Aug 20 2009About Time!: Glow In The Dark Toilet Paper
The pinnacle of human achievement: glow in the dark toilet paper. Finally, I can sleep at night...knowing that if I have to get up to go to the bathroom, I at least won't sit in the sink again. Or will I? I probably will. It's like a bidet!
Perfect for power cuts, this groovy glowing loo roll means that if you don't want to wake anyone up in your household by turning on the light, it'll cast its green glow over your bathroom, so you can find your way around.
Neat, but each roll will set you back $8 and change. And, as cool as glowing toilet paper is, I can't imagine you'd want something radioactive so close to your privates. I mean, who wants glowing children? Besides everybody! Which is exactly why I just wrapped my penis in a roll. See -- it looks like a mummy!
Thanks to naas, who doesn't need glowing toilet paper to find his ass.
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Reader Comments
1. hmm - August 20, 2009 2:41 PM
hmm... glowy
2. ONyx - August 20, 2009 2:41 PM
OMG FIRST
3. Coffee Addict - August 20, 2009 2:41 PM
craaaaap 1st
4. Mr. cow - August 20, 2009 2:42 PM
Moo
5. The Bush Whacker - August 20, 2009 2:43 PM
No to mention the destruction to the environment this type of paper would do.
6. Sidewalk Kid - August 20, 2009 2:43 PM
Radio active Mummy...
Sounds like a party to me!
7. pants - August 20, 2009 2:45 PM
kudos to naas
8. pepe la PEWPEW - August 20, 2009 2:47 PM
there's something glowing around URanus
9. Timbo - August 20, 2009 2:48 PM
$8 for something you wipe your butt with and flush away????
10. Hunter - August 20, 2009 2:55 PM
But will it make my BUTT glow?
11. Batman - August 20, 2009 2:58 PM
I just want too try this out for the fun of it, taking some to a Rave and the kids will love it.
12. supernova_hq - August 20, 2009 3:00 PM
Can't wait for somebody's house to get TP'd with THIS stuff!
13. so0pa - August 20, 2009 3:03 PM
*golfclap
14. Iris - August 20, 2009 3:13 PM
gw this is the 2nd post in a row where you mention your penis.
15. tobyraider - August 20, 2009 3:15 PM
Hey @1 2 & 3... You're idiots. @2 & 3, go sit in time out for the rest of the blog....
16. OmniSpyder - August 20, 2009 3:23 PM
Sold out!!! this would have been perfect for Burning Man this year.
17. Calabasa209 - August 20, 2009 3:26 PM
@11
that WOULD be great....
isnt anyone else curious about what makes it glow like that?? im VERY protective about my sphincter. i keeps shit tight son....
mine >> .
yours >> O
18. Amaranth - August 20, 2009 3:35 PM
does this mean your anus will be glowing after a few wipes?
19. Pedo Pedro - August 20, 2009 3:35 PM
I'm not shure if i want to wipe my ass with an electroluminescent phosphor powder of copper-activated zinc sulfide particles that has a size distribution with a D50 value of less than 12 micrometre (mum), and more preferably less than 10 mum. The powder is preferably made by a method that includes the steps of combining copper-doped zinc sulfide with sulfur, zinc oxide and a chloride-containing flux to form a first mixture blablabla
then it goes in the toilet then in the pipes then in the sewer then in the river then in the ocean. Phosphorus shit everyone.
20. tobito - August 20, 2009 3:36 PM
it sure as hell won't glow in the middle of the night - just like all of those glowing things that need to charge from daylight to glow a limited time.
but it's good when some dork puts out the light while you're taking a shit. so you can relax and finish your business anyway.
21. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - August 20, 2009 3:37 PM
Would a glow in the dark toilet seat/tank/etc. make more sense? I'm not one for glow in the dark anything near the happy place.
22. Hudson - August 20, 2009 3:39 PM
A glow-in-the-dark toilet would be where it's at. That way, you don't have to turn the light on to take a piss.
23. Intrepidpursuit - August 20, 2009 3:40 PM
Perfect for power cuts? Huh?
