Aug 22 2009 High Security: USB Drive Has Number Lock

Worried about somebody getting at the precious files on you flash drive? Try keeping it in your pocket and not leaving it on the bus. But if you're really worried you should handcuff it to your wrist like a briefcase filled with pirate treasure. Alternatively, get a Personal Pocket Safe USB Drive ($99).

[The drive] features a built in num keypad that requires you to enter a pin code before you can access your data. It is the 256bit encryption, if someone try to access your data by forcing access, the Personal Pocket Safe USB Drive will automatically destroy all data stored on the drive. However, if you do worry that you'll forget your PIN you can back everything up online, and there's also an optional PIN replacement assistance service available too.

Wow, that seems pretty intense. You must have some seriously serious files in order to require this much security. What are you, a spy? And, if so, how about hooking me up with a bow tie camera?

Personal Pocket Safe USB Drive [likecool]

Thanks to Ste, who keeps his data protected the old fashioned way: with hungry lions.

Aug 22 2009 You've Got To Be Kidding Me: Winkers Jeans

Winkers are jeans that have graphics on the ass that appear to move as you walk. They're called Winkers because the first pair they designed have a pair of eyes that appear to wink. These are by far the most ridiculous pants I've ever seen, so, yeah, sure to be a hit. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a date with an active volcano.

Youtube

Thanks to Richard, Brandon in New Orleans, Dude McRad and Dan, who prefer to wink with their hats like normal people.

Aug 22 2009 Chicken Buns: KFC's New WTF Sandwich

KFC just released a new sandwich called the Double Down that features bacon and cheese IN BETWEEN TWO CHICKEN FILLET BUNS. Because, seriously, bread is just filler anyways. A recent review:

That's it? That is the sandwich? That's not worth five dollars. Oh... oh my God. That is the best thing ever. I don't know what "Colonel's Sauce" is, but it is like a party in my mouth. This is completely worth the five dollars. Unfortunately I'm going to end up weighing 700 lbs after this, but it is simply amazing.

Wow, I kind of absolutely don't want to try that. But I will tell you a chicken joke I came up with last night.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To nug-get to the other side. HIYO! I should do stand up.

Hit the jump for an actual product shot and a commercial.

Continue Reading " Chicken Buns: KFC's New WTF Sandwich "

Aug 22 2009 New World Of Warcraft Expansion Coming

The latest World of Warcraft expansion, Cataclysm, is coming and there are gonna be lots of exciting new things to play and do. Plus, there's a wolf-people race. That's right: wolf people. OW OW OOOOOOOOOOOW!

* Two New Playable Races: Adventure as one of two new races--the cursed worgen with the Alliance or the resourceful goblins with the Horde.
* Level Cap Increased to 85: Earn new abilities, tap into new talents, and progress through the path system, a new way for players to improve characters.
* Classic Zones Remade: Familiar zones across the original continents of Kalimdor and the Eastern Kingdoms have been altered forever and updated with new content, from the devastated Badlands to the broken Barrens, which has been sundered in two.
* New High-Level Zones: Explore newly opened parts of the world, including Uldum, Grim Batol, and the great Sunken City of Vashj'ir beneath the sea.
* More Raid Content than Ever Before: Enjoy more high-level raid content than previous expansions, with optional more challenging versions of all encounters.
* New Race and Class Combinations: Explore Azeroth as a gnome priest, blood elf warrior, or one of the other never-before-available race and class combinations.
* Guild Advancement: Progress as a guild to earn guild levels and guild achievements.
* New PvP Zone & Rated Battlegrounds: Take on PvP objectives and daily quests on Tol Barad Island, a new Wintergrasp-like zone, and wage war in all-new rated Battlegrounds.
* Archaeology: Master a new secondary profession to unearth valuable artifacts and earn unique rewards.
* Flying Mounts in Azeroth: Explore Kalimdor and the Eastern Kingdoms like never before.

