Sep 15 2009Snake With Foot Found, Killed In China

I am seriously reconsidering my decision to procreate in China. What with all the winged cats and footed snakes, I don't want my children to grow up with three legs like their father, you know? My beneficial defects aside, I must admit: as an amateur herpetologist, I'm a little skeptical about a footed snake. It seems almost like it swallowed a lizard and then that bastard was all like, "oh hell naw!" and kicked through the snake's bitchass stomach.
Dean Qiongxiu, 66, said she discovered the reptile clinging to the wall of her bedroom with its talons in the middle of the night.
"I woke up and heard a strange scratching sound. I turned on the light and saw this monster working its way along the wall using his claw," said Mrs Duan of Suining, southwest China.Mrs Duan said she was so scared she grabbed a shoe and beat the snake to death before preserving its body in a bottle of alcohol.
I call shenanigans. Everybody knows snakes lost their right to feet after that one in Eden kept trying to touch Eve's boobs. Yes, I've read the Bible. He ended up stealing her nipples. And that, my flock, is where dried apricots come from. Amen.
Snake with foot found in China [telegraph]
Thanks to carmen, Matty and Chuck Nunchuck, who all have snaked feet. And this little piggy went to GAAAAAAAHH!!

Reader Comments
1. Dan - September 15, 2009 4:15 PM
fake! first! :)
2. Mike D. - September 15, 2009 4:18 PM
That leg probably tastes like chicken.
3. mallows - September 15, 2009 4:19 PM
^^ douche
4. naas - September 15, 2009 4:21 PM
@1 http://www.kellerpickem.com/4chan/bottleface.gif
5. naas - September 15, 2009 4:22 PM
@snakes w/ friggin feet http://galleries.thelondonpaper.com/snake-charmers-and-people-doing-weird-things-with-snakes/images/crazy-snake-people(01).jpg
6. meowmo - September 15, 2009 4:22 PM
actually... i think snakes evolved their shape from legs. someone must've deleted its A in its ATGAACGTAAGGTCACACTTTATATAHHAHAHAHAHAAAHA!!
7. sick to the power of me - September 15, 2009 4:24 PM
haha lizard SHORYUUKEN! now thats an awesome pet lizard....much better than mine who only keeps throwing up in my hand
8. naas - September 15, 2009 4:27 PM
@7 that's supposed to happen when you pet your lizard for a few minutes
9. sick to the power of me - September 15, 2009 4:35 PM
a few?
10. Ollie Williams - September 15, 2009 4:41 PM
Mmm.. apricots nipples.
11. naas - September 15, 2009 4:50 PM
a couple
12. Fade - September 15, 2009 4:51 PM
Nature, trying to stay ahead of the curve.
http://fade-to-extra.mybrute.com
13. Noah - September 15, 2009 5:00 PM
Stop making fun of the bible.
14. Wrathmanifested - September 15, 2009 5:04 PM
Awh why did ya have to kill it Asian Lady. LET SCIENCE KILL IT FOR YOU TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT HAHAHA!!
15. Mr. cow - September 15, 2009 5:06 PM
Moo
16. Checo - September 15, 2009 5:16 PM
I have a duck that can talk.. naah not really.
http://ubergosh.mybrute.com
17. LSDiesel - September 15, 2009 5:17 PM
This genetic anomaly could've held the cure for cancer, but instead, it was mercilessly beaten to death with the shoe of a chinese woman because it was icky.
18. naas - September 15, 2009 5:19 PM
that's no foot.....
19. Gargamel - September 15, 2009 5:21 PM
In other news...my snake IS a foot....get it? I'm talking length here ladies. (yes, of course I'm kidding...4"...hard...at best)
20. glace neuf - September 15, 2009 5:22 PM
man, that is some freaky shit if it is real...
21. Gargamel - September 15, 2009 5:26 PM
That snake would totally lose in an a$$ kicking contest.
22. naas - September 15, 2009 5:26 PM
@20 yup, the chinese have been like that lately http://www.sneeko.net/images/gifs1/10679095644109al.gif
23. meowmo - September 15, 2009 5:43 PM
@6 you are soo right! look at this: http://www.creation-vs-evolution.us/visual-evolution/snake_legs/cape_dwarf_burrowing_skink.jpg
24. yeah, and? - September 15, 2009 6:05 PM
@19 - some girls like it that thick....
25. Ollie Williams - September 15, 2009 6:05 PM
How is it that there haven't been any Snakes on a Plane references yet? For shame people, for shame indeed.
