Sep 12 2009 Scratch Meeeeee!: Super Mario Fingernails

This is somebody's false fingernails that photobucket user nailchick27 painted with a Super Mario Bros. 3 theme. As you can see, they're good looking. I can't say for certain I'd date a girl with nails like that (because I wouldn't), but I would let her give me a back scratch. Harder. Go on, harder. HARDER. DO IT TILL YOU SEE RIBS! Now smoke a rack, I'm getting hungry.

Hit the jump for one more shot of the whole set.

Continue Reading " Scratch Meeeeee!: Super Mario Fingernails "

Sep 12 2009 Master Cuts: Life-Size Link Papercraft

Papercrafter Haywan got ambitious and decided to make a life-size Link. Out of paper. Making it quite possibly the most amazing feat I've ever seen in my entire life. Be sure to follow the links to see more pictures and ten videos of Haywan putting the thing together. WARNING: It's mind bogglingly complicated. Good lookin', Haywan, now how about a life-size Zelda? What? I LIKE PAPERCUTS DOWN THERE.

Hit the jump for a couple close-ups and a Link (!) to even more pictures and video.

Continue Reading " Master Cuts: Life-Size Link Papercraft "

Sep 11 2009 9/11: The World Trade Center From Space

This is a picture of the World Trade Center after the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001, taken by current commander of the International Space Station at the time, Frank Culbertson. Damn, has it really been eight years? Remember.

The World Trade Center Terrorist Attack from Space [gizmodo]

Sep 11 2009 Lookin' Bad: Bluetooth Ringphone Concept

Who the hell would actually want to talk to their hand like in the picture is beyond me (where do I sign up?), but Argentinian design team BCK designed this set of rings to use as a Bluetooth headset handset. Also, anybody else notice how the thumb above the ring was drawn in, and the pinky looks like it was torn off and sewn back on by Dr. Frankenstein? I wish mine looked like that.

The user talks to the hand using the yellow ring that fits halfway down the little finger, and then listens with the pink ring on the thumb.

This is one concept that probably won't catch on, ever. Unless you can make a display to put on the palm. Maybe there is some alternate reality where this technology came into fruition.

One ring to hear your calls,

One ring to talk in,
Two rings to take your calls,
and with the Bluetooth bind them.

BWAAHAHAHAHAHA. A Lord of the Rings themed poem, that's too precious. See what I did there? See how I snuck the precious right on in there? Jesus I should teach lessons about being awesome.

Bluetooth Concept turns your finger phone into reality [alphabetatricks]

Thanks to Cinema Obsessed, who isn't obsessed with movies so much as the popcorn.

Sep 11 2009 Crimes Against Humanity, Alternatively, Why I Decided To Rob You: A $135K Blu-Ray Player

Nobody should own a $135,000 Goldmund Eidos Reference Blue Blu-ray player. That's the bottom line. I mean, there are children in Africa who don't even have Laserdisc players. So how someone could knowingly spend six figures on a Blu-ray player makes me sick. BLAAAAAAH! There, I hope you're happy now.

This 66-pound behemoth has such beautiful design, we're thinking it would be right at home in an art gallery. But does it make the Blu-ray movies look any better? Only those with golden eyes and ears will know for sure.

Those precision spring-loaded legs, a completely isolated power supply and fancy Goldmund Magnetic Damping drives the price up into the stratosphere, along with that ritzy Goldmund name.

I've never heard of the Goldmund name, so that doesn't mean anything to me. I guess I'm not an audiophile. Although, admittedly, I did experiment with a girl's ear once in college, but it just wasn't my thing (she got an inner-ear infection and dumped me).

Hit the jump for one more shot of the ridiculousness.

Continue Reading " Crimes Against Humanity, Alternatively, Why I Decided To Rob You: A $135K Blu-Ray Player "

Sep 11 2009 But I Don't Wanna Hit Him!: WALL-E Piñata

This is a custom made WALL-E piñata from Etsy seller victorof1980s. This crazy mother is trying to sell the thing for $200. $200 for something your kid is gonna beat to shit with a stick and not even remember by next year! No thanks. When my children have birthdays they get the same kind of piñata I had growing up: a grocery bag with a face drawn on the side. I remember one time I hit it so hard I dented a can of succotash! Also, all the bananas got real mushy.

wall-e pinata filled with candy, not garbage [technabob]

Thanks to naas, who hate WALL-E but loves beating things with a dowel.

