Oct 3 2009 It's On eBay: A Sarah Palin Signed XBox 360

Want an XBox 360 signed by Sarah Palin? Me neither. But if you still want to go and blow a cool $1.1 million on one, congratulation, you're an idiot. Also, what's your home address?

The infamous Sarah Palin XBOX 360 was autographed at the governors picnic on July 24, 2009, in Wasilla, Alaska, just two days before her resignation as governor of that state. You can own this 60GB, perfect-condition, one-of-a-kind item before her expected run for president of the United States of America in 2012.

When the governors picnic took place, there were hordes of people trying to see her, but I pushed my way through the crowd to the front of the line. When I was in front of Sarah Palin, I told her that I had traveled three days to see her and asked her to sign my Xbox360. She said it was the most extravagant thing she had ever been asked to sign. I shook her hand, removed myself from the crowd, and then I packed up my Xbox360 and headed home. It was one of the greatest thrills of my life to have watched Sarah Palin on CNN, SNL, Youtube, and then to see her right in front of me.

What the hell's the matter with this guy? Reminds me of all the idiots trying to sell Wii's for $1 million the week before Christmas. Just saying, I wouldn't even pay that for a console signed by Princess Peach AND Zelda. I would pay that for one signed by The Geekologie Writer though. Contact me for more info.

Hit the jump for a picture of Palin signing it.

Continue Reading " It's On eBay: A Sarah Palin Signed XBox 360 "

Oct 3 2009 Twilight: The Way It Should Have Been

This is video from G4's Attack of the Show (featuring Kevin Pereira and Olivia Munn) depicting what Twilight would have been like if there was a just and fair God. But there isn't, so guess who'll be watching New Moon opening night? NOT ME! My guess is a shit-ton of 13-year old girls. Plus your girlfriend.

Olivia Munn`s Twilight: Don`t Date Vampires [iambored]

Thanks to me.vicky, who once bit the head off a bat because she thought she heard it talking in vampire-speak.

Oct 3 2009 Needs More Cowbell: Geekologie Reader's Christopher Walken Ballpoint Portrait

This is a ballpoint pen portrait of everyone's favorite half-zombie Christopher Walken by loyal Geekologie Reader and comic book artist Jesse Starr. It was created in approximately 30 hours with no errors using nothing but black Bic ballpoint pens. Good lookin', Jesse -- I sure as hell could never do that. You see, I'm too prone to making mistakes. I'm looking at you, son. Kidding! But call your sisters in here so I can look at them.

UPDATE: Portrait is available for sale ($2K) on eBay HERE.

Hit the jump for two more shots of the impressiveness.

Continue Reading " Needs More Cowbell: Geekologie Reader's Christopher Walken Ballpoint Portrait "

Oct 2 2009 Frightening: Conceptual Solar Powered BMW

This is a conceptual solar powered BMW. It may look like a fish, but it's not, it's a car, silly! Well, not a real car, cause it's only a concept. Like me. I ONLY EXIST YOUR INTERNET!

Created by 24-yo German designer Anne Forschner, the Lovos stands fo Lifestyle of Voluntary Simplicity. Each of those scales--which are replaceable and turn constantly to align with the sun--is covered with solar cells.

Now I'm no aerodynamicist, but that shit looks like it'll slow you down. AND I CAN'T DRIVE 55, know what I'm saying? It's against my law! The Geekologie law of awesome. Which, honestly, makes gravity look like a little bitch.

Hit the jump for a bunch more shots of the craziness.

Continue Reading " Frightening: Conceptual Solar Powered BMW "

Oct 2 2009 Google Search AutoComplete To The Rescue

I do that shit all the time. ALL. THE. TIME.

Google (go type "I like" to see for yourself)

Thanks to b00m, who likes to tape a bedsheet to his arms and pretend he's a pterodactyl.

Oct 2 2009 Amazing Carl Sagan/Stephen Hawking Song

This is a bunch of scenes from Carl Sagan's Cosmos series (miss you, Carl!) remixed to make a song. It is awesome. Plus, Stephen Hawking laid down some phat vocals, so it's double sweet. Like eating a scoop of birthday cake ice cream and a scoop of birthday cake batter ice cream AT THE SAME TIME. Except not that good because there's nothing better than that.

Youtube (more info, lyrics and a link to downloads available there)

Thanks to Paul, who has traveled to the far ends of the cosmos and verified that Geekologie is, in fact, the best website in the universe. Also, the man's seen alien snatch.

Oct 2 2009 Make Your Own Mario Piranha Plant Scarf

This is a Piranha Plant scarf made by craftster user enemyairship. Careful wearing one though, it might nip at your genitals!

Here's another Mario related project of mine...actually I just noticed that the only projects I've posted here are Mario inspired! I saw a project similar to this one on Ravelry and just had to have a go at it.

This is a Piranha Plant scarf that I made for my bf's younger sister. She's either a Junior or Senior in high school.

If you want to try knitting your own she has the pattern explained in the thread(!). I thought it was taking a stab at, but I'm no good with needles. I ended up mainlining a whole ball of yarn!

Hit the jump to see a picture of the scarf's maker modeling it.

