Aug 20 2009Screw The Future(!): Robotic Prostitutes
Robotic hookers folks, robotic hookers. Marinate on that one for a second while I down this zucchini bread. Then, I'll be back to discuss the moral ramifications of banging a robot.
It sounds like science fiction, but robot bar staff, hotel rooms that change colour, cruise ships as big as aircraft carriers and even robot sex are part of the future for travellers, a tourism conference has been told.
Even robot "prostitutes" that would not pass on diseases such as HIV could make an appearance..."But you're talking about extreme futures."
First of all, no. Secondly, I would rather jam my penis in an electrical outlet (and have before -- now it can shoot lightning) than have sex with a robot. And thirdly, this certainly brings to meaning to the phrase 'sex machine', doesn't it? No? Well what about robo-hos?
Robot prostitutes tipped to tempt future tourists [theindependent]
Thanks to Caroline, who once pulled the old quarter-on-a-string trick and managed to score free services.
Reader Comments
1. FMA - August 20, 2009 1:47 PM
FIST (my ass)
2. pepe la PEWPEW - August 20, 2009 1:48 PM
sweet , they better be warm and stuff
3. proteon - August 20, 2009 1:52 PM
No one could have seen this coming.
4. FMA - August 20, 2009 1:53 PM
Also.... why is this beast sponsored by Swedish Vodka?
5. Tennist0 - August 20, 2009 1:54 PM
this can't be legit, "cruise ships as big as aircraft carriers", thats like...*cough* every single cruise out there *cough*... And if not whats out now, look up Royal Carribean's Oasis of the Seas, that thing is a fricken country alone
6. Mr. cow - August 20, 2009 1:55 PM
Moo
7. STOMPY - August 20, 2009 1:58 PM
WHERE THE HELL IS GFS WHEN YOU NEED HIM!!!!
THE PLEASUREBOTS ARE CUMING!
THE PLEASUREBOTS ARE CUMING!
8. Tennist0 - August 20, 2009 1:59 PM
so...wait...If we want that conceptual, throw-ass-looking-weather-in-front-of-what-you-want-to-see phone, we have to put up with this? ...k, gimme a shotgun and that phone and I'll live among horny robots (or shoot the motherboard outta them)
9. Timbo - August 20, 2009 2:01 PM
Where's Gordon?!?! This post was made for him!!
10. meowmo - August 20, 2009 2:01 PM
can anyone say: robo-orgy?
11. Sidewalk Kid - August 20, 2009 2:03 PM
Why is it that they only show the Sex Bot for guys?
XD
12. naas - August 20, 2009 2:04 PM
She'd shack up just fine with this http://www.heymister.net/storage/NORELCO_ROBOT_SLUT.jpg
13. Timbo - August 20, 2009 2:08 PM
Naas that thing looks scary. I would slice and dice my throat...
Put some skin on those things!
14. Sidewalk Kid - August 20, 2009 2:12 PM
@12
thats still for guy but nice try
15. Coffee Addict - August 20, 2009 2:14 PM
@9 haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
16. wadefade - August 20, 2009 2:14 PM
HOW MUCH $$$$
http://fade-to-first.mybrute.com/
17. Timbo - August 20, 2009 2:15 PM
@14 it's comes with "attachments"
18. Dream - August 20, 2009 2:24 PM
I want to pew pew lightning bolts too!
*jams penis into electrical socket*
*power goes out*
*my eyes and the head (of mah penis) are glowing*
19. Tap Water - August 20, 2009 2:25 PM
This article made no sense until I realized that the title said 'Robotic Prostitutes' instead of 'Robotic Prosthetics.' Denial?
Still, I'd totally hit that. It has to be better than my current girlfriend (my right hand).
20. Sidewalk Kid - August 20, 2009 2:28 PM
@17
I might want something more fun than that...
XD
Also still kinda looks like a girl.
21. Timbo - August 20, 2009 2:30 PM
Sidewalk Kid ....now you're just being picky
22. wow - August 20, 2009 2:31 PM
Surprised GW didnt opt for uberpun: Robosexual
23. Sidewalk Kid - August 20, 2009 2:36 PM
@21
Why i can't i be...
You guys have attractive looking robots.
What about women?
24. Timbo - August 20, 2009 2:42 PM
@23 I'm with GW on this one, do not want.. The robot apocalypse is nigh...
It just needs gender reconstructive maintenance...
