Jul 17 2009WTF Is That!?: 12-Mile Biological Goo In Arctic
A 12-mile long trail of unknown biological goo has been spotted off the coast of Alaska. Personally, it looks like robot love-oil to me (don't ask how I know). *ahem* I'm looking at you, Optimus.
"It's certainly biological," Hasenauer said. "It's definitely not an oil product of any kind. It has no characteristics of an oil, or a hazardous substance, for that matter.
"It's definitely, by the smell and the makeup of it, it's some sort of naturally occurring organic or otherwise marine organism.""It's pitch black when it hits ice and it kind of discolors the ice and hangs off of it," Brower said. He saw some jellyfish tangled up in the stuff, and someone turned in what was left of a dead goose -- just bones and feathers -- to the borough's wildlife department.
ZOMG, it's the North Carolina sewer mutant's illegitimate older cousin! Now I'm not saying I want to deep fry some and include it in my Octo-taco-pancrepe-pizza, because I don't. But I would smear some all over your body and lick it off. God, am I romantic or what?
Hit the jump for a picture of a bucketful of the gunk.
Huge blob of Arctic goo floats past Slope communities [adn]
Thanks to Julian, Paul and Der Zulu, who can all attest to this shit being delicious.
Reader Comments
1. derzulu - July 17, 2009 10:53 AM
meh
2. nadalo日本にいます。SHADOWS ALL WRONG - July 17, 2009 10:54 AM
coool
3. FDSY - July 17, 2009 10:57 AM
A dead goose? With nothing but bones and feathers? It's the blob, or the goo from the Stephen King story "The Raft". I am beyond frightened.
4. jaja - July 17, 2009 10:58 AM
There is stuff like this all along the UK Coastline...
It's sludgy shit. All it is, is like mud & seaweed.
5. STOMPY - July 17, 2009 10:59 AM
Maybe it came to help us defeat the robots!!!
6. Tennist0 - July 17, 2009 11:00 AM
its its its......its shit, what else is there? I say, blow the crap outta it. MAKE BIG BOOM!!
7. alannatron - July 17, 2009 11:01 AM
jaja,
don't you think the marine biologists would be smart enough to identify "mud and seaweed"?
I'm just sayin...
8. wtf - July 17, 2009 11:04 AM
clearly the black oil/alien life form from x-files.
9. Daywalker - July 17, 2009 11:06 AM
i think we need to call the ghostbusters!
10. booboo - July 17, 2009 11:11 AM
ZOMG it's happening again .>! mass squid suicide run for yur LIVES BITCHES!
ahhhhhh
the apocalypse is among us O.O
11. Freddy K - July 17, 2009 11:12 AM
I'm glad that guy is pointing into the bucket to help us figure it out. I wouldn't have been able to without his help.
And by the way, this stuff is pretty nasty looking. I think it is robot love juice.
12. catch22 - July 17, 2009 11:12 AM
ever see the movie "the stuff" its kinda like this only it looks like marshmallow fluff
and that was found in the artic too
13. STOMPY - July 17, 2009 11:17 AM
@11
ya, what a twat
14. Freddy K - July 17, 2009 11:22 AM
STOMPY I'm so glad you understand.
15. jeremy - July 17, 2009 11:26 AM
Sorry - that was me. I got the complete Sasha Gray collection and went to town with, apparently, too much fervor.
16. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - July 17, 2009 11:27 AM
@13
Is your mom doing porn in the artic? This looks like the same shit that comes out of her twat when she's excited.
17. Matthew - July 17, 2009 11:28 AM
@3 - I was going to say the same thing! That story scared me when I was younger into never going into a lake, let alone swim to a floating dock... Goodbye Alaska!
18. zelemihr - July 17, 2009 11:29 AM
Any one remember the movie Phantoms, based on the book by Dean Koontz?
19. STOMPY - July 17, 2009 11:29 AM
@GFS
ya, and thats your hand and your bucket in the second picture so you should know... Collecting that stuff for your in and out animal style fries.
20. LSDiesel - July 17, 2009 11:34 AM
God jaja is so stupid. jaja, I highly encourage you to off yourself.