Continue Reading " Make Your Own Mario Piranha Plant Scarf "

Oct 2 2009 Serious Eye Candy: Amazing Photograph Of The World's Tallest Rocket Blasting Off

This is a photo of the world's tallest rocket blasting off for outerspace without me. Damnit, I packed a sack lunch and everything! HOLLER AT YOUR BOY, NASA. Come on -- I'll bring you back an alien corpse!

You're looking at the 253.2-foot Delta 4-Heavy lifting off from launch complex 37B at Cape Canaveral, and yes, that's actually a photograph. Good thing the camera was remotely triggered by photographer Ben Cooper, who used sound activation to snap this shot while he was safely ensconced 3 miles away.

We feel sorry for that camera, though, whose lens was destroyed. The good news is, the camera itself somehow survived this hellish inferno as the world's tallest unmanned rocket roared away from its launchpad.

Impressive, huh? We've certainly come a long way since people thought the world was round, am I right? IT'S A D-20 YOU IDIOTS. God loves D&D! Now, gimme a roll for drunkenness, big guy. 19! BLAAAAAAAHH!!

World's tallest rocket roars away, captured in spectacular photo [dvice]

Oct 2 2009 Kill It With A Toaster Oven!: WALL-E Sandwich

Anna the Red, best known for her incredible video-game themed Bento boxes, went and made a WALL-E on wheat. She has a tutorial on how to make your own over at her website if you're interested, so I went ahead and printed it out and gave it to my mom. Gosh, I hope I get a juicebox too!

Hit the jump for a couple more shots showing off WALL-E's 3-Dness.

Continue Reading " Kill It With A Toaster Oven!: WALL-E Sandwich "

Oct 2 2009 Star Trek The Next Generation: Wesley Crusher Finally Gets What He Deserves

This is a fan edited video of the hateable ensign Wesley Crusher finally meeting his doom. I thought it was pretty cute. Cause, to tell ya the truth, I never really liked that guy. Something about him always rubbed me the wrong way -- like another man's penis on the side of my leg. Just sayin', it happens!

Youtube

Thanks to Paul, who would have just tasered that bitch and pushed him out an airlock.

Oct 2 2009 eBay: Amazing Optimus Prime Action Figure

Up on the auction block is a $45 Hasbro Optimus Prime action figure that's been meticulously modded and painted to match the leader of the Autobot's appearance in Revenge of the Fallen. The level of detail is amazing. Unfortunately, so is the price: bidding is currently at $730 with just under six hours remaining. So yeah, bid away if you want to blow a cool grand this afternoon. But if you want to blow up a cool air mattress, let me now -- I have guests coming to stay the weekend. Now transform and blow till you pass out!

Hit the jump for several more shots, including what the toy looked like before modification.

Continue Reading " eBay: Amazing Optimus Prime Action Figure "

Oct 2 2009 One Step Closer To Evolutionary 'Missing Link'

Scientists believe they're one step closer to human evolution's "missing link" with the discovery of new skeletal remains in Ethiopia.

Humanity has a new older sister. A fossilized skeleton of Ardipithecus ramidus or "Ardi" predates Lucy by over a million years. The discovery has led to new insights about human evolution, suggesting previously unknown relationships to our chimpanzee brethren.

The paleobiologists studying Ardi identify hers as an "intermediate" form, one that is bipedal, but at the same time capable of walking on all forms and traveling through trees. Still, although she represents a point past hominids' evolutionary break with gorillas and chimpanzees, she is very different from modern apes. For example, Ardi's had flat hands and feet and flexible wrists, and engaged in a form of locomotion called palmigrady, which is a trait of ancient apes and unlike gorillas and chimpanzees, which are stiff-wristed knuckle-walkers. This suggests that gorilla and chimp ancestors developed their knuckle-walking long after their evolutionary break with hominids.

Interesting. And by interesting I mean Ardi looks like your mom but with nicer tits. AND trim.

New Fossil Discovery is the Closest We've Come to the Missing Link [io9]

Thanks to Julian, who would hit anything with opposable thumbs.

Oct 1 2009 Looks Safe To Me: A Power Line Bridge

This is a picture of Philippine residents using power lines as a bridge in wake of the recent Typhoon Ketsana (bitch). EDIT: It is sad and Geekologie wishes everyone affected the best. Plus jetpacks.

Using Power Lines as a Bridge Seems Incredibly Dangerous [gizmodo]

Oct 1 2009 Website Maps People's Sexual Escapades

Honestly, I don't even know what a sexual escapade is. But if it's anything like the Ice Capades you can count me in! No, seriously, I love skating. Anyway, IJustMadeLove.com is a website where users can let the rest of the world they just made love and where the deed was done. Because there's nothing more romantic after coitus than rushing to your laptop to tell the world you just touched a vagina. And as you can see from the map above, basically only North and South Americans are doing it. Plus a couple people in Europe, but they don't count because their penises are notoriously small. INTERCONTINENTAL BURN! But seriously, don't stop reading, Euro fans. You can stop sending pictures though.

IJustMadeLove

Thanks to Romeo, who just pointed out I'm the number one contribuer to IJustMadeLoveToMyself.com

Oct 1 2009 Huge Cache Of Dinosaurs Eggs Found In India

In promising dinosaur-cloning news, hundreds of football-sized Sauropod eggs have been uncovered in India. Secretary, book me a flight! Oh, wait, they're all infertile. Secretary, cancel that flight and order me a pizza!

