shouldn't operate computers" actually shows how ignorant and young that you are.
Next time your slimy step-father walks in on you and decides to participate, rather than kick you in your naked butt (which would be well deserved), while you're putting on a peep show for all to see, think about how sick it sounds and perhaps that will prompt you to put on a robe or something over that thong you purchased at the mall that your step-daddy chauffeured you to.
Or maybe, you just like that kind of attention?
:-)
Signed,
An Older Parent (Who happens to be a Senior Systems Engineer (read: computers, if you're to ignorant to figure it out), paying for the car and the providing the funds for snot-nosed teenaged daughters to shop at the mall with their fellow skank friends).
P.S. Funny story, nevertheless.
89. dethbyrd - September 11, 2009 5:48 PM
damn that was funny!
90. kjlasdfhkjasdf - September 11, 2009 5:50 PM
@88 i love having sex with your snot nosed teenage daughters AND their skank friends. So i should be thanking their step dad and not you for this fantastic privilige?
91. Megan - September 11, 2009 7:24 PM
@88- What the hell?
92. Megan - September 11, 2009 7:26 PM
Either someone doesn't understand GW's style here, or someone's screwing (it yelled at me for language, lame) around . Either way, it didn't make sense.
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94. yawn - September 13, 2009 7:02 AM
I am not your son.
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96. Mr. Paradise - September 13, 2009 4:42 PM
I'm from Texas, too and I know exactly what dipped means. We use it all the time. WTF?
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98. pedo pedro - September 15, 2009 12:02 AM
Sad.
99. Annette - September 15, 2009 10:21 AM
hahah i showed my mum (she has face book) and she laughed so hard.
thats hilarious!
she seems to be a very open person haha
100. Hiiviir - September 17, 2009 5:40 AM
LOL
101. chrisander - September 17, 2009 5:40 AM
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102. asskiker - September 18, 2009 2:37 AM
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105. Veronica - September 21, 2009 3:04 PM
Damn thats crazy... That lady has some major issues.. lol but still was funny