Sep 11 2009Noooo!: Prego-Bot Gives Birth To Robo-Son
In one of the most f'ed up things I've seen in recent history, the University of Arizona Medical Center has a robotic woman that gives birth to a robotic son so that medical students can witness the horrors of robotic birth firsthand.
Named Noelle, she grunts, screams, yells at the doctors, pees, bleeds -- and yes, even gives birth (to a cute little robot baby named Hal).
Paid for with a $40,000 grant from Miami-based Guarnard Scientific, the university bought Noell, baby Hal, and another, smaller robot-baby in January. Then Noelle was taken out of commission for a while when medical students (yelp!) broke her pelvic bone.an average of 20 medical students a week diagnose all sorts of birth complications like cesareans and breach births. Noelle can even hemorrhage, all while screaming in pain and yelling things like "don't touch me" at the medical students.
Great, at this rate she's gonna have like 1,000 babies a year. WHO KEEPS KNOCKING THIS ROBOTIC BITCH UP? I'm looking at you, shifty night patrolman! DUM DUM DUM!
University of Arizona Medical Students Help Robot Give Birth to Baby Robot [phoenixnewtimes]
Thanks to Demon Spawn, who get it pregnant with like thirty little devil babies.
Reader Comments
1. david penis - September 11, 2009 2:02 PM
YO MAMA
2. catch22 - September 11, 2009 2:03 PM
sexy!
3. Me - September 11, 2009 2:05 PM
im having a hysterectomy NOW
4. altaria1993 - September 11, 2009 2:07 PM
Why not let the students see a REAL birth and save $40000?
5. Milkman - September 11, 2009 2:12 PM
Gross. Don't they know vaginas are for hot chicks and getting laid?
What's this birth crap?
EW
6. Mr. cow - September 11, 2009 2:14 PM
Moo
7. Johnny B - September 11, 2009 2:14 PM
@4
Let them practice on robots.
Would you want a medical student 'taking their 1st crack at delivery' while delivering YOUR child?
Child birth is CRAZY!!!! I remember when my daughter was born (via c-section) it was the happiest/scariest moment of my life.
She wasn't breathing when she came out, but she is fine.
She'll turn 3 next month.
When my son was born, I made sure it was a seasoned doctor giving him a circumcision.... i don't want a 1st year resident messing up my son's baby maker.
8. Spikey DaPikey - September 11, 2009 2:15 PM
BURN IT WITH FIRE !!!!!
9. Jon H - September 11, 2009 2:27 PM
Not as bad as the proctological models.
But I wonder what the students were doing when they broke the pelvis.
10. Taylored - September 11, 2009 2:32 PM
Great. Just what we need... As if we do not have enough bleeding and screaming women.
11. Spam - September 11, 2009 2:35 PM
I knew it, youtube has a video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAzmC0uYKAY
12. Kyle - September 11, 2009 2:38 PM
AHHH!! robots never really scared me till now
13. Crash - September 11, 2009 2:40 PM
That....is terrifying. I kind of think the world may be ending soon.
14. gw luvah - September 11, 2009 2:46 PM
heheh my school has robots like this so we can practice taking pulses, blood pressure, listen to breath sounds, etc. they're PRETTY NEAT
15. LSDiesel - September 11, 2009 2:49 PM
They could've at least made her a MILF.
16. STOMPY - September 11, 2009 2:51 PM
@7
shut up, no one cares
thats right i'm back and grumpy... deal with it biitches
17. pregnant robotic cow - September 11, 2009 2:54 PM
Moo
18. Johnny B - September 11, 2009 2:59 PM
@16
Don't be pissy Stompy....
Its not our fault that the only thing you'll ever have sex with needs batteries.
19. Johnny B - September 11, 2009 3:01 PM
Stompy's mama got 'Play-Doh' teeth
20. naas - September 11, 2009 3:11 PM
I swear I've seen this before http://www.mrbudz.com/images/505_SAM.jpg
21. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - September 11, 2009 3:16 PM
I'll gladly take this option over having 20 med students watching a person...
22. Tennist0 - September 11, 2009 3:19 PM
WTF is wrong with these people?!?! not only is that robot giving birth, but the baby's name is HAL...I do believe that is a foreshadow
23. STOMPY - September 11, 2009 3:19 PM
@18
ya, you got me there, i did have to shove a few batteries up your moms arse to get her in the mood.... btw, here is my Johnny B impression.... ahem...