"The important finding is that these eggs have been found in different layers that means the dinosaurs came to the place over and over year after year," he said.

"The second important thing is that we have got volcanic ash deposits on the eggs which suggests that volcanic activity could have caused their extinction.

"The other thing we have found is that all these eggs are unhatched and infertile. So what made the eggs infertile? We need to carry out further studies to learn more from the findings."

Dr Ramkumar and his team have called on the central and state governments to protect what they are calling a "Jurassic treasure trove".

Hell yes, Jurassic treasure trove. That's better than pirate gold in my book. And my book is awesome and has COLOR ILLUSTRATIONS OF ME BONING DINOSAURS (tasteful ones). Just saying, go ahead and send the Caldecott to my parent's house.

Dinosaur eggs are found in India [bbcnews]

Thanks to Spikey DaPikey and Awesome Saucer, who have a time machine and may or may not be responsible for some of those eggs (read: the eggs are infertile so I suspect they are).

Oct 1 2009 Pew Pew Pew!: Fallout 3 Laser Rifle Replica

Harrison Krix of Volpin Props (who also made the amazingly realistic ADAM syringe) went and constructed an accurate replica of the AER9 Laser Rifle from Fallout 3 out of wood. In 30 hours. With only minimal black magic. I want it. After all, life is all about the pews. Obvioiusly, I'm talking about those chairs at church. I can't stand and pray for shit!

Build Page [volpinprops] (with a ton of pics, including the build)
and
Make your own Fallout 3 laser rifle for fun and profit [dvice]

Thanks to Trav and SC2ZERGOMG, who once shot each other in the eyes with lasers and are now both legally blind. Good going, guys. At least you get eyepatches!

Oct 1 2009 For Sale: The World's Largest Gummi Bears

I have no idea if these five pound gummi bears are, in fact, the world's largest commercially available sugar bombs, but I do know they look rats and not bears.

The World's Largest Gummy Bear is the lion of the candy world. There is no candy more magnificent or more powerful. This five-pound beast is the equivalent of 1,400 regular sized gummy bears and packs a whopping 12,600 calories.

Its monstrous size is only matched by its enormous taste. The World's Largest Gummy Bear tastes just as delicious as its pint-sized counterpart.

Available in several flavors: blue raspberry, red cherry, and green apple. Hand-made in the USA.

Each bear will set you back $30 plus whatever you incur at the dentist. Which, if you play your cards right and flirt with the hygienist, could be a tank of nitrous. Just saying, A-WAHWAHWAHWAHWAHWAH. I feel like I'm on a spaceship!

Hit the jump for a moderately humorous commercial for the things.

Continue Reading " For Sale: The World's Largest Gummi Bears "

Oct 1 2009 Not Dangerous Enough: Jet Powered Carousel

Whenever I think "jet-powered" I think of rocketpacks and blasting off to the moon with a bubble helmet on and then playing hide-and-seek amongst the craters. Secondly, I think of danger and how much fun it is almost dying but then escaping death at the last second and flipping the grim reaper the bird right when he's reaching for you with his scythe. Yeah, I do that all the time. But one thing I don't do all the time (or ever for that matter) is ride a rocket-powered merry-go-round. It just looks too tame. Admittedly, the carousel's shoddy construction did look promising in the beginning, but in the end it's just two guys who might have well taped bottle rockets to their backs. I WANTED TO SEE ONE OF THOSE BITCHES LAUNCHED INTO ORBIT! Or at least a tree. Hurt video needs more hurt.

Skip to 1:30 for the action. And I did like the flames.

Madmen cling to jet-powered merry-go-round [theregister]

Thanks to srvr, who hates vowels.

Oct 1 2009 Luke, Let's Hit The Sauna: Jedi Bathrobes

I don't really wear robes because I got kicked out of wizard school and I'm more of a boxer and undershirt kind of guy, but I might make an exception for this $95 Jedi joint. Just kidding. Still, it would look good on you though.

Star Wars fans rejoice! The Jedi Dressing Gowns are here! What could be better on an evening than strutting around in your Jedi robe, making sure your little Lightsaber doesn't inadvertently pop out due to your lack of jimmy-jams? The Jedi Dressing Gown is made of soft 100% cotton velour and has a Jedi logo embroidered on the front. The bath robe's large hood, sash belt and wide sleeves are classic features of a Jedi robe. Will you be seduced by the dark side (your smelly old bathrobe with cat hair all over the back) or will you fight for justice...or at least the last Jaffa Cake...in a brand new Jedi Dressing Gown?

Wow. I'm not sure if that's how you sell Jedi robes or not, but I'm guessing not. As a matter of fact, that product description has convinced me to go out and buy the exact opposite of a Jedi bathrobe. Which I don't actually know what is. Maybe a Sith bra or something.

Product Site
via
jedi bath robe: obi-wants one [technabob]

Thanks to Smee, who, no stopping me this time, Smee. This is it. Don't make a move Smee, not a step. My finger's on the trigger. Don't try to stop me, Smee. This is it. Don't try to stop me this time, Smee.

