This is somebody's false fingernails that photobucket user nailchick27 painted with a Super Mario Bros. 3 theme. As you can see, they're good looking. I can't say for certain I'd date a girl with nails like that (because I wouldn't), but I would let her give me a back scratch. Harder. Go on, harder. HARDER. DO IT TILL YOU SEE RIBS! Now smoke a... | More →

Papercrafter Haywan got ambitious and decided to make a life-size Link. Out of paper. Making it quite possibly the most amazing feat I've ever seen in my entire life. Be sure to follow the links to see more pictures and ten videos of Haywan putting the thing together. WARNING: It's mind bogglingly complicated. Good lookin', Haywan, now how about a life-size Zelda? What? I... | More →

This is a picture of the World Trade Center after the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001, taken by current commander of the International Space Station at the time, Frank Culbertson. Damn, has it really been eight years? Remember. The World Trade Center Terrorist Attack from Space [gizmodo] | More →

Who the hell would actually want to talk to their hand like in the picture is beyond me (where do I sign up?), but Argentinian design team BCK designed this set of rings to use as a Bluetooth headset handset. Also, anybody else notice how the thumb above the ring was drawn in, and the pinky looks like it was torn off and sewn... | More →

Nobody should own a $135,000 Goldmund Eidos Reference Blue Blu-ray player. That's the bottom line. I mean, there are children in Africa who don't even have Laserdisc players. So how someone could knowingly spend six figures on a Blu-ray player makes me sick. BLAAAAAAH! There, I hope you're happy now. This 66-pound behemoth has such beautiful design, we're thinking it would be right at... | More →

This is a custom made WALL-E piñata from Etsy seller victorof1980s. This crazy mother is trying to sell the thing for $200. $200 for something your kid is gonna beat to shit with a stick and not even remember by next year! No thanks. When my children have birthdays they get the same kind of piñata I had growing up: a grocery bag with... | More →

In one of the most f'ed up things I've seen in recent history, the University of Arizona Medical Center has a robotic woman that gives birth to a robotic son so that medical students can witness the horrors of robotic birth firsthand. Named Noelle, she grunts, screams, yells at the doctors, pees, bleeds -- and yes, even gives birth (to a cute little robot... | More →

I don't get the chance to watch much television since my tv got repo'd but if I did I may have seen this Microsoft commercial for Windows 7 featuring Kylie, the cute Asian girl. Admittedly, I did like the ad. But that's because I'm a sucker for any commercial featuring The Final Countdown. Even tampon ones. Youtube Thanks to jon, who still sells products... | More →

This is definitely NOT the droid I'm looking for. Kidding -- come here you lovable little trashcan, you! Now hump my leg. I've Got A Bad Feeling About This [pictureisunrelated] Thanks to everyone who sent this in, next round at the cantina's on me. Psyche! I WILL SHOOT FIRST. | More →

Perky Jerky is beef jerky with caffeine added (via guarana) to help keep you awake and focused on trying to look busy and not like you're just reading Geekologie. Perky Jerky caffeinated beef jerky is the world's first performance enhancing meat snack. Put simply, we've combined the most tender and flavorful beef jerky, with an extra dose of energy (caffeine, from the Guarana we... | More →

We've known about airless tires for a while now here on Geekologie, but now the US military is getting involved and testing them sums of beaches out on some of their vehicles. But not their tanks -- they don't have any air to begin with, silly! The advantages of airless tires are obvious: they can't be punctured and they never go flat. But it... | More →

Typically you don't hear "badass" and "chess" in the same sentence unless you're talking about the time Bobby Fisher beat Medusa to death with nothing but a rook. But I feel they're appropriate together here because this custom LEGO Star Wars chess set by Brandon Griffith is simply bangin'. And yes, I can say that because I'm hip. Literally, I only have one. I... | More →

This is a excerpt from a Facebook conversation (hit the jump to read the rest) between some crazy old lady and who she believes to be her son, but isn't. I have no idea whether it's fake or not (I don't think it is), but that's not the point. The point is that this a perfect example of why older parents shouldn't be allowed... | More →

Apple just released an updated iPod Nano which features a bigger screen, 640 x 480 video recording, voice recording, and FM radio capabilities. As usual, they come in all sorts of fun colors so you can match your media player to your eyes (Chinese girls do not come with green eyes -- anybody?!). 8 giggers cost $150 and 16 bangers $180. Is it worth... | More →

Apparently by shaking your PS3 controller while playing the upcoming Ninja Gaiden Sigma II you can make your characters boobs bounce around all crazylike (which helps explains THIS advertisement). Also, I'm more than a little disappointed we didn't have this feature for the original NES. I'm looking at you, Princess Toadstool circa Super Mario 2. You too, Mario. See Ninja Gaiden Sigma II Boob... | More →

If there's one thing to earn some serious street cred, it's a pair of custom painted Mario shoes. Kidding, it's calling a grizzly bear a bitch to her tits and stealing a cub, but these might net you a little. Each one is precisely handpainted by Rachelle Williams of ParadoxArtistry, and covered with imagery of all of your favorite Super Mario characters. At $160... | More →

First of all, I'd like to apologize for taking so long to grade your haiku, but I took my time and read EVERY SINGLE ONE. I just wasn't expecting 1,600 entries, since I didn't even get that many comments ON MY BIRTHDAY. Read: everyone who entered but didn't wish me a happy birthday was disqualified. I jest. But seriously, you all did great and... | More →