Wow, a robot giving birth. I had a kid once, it was born in a hospitol and it was sooo crazy. There were doctors and nurses and people running around. Speaking of running around i bought some new running shoes and I haven't even worn them yet... isn't that sooo crazy? Ya, a freind of mine likes to run, they also like movies... I remember this one movie....etc etc.
start a blog or something d-bag... only you can take a post about a robot and start talking about your son's penis....
24. Johnny B - September 11, 2009 3:20 PM
@20
LOL Great!
25. Johnny B - September 11, 2009 3:44 PM
@23
Why don't you do the world a favor....
slide the barrel into your mouth, then pull the trigger.
My point was that its better to practice on robots, than to practice on humans.
Flucking moron.
26. Pat - September 11, 2009 3:47 PM
............
27. Johnny B - September 11, 2009 3:52 PM
@23
and WTF are you talking about running shoes?
28. GoSS Jerk now sterilized for your pleasure - September 11, 2009 4:14 PM
this place needed a good Stompy refresh....
@ 27 How The F*** did your kids penis get dragged into this... i guess the sessoned doctor only left a little nub no larger that the balls... ahem..., no i take that back, it's genetic, he inherited his daddys little tickler
29. Chuey "The Rock 'n' Roll" Midget - September 11, 2009 4:24 PM
Can you have sex with it?
30. ciao - September 11, 2009 4:29 PM
that hand is even more creepier than the bots
31. naas - September 11, 2009 4:36 PM
@28 haha I was also wondering how the kids penis got in there, too damn funny as bad as that just sounded.
Indeed a good STOMPY refresher, it's too bad GFS isn't here to chime in - we'd all be on our way to Ollie's place with a gimp right now
32. naas - September 11, 2009 4:37 PM
..and by that I mean leather
33. naas - September 11, 2009 4:37 PM
& squirtguns
34. STOMPY - September 11, 2009 4:38 PM
@28
and to think I was gonna let this one go... and you throw some gas on the fire... two against one dumb ass, maybe if you didn't walk around showing complete strangers photos of you kids and their penis you would have freinds too....
35. naas - September 11, 2009 4:38 PM
& a trampoline
36. naas - September 11, 2009 4:39 PM
& a boyband poster w/ LSDiesel's face photochopped (dammit STOMPY) over the guy w. no shirt
37. Johnny B - September 11, 2009 5:05 PM
@28
I got something here to cripple your sister.
Why do you think your mom walks with a limp now?
Do you people live under power lines?
My point is that its better for med students to learn on dummies, rather than learn on humans. Would you want your son's junk to me messed up by a med student who doesn't know what their doing?
So STOMPY come on down to Philly and we'll let the rookie medical students work on your when i'm done stomping a mud hole in your chest!
30th & Market St
And why the hell are you talking about seeing photos of my son's penis?!
Pedofile
38. doro - September 11, 2009 6:05 PM
the way she screams is funny
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m2SZj0CnEB8
39. omega57 - September 11, 2009 7:28 PM
WHAT THE FU*K IS THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
40. shox shoes - September 11, 2009 10:47 PM
I bookmarked this site, Thank you for good job! Thank you! I would now go on this blog every day!
41. Al - September 12, 2009 12:44 AM
With this we have truly reached the nadir of the Uncanny Valley.
42. airmax - September 12, 2009 2:05 AM
I bookmarked this site, Thank you for good job! Thank you! I would now go on this blog every day!
43. Don - September 12, 2009 5:09 AM
what the HELL is that guy doing on the left-down picture....
44. Geekogee - September 13, 2009 8:39 AM
Must See!!!
http://alturl.com/obg7
________________
45. Graf Zeppelin - September 13, 2009 11:15 AM
good. now give birth to a toaster and a beertap. ok?
46. Lia - September 13, 2009 12:04 PM
We have those in my college...in the third world Philippines. This is so late.
47. hed - September 13, 2009 9:54 PM
My sister in law works at the company that makes these robots in Miami. She told me about it over a year ago. I get a good discount if anyone is interested.
48. somnomania - September 14, 2009 3:55 AM
"Miss Scarlett, I don't know nothing about birthing no babies!"
"Well, now you can, if you to the U of A! Go on, git."
49. Kaycee - October 4, 2009 8:13 PM
Super old info. We had Noelle in Nursing school 5 years ago.
50. STOMPY - October 23, 2009 2:01 PM
ha, i got the last word after all Johnny B....
word