Oct 1 2009 Not For Combat: Sweet Master Sword Replica

This is a wicked looking Master Sword replica made by Fiberglass Blades, a cosplay and collector prop maker. And if you couldn't guess by the name, the blade isn't actually real. It's resin! So good luck killing a thief with one. But I still want it!

This replica of Link's Master Sword from Zelda: Twilight Princess is a perfectly accurate cosplay and collector prop. The sword was made with durable resin and reinforced with aluminum or fiberglass rods for structural support, making it well balanced for carrying as a cosplay prop. The paint was custom automotive paint for a metallic and mirror-like shine, and to resist minor scratches. The sword measures about 42" long, and weighs about 3lbs. The sheath was lined with suede and soft foam to keep the blade firmly in place, and prevent scratches while sheathing. The sword was also made for a Dark Link version as well.

Dude says prices typically run between $400-$600, but I don't know exactly how much this one is. Which is probably a good thing, cause then I'd start saving my money with a goal in mind. Now? Now I just blow whatever I have on booze and unhealthy food. It works for me. Can I borrow $1?

Hit the jump for a bunch more shots, including a sweet-ass Hylian Shield which is also available.

Continue Reading " Not For Combat: Sweet Master Sword Replica "

Sep 30 2009 OMG, It's Got A Bomb!: The Terrorist Teapot

Damn yeah two food related posts in a row. HUNGER CAN'T HOLD ME DOWN! Know what I'm sayin'? Jesus, I hope somebody does. Just one person even. I'm so tired of feeling alone. Anyway, a $39 terrorist teapot: the queen would not approve.

Think teapots are outdated and belong in your grandmother's kitchen? Think again. The Terrorist Teapot takes a threatening stance against anyone trying to mess with your perfectly brewed tea with a tea cosy that doubles as a balaclava. We can think of other uses for it... but you should probably reserve it for keeping the pot warm.

Personally, I love a spot of tea in the afternoon. And by tea I mean tea in the Jack Kerouac On The Road sense. I'm talking weed, damnit. Except I don't really smoke that shit because my mom is probably reading this (but I do so somebody get me high). Ha, what do you mean parents can read between parenthesis? LIES!

Product Site

Thanks to Guido B, who enjoys his tea with a side of "it fell off tha back of a truck".

Sep 30 2009 It's About Time!: A Dinosaur Serving Spoon

I can honestly say I've never wanted to have sex with a bowl of noodles so bad in my entire life. Well, that's not entirely true.

Product Site

Thanks to Carolina, who only eats her pasta the way god intended: with Mario and Luigi.

Sep 30 2009 100% Badass: Monkey Island 2 Rendered 3D

This is a video of some of the scenery in Monkey Island 2 rendered in 3D using the Crysis engine. It is by far the most beautiful thing I've seen in recent history (not including that glimpse I caught of myself getting out of the shower Monday).

This video is an experiment done for fun. It demonstrates how original Monkey Island 2 backgrounds look and feel in a modern 3d game engine. The sets were built using Maya and then exported into Cryengine's Sandbox editor.

Was that not awesome? Cause it most definitely was. And in other Monkey Island news, the third serial in the latest Monkey Island series just dropped yesterday, so I've been playing it in between posts. A strong work ethic: I have one. Also, left hook. POW! Haha, you didn't believe me! Look at yourself, lying there bleeding, you oughta be ashamed! Unless you're a girl, in which case that was totally the guy behind me.

Project Site

Thanks to Martyn, who once killed a three-headed monkey and had it stuffed and mounted in his rumpus room.

Sep 30 2009 Bad Idea: American Girl Makes Homeless Doll

You see that doll there? Her name's Gwen, and she's the latest release from the American Girl company. Plus, she's homeless. WTF!? Where's her 1991 Chicago Bull's NBA Championship shirt and mix-matched shoes?

For $95 -- more than your average homeless person would dream of spending on a rather mediocre baby substitute -- Gwen Thompson can be yours. A mixed message if ever there was one.

In the history books that come with every American Girl doll -- bringing to life these little monsters until impressionable little ones believe they are actual people -- you learn that Gwen's father walked out on the family. Her mother lost her job.

As the little kiddies learn to read about this doll as if she's a human being, one learns that, as fall turned into winter, Gwen's mom lost her grip.

Mother and daughter started bedding down in a car.

JESUS. Where's the part about her mom turning tricks in the backseat of that Buick in order to afford Gwen's dress? Just saying, those things don't grow on street lamps. And, as a guy who's no stranger to "bedding down" in the back of a car, trust me: they never really have free candy.

'Homeless' doll costs $95 (hairstyling extra) [nypost]

Thanks to Kristin, who once bought a heroin-addict doll but returned it when she found out it came with real used needles.

Sep 30 2009 Video Game Character Facebook Statuses

These are a bunch of video game character Facebook status updates. I thought they were pretty cute. And if you haven't already, you should go join the Geekologie Facebook page to help convince my parents they're not the only ones that read this. Mom: I know most of the comments are you, you don't have to keep doing it (but you should if you really love me). And dad: for the last time, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE try to keep the flaming to a minimum.

5 Video Game Status Updates [collegehumor]

Thanks to Hayes, who, for the tip, get's a complimentary status update. Make it read, "Still cool".