"Samson", who is being billed as the third most complete Tyrannosaurus Rex skeleton (I would hit that like a meteor), will be on the auction block in Las Vegas October 3rd. Bidding is expected to top $6 million. Great. Anybody know how to rob a bank? Experts say the 170 bones discovered about 17 years ago in South Dakota represent more than half the... | More →

This is a picture in the Dallas Cowboys stadium of a giant display that is connected to a computer that (and I'm using my Sherlock Holmes-y powers of deduction here) was improperly shut down. Just a guess. Oh, here comes another!: morbidly obese. I know, I'd make a killing at the fair. Dallas Cowboys Stadium Continues Streak of Giant Screen Fails [gizmodo]... | More →

This is short video of Ping Pong Fighter, which, in case you don't read titles, is like Street Fighter but with Ping Pong. Fun fact: Ping Pong is actually a trademarked name. Table tennis is the generic term for the sport. I AM SPITTIN' MAD KNOWLEDGE TODAY, SON! Anyway, I thought the video was pretty cute. And not just cause of the two hunky... | More →

This new steel velcro can support up to 35 tons of pressure and looks ultra-badass. So badass I want a belt made out of it. Yeah, and a headband. Wait, is this stainless steel? Cause I can't have no rust juice dripping in my eyes! Developed by German engineers, this new version of Velcro is dubbed Metaklett, and it can support 35 tons at... | More →

In a unshocking report released by the New Zealand's University of Wellington, researchers found that most men don't know that women have faces. Only breasts. Haha! But seriously -- what's a face? Researchers found that virtually half - 47 per cent - of men first glance at a woman's breasts. A third of the "first fixations" are on the waist and hips, while fewer... | More →

This is a highly questionable 30-second commercial for a new show on the Science Channel called 'Future Of...'. Basically the show explores in which ways robots are gonna bend us over and have their cold, metallic way with humanity. Now I don't want to ruin the ad for you, so go ahead and watch it. Did you see that? THE DUDE BROUGHT FLOWERS TO... | More →

Guys, I know I said I'd have the haiku graded by last night, but I still have 200 to go. Then, I have to choose 4 out of the top 100 I've pulled aside. I WILL DO IT TONIGHT, I PRETTY PRETTY PROMISE. That said, some jackass is speeding around Phoenix, AZ wearing a monkey mask to avoid paying speeding-camera fines. To date, he's... | More →

If you thought the 59-foot Gundam statue in Japan was large, boy were you wrong. Because South Korea is erecting a massive 364-foot statue (twice as large as the Statue of Liberty) of Robot Taekwon V (aka Voltar the Invincible). Scared? It gets worse. You see, the statue is being built for a new amusement park called Robot Land. Geez, talk about scarring your... | More →

This is a Twilight themed corn maze in Utah (a state best known for people forgetting is a state) celebrating the new movie that's coming out later this year that I, for one, can't wait to see (read: I'd rather have ants eat my eyeballs while I'm awake and screaming and a dominatrix hammers at my junk with a meat tenderizer). I just put... | More →

This is a promotional video for RIKEN's RIBA, a robotic pedo-bear that was designed to pick hospital patients up out of their beds and discreetly crush their genitals. Yeah, no thanks. Oh, and don't let the Whinny the Pooh music in the video fool you, this robo-bear would maul your whole damn face off and wear it like a mask for a single pot... | More →

Want to make LEGO shaped cookies? Well you're in luck thanks to this $10 rolling cookie cutter directly from LEGO! Oh, hold the phone -- I just read a review. I am a very capable and experienced sugar cookie designer. If the dough is not the perfect thickness--not too thick, not too thin, it will stick on the wheel. I very carefully and tediously... | More →

Further proof that Chinese farmers can build virtually any mode of transportation with common household ingredients, 34-year old Tao Xiangli went and built himself a fully functional sub. Man the torpedoes! The Chinese man has built himself his very own sub all on his own, spending two years and 30,000 yuan ($4,385) on the project. It's driven by electric motors and propellers, and even... | More →

Apparently the cops were called to Bungie Studios (the makers of Halo) after a pedestrian spotted a person carrying what they believed to be an AK-47. Way to know your guns, moron. A report of a person with an assault weapon walking near Bungie Studios sent a team of police swarming to the Kirkland, Washington studio yesterday afternoon. Kirkland police, contacted today for more... | More →

A group of Argentinian geeks apparently made a Facebook page about how to make grog (kerosene, artificial sweeteners, sulfuric acid, rum with acetone, red dye # 2, axle grease and battery acid), the delicious concoction from Monkey Island, and tipped off a local news channel to the dangers the nation's youth are subjecting themselves. I especially love how they included the XD emoticon as... | More →

This is an incredibly impressive Mario themed soda display at an unknown gas station in Mysteryville, USA. Sure there are clues in the picture as to where it was actually taken, but do I look like Sherlock Holmes. This is a crack pipe! Anyway, kudos to whoever spent the time and energy to make such a wicked display. I used to work in a... | More →

Well folks, the holiday weekend is over. And, as much as I'd love to go back and live every second of it all over again, my time machine is broken. And by broken I mean not finished yet. BUT SOME DAY. Anyway, here are some R2-D2 cookies made by Etsy seller SugarandFlour. $13 nets you six of the beep boop boppiest delectables this side... | More →

Hey folks, sorry I had to leave so abruptly on Friday, I was traveling and got into a fistfight at the airport with a man with a large suitcase AND HAD TO WHIP HIS ASS FROM TERMINAL A TO TERMINAL D. Not really, but I was traveling. Anyway, I know I promised I'd have your haiku graded and returned today (some with smiley stickers,... | More →