Aug 31 2009I've Seen It All Now: A 2:30 News Report About A Broom That Stands On Its Own
This is a two and a half minute news report from Alabama about a woman who thinks there's "a little holy spirit" in her new consignment shop because she can stand a broom up unsupported in three separate locations. I watched the whole thing but I highly recommend you not unless you really hate yourself or are into masochism (I am). Which reminds me -- did I ever tell you about the time I had a woman stomp around on my chest with golf cleats on and then hit balls off my nipples? Of course not, cause it's none of your business. Fore!
Hit the jump for an equally horrible (but MUST SEE) news report about a bear in some woman's backyard, complete with cardboard cutout reenactment.
Youtube (broom)
and
Youtube (bear)
Thanks to Fally, Katie, Jon and Eddie, who don't believe in miracles, only ghosts.
Reader Comments
1. GoSS Jerkrk - August 31, 2009 4:39 PM
FACK FIREWALLS! and FIRSTARDS, and BATHCAPTAIN, and BRUTEFAGS
2. Rob - August 31, 2009 4:40 PM
Lol, I know who failed high school physics...
3. naas - August 31, 2009 4:41 PM
pfft, my penis stands on its own
4. darkmagician66699 - August 31, 2009 4:44 PM
Obviously a slooooooooooooooooow news day for that town.
5. GoSS Jerkrk - August 31, 2009 4:44 PM
@ naas, so it is detachable, that explains alot...
6. Zhaetur - August 31, 2009 4:44 PM
congrats
7. MeandIan - August 31, 2009 4:47 PM
Yea I saw this same thing in Harry Potter.
Muggles better watch out.
8. Cameron - August 31, 2009 4:49 PM
ROFL @ 0:56 (video #2)
9. JESUS IS THE BROOM, I'VE TOUCHED IT! - August 31, 2009 4:51 PM
OMGGG, THE BROOM WAS MADE SO PERFECT THAT IT ACTUALLY STANDS ON ITS OWN.
RIIGHT, I WOULDN'T BELIEVE THAT FOR A SECOND; IT'S DEFINITELY THE WORKS OF JESUS AND HIS HOLINESS. JESUS RIGHT NOW IS STANDING THERE (AS A BROOM) TO SHOW HOW STRONG AND BALANCED HE IS. IN FACT, THE PEOPLE WHO WALK AROUND THE BROOM OR TOUCH IT ARE POSSESSED WITH A GOD-LIKE ABILITY TO MANIPULATE PEOPLE TO THINK THE BROOM IS ACTUALLY JESUS. PRAISE HIS HOLY HOLY BROOM NAME!!
10. SHADOW6 - August 31, 2009 4:59 PM
people are retarded this shit happens all the time ooooooooooo aaaaaahhhhh so amazing
ive done it and so can u __Dr BOOM! magic!
wow its so amazing
11. meeotch - August 31, 2009 5:01 PM
I really hate people.
12. -Lmega5- - August 31, 2009 5:02 PM
my broom does that too.
13. -Lmega5- - August 31, 2009 5:05 PM
"i'm good....i'm faster than a bear..."
ORLY??? LET'S PUT THAT TO THE TEST, SHALL WE?
14. Beastman AIDS - August 31, 2009 5:06 PM
Oh my god people are shit. So, so shit.
15. ciao - August 31, 2009 5:12 PM
photoshop job.....hurr hurr hurr
16. bendizle - August 31, 2009 5:17 PM
i say we put the broom and the bear in a room.....and see what happens
17. Pistol Pete - August 31, 2009 5:21 PM
I have some thoughts on other ways she can get a broom to stand up by itself, but they involve reversing it and having her lay on her bellah.
18. NES--still-the-best - August 31, 2009 5:32 PM
@7
Screw Harry Potter, I saw this broom spiel way back in 1984 with "Breakin' ". That 'sweeping up' dance pwned this crap.
19. Retroprofile - August 31, 2009 5:50 PM
What I dont understand is why she isnt using it! Someone should put her in her place. What is she doing standing around???
Better yet why's she not in the kitchen??
20. naas - August 31, 2009 5:57 PM
@18 HA that's right.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVrWDPi12zE (1:10)
21. Jaded Icon - August 31, 2009 6:15 PM
This is why I don't use brooms.....that and the fact that its ALL carpet baby! WHOOT!
22. STOMPY - August 31, 2009 6:15 PM
his name was Gordon Shumway
23. STOMPY - August 31, 2009 6:15 PM
his name was Gordon Shumway
24. STOMPY - August 31, 2009 6:15 PM
his name was Gordon Shumway
25. STOMPY - August 31, 2009 6:16 PM
his name was Gordon Shumway
26. STOMPY - August 31, 2009 6:16 PM
his name was Gordon Shumway
27. STOMPY - August 31, 2009 6:16 PM
his name was Gordon Shumway
28. STOMPY - August 31, 2009 6:16 PM
his name was Gordon Shumway
29. STOMPY - August 31, 2009 6:16 PM
his name was Gordon Shumway
30. naas - August 31, 2009 6:24 PM
@STOMPY
! ! ! OCTOCOMMENT COMBO BONUS POINTS ! ! !
31. ctabs - August 31, 2009 6:24 PM
lols that bear things from my area! It was big news. I heard it got hit by a car though... some one should find that image.
32. Dutchman - August 31, 2009 6:26 PM
"I highly recommend you not"
... I should've listened...