Sep 11 2009 Noooo!: Prego-Bot Gives Birth To Robo-Son

In one of the most f'ed up things I've seen in recent history, the University of Arizona Medical Center has a robotic woman that gives birth to a robotic son so that medical students can witness the horrors of robotic birth firsthand.

Named Noelle, she grunts, screams, yells at the doctors, pees, bleeds -- and yes, even gives birth (to a cute little robot baby named Hal).

Paid for with a $40,000 grant from Miami-based Guarnard Scientific, the university bought Noell, baby Hal, and another, smaller robot-baby in January. Then Noelle was taken out of commission for a while when medical students (yelp!) broke her pelvic bone.

an average of 20 medical students a week diagnose all sorts of birth complications like cesareans and breach births. Noelle can even hemorrhage, all while screaming in pain and yelling things like "don't touch me" at the medical students.

Great, at this rate she's gonna have like 1,000 babies a year. WHO KEEPS KNOCKING THIS ROBOTIC BITCH UP? I'm looking at you, shifty night patrolman! DUM DUM DUM!

University of Arizona Medical Students Help Robot Give Birth to Baby Robot [phoenixnewtimes]

Thanks to Demon Spawn, who get it pregnant with like thirty little devil babies.

Sep 11 2009 Windows 7 Commercial With Cute Little Girl

I don't get the chance to watch much television since my tv got repo'd but if I did I may have seen this Microsoft commercial for Windows 7 featuring Kylie, the cute Asian girl. Admittedly, I did like the ad. But that's because I'm a sucker for any commercial featuring The Final Countdown. Even tampon ones.

Youtube

Thanks to jon, who still sells products the really old fashioned way: from cave to cave.

Sep 11 2009 You Look Different: Is That You, R2?

This is definitely NOT the droid I'm looking for. Kidding -- come here you lovable little trashcan, you! Now hump my leg.

I've Got A Bad Feeling About This [pictureisunrelated]

Thanks to everyone who sent this in, next round at the cantina's on me. Psyche! I WILL SHOOT FIRST.

Sep 11 2009 Beef Jerky: Now With More Caffeine

Perky Jerky is beef jerky with caffeine added (via guarana) to help keep you awake and focused on trying to look busy and not like you're just reading Geekologie.

Perky Jerky caffeinated beef jerky is the world's first performance enhancing meat snack. Put simply, we've combined the most tender and flavorful beef jerky, with an extra dose of energy (caffeine, from the Guarana we add) to provide a jerky experience you won't find anywhere else.

Performance enhancing meat snack. I dunno about all that. But if you want to try it, a 2 oz bag will set you back $5. Alternatively, a 2 oz bag of good weed would be like $700. So, yeah, cheaper than good weed.

Product Site

Thanks to Ryan, Mr. Robbot and Towhee Monster, who get their energy the old fashioned way, directly from the sun. Transform and photosynthesize!

Sep 10 2009 Military Experimenting With Airless Tires

We've known about airless tires for a while now here on Geekologie, but now the US military is getting involved and testing them sums of beaches out on some of their vehicles. But not their tanks -- they don't have any air to begin with, silly!

The advantages of airless tires are obvious: they can't be punctured and they never go flat. But it clearly takes a lot of science to get the proper material that can stand up to the pressure of a multi-ton military vehicle sitting on top of it.

Nice, military, but how about some REAL airless tires. I'm talking about hover wheels, bitches! I know that shit exists, we stole the technology from the aliens. GET OUT OF MY HEAD GOVERNMENT! Quick, somebody Reynolds Wrap me, STAT!

Military testing out fancy new airless tires [dvice]

Sep 10 2009 Nice: Badass LEGO Star Wars Chess Set

Typically you don't hear "badass" and "chess" in the same sentence unless you're talking about the time Bobby Fisher beat Medusa to death with nothing but a rook. But I feel they're appropriate together here because this custom LEGO Star Wars chess set by Brandon Griffith is simply bangin'. And yes, I can say that because I'm hip. Literally, I only have one. I threw the other one out humping a Dilophosaurus this morning! Also, I suspect tennis elbow.

