Aug 5 2009Dang, You've Got It Rough: Video Game FML's

I've never heard of it & I find the geekologie boards more suitable for wasteful tasks like those listed above

,,,I just never complain about suckage unless something sucks

and by that I mean everything sucks

lunchtime suckas

Hey everybody, I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt!

I went for a swim today, thought it would be a nice relaxing way to spend a Wednesday. As soon as I got in the pool a robotic spider attached itself to my head and I was forced to jump and flail around like a maniac until the bloodthirsty robo-beast detached itself from my brain. FML.

I agree, your life sucks (1,846) - you totally deserve it (5)
On 08/05/1960 at 1:15pm - misc. - by Duke - Los Angeles

and the winner in teh category of posting every minute goes to......... naas!!..... (time for your acceptance speach...)

I get up every day to scour the internet for interesting and geeky tidbits for my posts. I try to make them witty and fun for my readers. All I want is for a bit of humorous banter and intelligent feedback. What I get are:
"FIRST!", "OLD", "NBD References", Porn links to pay only sites, and abunch of asshats either hitting on, or calling the only 2 girls here fat/stupid/ugly/etc.
And I STILL haven't made love to a dinosaur.

I agree, your life sucks (0) - you totally deserve it (0)
On 08/05/2009 at 2:18pm - misc. - by GW - Washington, D.C.

^Forgot to add: *FML

damnit.... copy/paste fail. Date should have been 08/05/1997

FML

I just found out today that Deborah doesn't like me and I won't be getting a promotion. I also found out that I am getting a sexual harrasment lawsuit against me. I think tommorow I might drink a fifth of vodka and buy a gun and try and kill myself, maybe score some coke.

I agree, your life sucks (giant fish) - you totally deserve it (Deborah)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:26pm - sad - by The Boss - Interwebs Wisconsin

damn FAH-Q, I was using your post as a template, now I forgot FML... way to drop the ball for everyone...

Sorry STOMPY, being a woman, I'm not used to carrying balls outside of my mouth. FML

@FAH-Q
Are you sure you don't have balls? Cause your on a roll!!! ahahaha ahaha ha... haha.... hehehe.... he .... snicker..... wheeew

@7

I accept this award shaped into the form of a golden 12" penis.

I will always keep it in a warm safe place for my enjoyment.

Thank you and good night.

@Thumper

So now I'm an asshat? Gee...thanks.

GFS - We're all asshats... No, really, we are all asshats. But I was referring more to the lurkers who pop out only on hot button issues. =)

@16

Wait, so FAH-Q is Thumperchica??? How/why did I not know about this?

I totally didn't pay attention to what GW said (eg "to write your own video game character FML's in the comments") and just wrote whatever I wanted. O also forgot 'FML', thus causing the comments section to go completely down the crapper. FML

I agree, your life sucks (0) - you totally deserve it (8)
On 08/05/2009 at 2:18 PM - pocket full - by FAH-Q - Failsville, ME

first

8 other people like this.

@18 I'm sooo confused now!

I actually read FML everyday...I get a few haha's and hehe's from it occasionally

@Cumoron

That's because you're either new or a lurker. I'm going with the latter.

I'm neither new nor a lurker. I'm here all day everyday and I missed it...

I got kidnapped by this crazy corporation and forced to relive memories of my ancestors past. Now I think they're probably going to kill me, and what have I learned from spending all that time as an assassin? How to see crap that some crazy fock wrote on the wall in invisible ink. FML.

@23

Eh, I'm fairly new. Been reading since last October or so. Most weeks I'm a lurker but every now and again I start posting for a couple of weeks.

For me Geekologie is like a drug that keeps coming back every time you quit.

I need Geekhab. (That wasn't funny was it? No... I didn't think so... FML)

Today, my pet frog named Fred, decides to leap out of his fish bowl and out the door. Then, he touched a radioactive chest and grow to an enormous size! Fred was so big that he and the chest then fell into a hole in the earth. FML

I agree, your life sucks (1,846) - you totally deserve it (5)
On 11/30/1988 1:15pm - misc. - by Jason - Middle of the Earth

@26

You're getting better. Just don't become firstarded or a brutefag and you might have a shot in this very cruel comments board.

