That has got to be the fastest looking truck I've ever seen. And I saw a truck shot out of a cannon before, so I know. Still, needs truck nuts. TRUCK-VETTE [peopleofwalmart] Thanks to Alan, who once drove a truck to the moon and did donuts in a crater. Bitchin'!... | More →

Co-founder of the International Church of Jediism, Master Morda Hehol (Daniel Jones, seen above, left), was kicked out of a North Wales supermarket after refusing to remove his super-sweet Jedi hood. He is considering legal action (I would have just Force-choked the assistant manager). "I told them it was a requirement of my religion but they just sniggered and ordered me to leave. I... | More →

In this week's "growing things that look like other things" news, a Chinese farmer has learned how to grow Buddah shaped pears. But are they sacrilegious to eat? Hao Xianzhang, a local famer, spent six years to perfect the process by growing the pears inside moulds, local media reported. The pears cost around 50 yuan (7.32 USD) each. Pfft, that's nothing. One time I... | More →

Let's be honest with ourselves: we all love pizza. I'm particularly fond of the white variety BUT NOT BECAUSE I'M RACIST (I have a Hispanic friend). I just like the way it tastes in my mouth. Like ice cream, but hot. Anyway, now you can order Papa John's pizzas from you PS3. And you don't even have to go to the internet browser! Because,... | More →

Joules is a robot designed to KILL! pedal the back of a tandem bicycle. And I can honestly say I have absolutely no interest in biking down the street getting cornholed by a robot names Joules. He's the creation of a guy called Chris who, challenged by his son to create an electric tandem that worked via pedal power, more than satisfied the brief.... | More →

This is a line of Mario-inspired sparkling eveningwear by designer and crafster user montyfull. Nice, but where were these designs when I went to prom 10 years ago? I make sparkles look good! So I'm a fashion major. Graduated in 2007, and just NOW got around to uploading pics of my stuff! I'm an avid gamer for life. Shooters, RPGs, PC, nintendo, Xbox... I'll... | More →

This is a video of a Japanese arcade game in which you try to disturb a dinner party by breaking the table. WTF, I know. That said, I woulda karate-chopped the grain outta that bitch. High score? Or score high? You have two boobs....you have four boobs. Youtube Thanks to Shorty, who would have hid under the table and looked up your skirt.... | More →

Dino Dig Challenge plays like Battleship, but instead of a bunch of stupid boats, you're hunting for raptor bones. I LOOOVE RAPTOR BONES! 2 player competition to see who can excavate their opponent's dinosuar bones first. Includes 2 player dig base unit, 8 excavation site tiles, 10 different dinosaur bones and flag markers Be the first to complete a velociraptor skeleton and win! OMG,... | More →

That's right you salty, half-masted sons of wenches, tomorrow (September 19th) be International Talk Like A Pirate Day. And to celebrate, TellTale Games is giving away free 1-part episodes of Tales of Monkey Island. Also, I will be getting drunk all day wearing an eyepatch and waving a plastic cutlass. So, if you want some free awesome gameage head over HERE tomorrow to claim... | More →

This is a seven minute video of a guy screwing around in Half Life 2 after he replaces all the audio for the sound effects with his own voice versions. It's pretty awesome and I highly recommend checking it out, even if you just skip around for a few seconds. Which, haha, God you looked fruity. Half-Life 2 Mod Is All "Pew Pew Pew"... | More →

Okay so I just noticed I left the "r" out of "your" in that Facebook update but that's what happens when you stay up till 5 am binge drinking, you know? Also, waking up with strange bruises and an even stranger man in your bed (seriously brah, it's 10:30 -- time for you to go). Anyway, worst burglar ever: The popular online social networking... | More →

It was only a matter of time before somebody did this. Because when I was watching the VMA's live from the back of the auditorium through the scope of a sniper rifle, I was wondering how long it would take after the Taylor Swift incident (I love you, Taylor -- you belong with me! Creepily) for somebody to make a Kanye-ify website. Apparently four... | More →