Continue Reading " Video Game Character Facebook Statuses "

Sep 30 2009 You'd Be Better Off Making Your Own: Max's Wolf Suit From Where The Wild Things Are

This is a reproduction of the wolf suit worn by Max in Maurice Sendak's iconic Where The Wild Things Are (soon to be a major motion picture!) manufactured by Opening Ceremony. I thought it was pretty damn cool until I saw they're charging $610. Now it's not. At all.

"by staring into their yellow eyes without blinking once", max was made the king of the wild things. you can achieve his look far more easily with max's iconic wolf play suit. identical to the one illustrated by maurice sendak and brought to life by spike jonze, our collaborative piece with the director features a super soft faux fur one piece with six brown buttons down the front, a snap off faux raccoon fur tail, attached fingerless gloves, and a hood with attached ears and a snap closure at the neck.

Yeah, I'm just gonna make my own, thanks. And by make my own I mean have one of you folks do it. Last time I tried making my own costume I woke up with my head sewn to the arm of the couch and a cat sitting on my cheek bare asshole. TUCK YOUR TAIL UNDER NEXT TIME, GOD!

Product Site
via
$610 Max Suit [buzzfeed]

Thanks to Stephanie, Carlos and jack, who all thought it was a bunny costume.

Sep 30 2009 Video Game Deletes Files Off Your Computer

Lose/Lose is a video game created by Zach Gage that plays like a traditional space shooter, but with a twist!

Lose/Lose is a video-game with real life consequences. Each alien in the game is created based on a random file on the players computer. If the player kills the alien, the file it is based on is deleted. If the players ship is destroyed, the application itself is deleted.

Although touching aliens will cause the player to lose the game, and killing aliens awards points, the aliens will never actually fire at the player. This calls into question the player's mission, which is never explicitly stated, only hinted at through classic game mechanics. Is the player supposed to be an aggressor? Or merely an observer, traversing through a dangerous land?

Why do we assume that because we are given a weapon an awarded for using it, that doing so is right?

I didn't actually bother reading all that because oh I dunno, I WAS TOO BUSY WHIPPING SOME ALIEN ASS! Unfortunately, the bug-eyed bastards got me in the end. Now, what happened to Photoshop?

Zach's Porfolio (game is available for download there)

Thanks to Luciano, who managed to kill all the aliens AND save the princess AND see Samus Aran naked because the man is a damn hero.

Sep 30 2009 Slings Let The World Know How You Did It

This is a series of slings that lets the rest of the world know how you went and broke your arm. And as a guy who's broken his thumb once and arm twice, I've got to admit: it's never stopped me from still doing dumb shit all the time. High-five for never learning lessons! But seriously, now I've got a wonk-arm now with a giant metal plate and screws in it that sends shockwaves up my arm whenever I try to do push-ups. Which is EXACTLY why I don't work out. AND HELL YES I SET OFF AIRPORT METAL DETECTORS! Just like Luke Skywalker -- except I'VE never tried slipping my sister the tongue. Step-sisters don't count!

Illustrative Slings Show How That Arm Got Boned [gizmodo]

Thanks to Romeo, whose magnetic personality alone is enough to set off an airport metal detector.

Sep 30 2009 Massive Gallery Of Star Wars Cupcakes

This is a large gallery of Star Wars cupcakes. Also there might be a cake or two in there, I can't remember. But you're going to look at them all. And not just because I spent all the time resizing and uploading them, but because they're precious. Like emeralds. And little babies. Geez, what is it with me and babies recently? I'll tell you -- I'm late. No, like late late. Please don't tell my parents! If they found out I was carrying a stuffed dinosaur's baby they'd kill me laugh their asses off and ask when I'm gonna move out of the basement already.

Hit the jump for 17 more of the intergalactic deliciousness.

Continue Reading " Massive Gallery Of Star Wars Cupcakes "

Sep 29 2009 Good Lookin': Steampunk Arcade Machine

This is a steampunk arcade machine built from scratch by Dough Haffner, a 9 1/2 fingered carpenter (not unlike Jesus' father! No, not God. The other one). At least that's all he's lost! Because there's nothing worse than only being able to count to seven on all your fingers.

I thought I'd pass on a project I've been working on for a couple weeks. I am a Steampunk fan, to be sure...but also a fan of old horror films. I thought it would be fun to take both and combine them for a "MAME" arcade cabinet. You probably know what that is, but put simply it's an application that allows you to play arcade games (pac-man, donkey kong, etc) on a pc. By building a cabinet, you can get some of the feel and fun of the old days of playing video games at the local arcade. My cabinet combines some of the victorian elements found in steampunk with electrical mad-scientist designs from the man behind Karloff's Frankenstein lab(Strickfaden). I'm finishing up the Marquee (the machine name plate usually found at the top of a cabinet) and will post pictures of that soon....

Good looking, Doug. I don't care if you are missing a partial digit, you're alright in my book. Fun fact: I don't have a pinky toe on my right foot. Kidding, but it is broken all the time. So it's practically gone. And that, my friends, is what I blame for walking funny (but truthfully it's because one leg is longer and I stay drunk all the time).

Hit the jump for a couple more shots of the impressiveness.

Continue Reading " Good Lookin': Steampunk Arcade Machine "

Sep 29 2009 Super Mario 2 With Hardcore Commentary

NOTE: Video is NSFW due to language.