26. Iris - September 15, 2009 6:13 PM
whoa thats the 3rd post the word bitch appears in today
27. Milkman - September 15, 2009 7:12 PM
It's evolution!
Into a weird twisted mass of $hit
28. Lizzie - September 15, 2009 7:22 PM
I'm sick of these mother f*ckin' snakes with mother f*ckin'' FEET! clawing around on my mother f*ckin' wall!!!!
happy Ollie??
29. zorgon: king of lizards - September 15, 2009 7:30 PM
Many questions. Perhaps the beast was symbolic of the robot apocalypse. Everything in China is symbolic of something else. Why lady kill reptile? With only 1 leg, it's lopsided and probably couldn't move quick enough to catch anything to eat. Finally, what'd she do with it? Grill that thing up and break off a leg like it's Thanksgiving! Whoever gets the most toes gets good luck for a decade!
30. JFreezy - September 15, 2009 7:35 PM
I'm calling shenanigans too. The GW nailed it! Notice how the area around the protruding leg is bulky and misshapen as if the snake ate something and that something didn't go down without a fight. That dang Chinawoman just made up that BS story so she could try to be famous and get on GW's website!
@naas,
Gettin a little .gif crazy there fella LOL? They did turn out to be awesome .gifs though. I was not disapointed after I clicked them. I think from now on you should use that .gif for all the firsttards, brute fags, Daisy fakers, etc. To show my thanks, I have mailed you a lightsaber weilding chinchilla.
31. Spikey DaPikey - September 15, 2009 7:39 PM
Thats some freaky shít goin' on there !
32. HeyHey - September 15, 2009 7:47 PM
Woah!!
A 66 year old lady beat a snake to death with a shoe? Does she beat alot of scary things to death, or only the mutated animals?
33. ExZ - September 15, 2009 8:24 PM
A snake grows a foot and is beaten to death with a shoe, what irony!.
34. Heather - September 15, 2009 9:13 PM
@ 15
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? A FARKING SNAKE WITH A CLAW AND YOU WOULD NOT KILL IT?!?!
I don't even like spiders. If there were a snake... let alone a snake with a claw... that shit is dead, or Im outta there.
lol So for the sake of humanity, I hope no cancer curing spiders/snakes/bats?/ect comes into my home. Cause they be good as dead.
35. fuker - September 15, 2009 9:28 PM
beautiful woman her combat index to 3200.. is she still stay with her husband.. someone posted on yahoo answers that she has an profile on an online site
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36. ted - September 15, 2009 10:07 PM
@33. nice
looks like it ate something.
37. ted - September 15, 2009 10:10 PM
this snake grew legs and an arse!
http://www.memelo.org/person_inside_snake.gif
38. naas - September 15, 2009 10:38 PM
it's flipping YOU the bird
39. fetus_mcnuggets - September 15, 2009 11:28 PM
NATURAL SELECTION only works on the trait if the following occur
their is variety in the population
that variety (in trait) has a genetic component to back it up
and if that trait presents a selective advantage or disadvantage for that species
that hindleg is sooooooooooo gonna increase his reproductive fitness
its not even funny
40. Lucy - September 15, 2009 11:39 PM
No way would that chinese lady not have eaten that. Chinese people eat EVERYTHING... chicken feet, duck tongues, BIRDS NESTS even... a snake with a foot would have fetched top dollar in some restaurant. My mother in law would have beaten this women with a shoe, just to get the special snake to feed to my husband and brother so they would grow up and grow wings or something.
41. Beep Boop - September 16, 2009 12:47 AM
Beep.......Boop.
42. mrrgl - September 16, 2009 3:26 AM
@fetus_mcnuggets
natural selection requires mutations to work. mutations are shit 99.9% of the time. like a single developed leg on a snake. in this case, that snake got beaten to death with a shoe. thats natural selection.
snakes have tiny vestigal leg bones btw. one time in a bio lab, I left a snake in a jar on the windowsill for a couple weeks and then cleaned off the bones. lo and behold, a little bitty pair of pelvic bones.
43. gizmoduck - September 16, 2009 4:01 AM
where is pew pew pew when you need it
44. meowmo - September 16, 2009 4:55 AM
@23 omg don't you know you is comment on own comment.
45. Maria Woodruff - September 16, 2009 6:08 AM
nice way sharing information, its very freaky thing going there in china.
46. Mr. Laminate - September 16, 2009 6:42 AM
To met, it looks like someone melted half a frog on a snake's body.