Flickr Set (with lots of worthwhile closeups)
via
Lego Star Wars Chess Set [likecool]

Thanks to Chuey "The Rock 'n Roll" Midget, who could actually stand in for one of those chess pieces. He's that small.

Sep 10 2009 Why Parents Shouldn't Be On Facebook. Alternatively: Your Mom Just Friended Me

This is a excerpt from a Facebook conversation (hit the jump to read the rest) between some crazy old lady and who she believes to be her son, but isn't. I have no idea whether it's fake or not (I don't think it is), but that's not the point. The point is that this a perfect example of why older parents shouldn't be allowed to operate computers (or motor vehicles, unless they're driving me to the mall with my friends). And I'm not just saying that because my stepfather walked in to use the computer during one of my more risque webcam shows, but he did. And started dancing. Yeah, it was awkward. But only in the beginning.

Hit the jump for the rest of the conversation.

Continue Reading " Why Parents Shouldn't Be On Facebook. Alternatively: Your Mom Just Friended Me "

Sep 10 2009 Are We Having Fun Yet?: New iPod Nano Shoots Video, Voice Records, FM Radios

Apple just released an updated iPod Nano which features a bigger screen, 640 x 480 video recording, voice recording, and FM radio capabilities. As usual, they come in all sorts of fun colors so you can match your media player to your eyes (Chinese girls do not come with green eyes -- anybody?!). 8 giggers cost $150 and 16 bangers $180. Is it worth an extra $30 to double your storage? You be the judge. I'll play the bailiff! Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth? Good, now where were you last night around 10PM? Because I was peeking in your bedroom window but you weren't theeeeere!

Product Site

Thanks to Kamaren, smith and Todd, who still carry record players BECAUSE THEY'RE OLDSCHOOL LIKE THAT. I swear, you guys are so fresh.

Sep 10 2009 New Bouncy Feature In Ninja Gaiden Σ II

Apparently by shaking your PS3 controller while playing the upcoming Ninja Gaiden Sigma II you can make your characters boobs bounce around all crazylike (which helps explains THIS advertisement). Also, I'm more than a little disappointed we didn't have this feature for the original NES. I'm looking at you, Princess Toadstool circa Super Mario 2. You too, Mario.

See Ninja Gaiden Sigma II Boob Bouncing In Action [kotaku]

Thanks to Pedro, who makes boobs bounce the old fashioned way: with a Ping Pong paddle.

Sep 10 2009 Nice Kicks, Brah: Custom Super Mario Shoes

If there's one thing to earn some serious street cred, it's a pair of custom painted Mario shoes. Kidding, it's calling a grizzly bear a bitch to her tits and stealing a cub, but these might net you a little.

Each one is precisely handpainted by Rachelle Williams of ParadoxArtistry, and covered with imagery of all of your favorite Super Mario characters. At $160 smackeroos a pair, they're not cheap, but think about how much two original paintings and a pair of high-tops would cost you and then it doesn't seem that bad. While the pair shown above is a Men's size 11, Rachelle will happily make you a pair in any size.

I, for one, would rock the hell outta those puppies. WOOF WOOF, know what I'm sayin'?! I don't, I think I've lost my got-damn mind.

Hit the jump for one more shot of the impressiveness.

Continue Reading " Nice Kicks, Brah: Custom Super Mario Shoes "

Sep 10 2009 Finally: The Buckyball Haiku Contest Winners

First of all, I'd like to apologize for taking so long to grade your haiku, but I took my time and read EVERY SINGLE ONE. I just wasn't expecting 1,600 entries, since I didn't even get that many comments ON MY BIRTHDAY. Read: everyone who entered but didn't wish me a happy birthday was disqualified. I jest. But seriously, you all did great and I'm very proud of the quality of poetry (most of) you wrote. Also, a bunch of you are clearly special needs. But that's okay, so am I. We'll have more contests in the future just as soon as people contact me with free swag to give away (I'm looking at you, Mercedes). Also, I can't stress how near impossible it was to choose winners. I haven't slept in four days trying to sort through all this awesome. And now, the moment you've all been waiting for, the winners:

Grand Prize:

407. AM

Powered by man flesh
Robots hunt down last blogger
Cry Geekologie

Runners Up (in no particular order):

1014. pellaz

Red skies born in flame
Metal masters torment us
Prophet was ignored

74. Matt

On the internet,
Dangerous to go alone...
Take Geekologie

1221. well thats nice

The Robots bring doom
So before we are all killed
Post Zelda Side Boob

There you have it, I guess I was really feeling Zelda and the robot apocalypse (but don't think I didn't enjoy your dinosaur entries -- they made me so hot!). I will be contacting the winners tomorrow. And again, it really was impossible to choose winners. I had the field narrowed down to 190 (including yours) and had to choose four. But don't worry, you'll win next time. Thanks for participating everyone, and I don't care what everybody else says: you're all winners in my book.

Get Buckyballs

Sep 9 2009 3rd Most Complete T. Rex Skeleton For Sale

"Samson", who is being billed as the third most complete Tyrannosaurus Rex skeleton (I would hit that like a meteor), will be on the auction block in Las Vegas October 3rd. Bidding is expected to top $6 million. Great. Anybody know how to rob a bank?

Experts say the 170 bones discovered about 17 years ago in South Dakota represent more than half the skeleton of a 40-foot-long, 7.5 ton dinosaur that lived 66 million years ago.

"This represents the pinnacle of paleontology," Lindgren told The Associated Press on Friday.

"Most of the major museums in the world have casts of T. rexes," as opposed to the real thing, he said. "Bidding on this T. rex is not going to be a gamble, it's going to be the opportunity of a lifetime to whoever gets it."

The more I think about it, the more I can't believe they're letting this happen. You can't just sell a dinosaur. I mean, dinosaurs are people too, you know? THEY'RE NOT LIKE PROSTITUTES. Also, I don't care if the auction is going down in Vegas, this is just horribly, horribly wrong (I'll give you $2,000 for one night alone. $600 for just the skull).

T. rex for sale: Dinosaur fossil on block in Vegas [yahoonews]

Thanks to everyone who sent this in, are any of you by chance millionaires?

Sep 9 2009 Cowboy Stadium's Big Black Screen Of Fail

This is a picture in the Dallas Cowboys stadium of a giant display that is connected to a computer that (and I'm using my Sherlock Holmes-y powers of deduction here) was improperly shut down. Just a guess. Oh, here comes another!: morbidly obese. I know, I'd make a killing at the fair.

Dallas Cowboys Stadium Continues Streak of Giant Screen Fails [gizmodo]

Sep 9 2009 Ping Pong Fighter: Street Fighter, With Ping Pong (And Two Shirtless Guys, Yow Yow!)

This is short video of Ping Pong Fighter, which, in case you don't read titles, is like Street Fighter but with Ping Pong. Fun fact: Ping Pong is actually a trademarked name. Table tennis is the generic term for the sport. I AM SPITTIN' MAD KNOWLEDGE TODAY, SON! Anyway, I thought the video was pretty cute. And not just cause of the two hunky guys playing. Because they're not hunks. Those are what we familiar with the gay community call twinks. Me? I'm a bear like Zangief. RAWR!

Youtube

Thanks to Tunio, who once went to Ping Pong ball show in Thailand and hasn't been able to pick up a paddle since.

Sep 9 2009 Steel Velcro: Because Plastic Is For Sissies

This new steel velcro can support up to 35 tons of pressure and looks ultra-badass. So badass I want a belt made out of it. Yeah, and a headband. Wait, is this stainless steel? Cause I can't have no rust juice dripping in my eyes!

Developed by German engineers, this new version of Velcro is dubbed Metaklett, and it can support 35 tons at temperatures up to 1472 degrees. It's made from "perforated steel strips 0.2 millimetres thick, one kind bristling with springy steel brushes and the other sporting jagged spikes."