@27

Blaster Master?

@18

I thought everyone knew that!
Wassup to my girly Thumper!!

Holla!

;)

@19. I live in Maine and every place in Maine is Failsville. haha.

Cameron... I hope you die

This is Soooo good.

Today I woke up to a future ruled by beautiful purple tentacles. Then some dorky kid, a roady and a disturbed young girl used port-a-potty time machines to thwart my evil plot. Not only did they do this, but in THREE DIFFERENT ERAS. Green tentacle is gloating....FML.

I agree, your life sucks (12) - you totally deserve it (4,257)
On 6/09/future 6:00pm - misc - by Purple Tentacle - Top of the Mansion

@33 nice

Mmmm, lunch.

@31

I can't die. Atropos already tried to cut my thread of life with her dreaded shears, but just before she could my string of life turned to gold and f*cked up her stupid death shears.

So eat that, pussy.

@ everyone. you guys all smell like poop and i hate you. also i think you guys are a bunch of raTARDS who like eating butts and grundles. If i were you i would just go lick my fingers and put em down my pee hole. thanks!

that is funny as hell thanks for the post.

Get Wet with Eliza Dushku http://tiny.cc/5XZCn

my wow account got deleted. then 3 million people wanted to know why i tried to stick a remote control in my ass. FML

taco bell was delicious today, FML

I just won the lottery! FML

@15 right next to the chrome 12" penis award on my bedstand, indeed

I get to golf today! FML

@ everyone, you lil pee drinkers to scared to get in a verbal jousting match with me? i bet thats because you're brains stink like fat chicks in a humid environment

@ everyone. one time i pooped so much feces out of my butt that the toilet had trouble doing the nom nom so i had to bag the left overs for him

Wow, way to make me feel out of the loop, never heard of FML, pretty good though, Mario was the best.

oh no RoboticDeathArmy hates us. he really sucks.

Ok. You've been pointed at. everyone noticed you. Now, piss off.

HI FRIENDS PAT HERE tryin to poop on butts and faces

@ everyone, im not doing this for attention i have a serious problem which makes not not post on this thread. and also i think you guys are all little girls with little girl penises and no boobs

@44 it's 'too scared'.... not 'to scared'

@ PAT. no way i love pat PAT pAT pAt!!!!!!!! one time i pooped a lawn dart. then my dad told me i was sodomized by a lawn dart when i was young. we had a good laugh then i went to the hospitle. poop ftw

RDA, I'm not sure I understand you're problem, but based on your post at #49 I have concluded that you are just retarded.

@ naas. touche sir i did indeed use the wrong form of to,too and two. theres just so many choices that i get flustered sometimes. you must have mastered the english language to have had such an easy time finding that epic mistake. also i farted just now and it's bad

@52 it's recess & RDA is staying in the computer lab today

Wow. I get it now. RDA is posting so that we can all feel better about ourselves because most of us aren't complete dumb asses.

@ everyone. does anyone know when the internet closes? i feel like sometimes it closes early on wednesday. i could be wrong... If it is closing soon could someone please tell me so i can get off of it before it closes, i dont want to be stuck in the interwebz all night again

@ jonny quest. are you the real jonny quest? like that guy whos one tv? i heard some where that he is gay or bi... or something weird. if you are can i have your autograph and possibly a date?

*on tv sorry

@54 Too bad RDA is just slamming the keyboard with his face and then clicking "Post Your Comment"

@57

Welcome to Geekologie. You must be new here. Please accept this link as a token of our new hatred for each other. http://knight.lambdacalcul.us/personal/images/JonnyQuest.png
That's what Jonny looks like now. A broken junkie. Now STFU and GTFO.

