WTF Is That!?: 12-Mile Biological Goo In Arctic

A 12-mile long trail of unknown biological goo has been spotted off the coast of Alaska. Personally, it looks like robot love-oil to me (don't ask how I know). *ahem* I'm looking at you, Optimus.

"It's certainly biological," Hasenauer said. "It's definitely not an oil product of any kind. It has no characteristics of an oil, or a hazardous substance, for that matter.

"It's definitely, by the smell and the makeup of it, it's some sort of naturally occurring organic or otherwise marine organism."

"It's pitch black when it hits ice and it kind of discolors the ice and hangs off of it," Brower said. He saw some jellyfish tangled up in the stuff, and someone turned in what was left of a dead goose -- just bones and feathers -- to the borough's wildlife department.

ZOMG, it's the North Carolina sewer mutant's illegitimate older cousin! Now I'm not saying I want to deep fry some and include it in my Octo-taco-pancrepe-pizza, because I don't. But I would smear some all over your body and lick it off. God, am I romantic or what?

Hit the jump for a picture of a bucketful of the gunk.

Huge blob of Arctic goo floats past Slope communities [adn]

Thanks to Julian, Paul and Der Zulu, who can all attest to this shit being delicious.

• WTF Was That!?!: Deep-Sea Siphonophore

  January 3, 2009

  This is a video of a deep-sea (770-meters to be exact) siphonophore doing its thing. What the f*** is a siphonophore? ...an eerily fantastic creature that appears to be a single, large organism, but which is actually a colony of numerous individual jellyfish-like animals th... / Continue →
• Another Montauk Monster Washes Ashore

  May 11, 2009

  Remember the Montauk Monster? It's back. Well, another one at least. Escaped from the same top secret government facility as the first, this monster washed up on Southhold, Long Island, just across the bay from Montauk. AND THERE'S VIDEO. AND IT'S GROSS. BUT I'D STILL EAT... / Continue →
• Cows With Holes Directly To Their Stomachs

  January 20, 2009

  And I'm not talking about their mouths either! Or assholes. I'm talking hole holes, like, holy shit(!), that cow has a freaking hole in it! These cows have been given a fistula, a hole directly into the stomach that scientists can reach into and study to see how certain food... / Continue →