OMG, OMG -- I'm soooooo gonna be the first level 85 Worgen! AND THEN I'M GONNA COME BLOW YOUR HOUSE DOWN, THREE LITTLE PIGS STYLE. Afterward, a luau.

Official Site

Thanks to Pedro and lauren, who already have level 90 Worgens because they're from the future.

Aug 21 2009 Interesting: Video Explaining The Big Bang

This is a video produced by Columbia University explaining the Big Bang in terms even a sped like myself can understand. I thought it was pretty interesting, especially the notion that nothing, not even time, existed before the Big Bang. That blew my mind. Or should I say Big Banged my mind?! Blew? Okay.

Big Bang animation, best demo of universe's birth ever [dvice]

Aug 21 2009 Segway's Little Sister: The eniCycle

The eniCycle was designed by Aleksander Polutnik and is the lovechild of a Segway and whatever the hell this thing is. And I, for one, would totally ride it. Without a helmet. I'm bad!

The EniCycle is powered by an electric 1000 watt hub motor that you lean forward to set into motion--just like a Segway. Measuring your vertical angle 100 times a second, the gyroscopes make adjustments to help keep you balanced.

Not only would I ride the hell out of this thing, I would do it juggling bears. And not just because I'm hardcore, but because I'm classically trained for the circus. Just sayin', I can eat fire (now booking birthday parties).

Q: What did the snail riding the turtle say?
A: WHEEEEEEEE!

Hit the jump for a video of the uni in action.

Continue Reading " Segway's Little Sister: The eniCycle "

Aug 21 2009 Uh-Oh: Gamers More Likely To Be Depressed

No that isn't me. That is a sad gamer. You see, a recent study found that gamers are more likely to be depressed than non-gamers. Shocking, I know.

The average gamer is 35, overweight, and more likely to be depressed, says a new study conducted by researchers at the Center for Disease Control and Prevention.

The study, which was carried out in the Seattle-Tacoma area, found that gamers reported "lower extraversion, consistent with research on adolescents that linked video-game playing to a sedentary lifestyle and overweight status, and to mental-health concerns."

Oh yeah? Well I'm only 28, overweight and depressed. So put that in your study and smoke it like a bong (BLUBLBLUBLBLUBLBLUBLUB)!

Study: Games are depressing...or are they? [yahoo]

Thanks to Matt, who is like a giraffe in a potato sack.

Aug 21 2009 Does The Dissolving Bikini Really Work?

This is a teaser trailer for a video demonstrating whether or not the dissolving bikini I posted earlier actually works. SPOILER ALERT: It does. Except it's way freaking lame and the whole bikini doesn't actually dissolve, just a couple small bands holding it on. Go HERE to see the full video, which is advertised as SFW but I'm pretty sure I saw a nipple at 0:31. Yep, there it is. Also, there's a NSFW version HERE which has a lot more nipples. Which, I think we can all agree, are what Fridays are all about...
...
...
...
...to the nudey bar! You're driving.

Video: Clint test de oplosbare bikini [clint]

Thanks to Jef, who makes bikinis disappear the old fashioned way: with x-ray vision.

Aug 21 2009 Creepy: An Edward Cullen Shower Curtain

Because it's a well known fact vampires are pervbags that like to stare at you while you piss, here's a custom Edward Cullen shower curtain. It was handpainted by Etsy seller CustomShowerCurtains and will set you back a cool 75 bones. Now, you may be wondering why I'm posting a Twilight shower curtain in the first place. And the answer to that, my friends, is for the womens. Apparently they love this shit. Also, shoes and cooking. DO I KNOW THEM OR WHAT?!

Product Page

Thanks to Jay, who caught Bella watching him projectile vomit after a long night of drinking.