@ JQ. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA im definitely doing that! thats how the words are made! and can someone please answer my internet question, im getting worried

Yes. I am THE Jonny Quest. I'm not gay or bi or one tv. I just hate my family and I hang out in my underwear all day and also am a drug addict. Haven't you seen the show I make quest appearances on, The Venture Bros.

yeah im not really new, i usually just read the posts at work but im bored and wanted to see how quickly everyone would get pissed if i acted like a jackass. you nerds get really riled up when a new guy posts in here huh? ill be friends with you guys if you wanna play lego fort after i get outa work! anyone here have the pirate set? i lost some of those pieces :(

That just makes me hate you even more RDA.

i think by balls might be gay... they are always touching each other and now that my dick has caught on to their shenanigans he keeps getting really stiff and moves up to my belly to get away from it. do you think my penis is homophobic? what should i do?

Remove penis and consume.

HAHAHAHHAHAHA i just looked @ JQ's myspace. your face is so aweful man! holy santa clause s**t! there isn't enough plastic or surgery to make that mug loveable. seriously! was there a veterinarian present during your birth? you look like poop f**ked s**t and had a miscarriage. calculus couldn't solve you're faces problem! jk bro your cute

@28 Done in one. Nice guess.

Hey everybody, I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt!

I woke up this morning and had nothing better to do than troll the comment section at geekologie. FML

@68

One of the best games ever made. Too bad I could never get past level 7.

oh no! RDA found out that I'm just another typical geek?! But I notice that RDA has no way of being contacted except via lame ass geekologie comments.

i love kissing my butt when its pooping, you forgot that when you immitated my name and posted for me. nice burn tho

My uncle and father both molested me when I was young. Now to make up for the emotional (and intestinal) scarring, I go on the internet and call other people bad things. FML

HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS

"Today I travelled to Raccoon City to have a look at all the monuments, with my new bacon cologne on. As soon as I get there someone bites my arm off. FML"

;_; Inspired by my love for the GW and Resident Evil. :3

that is because i am not real, im a comment fairy sent to f**k wit chu! and ruin all your geeky fun! i can be contacted at the interwebz anytime before it closes

my bumhole has a circumference of 6 inches

today I was raped by several peni made up of ze allotrope of carbon FML

Ok let's be serious for a second here. Before it was just mindless babble and bashings, but seriously, molestation isn't funny. I won't name any names that, but I know someone that was molested by a family member as a child and for some f**king asshole like you to come along and make jokes about it crosses the line. This convo is over.

if i had a penis i would use it as a donut/horse shoe/peach ring holder :o)

im outa here, good chatin with you guys... glad we all became friends in the end, what a whacky time we had. same time tomorrow? il bring pita bread and ginger ale! its made from real gingers, imported from the emerald isle

@80 I'm sorry your uncle molested you, but you have to get over it some time.

SERIOUS TIME I didn't say molestation was funny, actually I don't usually tell people this but I kind of liked it, which really coonfuses me sometimes when I'm laying in bed at night wearing my mother's old panties and mumbling the lyrics to I Will Survive and I suddenly have an accidental bowel movement.

@ 83 and RDA and anyone else that finds rape and molestation funny...don't bother. It's a serious matter and I can take a joke as well as the next person, but that shit isn't funny. It scars a person for life and can cause serious emotional problems. So, anyone trying to get a rise out of me by making comments about either of the two aforementioned subjects is wasting their time.

@81 What? OK so I'm an old fart and I don't always know what the cool names are for the same old sex acts are like Jalapeno Santa, or 3/8 carwash but WTF?

19 - Well done. I forgot to be a lemming today.