I have no idea what sort of industrial uses they have planned for this shit, but that's not important. What IS important is this: Velco is actually a name brand. The generic term for this type of closure is 'hook-and-loop fastener'. If you already knew that, congratulations. If not, I hope I just wasted some space behind your face! I'm talking about in your brain.

Thank you for being a friend

Travel down the road and back again
your heart is true, you're a pal and a confidant
And if you threw a party,
Invited everyone you knew,
You would see the biggest gift would be from me and the card attached would say,
Thank you for being a friend.

Haha, I'm just messing with you now.

Steel velcro can support up to 35 tons [dvice]

Sep 9 2009 Study: OMG Women Have Faces!?

In a unshocking report released by the New Zealand's University of Wellington, researchers found that most men don't know that women have faces. Only breasts. Haha! But seriously -- what's a face?

Researchers found that virtually half - 47 per cent - of men first glance at a woman's breasts. A third of the "first fixations" are on the waist and hips, while fewer than 20 per cent look at the woman's face.

Not only are breasts often the first thing men look at, they also glance at them for longer than any other body part, the experts discovered, the Daily Mail newspaper in the UK reported.

Hey, different strokes for different folks (I always check for a penis first).

Scientific proof that men look at women's breasts first and their face is almost last [dailytelegraph]

Thanks to deadbodyman, who's still not convinced women have faces. OR BREASTS (foot fetish).

Sep 9 2009 Highly Questionable Popular Science Ad

This is a highly questionable 30-second commercial for a new show on the Science Channel called 'Future Of...'. Basically the show explores in which ways robots are gonna bend us over and have their cold, metallic way with humanity. Now I don't want to ruin the ad for you, so go ahead and watch it.

Did you see that? THE DUDE BROUGHT FLOWERS TO A ROBOT WOMAN! WTF IS UP WITH THAT?! I don't care how far in the future, I could never love another robot. You broke my heart Teddy Ruxpin!

Youtube

Thanks to Alaina, who's smart enough to know the future i snow. Yes, the future i snow. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS BUT IT'S THE TRUTH!

Sep 9 2009 Sticking It To The Man: Guy Dons Monkey Mask To Avoid Paying Speeding Fines

Guys, I know I said I'd have the haiku graded by last night, but I still have 200 to go. Then, I have to choose 4 out of the top 100 I've pulled aside. I WILL DO IT TONIGHT, I PRETTY PRETTY PROMISE. That said, some jackass is speeding around Phoenix, AZ wearing a monkey mask to avoid paying speeding-camera fines. To date, he's already been sent 37 tickets.

"Not one of them there is a picture where you can identify the driver," said Dave Vontesmar, a flight attendant who works at Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport. "The ball's in their court. I sent back all these ones I got with a copy of my driver's license and said, 'It's not me. I'm not paying them.' "

"We watched him four different times put the monkey mask on and put the giraffe-style mask on," Officer Dave Porter told AZcentral.com. "Based on surveillance, we were positive that Vontesmar was the driver."

"It's obviously a revenue grab," he said of the new photo-enforcement program. "They're required by law to ID the driver of the vehicle. If they can't identify the driver or the vehicle by the picture, what are they doing to identify the driver?"

Really -- monkey and giraffe masks? Save 'em for the bedroom, Dave.

Man Dons Mask for Speed-Camera Photos [aolnews]

Thanks to Pat, who only drives in style -- on the sidewalk with a grocery bag on his head.

Sep 9 2009 Huuuge Robot Statue Coming To South Korea

If you thought the 59-foot Gundam statue in Japan was large, boy were you wrong. Because South Korea is erecting a massive 364-foot statue (twice as large as the Statue of Liberty) of Robot Taekwon V (aka Voltar the Invincible). Scared? It gets worse. You see, the statue is being built for a new amusement park called Robot Land. Geez, talk about scarring your children for life. This is worse than coming downstairs on Christmas hoping for a Nintendo, only to find your mom gangbanging the Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny underneath the tree. Nobody even ate the cookies!

giant robot taekwon v statue will be six times as large as giant gundam statue [technabob]

Sep 8 2009 WTF Is Wrong With You?: Twlight Corn Maze

This is a Twilight themed corn maze in Utah (a state best known for people forgetting is a state) celebrating the new movie that's coming out later this year that I, for one, can't wait to see (read: I'd rather have ants eat my eyeballs while I'm awake and screaming and a dominatrix hammers at my junk with a meat tenderizer). I just put this up for you ladies out there that are in love with this garbage and know what 'Team Jacob' means. Because I sure as hell don't. *Googling* Holy shit, this teen-wolf character actually sounds pretty cool. NOOOOOOT. High five for the oldschool burn!

