Sep 2 2009Tactical Canned Bacon Has 10-Year Shelf Life
Sure we've seen canned bacon before, but I don't want to seem I give preferential treatment to one pig's belly over another, so here's Tac Bac! Like its competitor, this bacon is good for TEN FREAKIN' YEARS. Buy now and you can eat the very same can in 2019 while huddled in your basement praying the robots' heat sensors can't reach you down there. Each tactical can will set you back $16 and contains approximately 54 strips of fatty pig. Definitely not the cheapest thing to survive on, but it's worlds better than ten year old Ho-Hos and Ding Dongs, which, I don't care if they're the last things on earth, are still illegal.
Thanks to MDGrein, JFreezy, stereotypical, Harsh, Cpt. Awesome, Ste, Hammer, Dave, LucidSteel, Bryan, shogunu, and anyone I may have missed, you are all welcome to take shelter in my robot-proof lair, but only because I love sausage fests.
Reader Comments
1. Johnny B - September 2, 2009 5:06 PM
Forget the Twinkies, I'm stocking my fall out shelter with bacon!!!!
2. Johnny B - September 2, 2009 5:08 PM
Maybe fatty from a few posts ago should've kept a can of this under his bed before the wife swap experiment started?!
3. naas - September 2, 2009 5:11 PM
Canned bacon w/ 10 yr shelf life = awesome
GW's sausage fests = not so awesome
4. GiNORMAGANTUAN - September 2, 2009 5:12 PM
why yes indeed all fallout shelters shall be filled up with this here ingenius invention.......... why would you not want to buy this!??? everyone knows when the zombie-hooker-cyborg army comes to invade and take over our societies as we know them this is out best bet at storing enough much needed energy to feed our bacon hungry men (and some children) to keep us baconated and strong to form the mightyest bacon powered army the wold has ever seen and we will rise from the ashes to defeat them muh-fukkaz!!!!!!! and take back our shitty planet!!!!!! take that zombie-prostitute-robotic-cyborg beetchezz!!!!
5. Brad - September 2, 2009 5:14 PM
This little piggy boy went to the market to stock up on some canned bacon and he went Wa! Wa! Wa! Wa! Wa! al the way there.
6. KPFreely - September 2, 2009 5:15 PM
You should check your old post; turns out the former bacon is good for 10 years too. Anyway, it didn't have any firearms on the package.
Love your stuff.
KP
7. Me - September 2, 2009 5:16 PM
First thing i imagined when i read "tactical" was someone throwing this at zombies to distract them, while making a quick getaway.... but i doubt most Geekologie readers would make THAT sacrifice
8. passiflorav - September 2, 2009 5:24 PM
bacon (no matter what form) = always relevant.
9. Spikey DaPikey - September 2, 2009 6:29 PM
I sooooo need this in my stash !!!
Mmmmmmm canned bacon :D
10. Iris - September 2, 2009 6:50 PM
Wow geekologie loves bacon..
I want a can just to see if it'd actually taste good
and is gw gay? =o I'd be effin sad if he was :(
11. Taylored - September 2, 2009 6:59 PM
Shelf life is too short. Robots are not going to take over for at least 10 years and a full blown Zombie outbreak is not that likely. Bacon should really have a 25 year shelf life.
12. Billy Rapture - September 2, 2009 6:59 PM
Um, Iris, id lock your doors soon.
Its likely that naas, Daisy, and a bunch of other GW lovers will come and murder you.
QUICK!
TO THE BUNKER!
Grab the Can O' Bacon!
13. captain pork - September 2, 2009 6:59 PM
Good call by allowing the ad for 'Bacon Salt' to show up on this page when I clicked on it. Now, if my bacon isn't tasting bacony enough, I can just dump some bacon salt on them strips and fulfill all my bacon fantasies. Mmmmm. Who will be the first to be found dead from a canned bacon overdose...???
14. JFreezy - September 2, 2009 7:52 PM
YESSSSSS! I got an invite to the GW's robot-proof lair!! WOOT WOOT!! Give me the GPS coordinates and I'll bring the dino hookers!!
15. Mr. cow - September 2, 2009 9:24 PM
Moo
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17. Ginormagantuan - September 3, 2009 6:38 AM
CALIFORNIA IS ON FIRE BECAUSE THERE IS TOO MANY SODOMITES THERE AND HAVE ANGERED THE GODS :)
18. Jaded Icon - September 3, 2009 7:45 AM
Nice! Bring on the zombies! I've got bacon!!!!
@ 17
No, no, no. It's because there are too many celebrities and God hates celebrities......but he can't stop reading about them on Superficial Writers site.
19. GoSS Jerk - September 3, 2009 8:22 AM
before i even start reading this let me state.... BACON BACON BACONBACON BACON BACONBACON BACON BACONBACON BACON BACONBACON BACON BACONBACON BACON BACONBACON BACON BACONBACON BACON BACONBACON BACON BACONBACON BACON BACONBACON BACON BACONBACON BACON BACONBACON BACON BACONBACON BACON BACONBACON BACON BACONBACON BACON BACONBACON BACON BACONBACON BACON BACONBACON BACON BACONBACON BACON BACONBACON BACON BACONBACON BACON BACONBACON BACON BACONBACON BACON BACONBACON BACON BACONBACON BACON BACONBACON BACON BACONBACON BACON BACONBACON BACON BACON
20. GoSS Jerk - September 3, 2009 8:28 AM
i love bacon, but i really dont think i would eat a 10 year old strip of bacon...
21. Fade - September 3, 2009 11:56 AM
Seriously? Pack my bomb shelter with this stuff... Image that Fallout boy popping out to a new world 10 years after eating this bacon...
More like ROLLOUT BOY...
http://fade-to-extra.mybrute.com
22. Blastphemer - September 3, 2009 12:18 PM
Just let me know when they come out with the deep-fried, bacon flavored, mayonaise balls, covered in sausage gravy....THEN I'm in.
BTW - don't have to last 10 years, because I doubt - A. that they would survive longer than a week, no matter how many cans i stocked up on (nom nom nom slurp nom nom); and B. that I would survive longer than a week + 1 day after having digested all that fatty heaven in a can.
23. geekogee - September 5, 2009 6:25 AM
Must See!!!
http://alturl.com/obg7
________________
24. S - September 5, 2009 3:09 PM
Excellent product! Something to eat before breaking out the fruitcake from its Christmas tin.