Turns out the ferocious T-Rex (who, I would like to mention, is a brutal lover) actually started as a tinier, much more manageable size. OMG -- I'm going to grow them in my roommates closet! Also, weed. About 125 million years ago a tiny version of Tyrannosaurus rex roamed what is now northeastern China. Tiny, that is, by T. rex standards -- you still... | More →

The LEGO Brick Construction Shirt from ThinkGeek is a $18 shirt with a LEGO baseplate fashioned to the chest. You can build whatever the hell you want on the front of that bitch. I'm gonna build a functional rocketship on mine! Take your favorite construction blocks of choice (LEGOâ„¢, PixelBlocks, Mega Bloks, K'NEX Bricksâ„¢ are all compatible) then start building. You can write messages,... | More →

So apparently President Obama is a Jedi. Okay, maybe a padawan. Fine, just a guy waving a plastic lightsaber around. But that's not what's important. What's important is we arrange a lightsaber duel between him and Star Wars Boy. I'll get the president on the line, you get Obi Un-Coordinated. Hit the jump for a picture of Obama running his wife through with a... | More →

The After Office Tie, by Argentinian design firm Sinapsis, appears to be an ordinary neck tie when worn under a suit. But little will your boss know that there's actually a bottle opener at the bottom perfect for opening happiness (read: booze) while on the clock! You know, this reminds me: one day I almost finished a whole case of beer at work. *glug... | More →

What could be better after an article about a hideous dead monster than a food-related post about the world's largest commercially available burger? Happy lunching west coasters! Do they sell good falafel out there? I'd appreciate some if they do. Also, ripe avocado. It's the world's biggest burger/heart-attacker and it comes courtesy of Steve Mallie of Southgate, Michigan. Guinness Book of World Records officially... | More →

A group of teens hanging out by a lake in Panama saw the elusive Gollum climbing out of his cave and did what any respectable youths would do: beat it to death with sticks. According to reports in Panama, the teenagers spotted the creature crawling out of a cave while playing in the town of Cerro Azul north of Panama City. Fearing for the... | More →

Well folks, Halloween is right around the corner, and you all know what that means: another night of standing in the corner a sad Ninja Turtle while you watch the Zombie Nurse of your dreams make out with a guy dressed as The Crow. :( Also, fun costumes! A couple of years back I went slightly mad for 3 weeks and spent every evening... | More →

First of all, I'm not convinced liquid oxygen is real because, if it is, why can't I breath underwater? I want a merman, damnit. But if it is real, this is a video of Theo Gray lighting a charcoal grill with the stuff. Apparently it's dangerous, but I find it hard to believe. I mean, it's just a liquid. Jesus, it's not like I... | More →

PearlyDreams (not what I thought it was either) Natural Sleep Enhancing Toothpaste is supposed to help you fall asleep after brushing your teeth at night. Me? I just chloroform myself and pass out on the bathroom floor. PearlyDreams (endorsed by Aerosmith's Brad Whitford, so you know it's legit) is toothpaste with Melatonin, Balm Mint, Valerian and Passionflower inside, all of which should combine to... | More →

Tired of shooting at the same boring silhouettes when you're getting your gun on? Well why not prepare for the imminent zombie apocalypse and get your pew on at the same time with these zombie-themed shooting targets? Full color Zombie Poster Targets. Designed for fun at the range or for your next league's Zombie Shoot. Features shaded scoring lines in both head & brain... | More →

Kittens driving a cardboard mecha, what could be cuter? Nothing, that's what! Unless there were chipmunks poking their heads out of the missile turrets. Oooh -- and a sleepy bunny somewhere! Picture Thanks to Ross, who once built a mecha out of sticks but it got blown down by a bad wolf. Ironically, the very same wolf I ride into battle. Sorry about that,... | More →