This is a video of some guy playing Super Mario 2 with running hardcore commentary. I thought it was pretty funny. And the couple of people that I sent it to thought it was pretty funny too. But hey, maybe you'll think it's stupid. That's cool, you can't please everybody. And trust me, I've tried. Remember that 2007 Geekologie Gangbang? There were a lot of you guys just standing around all awkward-like. Sorry.

Super Mario Bros. 2 played by someone Hardcore [poetv]

Thanks to JDarkside, who lives HER whole life hardcore cause that's all she knows.

Sep 29 2009 Limited Edition Timepieces From Tokyoflash

This is a line of limited edition Casio watches available from Tokyoflash. Now I know what you're thinking, "Gosh, it's been forever -- I didn't think we'd eeeever see any more Tokyoflashes here on Geekologie." Well think again, suckers! Like a Phoenix, Tokyoflash is a fiery dragon created by Gaia to rise from a Japanese ashtray and aid Godzilla in ridding the world of our robotic overlords. And these designs, nowhere near as tricky to read as Tokyoflash's typical offerings, are perfect for those of you with special needs. I ordered the Cubic Puzzle model for myself. What? There's no shame in my special needs game! Now, help me tie this shoe, it's being tricky.

Product Page (one other limited edition model from Riki HERE)

Sep 29 2009 Death By Plastic: Gallery Of LEGO Monsters

This is a small gallery of LEGO monsters made by various artists. They are all scary and might kill you. Sure they're really just a bunch of interlocking plastic bits, but has that ever stopped me from choking on them? No, it hasn't. The Hannibal Lecter style mask my mom makes me wear does. I WILL EAT YOUR FACE OFF! Just kidding. NO I'M NOT! Yes, I really am. PSYCHE, JUST PUT YOUR EAR BETWEEN THE BARS. DO IT NOW!

Hit it for the monsters, including a pretty sweet Predator bust.

Continue Reading " Death By Plastic: Gallery Of LEGO Monsters "

Sep 29 2009 She's So....Beautiful: How To Fix Your Baby's Misshapen Nog

Let's be honest with ourselves: our children, when first born, are ugly and their heads are all smushed cause they just got squeezed through a vagina like the last of the toothpaste. And by "our" I mean "your" because I don't have any kids. But now there's hope for your little football-head thanks to Cranial Technologies. Basically they'll design a custom helmet for your child that exerts light pressure on their dome to mash that melon back into shape. Plus, they're fully customizable with stickers and paint! For a small fee, I'll even sign the thing like a cast. And for a large fee I'll whip anybody's ass that makes fun of your child's helmet. HELMETS ARE THE NEW HAIR, FOLKS, YOU WATCH!

Product Site

Thanks to Jordan, who was born with a perfect shaped head because he burst out of his mother's chest like an alien.

Sep 29 2009 I'm Not Sitting On It: Real Robotic Transformer

This is a real-life Transformer (OmniZero.9, the brainchild of Takeshi Maeda) that can morph from a humanoid robot to a humanoid robot that can carry a person, to a wheeled cart. Just watch how scary it is when it moves. If I didn't know better, I'd swear there was a little person in there. But there isn't! Just wires and servos and a metallic heart of death. Which, true story, only beats for the destruction of the human race. And speaking of which: One time I competed in a three-legged race solo.

Hit the jump for a video of the robot battling another, much smaller one.

Continue Reading " I'm Not Sitting On It: Real Robotic Transformer "

Sep 29 2009 Fight: Rainbow Brite Vs. Strawberry Shortcake

This is a piece of handpainted art by Jude Buffum (prints available at his site) showing Rainbow Brite kicking Strawberry Shortcake's head off Mortal Kombat fatality style. There's another one of a Carebear (who I suspect is Tenderheart Bear) ripping Teddy Ruxpin's heart out after the jump. I especially liked that one. Because as many of you may know, Teddy was my first and last robotic lover. Yeah, I caught him trying to kiss my Spike plushie from The Land Before Time. Insight: you have some now.

Hit the jump for one more and a Big Lebowski print I liked as well.

Continue Reading " Fight: Rainbow Brite Vs. Strawberry Shortcake "

Sep 29 2009 It's About Time: A Bacon Of The Month Club

Hell yeah a bacon of the month club. Truthfully, I only thought there was one kind of bacon (delicious), but what do I know? I'm just a man who has all his meals prepared for him by a non-robotic bartender. Anyway, for a staggering $315 you can join the Grateful Palate BOTM Club and get:

- A different artisan bacon delivered to your door each month for 12 months

- Informative notes on all bacon selections
- Discounts on The Grateful Palate bacon products and bacons
- Bacon of the Month Club Membership Card
- The bacon strip - our members only monthly bacon comic strip
- The Bacon of the Month Club Pig Ballpoint Pen
- A little Rubber Toy Pig
- One free Bacon Tee Shirt
- A recipe each month using the bacon selected
- Discounts on suggested wines and products in recipes
- And a pig nose!

Wow, I don't need half that stuff. How much for just the bacon, membership card and comic strip? Because I'm willing to go as high as $28. Just sayin', that's more than $2/month -- I don't even pay that in child support. Yay for aliases!