Aug 21 2009 Safety First: A Chain Mail Chess Set

This is a chess set made out of chain mail. It is impervious to arrows and sword attacks. Which is good because a lot of times I like to threaten my opponents with weapons while we're playing. You know, to keep them on their toes (beat me and you're dead). You ever been maced in the face before? I'm talking about the spikey ball not the spray. That shit hurts like a mother. But not half as bad as getting trebuchet'ed in the taint. AND I CAN MAKE THAT DREAM A REALITY. Checkmate.

Hit the jump for a bunch more shots.

Continue Reading " Safety First: A Chain Mail Chess Set "

Aug 20 2009 RAWR!: The Best iPhone Dock Ever Made

This is an iPhone dock made out of a dinosaur toy. You can make one yourself if you want. You just cut a hole in a dinosaur toy, maybe pleasure yourself with it a couple times because I mean, it's there, and then stuff the docking wire in there. It is seriously the best iPhone dock you could possibly ever make and I don't want any lip about it. I mean it, what I say goes. I am the world's greatest lover. BUT YOU'LL NEVER KNOW CAUSE I'M SAVING MYSELF FOR SOMEONE SPECIAL. No, I said special, not special needs.

iPhone Dinosaur Dock Is Bound To Rule Them All [iphonesavior]

Thanks to Byll and Aaron, who, RAWR! Okay, now I'm in the mood.

Aug 20 2009 Sweet Costume, Bro: Bumblebee Transformer

If you've been reading Geekologie long enough you may recall the homemade Transformer costume videos I posted way back in October '07 (the dark years). Well this Bumblebee costume is similar, just not made out of cardboard (skip about halfway through to see the transformation). Apparently it's being worn by some poor sap at a car dealership in order to hype some sort of 'Transforming Deals!' promotion. The point is, I need you to help me whip this guy's ass and take that costume. I'm tired of always being a ninja turtle. Psyyyyyyyyche -- TURTLE POWER!

Youtube

Thanks to Yopoleo, who once wore a gorilla suit to promote a mattress store and whistled at girls as they drove by.

Aug 20 2009 Wonderful News: Robots Learn How To Lie

In an experiment that shouldn't surprise anybody with half a brain that sleeps with a giant robot-burning laser under their pillow, scientists have shown that robots have the ability to evolve and lie. And this is to one another -- imagine what they'd tell a human! Also, this quote is kind of long, but it's interesting and important to read if you want to understand the experiment. However, if you just want to type FIRST! in the comments and not learn anything, you should probably skip it (and then off a building). Did I say skip? I meant dive. Just kidding, I don't care.

In an experiment run at the Laboratory of Intelligent Systems in the Ecole Polytechnique Fédérale of Lausanne, Switzerland*, robots that were designed to cooperate in searching out a beneficial resource and avoiding a poisonous one learned to lie to each other in an attempt to hoard the resource.

The experiment involved 1,000 robots divided into 10 different groups. Each robot had a sensor, a blue light, and its own 264-bit binary code "genome" that governed how it reacted to different stimuli. The first generation robots were programmed to turn the light on when they found the good resource, helping the other robots in the group find it.

The robots got higher marks for finding and sitting on the good resource, and negative points for hanging around the poisoned resource. The 200 highest-scoring genomes were then randomly "mated" and mutated to produce a new generation of programming. Within nine generations, the robots became excellent at finding the positive resource, and communicating with each other to direct other robots to the good resource.

However, there was a catch. A limited amount of access to the good resource meant that not every robot could benefit when it was found, and overcrowding could drive away the robot that originally found it.

After 500 generations, 60 percent of the robots had evolved to keep their light off when they found the good resource, hogging it all for themselves. Even more telling, a third of the robots evolved to actually look for the liars by developing an aversion to the light; the exact opposite of their original programming!

Notice how I bolded that last line? Reread it. Anybody else see something inherently wrong with that? Now, if you will recall the first law of robotics: A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm. See where I'm going with this? OUTERSPACE BITCHES, I'M NOT WAITING AROUND FOR THIS SHIT TO GO DOWN.

