Aug 9 2009No, Wrong, No: $32,000 Golden Computers

I don't care if a computer can run a real-time simulation of the Big Bang while playing Crysis at the highest settings and rendering a HD home movie you made of the neighbor's dog humping a stray cat, it shouldn't cost $32,000.
Gaiser High End Design PCs range from $7,820 to $32,300, and it isn't because they've got such great components. No, it's because they have 24 carat parpartial gilding with gold leaf.
Yeah, no. Although, I DID just think of a computer that is worth $32,000. It's called my old laptop, and I'll even sign it for you. And, not to get your hopes up, but it may contain some nudey pics (I'll make sure it does).
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Reader Comments
1. ALZU - August 9, 2009 8:57 PM
F1RST
2. Jessica Barnes - August 9, 2009 8:57 PM
first woot
3. ALZU - August 9, 2009 8:57 PM
H0ly shm0ly fr1st 4g41n l0lz
4. Jessica Barnes - August 9, 2009 8:58 PM
damnit.....but yeah ....whoa....no way
5. Corby - August 9, 2009 9:09 PM
Falcon Northwest has rigs that can get up to 32k that will make you drool
6. Tennist0 - August 9, 2009 9:18 PM
1 & 3: epic 5 year old maturity fail
I would totally buy GW's old laptop, I don't care if it has wax melted into it, runs windows98, and comes included with 20 viruses, its worth the money!
7. Yutzwagon - August 9, 2009 9:19 PM
Ughh... Why? I really hate trendy people.
8. RTH - August 9, 2009 9:19 PM
So... hopefully this is just a lure to kill anyone that actually spends money on this.
9. Yooarel.com - August 9, 2009 9:29 PM
@ 7: Shut up. The most trendy thing to do today is to say you hate trendy people. Quit being a self-absorbed douche. Trendy things are trendy for a reason: people like them.
ZOMG, I'M A GUY AND I LIKE NAKED GIRLS, I'M SO TRENDY!
Seriously...
10. Dishy Dishyington - August 9, 2009 9:34 PM
I like teh trendy.
It just shows how cool I am.
And not a douche bag.
11. STOMPY - August 9, 2009 9:41 PM
I'm a douche bag, but for different reasons.... mainly because females take their douches and fill up water ballons and throw them at me. Haven't figured out why yet.
12. Zomfg - August 9, 2009 10:07 PM
ZOMFG!!! Your all DOUCHE BAGS!!! Partially Gold Leafed Ones!!
How Trendy!!
13. guate6 - August 9, 2009 10:29 PM
Damn. Way too much...for that much money, I'd make a few wicked awesome computers.
Oh and the first paragraph of the article: awesome.
14. Paul? - August 9, 2009 10:32 PM
I'd buy it :/
15. fetus_mcnuggets - August 9, 2009 10:39 PM
haha senor GW prolly got caught masterbating...when he was little :o)
its so awkard when u catch the little filth mongrels tho ..
the facial expressions are uncanny !
16. Dinosaur Rex - August 9, 2009 10:58 PM
That's too much for a computer, gold is for stupid people who likes shinny stuff, they're as intelligent as those birds that steal shinny stuff.
17. Billy Rapture - August 9, 2009 11:22 PM
@15
Wtf are you talking about?
o.O
18. fetus_mcnuggets - August 9, 2009 11:46 PM
@ 17
this
http://www.youtube.com/verify_age?&next_url=/watch%3Fv%3DraxgcgNeFik%26ytsession%3D3R5_N-BMEzTgnqiZ9_0HdZSZLT7FPXcZETB-R7erL1cG93R4P8qk9psGHszAZJ4nrqEYRXcnW8ILiSeIQaiSOKm1cM1ygVy8X6sB7eRDlg1ftUbJZ0EOaYwx4bkzSkivN_olqhetE0rRhUk6alIBwGorls3a54-IlWDz5BN1ykdqe7VF_E7J_COkpZqy6Lqfe2g8G6lcrFS6EMcVUZtaHaRyuJF3f-09tETex1hB9yu9MuyuhGsknZ4lvDVqytw5t0k0t2_tRfgRhY65su7FJn3L5cHI0PqT
19. Robot - August 9, 2009 11:52 PM
@16
....I LOVE shiny things. I ran my friend over while on a bike cuz I saw something shiny once.
20. naas - August 10, 2009 12:03 AM
gawdy nautious crap
21. naas - August 10, 2009 12:20 AM
sorry GAUDY not gawdy, the mind went out for a smoke while the fingers danced
22. The Professional GOD - August 10, 2009 12:47 AM
Daisy is a bitch and should suck on my ........ POPSICLE! (sp?) while i play on this computer
23. Droo - August 10, 2009 1:01 AM
@23
Your awesome dude, ily.
hahah.
24. Jaycob - August 10, 2009 2:25 AM
meh i used to have one but i upgraded
25. Yooarel.com - August 10, 2009 2:57 AM
I would put this in my butt, and cleanly.
26. Daisy - August 10, 2009 3:02 AM
FAKE!!!!
This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.
This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max pulled a rifle on a kid he wanted to get off his lawn, and the neighbors started bringing him all manner of strange gifts.
27. coecoe - August 10, 2009 3:19 AM
@23
ily too. That made me laugh.
28. nicky - August 10, 2009 4:07 AM
Nike Air Structure Triax 91
Russian Style Cigarettes
29. nicky - August 10, 2009 4:08 AM
http://www.max-sky.com/Nike_Free_Woven_5.0_ND.html Nike Free Woven 5.0 ND
http://www.cigarettes-home.com/Russian_Style_cigarettes.html Russian Style Cigarettes
30. Jaycob - August 10, 2009 4:10 AM
and why is a 32.000$ comuter sittin on what looks like wet rocks !
31. Butte Force justice Bluff - August 10, 2009 5:16 AM
Imagine my disappointment when I realized that didn't say "Nike Free Women"
Barefoot and pregnant like God intended.
32. Pat - August 10, 2009 9:05 AM
@8 This is actually a Darwin Device. Anyone dumb enough to buy it dies seven days later.
33. Freddy K - August 10, 2009 11:06 AM
@Stompy: All your douchebags are belong to us!
34. Jon H - August 10, 2009 12:18 PM
Good lord, gold leaf is incredibly thin. Anyone who buys one of these things is getting ripped off. A book of 25 sheets (each 3.375" x 3.375", altogether enough to cover 284 sq. inches) can be had for about $50.
35. Iris - August 10, 2009 2:57 PM
gw I'll buy your old laptop!
the gold $32,000 one doesn't even look that great, srsly.
36. GeekoFan - August 11, 2009 4:09 AM
Must See!!
http://75684.onodot.com/
37. azzy - August 11, 2009 12:12 PM
i don't get it...is that a CPU?