25. SithRage - August 20, 2009 2:57 PM
She already exists!
http://thesuperficial.com/2009/08/amber_rose_topless_with_kanye.php
26. Jennie - August 20, 2009 3:08 PM
This can only lead to bad things... next thing you know you're going to have robo-pimps making sure the hooker-bots are doing what they're supposed to and then there will be a shortage on baby powder for all the robopimp slaps that will surely incur... this must be stopped before it begins!
27. BathCaptain - August 20, 2009 3:13 PM
This reminds me of -->
SEXY Robot ART GALLERY! HO!
http://themostawesomepageintheuniverse.com/2009/08/sexy-robot-art-gallery/
28. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - August 20, 2009 3:42 PM
I'm really hoping we dont try to input an AI interface into the ro-ho's.
29. Gargamel - August 20, 2009 3:55 PM
Just thinking of this gives me a ROBOner. To all you ROBOHOS that may be reading this: 0001100010101110000010000!!! Like, seriously.
30. G - August 20, 2009 4:03 PM
"I would rather jam my penis in an electrical outlet [...] than have sex with a robot."
But...but...dino-robots!
31. Duchess Of Dork - August 20, 2009 4:06 PM
Sounds about right. Remember AI?
http://lawofdesire.net/images/JudeLaw/ai-gigolo-joe-jane.jpg
32. asd - August 20, 2009 4:17 PM
thanks for the svedka promotion
33. Rowyo - August 20, 2009 4:34 PM
HOEBOTS!
34. Paul - August 20, 2009 6:02 PM
Academic paper: Robot Prostitutes as Alternatives to Human Sex Workers
http://docs.google.com/gview?a=v&q=cache:8xGOmjuNl0QJ:www.roboethics.org/icra2007/contributions/LEVY%2520Robot%2520Prostitutes%2520as%2520Alternatives%2520to%2520Human%2520Sex%2520Workers.pdf+robot+prostitute&hl=en&gl=us
Now, where's my Liu-bot?
35. kyle - August 20, 2009 6:31 PM
nice
36. kyle - August 20, 2009 6:32 PM
http://kyle143.mybrute.com
37. Moike - August 20, 2009 7:06 PM
Just putting it out there...but we're kinda getting ahead of ourselves...fraking robots can barely walk or stand up, let alone go-down.
I have issues getting my mcirowave to listen to me or my Roomba to clean the hallway properly...what makes you think I'm gonna stick my danglies in one? What could possibly go wrong.
38. Ryan Beeeeeez - August 20, 2009 7:16 PM
I knew I should have shown him "Electro Gonorrhea: The Noisy Killer."
39. Rootbeerhead - August 20, 2009 9:44 PM
@31, YES.
Jude Law in A.I.
Yes.
Absolutely no moral issues with that whatsoever.
40. a dog - August 20, 2009 11:44 PM
Looks just like one of those robots from that Bjork video a decade ago. Hot. Besides, that's a random stock pic. Who knows what these robots would actually look like. Preferably like a real girl. Could be awesome. Those fake vaginas modeled after pornstars and stuff that they sell now actually feel great. Just stick those onto a robo and let it talk dirty to me about wanting me to splooge on the face. Yes I would do this.
41. Jaded Icon - August 21, 2009 7:28 AM
Although I am a geek, I would still prefer the real thing....even though they come hardwired with "crazy".
42. Sulbirness - August 21, 2009 8:12 AM
Damn you Mr. Cow!
43. Ptentacle - August 21, 2009 8:29 AM
Shoots lightening!? Point me to the nearest light socket......
44. Graf Zeppelin - August 21, 2009 10:43 AM
I'd hit it. And bite it's shiny metal seat.
45. i<3robohos - August 21, 2009 11:48 AM
i can't wait. none of this boring filler chitchat relationship crap. just the occasional firmware update.
46. Paul - August 21, 2009 6:13 PM
@41 - I think you might not be seeing the whole possibility - you don't have to choose one or the other. You can have both. Would def come in handy at minimum one week a month for those of us committed to a human.
47. geekogie - August 23, 2009 6:21 AM
Must See!
http://alturl.com/obg7
________________
48. Alphaookami - August 24, 2009 11:17 AM
Futurama
I knew I should've shown him e gonorrhea the noisy killer!
49. Nick Sydney - October 26, 2009 10:24 PM
i would do that
but you have to think, what would be the next step?
sneaky robot hookers that will end up having your cloned child?