21. rusty - July 17, 2009 11:34 AM
it's probably the same shit that i get in my saltwater tank sometimes called "slime algae." shit is nasty and it looks just like that when i have to pull it out and put it in a bucket... just not as much of it.
also, i like to point at it in the bucket so it knows i'm better.
22. meowmo - July 17, 2009 11:38 AM
why didn't this exist before? how do you miss something this large? with lewis and clark mia, some rednecks had to of discovered it earlier? ...i blame CERN for creating a blackhole that allowed this creature to appear suddenly.
23. david - July 17, 2009 11:38 AM
That's not biological goo, goliath flushed his toilet.
24. naas - July 17, 2009 11:38 AM
It looks very tasty, I'd totally fry it up with some cheese & bacon
25. JK - July 17, 2009 11:41 AM
@18
Holy Shit, they made a movie of that? I read the book and loved it. Went through it in 2 days. Really great book.
But knowing what they do to the movie versions of books, they probably screwed it up like they do with every book to movie.
Movie of a Book Usually = Fail
Movie of a Video Game Usually = Fail
Video Game of a Movie Always = Fail
26. Hamiwill - July 17, 2009 11:42 AM
Anyone else ever read Fluke by Christopher Moore? this is basically explained there. It is the first sentient organism ever trying to take over the earth and kill all humans. You all thought it would be a robot, but NNNNNNOOOOoo. It's the ooze from Ghostbusters. Play a little music and it will dance. Quick, get David Copperfield to make the Gundam statue in China disappear before it brings that creation of Satan to life and it really does go on a killing rampage through the streets.
27. shadwag - July 17, 2009 11:42 AM
after eating the octo-taco-pancrepe-pizza, michael phelps swims in that shit to blast his pecs.
28. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - July 17, 2009 11:45 AM
@19
ZING!
29. naas - July 17, 2009 11:52 AM
@19 I love animal style fries mmMMmm
30. amanda - July 17, 2009 11:56 AM
i have seen both "the stuff" and "the raft"
as soon as they mentioned the goose i thought of "the raft"
the stuff in "the stuff" was some sort of yogurt that turned people and dogs into zombies or some shit, the black oily stuff in "the raft" ate people, and spit out 1 chicks bones...
31. Pat - July 17, 2009 11:57 AM
This happened off the coast of Florida several years back. Weird and very interesting.
32. faithbydesign - July 17, 2009 12:00 PM
Holy crap the blob from creepshow 2!
33. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - July 17, 2009 12:03 PM
It's the Dark Water from The Pirates of Dark Water!
http://www.members.shaw.ca/vdiakuw/DarkWaterRPG_files/image005.jpg
34. Suiz - July 17, 2009 12:21 PM
Damn right it's The Raft
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1lMEZgeyCA&feature=related
35. Daisy - July 17, 2009 12:33 PM
FAKE!!!!
This is a complete photohop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.
This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max was driving a racing car, and came into the pits, but the crew couldn't wiork on the car because they were eating ice cream.
36. The Superficial Writer - July 17, 2009 12:43 PM
And it appeared within two weeks of Sarah Palin announcing her resignation. Coincidence? I think not.
37. HG - July 17, 2009 12:56 PM
...Who let you out of your box, Superfish? Get back in there until I'm done with GW.
38. baskotoiea - July 17, 2009 1:02 PM
nice try... viral marketing...
39. Loch Ness Monster - July 17, 2009 1:09 PM
The black goo was from the movie 'Creepshow 2'? The Raft freaked me out and scared me to death as a child!
40. shazaam - July 17, 2009 1:11 PM
@ SW: I thought you only cared about nipple slips flabby inner thighs on d-list celebs, but I was wrong. You've hit the nail on the head: Palin has quit the governor's office partly to show that she refuses to quit, but mostly to use her stunning intellect and mavericky maverickness to defeat the democratic party using the mystery slime.
Let's look at the facts:
1) Palin quits, slime arrives to take her place. Slime balances the Alaskan budget.
2) The bridge to nowhere? It lead directly to the slime. Think about that.
3) She even used the phrase "Only dead fish go with the flow." We though she was flying her "roguey maverick" flag, but in fact, she was WARNING US.