The Grateful Palate Bacon of the Month Club

Thanks to kyle, who should start a sexy of the month club cause damn he looks good.

Sep 28 2009 McDomination: Map Of McDonalds In The US

This is a graphic representation of all the McDonalds restaurants in the United States. As you might be able to tell, there are a lot of them. Some might even say a McMillion. But they'd be wrong, because there's only 13,000.

This map is the brainchild of Stephen Von Worley, who got to thinking about the strip malls sprawling out along I-5 in California's ever less rural Central Valley: "Just how far can you get from generic convenience? And how would you figure that out?"

There are over 13,000 McDonald's restaurants in the US, or about 1 for every 23,000 Americans. But even market penetration this advanced doesn't mean that McDonald's is everywhere. Somewhere in South Dakota is the McFarthest Spot, the place in the US geographically most removed from the nearest McD's (*). If you started out from this location, a few miles north of State Highway 20 (which runs latitudinally between Highways 73 in the west and 65 in the east), you'd have to drive 145 miles to get your Big Mac (if you could fly, however, it'd be only 107 miles).

So you think the folks in Bumfack, South Dakota, are any skinnier than the rest of the population? Because I bet not. And no, this isn't me endorsing fast food. But one time I did find two onion rings in my fries at Burger King. Yeah, so who's the real king now? Gimme that crown, bitch!

413 - The McFarthest Place: 145 Mi to the Nearest Big Mac [strangemaps]

Thanks to Edminster and twellve, who only go to McDonalds when McRibs are in season.

Sep 28 2009 Video: 100 Youtube "Greatest Hits" In 3:24

This is a video montage of 100 of Youtube's "greatest hits" in a scant 3:24. I recognized most of them, but there were some I hadn't seen before. And those, my friends, were the sucky ones.

NOTE: It's best to stop after the Leroy Jenkins clip. It's all downhill from there.

Youtube

Thanks to Harry, who was responsible for at least 10 of Redtube's greatest hits.

Sep 28 2009 I Would Ride In That: Super Luxuriant Brabus Mercedes-Benz Viano Lounge/Mobile Office

This is the interior of the 2010 Brabus Mercedes-Benz Viano Lounge. As you can see, it has everything a person could want in a van. Except little kids. I'm looking at you, pederast!

Aside from its 426hp 6.1L V8 engine, the 2010 Brabus Mercedes-Benz Viano Lounge features a 32-inch LCD, two Sony VAIO laptops, a PlayStation 3, Nespresso machine, and even a Vertu Constellation phone. Unfortunately, this is just a concept...for now.

"Two power comfort seats provide maximum comfort for both rear passengers. Similar to long-distance flights in business class both seats can be reclined to full sleeping position at the push of a button."

I, for one, would not be ashamed to be driven around in this thing. I don't care if it looks like a soccermom mobile from the outside, I would totally hang out in the back and get my business on. And by business, I quite literally mean business. I've got money to make, son, no time for hanky panky! Mobile counterfeiting lab FTW.

Hit the jump for a couple more shots.

Continue Reading " I Would Ride In That: Super Luxuriant Brabus Mercedes-Benz Viano Lounge/Mobile Office "

Sep 28 2009 Stop Smoking The Pew Way: Laser Cessation

Apparently laser therapy has been in practice for awhile, but did you know it could help you stop smoking? I didn't. I'm gonna put the pole down forever! Kidding -- I can't quit you!

* We highly recommend you stop smoking 1-hour prior to your session. (Not required)

* Therapy will take place with a laser technician who will gently stimulate acupuncture points, primarily on the hands, face and ear.
* During the session the emotional and psychological aspects of quitting smoking will be addressed.
* During and after treatment you'll feel relaxed, comfortable and peaceful. There is no pain associated with the treatment.
* Afterwards you'll be able to go back to your normal activities. Most notable effects occur between 18-24 hours after the treatment.
* In general, it takes the average smoker 3-4 days to rid the body of nicotine or its by-products after stopping.

So basically it's acupuncture with a laserbeam. Sounds kind of suspect to me. But who knows, maybe it works. Anybody quit smoking something (anything -- I don't care what) this way? Also, what the hell's about to happen in that picture -- butthurt smoking cessation? Cause that sounds promising.

Product Site

Thanks to Trevor, who actually smokes laserbeams because he's that hardcore.

Sep 28 2009 Sadness: LEGO House Gets Demolished

The LEGO house built by James May for his BBC program Toy Stories was recently demolished after nobody stepped forward to buy and preserve the plastic abode. I would have, but I don't have the money. Or pants (pants? where I'm going I don't need pants). I'm going back to the past! Anyway, this is a little gallery of the demolition. Allegedly the blocks (which were actually donated by LEGO) are going to be used for charity builds in the future. So yeah, that's a silver lining. But not a silver panty liner! Which, haha, HORF HORF HORF HORF HORF.

Hit the jump for several more shots of the sadness.

Continue Reading " Sadness: LEGO House Gets Demolished "

Sep 28 2009 Crazy: Lockheed Martin's Samurai Monocopter

Monocopters are single-bladed airfoils, best known for falling from maple trees as whirligigs. But this is a radio controlled version developed by Lockheed Martin that actually flies UP instead of only down. I predict robotic versions in the future with really, really sharp blades on them.