I am f*cking an idiot! My wife is mentally handicapped. She's like a five year old emotionally. She passed her GED but come on, she's still slow. i get her govt check every month. she will do whatever. I. Want. plus I go to retard events and pick up other Taads. Pretty easy to cheat on her. When she talks dirty in that voice...you know guys, THAT voice. The taad one. Oh my GOD! "Ew wan be to thuk your gok?" mmmmm. stabbed her sister in the eye once.
With one of those shrimp cocktail forks. You know the little ones? I was at her parent’s house for thanksgiving two years ago. It’s exactly like you think. The whole fam gets govt money and the place is a f*cking pigstye. Filthy kids running around naked, overloaded cat box, cat pees everywhere. The sh*tter is a disaster. It was after dinner and I had had several beers. I was sitting on the couch listening to her retard sister talking. She’s not like Anna who is kinda shy. She’s one of those loudmouth, bossy women, but a re-re. It is so f*cking obnoxious! On and on she won’t shut up. And I just had this impulse, ya know? I just wanted to stab her. I guess I had hung around the family for too long and gotten used to kinda doing what I want. Land of the blind know what I mean? So I picked up a shrimp cocktail fork and just held it in my hand. Turned it around, looking at the light from the TV shining off the tines. And WHAM! Jammed that f*cker right in her eye! She howled like a… well like a stuck retard. Course that got every kid in the house hollering too. Dad’s up like a shot storming into the living room yelling and he’s not even sure why. Just like dogs barking. So f*ckit, I grab Anna and hightail it outta there. We’re in the car driving home, she’s crying, punching me in the shoulder. So I pull over in the Wendy’s parking lot to calm her down. We talked for about 15 minutes and I apologised and told her I don’t know why I did it but I would pray extra hard and confess on Sunday. So then we made up and she gave me a bl*wj*b right there in the car. After stabbing her sister in the eye on Thanksgiving. Oh, and RoboticDeathArmy’s a fag.

cool story, bro

88 - too.... many... words... short... attention... span...
Only part I read:
"So then we made up and she gave me a bl*wj*b right there in the car. After stabbing her sister in the eye on Thanksgiving. Oh, and RoboticDeathArmy’s a fag."

Made me LOL. Thank you.

@RoboticDeathArmy. I never post comments on things such as this, but your somewhat retarded comments have seemed to compel me. The fact that you have to resort to fart jokes or fecal matter every time you comment on something shows a serious lack of intelligence and extreme immaturity. Making fun of geeks? Just because you may have been held back, or left in the special ed classes doesn't mean you have to annoy the people who are smarter than you, because you're insecure. So please, do this website, your family, and the people around you a favor and kill yourself. I assure you, no one will morn.

@ 86
those 5 cent gummy rings from 7 -11 i would use my shlong to stretch candy :o)

but if you have a shlort iit doesnt work .." supposingly"
>> 3/8 carwash is that from the karma sutra on blue ray???????

I hate when people use other people's name to post shit. It's lame. I am seeing "RoboticDeathArmy" and "therealRoboticDeathArmy" and its confusing and just....wow. these posts have gotten way out of control AND whoever the RDA is that I was fighting with earlier: You're still a fag and I still hate you.

JONNY QUEST YOU FILTH MONGREL YOU CANT IMPREGNATE ME THEN LEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE

you are such roadkill on the information highway !!!

@94 That's a bit harsh. A filth mongrel? Ouch. If you would, please, reconsider letting me impregnate you, I would be greatly appreciative. I can let my legacy die. I need to spread my seed, but don't expect any money, or weekend visits, or anything afterward, because that ain't how I roll, baby.

i can't let my legacy die*

Wow, reading the comments today is like voting between a Douchebag and a Shit Sandwich.

I didn't vote and then Diddy showed up and pointed a gun in my face. Wait....am I....one of the two horrible candidates? If so.....DIBS ON TURD SANDWICH! If not, just ignore that last remark.

@8
Idk if you've noticed, but I'm a girl too you know...
if it wasn't obvious with my "OMG"s "Totally" and by the fact that I hit on Gw

@85 I've seen rape victims explain what rape is like. She said it's like when you are sneaking up on someone in cs and they turn around and hs you.

@99 A lady, eh? Well, hello there. I'm not THE GW, but I am a geek and occasionally the circumstance arises where I have to write things.

@ 100 nice attempt at ripping off Dane Cook.