4) Palin kills geese for fun. So does the slime.
5) We have absolutely no idea what this abnormality will say or do next, where it came from, or what in the holy hell it's thinking. Same goes for the slime.
The only conceivable next step in Palin-logic is that she will lose her faith in the ability of the slime to destroy the democratic pary, go even more rogue than the slime can handle, and end up nuking Alaska to save Alaska.
41. Jerry - July 17, 2009 1:39 PM
Palin slime.
http://bootelicious.mybrute.com
42. Dickey Mouse - July 17, 2009 1:46 PM
The Pirates of Dark Water
43. Dr.Necropolis - July 17, 2009 1:57 PM
Yup, definitely the beginning of the Apocalypse....and through no fault of my own I might add!!! *whistles and looks innocent*
44. Paxdeus - July 17, 2009 2:20 PM
Duh! it's whales barf, maybe the ate something bad
45. Vaganza - July 17, 2009 2:37 PM
This isn't new, I've seen stories about this stuff for years.
46. Austin - July 17, 2009 2:53 PM
@15. Sasha is smokin' hot.
47. anotherdae - July 17, 2009 2:57 PM
Anyone remember NBC's Surface. That show was great and apparently correct.
48. lee harless - July 17, 2009 3:10 PM
it's a waste dumping from one of the oldest super secret undersea government bunkers. the oceans are the safest place in the event of a nuclear war. as long as you're shielded from the concussion of the blasts. these bunkers shield from all currently known and projected future nuclear threats. check them out.
49. FORTYNINTH - July 17, 2009 3:53 PM
i say its cthulu's shit
50. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - July 17, 2009 4:02 PM
This is simply the stuff bigfoot cleared out of his shower drain...
51. Someone - July 17, 2009 4:27 PM
I thought of a gelatinous cube when I read this.
52. Jason - July 17, 2009 4:30 PM
It's Vigo. DAMMIT ALASKANS, BE NICE TO EACH OTHER!
53. Elaida - July 17, 2009 4:45 PM
It's algae. Killer algae from outer space, maybe.
http://www.adn.com/news/alaska/story/867160.html
54. zelemihr - July 17, 2009 4:56 PM
@ 25
Still waiting to see what a video game of a book =
(Dante's Inferno)
55. deutsche lad - July 17, 2009 6:03 PM
Poo floats, fact.
56. Jaded Icon - July 17, 2009 6:07 PM
Kind of looks like what came out when GFS effed STOMPY in the eye.
57. pepe - July 17, 2009 6:14 PM
you guys, It's thawed out dinosaur blood, now you can have that clone geekologie writer
58. bman - July 17, 2009 9:48 PM
remember the movie The Happening, where the plants release the air born poison, now the seaweed is doing it omg!! its the end of the world, every man for himself!!
59. Paul - July 17, 2009 10:14 PM
It's true. It is delicious.
On an entirely unrelated note has anyone here ever watched Creepshow 2? How about The Stuff?
60. Original Thought - July 17, 2009 11:09 PM
Its the BLOB.Or that pollution monster from Godzilla, DUH!!!!
61. guate6 - July 18, 2009 9:34 AM
reminds me of the stuff from the movie "The Blob."
62. Adam - July 18, 2009 12:44 PM
@33 I'd have to agree. It's either dark water, or a shoggoth.
I'll start drawing elder signs, you go find the 13 Treasures of Rule.
63. ÜBER-███-er - July 18, 2009 3:45 PM
It's some sort of organic sludge that is very acidic....interesting...It might be alive since it's considered an organism, awesome! It's the ÜBER-LIFE FORM!
64. DG - July 19, 2009 12:14 PM
Poseidon just got food poisoning.
65. Growly - July 20, 2009 7:20 AM
X-Files!
The black oile
66. Mike Hawk - July 20, 2009 2:44 PM
rent Creepshow, it will all make sense....
67. Ian Matheson - August 1, 2009 11:18 AM
Holy shit..... has anyone here seen creepshow 2? If not.... Trust me and do as i say.... RIGHT NOW. Go on youtube and search "Creepshow 2 the raft". Since a child i could never go in the water... this doesnt help.