33. naas - August 31, 2009 6:26 PM
@31 did they do another story with the same cut-out bear? they could have torn one of it's legs off, thrown some red paint on it & lay it down in the road as a cover picture
34. Foxx - August 31, 2009 6:27 PM
Thank God. See a article about broom standing on its own in alabama.. all i can think is "plz let it not be huntsville" near miss once again for my home town
35. Tennist0 - August 31, 2009 6:40 PM
Inland statesmen aer morons, nough said
36. Tennist0 - August 31, 2009 6:41 PM
*are
37. Crooked vultures - August 31, 2009 6:41 PM
Couldn't watch half of the first vid. But the second one was hilarious, thx for posting that GW .
38. Chuey "The Rock 'n' Roll" Midget - August 31, 2009 7:21 PM
Stupid!
39. Chuey "The Rock 'n' Roll" Midget - August 31, 2009 7:21 PM
Stupid!
40. jim eh - August 31, 2009 7:22 PM
I know someone who's going on my murder list.
41. jimmy - August 31, 2009 7:45 PM
"Next up, 3 strait weeks without any real news! Now back to you john,"
And did anyone else notice that that guy in the gray suit say " When you pick it up, You do feel a sense of a magnetic pull" ya, we call that gravity..
42. azzy - August 31, 2009 8:57 PM
Re-enactment fail!! XD
Wait, this isn't failblog, lol...wrong site^^
43. Harold^Sick - August 31, 2009 9:22 PM
They must not yet teach physics in Alabama. Dang that anti-God science, dang it to heck!
44. wtf - August 31, 2009 9:25 PM
WTF? are you kidding?
holly spirit? lmao... then i must have one too in my house because i do that all the time.
45. squeehunter - August 31, 2009 9:28 PM
Thanks for making the rest of the south look even stupider...
46. ken - August 31, 2009 9:29 PM
latest design supra shoes
47. Concerned Citizen - August 31, 2009 9:36 PM
"We're here! We're queer! We don't want any more bears!"
48. Ice - August 31, 2009 9:52 PM
How sad is this? I hate the world......
49. Free ipod - August 31, 2009 10:03 PM
wait so was the woman mentally retarded?
50. pez dispenser - August 31, 2009 10:40 PM
you do know she never mentioned jesus' name much less anything christian, your douchbaggery is not appreciated
51. pez dispenser - August 31, 2009 10:45 PM
whoops that comment is directed @9
52. Katie - August 31, 2009 11:29 PM
I love the part when he's like: "...Lightly touch the broom and it doesn't move. Knock it down, pick it back up, put it back where it was and it's stays right in it's place..."
53. GLADIATOR - September 1, 2009 1:02 AM
Simple answer ... "I Dream of Genie"
GENIE-E-E-E-E-E-E-E!!!!!! >:(
=-=-=-=
Join the game Brute and play against other players. It takes less than 5 minutes to play:
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54. Eric Kaz - September 1, 2009 1:38 AM
Haha I used to do this all the time at work when I got bored... kinda like trying to balance coins standing upright. Why haven't I been on the news yet?!
55. I heart Occult - September 1, 2009 1:46 AM
Hail thou holy cleaning device, for Jesus himself possesses it, just as said prophecy fortold. The Armageddon is near, and we must sacrifice Mr. Clean to this broom through anal execution, the same may be said for Mr. Hoover. Then we [whites] must all flee to the holyland, aka the Circle K men's bathroom stall #2 where we must flush the infants down the toilet, but not before taking "Nectar of Eternal Sleep" and lying in an Illuminati formation and painting ourselves red.
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56. higk - September 1, 2009 3:26 AM
WITCHES!!!! BURNBURNBURN!! >=0
57. Migo - September 1, 2009 3:35 AM
Alabama? off course, this broom absolutely proves Man was created by God and the holy spirit.. and the broom is evidence that evolution is wrong!! ... this Broom is "intelligent designed" to stand on its own, not an accident with electromagnetic fields, and static...not a hcance!!! and dont let the unbelievers call some expert to explain what is happening!!! Doubt science, beleive!! believe the holy Broom !!!!
58. Geekogee - September 1, 2009 6:45 AM
Must See!!!
http://alturl.com/obg7
________________
59. Mr. cow - September 1, 2009 7:14 AM
Moo
60. crus - September 1, 2009 7:48 AM
i stand on my legs
i am a magic broom !
61. omega57 - September 1, 2009 7:53 AM
Wht the crap is that?! who does she think we are?, Idiots?!
62. omega57 - September 1, 2009 7:54 AM
Wht the crap is that?! who does she think we are?, Idiots?!
63. Pat - September 1, 2009 8:48 AM
You can't see me right now, but I'm gaping like a fish.
64. Hudson - September 1, 2009 9:25 AM
This is why liberals control the media.
65. Katie - September 1, 2009 11:38 AM
Haha! That bear was awesome. Too funny. :D
66. Doc - September 1, 2009 12:10 PM
69th!!! win!
67. Hawk - September 1, 2009 1:10 PM
When I first saw this, I ran, grabbed my broom, and made it do the same thing. Moron!! Any broom can do that!!
68. Jim - September 1, 2009 9:41 PM
@70 Perhaps there's a little Holy Spirit in your room, too.
69. Garrett Williams - September 2, 2009 3:48 AM
I actually saw that broom story on TV and I live nowhere near Alabama! Can't remember if it was a local news story, CNN or Fox News, though. In fact, the room was too noisy to hear what they were saying. I saw it, though, and was uninterested.
70. vade - September 3, 2009 1:23 PM
What idiots! Stay in school!
71. supernova_hq - September 11, 2009 8:43 AM
@54 we used to do it with the roller-chairs in high school. We'd balance about 20 of them on a 40 degree angle so if you so much as BREATHED on one, it would knock all the other ones down and make an UNGODLY racket.
It was great fun to during lunch and then leave them like that for the next class.