24. hmm - August 20, 2009 3:52 PM
@15 pull that stick outta your ass and join them
25. DrNecropolis - August 20, 2009 4:04 PM
They make casts that glow in the dark, bandaids that glow in the dark, make-up that glows in the dark. I hardly think glowing TP will be harmful to people or the environment any more than regular TP is. That being said... #12 FTW!!! As your reward I'll send you a prize, just need your address...
26. Ramblin Rebel - August 20, 2009 4:16 PM
You should see the warning Label on my Phosphorescent additives for printing. Then ask why the hell our stupid western culture has all the health maladies we have while others don't. You need glow in the dark additives in your hair gel so you can find your head and pull it out of your ass. idiots.
27. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - August 20, 2009 4:18 PM
26 - Right... because places like Africa (most of the continent anyway) aren't plagued by disease and malaise. Dumbass.
28. Skellitor - August 20, 2009 4:50 PM
goes with my radioactive fecal matter!
29. ramblin rebel - August 20, 2009 4:52 PM
$.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q
yet no volume of atrocities to compare with abortion, cancer, type one and two diabetes, and on and on. spawned from stupid man made idiocy. At least in the African sample these issues spawn from people fighting for life and freedom not slow death from novelties.
All of our current problems are a direct result of some brilliant past solution like this bovine scat. Those of alleged intelligence seem turn out to be the biggest problems. Much elaboration abounds needle dick.
30. Adam - August 20, 2009 5:22 PM
out of stock :(
31. kyle - August 20, 2009 6:32 PM
bout time http://kyle143.mybrute.com
32. Rich Waffle-U - August 21, 2009 5:45 AM
Behold! My ring is now glowing. Makes it easier to find in the dark. Y'know, if you're in to that sort of thing. I hope not.
33. Jaded Icon - August 21, 2009 7:52 AM
@ 29
I understand the point you are trying to make, but you really need to do a little research first.
Point one: Type 1 Diabetes is not considered a "choice". Most type 1s are diabetic because of genetic circumstances. Stress and sickness are also considered causes. Not morbid obesity, that’s more Type 2. Although you did not "say" it, you did allude to the fact that ALL diabetes is caused through lifestyle….and cancer, ect…
Point 2: Nice ideology, but with no facts to back up your statements you just sound like a loon. I suggest research into census numbers about Cancer trends that prove that "novelty" creations in "western society" cause the majority of maladies. Do the research, then we'll talk. However, you’re most likely going to be disappointed.
Point 3: FAH-Q is a woman, a hell of a woman. So your insult of "needle dick" doesn't really apply.
34. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - August 21, 2009 11:19 AM
29 - Actually, Africa's massive AIDS epidemic is due to choice! The people are choosing to fornicate with whomever, whenever, and the result has been horrific. The amount of people dying as a result of the constant power struggle is also a choice.
While I understand your frustration at our seemingly self-caused medical issues; I urge you to read a bit more on viruses, disease, epidemics, etc. They have always been and will always be part of humanity. Usually natural law will dictate population controls (you will see this in all species). These controls (see: disease, virus, etc.) help keep us from extinction. The problem truly comes in when you factor in our instinct to procreate. The more we populate an area, the more likely we are to develop medical issues, ranging from infertility to disease; nature is trying to keep us from wiping out our food source.
PS- If you have such a strong dislike of our culture, attempt to do something to bring about positive change. Bitching on the internet is not going to accomplish anything except temporarily inflating your otherwise flagging ego. Since we're tossing out incorrect gender specific insults: Ham Nipple Titties.
35. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - August 21, 2009 11:20 AM
33 - thanks =D
36. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - August 21, 2009 11:23 AM
Sorry to triple post, but I can't stop giggling over this:
"Much elaboration abounds needle dick"
WTF? Much epansion and explaination of my point abounds around my needle dick?
37. Jiakasuma - August 21, 2009 11:46 AM
I bought some....
38. geekogie - August 23, 2009 6:23 AM
Must See!
http://alturl.com/obg7
________________
39. SnOoPs - August 24, 2009 3:13 AM
@38 SPAM!!!
40. Coop Connor - October 15, 2009 3:58 AM
AHHHHH TP!!!! TP FOR MY BUNGHOLE!!!!!!
41. Muktabir - December 9, 2009 9:06 AM
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