Sep 9 2009Steel Velcro: Because Plastic Is For Sissies
This new steel velcro can support up to 35 tons of pressure and looks ultra-badass. So badass I want a belt made out of it. Yeah, and a headband. Wait, is this stainless steel? Cause I can't have no rust juice dripping in my eyes!
Developed by German engineers, this new version of Velcro is dubbed Metaklett, and it can support 35 tons at temperatures up to 1472 degrees. It's made from "perforated steel strips 0.2 millimetres thick, one kind bristling with springy steel brushes and the other sporting jagged spikes."
I have no idea what sort of industrial uses they have planned for this shit, but that's not important. What IS important is this: Velco is actually a name brand. The generic term for this type of closure is 'hook-and-loop fastener'. If you already knew that, congratulations. If not, I hope I just wasted some space behind your face! I'm talking about in your brain.
Thank you for being a friendTravel down the road and back again
your heart is true, you're a pal and a confidant
And if you threw a party,
Invited everyone you knew,
You would see the biggest gift would be from me and the card attached would say,
Thank you for being a friend.
Haha, I'm just messing with you now.
Reader Comments
1. Kane - September 9, 2009 2:29 PM
wouldn't trust it with all that weight personally.
2. Wes - September 9, 2009 2:29 PM
A really big Michael Jackson statute ....
3. Mr. cow - September 9, 2009 2:30 PM
Moo
4. joe d - September 9, 2009 2:30 PM
FURRSTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
up yours naas
5. deadbodyman - September 9, 2009 2:32 PM
hahahaha joe, you suck so hard it's hilarious.
6. Jaycob - September 9, 2009 2:33 PM
@5 yea i concur
and regular Velcro is already too scratchy
7. Suzie - September 9, 2009 2:34 PM
I LOVE THE GOLDEN GIRLS!!!
8. Blastphemer - September 9, 2009 2:55 PM
Finally something that can support the weight and temperature of my sweaty jock strap when i leave the gym. Now then, if I could just find a sturdy enough gym bag to afix this shit to...
9. robocop - September 9, 2009 2:57 PM
Great, now we have something to stop the robots with when they try to destroy our planet. All we've got to do is lay one side down with some type of superglue so they roll/walk/crawl onto it and leave the other side around our homes so they get stuck on it. Then, take a flame thrower out front in the morning and have an all day robot BBQ! Oh yeah!
10. Gargamel - September 9, 2009 3:07 PM
Silly question: If this sh!t can support 35 tons...how the hell do you pull it apart?
11. sick to the power of me - September 9, 2009 3:13 PM
How long before Japan takees this and starts putting it on a new game show where they throw elephants and other large animals onto the steel velcro wall to stick?
12. catch22 - September 9, 2009 3:14 PM
so does it screw on each side? cause youd never be able to seperate it... youd just
13. Hannukah Montana - September 9, 2009 3:15 PM
This almost makes me wanna slap it on my bum. See what kind of marks it's gonna leave on it. Forget dominiatrix! I want my mule!!!
14. dliup - September 9, 2009 3:17 PM
Bad news, those are going to be used for robot zippers
15. Pat - September 9, 2009 3:23 PM
@11 and 14
Yes, I think we know what Japan will _really_ be using this for (read: robot apocalypse).
16. RK - September 9, 2009 3:51 PM
i have a difficult time imagining for what application they'd appropriately use steel velcro?
17. GoSS Jerk now sterilized for your pleasure - September 9, 2009 3:54 PM
@ 10 I was thinking the exact same thing...
@ 5 nice one
@ 6 i also concur, although that is a weird word... kinda stuck up like, you know... your but... jk
18. ham bone - September 9, 2009 4:02 PM
i think that this what they use on my girlfriend's bra clasp ... and by girlfriend i mean hookers
19. DrThrasher - September 9, 2009 4:16 PM
@10 Yeah. My first thoughts exactly. Well second thought to be honest my first thought is always bacon.
20. naas - September 9, 2009 4:38 PM
@5 joe d - I am sorry I couldn't let you know sooner but..... http://bugi.oulu.fi/~heikkiv/chan/error.jpg
21. ciao - September 9, 2009 5:17 PM
what do you mean? The rust juice may look neat dripping down, along with the blood too.
22. Squidly - September 9, 2009 5:50 PM
Wait, so are you saying you watch and know by heart the golden girls song?
23. Wormy - September 9, 2009 5:59 PM
Wait. Is Velco the name brand or is it Velcro? DID THE MIGHTY GW MAKE A TYPO?
24. Becca - September 9, 2009 6:10 PM
How could you tease me that way GW? I thought we had something special :(... And what I want to know is why people are always making useless shit that can be used against us in the robot apocalypse? No good can come of metal velcro :/
25. Daisy - September 9, 2009 6:18 PM
FAKE!!!!
This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.
This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max gave his father a wallet with a velcro closure. His father hates the sound of Velcro and got rid of the wallet throwing it away. Max's uncle leo found it in the trash later though.
26. J - September 9, 2009 6:29 PM
@10, totally agree. Of course you peel it back a bit at a time but even so, If it can hold 35000kg, and peeling it back makes it 99% easier to pull apart. Were still talking 350kg of pressure. And what the hell did they use to fix it to whatever it was they tested to come up with a force of 35 tonnes??? Glue? Screws? How fun would it be to stick some to the front and rear bumpers of cars in your street and push them all together........conga conga cong-a
27. martin - September 9, 2009 6:44 PM
Haha, Golden Girls.
28. Kristen - September 9, 2009 7:58 PM
blanche likes this
29. ciao - September 9, 2009 8:17 PM
I might use this to velcro two trucks together!!!!
yeehaaaawww....
30. Geekogee - September 10, 2009 7:08 AM
Must See!!!
http://alturl.com/obg7
________________
31. Flash Gordon - September 10, 2009 10:11 AM
Velcro is a brand name. The correct term is "hook and loop".
32. hgjfgj - September 11, 2009 2:30 AM
Shox r4 shoes
Thanks for posting, I really enjoyed your most recent post. I think you should post more often, you obviously have natural ability for blogging!