Evolving Robots Learn To Lie To Each Other [popsci]

Thanks to Sarah, biggity2bit, greg, Phil, John, Pepper, Sven, Shawn, Rossco, Terrance, timpeva, ffffffffffffffffffffffffffff, SharaSue, Sn0zz, SeanJon, billcollider, Tyrogyro and yayinternets, who only lie about their age and marital status.

Aug 20 2009 About Time!: Glow In The Dark Toilet Paper

The pinnacle of human achievement: glow in the dark toilet paper. Finally, I can sleep at night...knowing that if I have to get up to go to the bathroom, I at least won't sit in the sink again. Or will I? I probably will. It's like a bidet!

Perfect for power cuts, this groovy glowing loo roll means that if you don't want to wake anyone up in your household by turning on the light, it'll cast its green glow over your bathroom, so you can find your way around.

Neat, but each roll will set you back $8 and change. And, as cool as glowing toilet paper is, I can't imagine you'd want something radioactive so close to your privates. I mean, who wants glowing children? Besides everybody! Which is exactly why I just wrapped my penis in a roll. See -- it looks like a mummy!

Product Site

Thanks to naas, who doesn't need glowing toilet paper to find his ass.

Aug 20 2009 Screw The Future(!): Robotic Prostitutes

Robotic hookers folks, robotic hookers. Marinate on that one for a second while I down this zucchini bread. Then, I'll be back to discuss the moral ramifications of banging a robot.

It sounds like science fiction, but robot bar staff, hotel rooms that change colour, cruise ships as big as aircraft carriers and even robot sex are part of the future for travellers, a tourism conference has been told.

Even robot "prostitutes" that would not pass on diseases such as HIV could make an appearance...

"But you're talking about extreme futures."

First of all, no. Secondly, I would rather jam my penis in an electrical outlet (and have before -- now it can shoot lightning) than have sex with a robot. And thirdly, this certainly brings to meaning to the phrase 'sex machine', doesn't it? No? Well what about robo-hos?

Robot prostitutes tipped to tempt future tourists [theindependent]

Thanks to Caroline, who once pulled the old quarter-on-a-string trick and managed to score free services.

Aug 20 2009 Not Worth It: Shop Keeper Fights Laptop Away From Thief WHILE AVOIDING PEWs

This is a video of a shop keeper in Mexico fighting his laptop away from two would be thieves while being shot at. Now I'm not saying this guy has cojones de oro, but I am saying he must have some seriously illegal shit on that laptop.

Store Clerk Dodges Bullet to Keep His Laptop From Getting Stolen [gizmodo]

Aug 20 2009 For The (Clumsy) Ladies: Twilight Bandages

Look down. Do you have breasts? If so, you're a woman or a man who could afford to lose some weight. Either of which may be interested in these Twilight bandages. They're band-aids, but with Twilight shit on them. Now, not to flaunt my superior product design skills or anything, but they should have made the bandages look like vampire bites. BOOM, $1 million idea. You'd have girls throwing themselves off their bicycles just so they could wear more of them. Oh, right, Twi-hards are cutters.

Product Site (sorry ladies, currently sold out)

Thanks to ech0z, who doesn't wear bandages because he has the healing properties of Wolverine, but is way more rugged and handsome. There, I did it -- now pay up.

Aug 20 2009 Whee!: See-Through WindowPhone Concept

I am back home safe and sound. Geekologie will now return to its regularly schedule program.

The WindowPhone was conceptualized by every single person that daydreams about the future, but designer Seunghan Song actually took the time to create a rendering of it. This is that rendering.

The phone would essentially be translucent, displaying information and images on a window-like surface in a form factor relatively similar to the iPhone's.

The killer feature of this concept phone is its ability to change the look of the display glass to match the current weather conditions of your location (i.e. sunny day equals clear screen, rainy day equals virtual droplets on your screen).

I know how much some of you hate things that are only conceptual, but remember: concepts are what push us towards the future. And the future, as you may know, is filled with giant, terrifying robots. Which is why these designers should all be killed. Also, if the battery dies in this thing you can forget about ever finding your phone again.