For those of you who don't know, Yaddle is a female Jedi of Yoda's species (whatever the hell those green freaks are). And what you're about to see, if you're brave enough to hit the jump, is a homemade lovemaking aid featuring a picture of Yaddle and a green Fleshlight. And for those of you who don't know what a Fleshlight is: congratulations, you're... | More →

This is a head rendered in Tetris blocks as imagined by Rihards Rozans. I have no idea if he used his own face for the model, but if he did, he's a pretty handsome guy. You know, in a Donkey Kong sort of way. Speaking of which: remember Candy Kong in Donkey Kong Country? I wanted to hit that like a bushel of bananas:... | More →

You know how all those high-voltage capacitors have warning signs that tell you not to sit on them or play around them but you do anyways because you're an ultra-L337 badass from the planet Choke-slam? Well this is a video demonstration of what can happen if a drunk electrical worker accidentally left some of the wires exposed and you sat on them. Except, in... | More →

If God didn't want us drinking from boobs our whole lives, then why did he make them so appealing in adulthood? Also, why don't dinosaurs have nipples? These and many other life changing questions will be answered in my forthcoming tell-all, "The GW: A Life of Blogging". But honestly, when I first saw these $25 Boob Ice Luge molds I didn't even know what... | More →

John Pontilillo, a Johns Hopkins undergrad, killed a would-be robber with a samurai sword after finding the thieving bastard attempting to pilfer items from his garage. Nice, John, I would have done the same thing. Except blindfolded because I'm like 30x tougher than you are. Hours earlier, someone had broken into John Pontolillo's house and taken two laptops and a video-game console. Now it... | More →

You gotta love it when your mom publicly congratulates you on Facebook for breaking your spell of sexlessness. Isn't that right, mom? *high-five* But seriously, knock next time. Also, this sock needs washing. Hit the jump for three more Facebook faux pas. | More →

Boston Dynamics, a company best known for heralding the apocalypse with their futuristic death machines, is at it again -- this time manufacturing the Precision Urban Hopper. Most of the time, the shoebox-sized robot - which is being developed for the US military - uses its four wheels to get around. But the Precision Urban Hopper can use a piston-actuated "leg" to launch it... | More →

Unfortunately, it's solid lava and has a daytime temperature of 3,600 degrees Fahrenheit. Still, I'd live there. With Satan. You hear that, my fiery little bitch? I SAID LIGHT THE GRILL. As scientists search the skies for life elsewhere, they have found more than 300 planets outside our solar system. But they all have been gas balls or can't be proven to be solid.... | More →

Ignore the handicapped tag and West Virginia plate, that's not mine. Mine has like quadruple the dinosaurs. You know, to attract more kids because dinosaurs are so awesome. That said, I would still dive into the back of this thing no questions asked. Jurassic Park [peopleofwalmart] Thanks to Danielle, gator, Meganologie, Nick B, Greg and michael, who aren't allowed within 100 yards of a... | More →

I am seriously reconsidering my decision to procreate in China. What with all the winged cats and footed snakes, I don't want my children to grow up with three legs like their father, you know? My beneficial defects aside, I must admit: as an amateur herpetologist, I'm a little skeptical about a footed snake. It seems almost like it swallowed a lizard and then... | More →

This is a super short video of a Contra commando playing Duck Hunt. And in case you can't watch videos at work, I'll spoil it for you: the ducks lose. But if you want to watch the ducks win, you should watch that youth hockey themed movie starring Emilio Estevez. OMG HE WAS SOOOO HANDSOME! Youtube Thanks to jim, who got the laser rifle... | More →

I don't wear sunglasses because I like squinting, but for those of you that do, and only have one giant eye, maybe these new Martin Margiela sunglasses are for you. Sure they look like a giant windshield and cost $570, but that's a small price to pay for looking like a giant Miami douche-hydrant, am I right? Of course I am. Unless we're talking... | More →

Can you count the number of things wrong in the picture above? If you answered, "every single one", congratulations, you are correct. You see, Bloodbot is a robot designed to stab you with a needle. And I think we can all agree: that is exactly NOT what Jesus would do. The robot consists of an arm with a needle and a probe. In order... | More →

