PearlyDreams (not what I thought it was either) Natural Sleep Enhancing Toothpaste is supposed to help you fall asleep after brushing your teeth at night. Me? I just chloroform myself and pass out on the bathroom floor.
PearlyDreams (endorsed by Aerosmith's Brad Whitford, so you know it's legit) is toothpaste with Melatonin, Balm Mint, Valerian and Passionflower inside, all of which should combine to ease you into a peaceful slumber.
Pfft, who brushes their teeth anymore? I don't know about you, but I have robots that live in my gums and are programmed to come out and scrub my teeth clean every four hours. Sometimes they throw dance parties on my tongue and *WHOA!* Jesus, I was just having the worst nightmare.
This toothpaste is designed to knock you unconscious [dvice]
Because Japan is literally millennia ahead in the realm of WTF'ery, dentists in the country are now offering 'Yaeba' cosmetic treatments, a dental procedure that makes a girl's teeth appear wonky and (obviously) more desirable. But how do they feel about lazy eyes?
Yaeba mean... / Continue →
All my teeth have already rotted out because I pass out drunk on the floor somewhere between the kitchen and living room every night without brushing, but that's just part of what makes me so dreamy. Plus I save like $6 a year on floss! But for those of you who still have mol... / Continue →
It's a body bag!
This is a sleeping bag that looks like an anatomical diagram of the human organs. You know, or a person who had their skin removed by a cannibal. Which, fun fact, look the exact same. Just don't use it when you're camping or you better believe somebody's go... / Continue →