(But then again, my wife says I gotta lay of the crack...)
47. woozlewazzle - September 16, 2009 6:57 AM
maybe she should have kept it as a pet and taught it to shake. That's a good snake, now here's a mouse.
48. Jaded Icon - September 16, 2009 7:18 AM
Actually it was evolving three more feet to become a lizard, but the woman killed it in mid metamorphosis.
49. Geekogee - September 16, 2009 7:21 AM
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50. Diciple - September 16, 2009 7:28 AM
Didn't that snake now God put a ban on snake legs?
CHINA MUST BE CLEANSED!!!!!!
51. kungfooboi - September 16, 2009 9:14 AM
we should get it to hold a lightsaber
52. STOMPY - September 16, 2009 9:14 AM
@25
your are right.... I'm tired of these mofo snakes, with these mofo feet!
http://soapeth.ytmnd.com/
53. Marius - September 16, 2009 9:25 AM
[quote]http://cgi.4chan.org/gif/src/1253107312905.gif[/quote]
54. STOMPY - September 16, 2009 9:34 AM
forsooth, I have grown but weary of yonder oedipal serpants, upon hither oedipal flying machine...
55. Cinema Obsessed - September 16, 2009 10:03 AM
That's horrendous. I would mess myself if I saw it climbing up the wall outside my window. Geez, something must be in the water over there to make something mutate like that... *shudder*
56. naas - September 16, 2009 10:08 AM
how the hell does something crawl up a wall with one foot, rubbish!! Clearly the thing stood up on it's tail & tried speaking chinese
57. Ollie Williams - September 16, 2009 10:50 AM
Thank you Lizzie. I now request you show me your boobies.
58. Real - September 16, 2009 12:22 PM
China:pollution:Freaks!
59. Gregor - September 16, 2009 5:09 PM
IF this IS real...
it completely baffles me. Evolution happens very slowly, but if there are remaining genes that stay dormant with a species and are somehow unlocked by mistakes in the coppying process(evolution) ... then this is truly remarkable. I don't think that could be possible. GAH! I'm baffled. This needs to be studied immediately.
60. Mr. pig - September 16, 2009 5:24 PM
Oink
61. Chesha - September 16, 2009 5:42 PM
It's called mutation. Mutations happen quickly. This one won't breed, how sad >: Leggy snakes of the future!
Snakes originally had legs, as noted by the presence of mini legs used for mating in pythons, I think. Have you seen the chickens they've been making into dinosaurs? Turning genes on and off results in what becomes a 'dinosaur'. This snake likely encountered something (o, idk, pollution? Yay over industrialization! :D) early in development, hence it's 'oh hell naw' lizard leg.
62. silverbiz - September 17, 2009 8:23 AM
Sh** I have to leave China ASAP
63. Delgo - September 18, 2009 1:46 PM
The snake, its..........learning
64. foo - September 18, 2009 3:32 PM
Uggs, the lightweight shoes are made from the skin of sheep and they are very soft. You can take a long walk wearing them and they are available in many colours like light brown.
65. Sparky - September 19, 2009 6:24 PM
Its Dragon Sperm
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67. stuuupiiid - September 21, 2009 2:57 AM
This snake is after dinner. The eaten animal must have had some post-mortal spasm in snakes stomach and the leg sticks out like this right now.
68. Web Development - September 22, 2009 1:04 AM
If she beat the thing to death in her closet, how did someone get a picture of it in it's natural habitat of the desert?
69. jeoiah;grohe;oahr - September 23, 2009 6:34 AM
what the f...
70. bertha - September 23, 2009 9:20 PM
yeah desert... cuz thats totally concrete
71. Bobeyo - September 24, 2009 10:26 AM
@34: Congratulations on being a typical human. You see something strange, and it frightens you just because you don't understand it, so you react with murderous violence. Who's the monster here? It or you?
72. Rick - September 24, 2009 6:33 PM
Atavism - wiki it, become informed (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atavism)
It's an evolutionary throwback, "Atavisms occur because genes for previously existing phenotypical features are often preserved in DNA, even though the genes are not expressed in some or most of the organisms possessing them."
Snakes evolved from legged lizards.
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74. asian sensation - September 28, 2009 12:42 PM
where is its head?
75. Kristen - September 28, 2009 5:51 PM
Ever heard of a legless lizard? They look just like snakes, except that they have ears, and lack heat sensing pits on their face. What with crossing over in chromosomes and mutations, a leg on a "snake" looking creature shouldn't be that surprising!