@102 Attempt? I ripped him off like a duct tape on a post-rape victim.

All my training finally paid off. Got promoted to the secret Marine Space division. Next thing I know these giant monsters are throwing fire balls at me! Oh and WTF is this chain saw doing here!

@ 91

Well said. Too bad you don't post more. Geekologie needs more cute girls to comment........girls who like zombies......girls who might have read Max Brooks and then started to plan for a class 5 infection.

I woke up this morning from cryo sleep. Suprise, the ship is being attacked....again! Make it to the captain and the old man hands me a gun with no ammo. I swear to god I think is likes f*cking with me. Gonna do kill some aliens midgets and hope I can find a way to AWOL when I get home.

I agree, your life sucks (1) - you totally deserve it (5)
On 08/05/2009 at 5:46pm - misc. - by Master Chief - Someplace called Halo

@ 95 give me your seeds i will sprinkle them on my mr T chia pet alarm clock

"Quit yo Jibber-jabber! You ain't hurt, yo pathetic now go play wit chyo son"

our son microwaved an etch-a-sketch ....

@101 Yes a lady. Not an old lady, a YOUNG lady. 17 to be exact.
I don't look like a geek, but at heart I somewhat am :)
What is it that you write btw?

@ 108
us cutie patooties aka hot young chicaaaaaaaas
must not address the nerds

half these guys are ass pirates run away !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(stop the mackade)

horf horf

Whats a mackade? and ass pirates run away?
And I'm not necessarily addressing them, I'm reading and commenting. :) You make it sound like I"m sleeping with the guys. I'm just too nice to not reply to someone who tells me something.

@everyone. DANG! this is the most fun i have ever had starting sh*t online. thank you all for the entertainment. Im honored you guys would take the time to type hateful things back at me, the a-hole who loves teasing nerds on the interwebz. im going to moan about jonny quest tonight when i sodomize my urethra with a oral-B spin brush. for realz.

so are you the real roboticdeatharmy or are you the real therealroboticdeatharmy? no the real roboticdeatharmy is right, no one tried to fake therealroboticdeatharmy, just the roboticdeatharmy... or did they? I must admit you are very shocking. I for one am shocked. By your taboo breaking i mean. I mean you just say stuff. And I mean no one else would have the guts to say it. You speak the truth. You say the stuff we are afraid to say. About sex. and appliances. and poo. shocking I say. Once I taught my Italian grandmother to swear phonetically. 'sabout the same I guess. I wish I wuz you, though. The real roboticdeatharmy I mean. not the poseures. <-french
so come on, man. Pony up! tell us what it's REALLY like. To be you I mean. You are so f*cking cool. On. The. Edge. Cutting. You can make people angry. IAre you a car salseman? I mean with all that psychology n stuff? Like mind manipulation? You sure did push alot of buttons. Ninja skillz.

Hey, I wanna be the army man too. I can yell the bad words. I mean it makes ME want to go F*CK ROBOT ARMY DUDE F*CK HIM HE IS A FAG FAGGITY FAG FAGARINO HOLE PENIS SUCK POOPIE DOO-DOO GAGA WEEEE! YOU POOPIE BAD MAN FINGER but I won’t machine man vagina queasynart anus frogurt. That IS fun! I am an army poobot convert! Ewe ROCK armyjelly guy! All hail doody dude!

Yes, OH YES, MY TURN!
You're so gay
You probably think this gay is a gay-gay.
You're so GAY
I'll gay gay gay gay gay gay gay GAY gay,
GAY gay, GAY gay!
You had me several years ago
When I was still quite naive
Well, you said that we made such a pretty pair
And that you would never leave
But you gave away the things you loved
And one of them was me
I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee, and

E V E R Y B O D Y!
(tew the tune of Carly Simon's "You're So Vain")

GAY GAY GAY, (WAAAAAAAWWW!)
GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY (i love you jelly man!)

Youre so GAAAAY! :-)
Tra-la-la! La, la la, la GAY la!
WHEEEE!