If there's two things I learned to love in college it's flow charts and communal showering. And this is by far one of the awesomest flow charts I've ever seen. It's right up there with the What Should I Eat? chart. Click HERE to see the flow chart in its entirety, which outlines all of Ice Cube's iconic 'Today Was A Good Day'. Now... | More →

This is a recording of a wicked video projection show perfectly mapped to the front of a mansion in England. You've just got to see it to believe it. It's sort of long, but I recommend watching at least the first minute and then skipping around (there's even some Pac-Man action around 4:00). And speaking of skipping around, I don't do that shit --... | More →

That's right folks, scientists have successfully hovered mice using nothing but magnetic fields. You read correctly: no black magic this time! (I'm still skeptical) Scientists working on behalf of NASA built a device to simulate variable levels of gravity. It consists of a superconducting magnet that generates a field powerful enough to levitate the water inside living animals, with a space inside warm enough... | More →

Tough economic times call for even tougher men patrolling the streets with leather chaps and cute hats. And I am one of those men. Also, you don't want to spend too much money during a recession because then you won't have enough for drinking. And drinking, as I'm sure many of you know, is one of the very few things that make life worth... | More →

Animalswithlightsabers.com is a website with a bunch of pictures of animals wielding lightsabers. Because, let's face it: animals and lightsabers go together like waking up and drinking. Or going to bed with a bottle of vodka. It just makes people happy. Hit the jump for several more of my favorites and another link to the website.... | More →

Laser cheese is cheese that comes out of Captain Cheeseface's magical fingertips. According to this commercial, one finger shoots cheese chunks and the other a fine cheesy powder. Together they make pasteurized magic! OOOH OOOH, OVER HERE MR. CHEESE WHIZ -- shoot it right in my mouth! Yes, yes, now my eyes -- DO ME IN THE EYES! OMG -- OMG -- CHEEEEEEESEVISIOOOOOOON! Youtube... | More →

This is a Pac-Man gaming chair. The best I can tell it's just a computer image, rendering(!) it fake, but it's cool enough for someone to make reality IMHO. And speaking of MHO: they're out there. I'm talking aliens, fool! Anyway, this Pac-Man chair feeds off pocket lint and loose change but won't hesitate to eat your cat if you go out of town... | More →

I haven't taken a bath since I was too short to see over the side of the tub, so I don't need a fancy bath fixture. But maybe you do. I heard women take a lot of baths because it makes shaving easier. Speaking of which, what do women shave anyways? I suspect it's their chests! The Nirvana Bathtub is basically an normal tub... | More →

I'm not even going to begin to try and understand how this table stays erect, but I think it has something to do with the dark arts (or boner pills). Whatever the case, the acrylic table was designed by John Brauer and reminds me a little of the painted table we featured awhile back. Not a ton, but a little. Also, I went to... | More →

The beast seen here, best known for once sinking a rival Viking's ship with a single whip of his fiery mullet, has changed his name. He used to be Andreas Jankov. But nooooow he's Julius Andreas Gimli Arn MacGyver Chewbacka Highlander Elessar-Jankov. You've got to admit: it does have a ring to it. "I wanted to show that it is possible to be serious... | More →

This is Sir Eat A Lot's remix of his instant classic 'Bacon Is Good For Me', now with more repetition. Now I'm not saying this song makes me want to adopt the little chubs and call him my own, but it totally does. Say it again, little man! "Bacon is good for me". Haha, here -- have another Beggin' Strip (he doesn't know the... | More →

Let's face it: pushing buttons on a remote to change the channel on your television is archaic and embarrassing. What we need are a bunch of magic wands to wave around like assholes! Well we're in luck! Enter the Kymera Magic Wand. It works like a standard universal learning remote but thanks to a built-in accelerometer it's able to recognize "magical gestures" instead of... | More →