Also, haiku contest winners will be announced later tonight (I still have 400 haikus left to read).

'Twilight' fans can get happily get lost in corn [ohnotheydidnt]

Thanks to pstone, who has never run through a cornfield backwards but has been to prison. Similar feelings.

Sep 8 2009 Robotic Bear Will Kill You In The Hospital

This is a promotional video for RIKEN's RIBA, a robotic pedo-bear that was designed to pick hospital patients up out of their beds and discreetly crush their genitals. Yeah, no thanks. Oh, and don't let the Whinny the Pooh music in the video fool you, this robo-bear would maul your whole damn face off and wear it like a mask for a single pot of oil. Don't believe me? Ask Piglet.

Couldn't find him, could you? Draw your own conclusions.*

*Tigger and I roasted that delicious son of a bitch.

Youtube

Thanks to ANON, who once got Pooh so high he ate like forty jars of honey and then tried to rob a hive at gunpoint.

Sep 8 2009 Mmmm, Blocky: Rolling LEGO Cookie Cutter

Want to make LEGO shaped cookies? Well you're in luck thanks to this $10 rolling cookie cutter directly from LEGO! Oh, hold the phone -- I just read a review.

I am a very capable and experienced sugar cookie designer. If the dough is not the perfect thickness--not too thick, not too thin, it will stick on the wheel. I very carefully and tediously cut out about 50 of this itty, bitty (1" x 1") bricks on my cookie sheet. I chilled the dough for 1/2 an hour in the refrigerator to help keep the shape during baking. However, they didn't hold their shape during baking because they are so small. They came out of the oven in an unrecognizable shape.

Well, I guess that's out. That's okay though because I bet it still works for Play-Doh. And Play-Doh, as we all know, is delicious. It tastes like gummy-salt! Uh-oh -- another review!

I am so disappointed. We bought the cookie cutter for school bday party and the cake mold for family party. The cookie cutter is cracked on one brick. Used it anyway. The dough sticks to the cutter and is nearly impossible to get it off without ruining the shape. Tried freezing the dough to make it harder. Cuts better but... My son cried after they baked. They look like plain old cookies. The lego shape completely disappears.

BWAHAHAHAHA -- your son cried after they baked! Did you check to make sure his training bra wasn't on too tight? Because that shit can cause serious discomfort. I mean, I'VE HEARD (I wear my roommates bra while she's at work).

Product Site

Thanks to rox, who once won a bake off and bake on IN THE SAME DAY.

Sep 8 2009 Chinese Farmer Builds Himself A Submarine

Further proof that Chinese farmers can build virtually any mode of transportation with common household ingredients, 34-year old Tao Xiangli went and built himself a fully functional sub. Man the torpedoes!

The Chinese man has built himself his very own sub all on his own, spending two years and 30,000 yuan ($4,385) on the project. It's driven by electric motors and propellers, and even has some extra fixings, including a periscope and a depth control tank.

Tao mainly cruises the beach taking underwater pictures of girls' bikini bottoms, but recently used the sub to attempt mating with a whale. IT TORE HIS ASS UP! I could have warned you Tao, animals that big don't always play nice. *ahem* I'M LOOKING AT YOU, NESSIE!

Hit the jump for a shot of Xao maneuvering his dinghy through a drainage ditch.

Continue Reading " Chinese Farmer Builds Himself A Submarine "

Sep 8 2009 Woops: Cops Called For Halo Sniper Rifle

Apparently the cops were called to Bungie Studios (the makers of Halo) after a pedestrian spotted a person carrying what they believed to be an AK-47. Way to know your guns, moron.