I used to be a plumber but a few years ago i saved a princess and now i cant help being forced into driving / olympic / fighting and even F*&%n TENNIS competitions. FML

It's 0144 and I am still awake, commenting about crap on the internet. (cause somebody is still wrong) FML

Oh. and see what I did? I broke my story up into several shorter ones so's not to bore the ADD folks, of which I'm one, and to keep FullJellyJacket, sorry RedDangerAnus, in the mix.

Odd, but thoughtful,
Bob

@everyone that posted fmls

ur fmls suck used dilly doe

wooooooooooooooooooo....
you hear that sound i<3samus? there's no one here. talkin to the wind my son.
"missed it by that much"

Hey RectalDailyAllowance! Are you really gonna put a toothbrush in the end of your penis(@111)? Technically that's not sodomy. Sodomy is anal intercourse or, depending on where you live, anal and or oral intercourse. FML that I know that. Well, a girl's gotta protect herself.

Must See!!

http://75684.onodot.com/

"Naas" is a POES!He smells like a POES!cuz he is a POES!

Now thats a Wil Wheaton moment

i woke up this morning with such a huge boner (4 inches, new record!), turns out i left the spin brush in penis!

so who actually wants to be my friend? i really like friends and junk and if you came with benefits its even better. but i dont want any of those poop noodles who can't take a joke and think geekologie comment sections are for being serious to be my friend, i want those people to come over to apt and bleach my pubes with hydrogen peroxide

just farted.... its BAAAAAAAD. guinness farts....

my pubes are 2 cm in diameter and stronger then spider silk. they also grow thickest on the tip of my weinnnnnnn! YA!

Today, i was sitting all alone in my cell, still contemplating why I had been there for so long. The entire world has gone to hell, and yet, nobody has set me free. Sure, I was safe in there, but for how long? Those Grubs aren't as dumb as they look. Then, my old friend Dom swung open my cell door and threw me a bag of armor and weapons. He told me he was breaking orders to get me out, and that he was risking his life doing it. He probably just wants me to help him find his lost wife. Then I realized I'd be fighting all these Locusts all day, and probably for the rest of my life. FML

I want to be RoboticDeathArmy's BEST FRIEND!!!! My e-mail is ihatecats@yahoo.com E-mail me soon, RoboticDeathArmy!!!!!!!!!!

Today, I conquered the arena, totally annihilated the bandits, escorted scared merchants through swamps, beat up the Guild Master, found my sister, located all of the silver keys, and helped the guards fend off evil. Butterflies were following me around!! To celebrate, I went to give my wife a hug as soon as I walked in the door. I forgot I was still in berserk-mode. She's dead now, and I'm in prison, getting sodomized on a regular basis by an inmate who tugs on my horns and moans 'Jack!' to the clown in the mask beating it outside my cell. FML.

I agree, your life sucks (4729) - you totally deserve it (65138462902)
On 10/05/2007 at 5:24 pm - misc. - by The Hero - PrisonBlock1337

...it was either Fable or a Carmen SanDiego.
Myah.

too

many

words

@106 FUNNY
@127 fail
@129 hahahahaha

ill try now that ive passed judgement:

I'm stuck in this backwater hole of a planet. I have swamp nut from this armor and because this entire damn planet is a desert. My boss is an ass on the local crimelord's payroll, and what's more- i can't find the droids I'm looking for. FML.

I agree, your life sucks (4729) - you totally deserve it (65138462902)
On a long time ago at 5:24 pm - misc. - by Stormtrooper CC3137 - Tattooine

Have you heard about http://www.muttr.com ? It has exploded onto the scene out of no where... Muttr allows the user to speak freely and say whatever is on their mind, anonymously, and it feels great doing so!

Muttr is straight to the point, simple, eye pleasing, and extremely easy to use. It will remain my choice for quite some time now! Trust me, there are plenty of things I will always need to just vent about lol. Heck, if you have nothing to vent about... since the site is pretty much no holds bar, the "Muttrs" on there can get rather amusing haha.