Eventually, the SAMARAI project was supposed to produce a nanomonocopter (?) about the same size as a seed pod (on the order of 1.5 inches long and 10 grams in weight), driven by a miniature rocket or jet thruster, able to send back streaming video (that was stabilized somehow), autonavigate, and deliver a 2 gram payload up to a kilometer away. The big version in the video above was a testbed to help engineers figure out just how to get this thing to fly in a stable and controllable manner.

Forget helicopters and monocopters, what ever happened to good old fashioned jetpacks? Because jetpacks, as my Magic 8-Ball just confirmed, are the wave of the future. Just saying, you ever made love to a girl wearing one? Don't do it from behind.

Lockheed Martin SAMARAI UAV Scares Me [botjunkie]

Sep 28 2009 Eat Your Peas: Construction Equipment Flatware For Kids (And Shameless Adults)

This set of Constructive Eating Kids' Utensils costs $20 but some of the proceeds go to funding health services for children. So that's cool. Plus, heavy machinery, how can you go wrong? BEEP BEEP -- back that thing up and dump some mashed potatoes IN MY MOUTH!

Transform mealtime into an educational, interactive construction zone! Construction-vehicle shaped fork, spoon, and pusher-scoop set makes learning to self-feed a fun activity.

* All materials FDA-approved, PVC/Phthalate/BPA-free
* Vibrant colors are stimulating and captivating
* An asset in the development of hand-eye coordination
* Dishwasher-safe
* Paint-free, lead-free

Okay, so they were really fishing for product attributes. When lead-free becomes a sellable product attribute for UTENSILS, you know you've hit rock bottom. That said, how much you want to bet that a study comes out soon touting lead is actually beneficial to a child's development? Trust me, these things are cyclical. Also, I make fake studies.

Product Site

Thanks to Miss Bowser, who feeds her father, King Koopa, with an airplane spoon made from a real airplane.

Sep 28 2009 Not Just For Vampires: Blood Energy Drink

Blood Energy Potion is a $6 energy drink (availableJanuary 2010) that was made to look -- and have the same nutritional value -- of real blood. That's pretty gross.

"The fruit punch flavor packs 4 hours of energy along with iron, protein, and electrolytes. Not only does Blood Energy Potion have a similar nutritional makeup to real blood, but it has the same color, look, and consistency of blood. Get real blood nutrients without that real blood taste! The re-sealable transfusion bag style pouch provides the convenient delivery of fluids for vampires and humans alike! Contains no real blood, just synthetic! "

Pfft, forget synthetic blood. I drink the real deal. ISN'T THAT RIGHT, MY FALLEN ENEMIES?! Say, none of you had AIDS, right?

Product Site
via
Blood Energy Drink [likecool]

Thanks to Ste, who is holding out for a bile energy drink. HORF.

Sep 27 2009 Scientists To Pull Pictures From Your Brain

I know for a fact the government can pull images from a person's brain because they've been probing around in my dome for years, messing with the delicate ecosystem up there. And one time when I was being interrogated I saw a picture of a dinosaur in an agent's file folder, SO I KNOW. Anyway, apparently they've decided to make the technology public knowledge.

Having modeled how images are represented in the brain, the researchers translated recorded patterns of neural activity into pictures of what test subjects had seen.

To construct their model, the researchers used an fMRI machine, which measures blood flow through the brain, to track neural activity in three people as they looked at pictures of everyday settings and objects.

As in the earlier study, they looked at parts of the brain linked to the shape of objects. Unlike before, they looked at regions whose activity correlates with general classifications, such as "buildings" or "small groups of people."

Once the model was calibrated, the test subjects looked at another set of pictures. After interpreting the resulting neural patterns, the researchers' program plucked corresponding pictures from a database of 6 million images.

Soon, everyone will have a photo printer in the back of their head to print off worthwhile images they've seen. Me? I already have one. Don't believe me -- check this stack of pictures. What? Don't act like you've never seen a dinosaur penis before!

Brain Scans Reveal What You've Seen [wired]

Thanks to Anit, who can read minds like comic books: with incredible difficulty.

Sep 27 2009 Sure, Why Not?: Paperboy The Movie Trailer

We featured a video of Paperboy in real life earlier this week, and we're wrapping it up with a video of Paperboy: The Movie. It's a lot more dramatic than the other one. And before you ask -- yes, it made me cry. Thankfully, I cry diamonds. I'm rich, peasants!

Youtube

Thanks to Sara, who doesn't read analog papers because that shit's too oldschool for her. And Jon, who actually made the movie (cast me! cast me!).

Sep 27 2009 Mobile Bar: Beer Bike Totes Two Kegs, Pizza

The Beer Bike was designed and created by Hopworks Urban Brewing of Portland, Oregon, and features two kegs and taps, plus a hot pizza storage unit. Impressive, but I can't even imagine pedaling two full kegs of beer around. I mean, those bitches are heavy. Sure, I've dated three-keg girls before, BUT I NEVER OFFERED THEM RIDES ON MY HANDLEBARS, NOW DID I?! I didn't. I demanded piggybacks!

Beer Bike! [mostlyhere]

Thanks to Kevin, who built a bike with an actual mobile brewery on the back.