Aug 28 2009Perfect With A Lead Vest: The X-Ray Umbrella
The x-ray umbrella is an umbrella with x-rays all over the damn place. It does NOT allow you to see through a woman's shirt. Unless she's wearing white and it's pouring out, in which case, yes, it does do that. And I've got to tell you: as a guy who's broken his arm twice in the same place and now has a plate and a bunch of screws in there (I am NOT a robot, just a man with an advanced biomechanical arm), I'm no stranger to x-rays. Or those gamma joints. You hear that, Hulk? I will arm wrestle the shit out of you!
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Reader Comments
1. Fran - August 28, 2009 2:47 PM
You HERE that?
I THERE that! Way to go, GW!
2. Eskimobob - August 28, 2009 2:48 PM
2nd QQ
3. That one guy - August 28, 2009 2:49 PM
umbrellas are pretty gay. I'd rather get wet then carry around and/or use an umbrella, and the absolute last thing i want is one that will draw attention
4. Pip - August 28, 2009 2:50 PM
5th?>
5. Chuey "The Rock 'n' Roll" Midget - August 28, 2009 2:52 PM
Huked on fonix reely wurkz fur me!
6. GoSS Jerk - August 28, 2009 2:52 PM
@2 loser, firstarded 2nd.
@1 GW is always right! did you here me??? because if you didnt here me i can say it again, YOU HERE ME?
7. That one guy - August 28, 2009 2:53 PM
fifthtards? really? do you idiots really have nothing to say to the point where your whole comment is just a guess at which number post you are? I hate everyone of you number-callin jerk-asses.
8. Me - August 28, 2009 2:54 PM
Yeah we "here" you
9. GoSS Jerk - August 28, 2009 2:55 PM
@ 3 totaly with you on that one.
10. Chuey "The Rock 'n' Roll" Midget - August 28, 2009 2:58 PM
@ 7...you really hate life huh?
11. GoSS Jerk - August 28, 2009 2:59 PM
i sand in them. taking them umberrla into bones??? SHUT up mine god. i can buy this one for a what money? and rain is SMALL
12. Bethy - August 28, 2009 3:01 PM
@3.... you'd rather get wet, THEN carry an umbrella? why would you want to get wet if you plan on carrying an umbrella. and why dont you learn to spell you big dumb stupid jerk idiotic moron face ass ballser?
13. That one guy - August 28, 2009 3:04 PM
@12... smart-ass, you get the point.
14. GoSS Jerk - August 28, 2009 3:04 PM
@ 11 if you are going to make a lame attempt to clone me at least learn the language first... bet your a firstard, or a BathCaptin firstarded follower.
@ 12 Grammar police are around there with the firstards...
15. Timbo - August 28, 2009 3:05 PM
Geez bethy....
People are fiesty today
16. LSDiesel - August 28, 2009 3:12 PM
@14, I agree. The Grammar police should take their Grammar donuts and shove them up their grammar's ass.
17. That one guy - August 28, 2009 3:12 PM
Uh-oh Timbo, bethy the talk-cop is gonna call you a dumb face for spellin feisty wrong... Apparently we should wear cups around here because we get kicked in the nuts for misspelled words and misplaced commas
18. Timbo - August 28, 2009 3:27 PM
I thought I spelled it wrong, but I figured I'd leave it to generate more comments...
19. Mr. cow - August 28, 2009 3:28 PM
Moo
20. STOMPY - August 28, 2009 3:28 PM
@17
Thats nothing, LSDiesel once gave me a sneaky carl for ending a sentence with a preposition...
21. That one guy - August 28, 2009 3:30 PM
Yeah well I misspelled "than" so you're still in pretty good shape comparitively
22. That one guy - August 28, 2009 3:31 PM
sneaky carl? I'm strangely curious
23. glace neuf - August 28, 2009 3:45 PM
screw gamma joints, i'm smoking a gram a joint!
24. Timbo - August 28, 2009 3:56 PM
@22 I don't know what that is either...I'm afraid to look it up.
@21 I can never remember it and "I" before "E" except after "C" didn't seem to work...
25. Dishy Dishyington - August 28, 2009 4:25 PM
Fukc spellling natzies.
26. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - August 28, 2009 4:25 PM
There are actually enough spelling and grammatical errors in the comments to annoy me. Screw you guys. I'm going home.
27. Richard - August 28, 2009 5:26 PM
I liked this when I saw it on Flavorwire a few weeks ago.
28. That one guy - August 28, 2009 7:09 PM
Straight from urban dictionary...gross
sneaky carl
Sneaky Carl is defined when someone defecates in a single pantyhose and "sneaks" up on one and wraps the pantyhose around the victims mouth causing them to throw up.
29. ciao - August 28, 2009 7:44 PM
I want one with all foot x-rays :P
30. percmpnl - August 29, 2009 1:51 AM
What then can this x-ray umbrella do that a perry campanella
should do?
P C keep your comments relevant to the post.
31. xrayzach - August 29, 2009 5:33 AM
@28 im very sad that i know that now
32. Free ipod - August 29, 2009 12:15 PM
yay now i can see my bones when it rains an automatic xray in an umbrella amazing!
33. Geekogee - August 30, 2009 5:19 AM
Must See!!!
http://alturl.com/obg7
________________
34. Jaded Icon - August 31, 2009 8:04 AM
I guess emo girls would like this........maybe?
35. Pantyhose - February 1, 2010 3:37 AM
xray umbrellas are like seeing women in sheer pantyhose. Hot