A report of a person with an assault weapon walking near Bungie Studios sent a team of police swarming to the Kirkland, Washington studio yesterday afternoon.

Kirkland police, contacted today for more details, said a passerby on their way to the local farmer's market called 911 saying that they thought they saw someone walking down the street with an AK-47 about 4:20 p.m.

The person who had thought they'd seen a gunman in the neighborhood had actually seen a Bungie employee carrying a replica Halo rifle back to the studio's offices, Bungie community director Brian Jarrard told me. Recognizing there was no longer an emergency, officers advised Bungie officials to transport the gun more discretely in the future.

That's great. Although, to the police tipster's credit, I would have totally called the po-po too if I saw somebody like that guy in the picture toting a rifle. And by 'called the po-po' I mean WHIPPED HIS MONKEY ASS. Just saying, I don't practice take-downs on my little sister for nothing. Isn't that right, Jessica? Oh shit -- oh shit -- CHOKE-SLAM!

Police Swarm To Bungie On Weapons Call During Kotaku Visit [kotaku]

Thanks to Richard Belding, who once caught Screech and AC Slater experimenting with each other in the locker room.

Sep 8 2009 Argentinian Geeks Prank Local News Station Monkey Island Style

A group of Argentinian geeks apparently made a Facebook page about how to make grog (kerosene, artificial sweeteners, sulfuric acid, rum with acetone, red dye # 2, axle grease and battery acid), the delicious concoction from Monkey Island, and tipped off a local news channel to the dangers the nation's youth are subjecting themselves. I especially love how they included the XD emoticon as part of the drink name. Nice touch. This just goes to show, you can't believe everything you hear in the news. Unless you read it here, in which case it's like the word of God. But with a deeper, more commanding voice.

Youtube

Thanks to Drenix, Totex, and whoever else sent this whose email I can't find, the next round's on me. BUT NOT LITERALLY. You spill on my shirt and I will punch you in your face.

Sep 8 2009 Impressive: Soda Box Mario At Gas Station

This is an incredibly impressive Mario themed soda display at an unknown gas station in Mysteryville, USA. Sure there are clues in the picture as to where it was actually taken, but do I look like Sherlock Holmes. This is a crack pipe! Anyway, kudos to whoever spent the time and energy to make such a wicked display. I used to work in a gas station and I never did anything like this. No, I would just get high in the walk-in soda cooler and then wait for the first person to come in to buy a drink. It would smell like ganja when they opened the cooler door! Then I'd give them the wrong change and eat a bunch of candy.

Soda Display Win [failblog]

Thanks to everyone who sent this in, I will make a beer can mosaic in your honor. It will probably be a penis.

Sep 8 2009 Beep Boop Bop: R2-D2 Cookies For Sale

Well folks, the holiday weekend is over. And, as much as I'd love to go back and live every second of it all over again, my time machine is broken. And by broken I mean not finished yet. BUT SOME DAY. Anyway, here are some R2-D2 cookies made by Etsy seller SugarandFlour. $13 nets you six of the beep boop boppiest delectables this side of the galaxy. JUST DON'T EAT HIS THIRD LEG. Save that for me. Now come give Obi Geekologie-aroni some kissies you sexy little droid, you!

One more shot after the jump.

Continue Reading " Beep Boop Bop: R2-D2 Cookies For Sale "

Sep 6 2009 No Work: Happy Labor Dabor Day Everyone!

Hey folks, sorry I had to leave so abruptly on Friday, I was traveling and got into a fistfight at the airport with a man with a large suitcase AND HAD TO WHIP HIS ASS FROM TERMINAL A TO TERMINAL D. Not really, but I was traveling. Anyway, I know I promised I'd have your haiku graded and returned today (some with smiley stickers, others with lots of red), but I forgot it was Labor Day weekend. You see, sometimes even your Geekologie Writer can be an idiot moron. BWAHAHAHAHAHA! I jest, but it is a holiday weekend so I figured I'd wait till Tuesday to reveal the winners and show you the balls. So everybody have a great time tomorrow and remember: don't go to work. Unless you have to, in which case quit.

HAPPY LABOR DABOR DAY EVERYBODY!