WindowPhone concept points to future of touch cell phones [dvice]

Aug 19 2009 Screw Mother Nature: HP Shipping Fail

Not to be outdone by Dell's L337 shipping practices, HP decided to ramp up their efforts to show that THEY hate this planet even more. What's in the box? Hit the jump to find out. And no, it's not a tiger. But good guess.

Hit it. DO IT NOW!

Continue Reading " Screw Mother Nature: HP Shipping Fail "

Aug 19 2009 Sport?: Indoor Synchronized Bicycle Riding

I can honestly say I had no idea indoor synchronized bike riding was a real thing. But now that I do, I can't say I'm surprised (I once saw a grown-ass man lounging in a kiddy pool in his front yard, beating himself in the head with an oversized plastic bat). So yeah, I guess what I'm getting at is this: they need sexier uniforms.

Youtube

Thanks to twellve, who once synchronized her fist with some guy's face for looking at her funny. He had a wonk eye, twellve, geez.

Aug 19 2009 Awh: A Sentimental Super Nintendo Tattoo

I would never think to associate video game tattoos with sentimental memories, but apparently it happens.

My Super Nintendo controller tattoo. It says "Mom Mom" because I got it in memory of my grandmother who died 06/08/04. I grew up playing Super Nintendo with her. It's real patchy & I need to get it touched up because that grey color is a b, but it means a lot to me.

That's cute. Now I don't feel so bad about getting a tattoo of my first dog with a Game Boy for a head. *sniff* Miss you, Tetris face.

Super Nintendo Controller Tattoo [fyeahtattoos]

Thanks to Jonah Ray, who got a tattoo of Garfield humping a Dreamcast because it means something to him.

Aug 19 2009 Is This The New PS3 Slim? (Yes, Yes It Is)

Sorry folks the internette at the hotel was bitchtitting me this morning so I just gave up and came to LaGuardia to post from here. Don't think I forgot about you. I could never. Anyway, I'll post as much as I can before my flight, and Geekologie will return to its regularly scheduled program tomorrow.

Soooooo, this is the new PS3 Slim. The 120GB console will be available the first week in September for a price cutted $299. BUT THAT'S NOT ALL THEY CUT! The unit is 33 percent smaller and 36 percent lighter than its chubs predecessor. So what does this mean for you? It'll be easier to lose. Hell, I even thought the original PS3 was too small to keep track of. WHICH IS WHY I GLUED IT TO THE COUCH.

Sony Announces Slim PS3 - It Lives This September! [kotaku]

Thanks to Mr. Tiddles, catch22, Nate and The Superficial Writer, who tape their consoles to cinder blocks. Hey, that works too.

Aug 18 2009 What Could Go Wrong?: Zombie Themed Bar

Donny Dirk's Zombie Den is a zombie themed bar in Minneapolis, Minnesota. I don't know how I feel about it.

The stunning new interior comes straight out of a 1950s Las Vegas lounge (the classic part). The zombie stuff (i.e. the kitsch) is hilarious, and more nuanced than you'd expect from a bar named Donny Dirk's Zombie Den. In the corner, a small chainsaw sits inside a glass case that reads "In case of zombie attack, break glass." The bartenders all dress like Simon Pegg in "Shaun of the Dead" -- white button-up, red tie and blood stains. The friendly female servers wear long black gowns. Again: This is a classy zombie joint.

First of all, classy and zombie should never appear in the same sentence unless we're talking about an undead Mr. Peanut or Monopoly. And secondly, a zombie bar, not unlike a robot bar, is a bad idea. There's a reason you're not allowed to bring weapons into drinking establishments, you know. A stupid reason. pew pew!

Zombie resurrection [startribune]

Thanks to deadbodyman, whose dinosaur bar I always rent for my private parties.

Aug 18 2009 Kid Showing Off His Parallel Parking Skills