Jul 2 2009The Aliens Are Watching Our TV Programming
This is a little diagram showing how far our television broadcasts have traveled out into space already (I had to cut the image, full size version HERE). As you can see, the aliens orbiting Procyon are just about ready for some Sopranos action. Then, they'll smash their televisions because they're advanced enough to know there's nothing good coming after.
The Aliens of the Star Iota Horologii Are Just Watching Captain Kangaroo Now [gizmodo]
Thanks to Julian, who once made out with an alien chick while secretly watching a Friends rerun over her shoulder.
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Reader Comments
1. Paul - July 2, 2009 12:29 PM
1st
2. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - July 2, 2009 12:30 PM
WTF? No Simpons? FAIL.
3. Kevin Eastman - July 2, 2009 12:33 PM
What the hell. What about the TMNT? Those bastards better know what a Triceraton is and that we've got giant rats that can bring the ninjitsu to your sorry alien ass.
4. FDSY - July 2, 2009 12:33 PM
PAHHHHHH
Alien invaders will see our early programming and decide to invade but are eventual turned off of the idea as they encounter increasing shitty sitcoms and the advent of the reality show as they approach earth.
FOX NETWORK SAVED OUR PLANET!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!
5. m - July 2, 2009 12:34 PM
what about radio? that one of Hitler's speeches was one of the first broadcasts to be sent into space alone seems more interesting .
i agree with 2- FAIL
6. LSDiesel - July 2, 2009 12:38 PM
I think they will invade and start killing everyone after they see 'friends'
7. Timbo - July 2, 2009 12:40 PM
I bet they watched X Files and laughed....
Good show good show....
8. STOMPY - July 2, 2009 12:44 PM
@7
It was untill the show only was about the conspiracy stuff at the end.
9. wow - July 2, 2009 12:51 PM
haha my favorite clip of TMNT. Sexual innuendo anyone?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2YLmWFsBXg
10. SouthSideHope - July 2, 2009 1:01 PM
If the Aliens are getting it for free and im paying 100 bucks a month, im going to be pissed... Damn you comcast...
11. Timbo - July 2, 2009 1:11 PM
@STOMPY
I liked the conspiracy stuff, but they did overdo it at the end.... 1-7 was the best.
@10 Get your own alien reciever to beam you the shows..for free...yesssss
12. DrThrasher - July 2, 2009 1:13 PM
Doesn't work like that. After traveling x amount of light years from us gamma rays and cosmic crap completely wharblegarble our tv programs/radio waves.
It's like we are peeing tv shows into a giant ocean of pee.
13. Penguin - July 2, 2009 1:17 PM
I guess soon they'll be demanding McNeal. For she is promiscuous and wears a miniskirt.
Seriously, we've already addressed this issue before. like, 10 years ago.
14. Daisy - July 2, 2009 1:18 PM
FAKE!!!!
This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.
This is exactyly like that scene int he movie Never Back Down where Max was having a debate with a co-worker about whether foot massages were sexual or not. Max lost the arguiment when his co worker asked if he ever gave a foot massage to a guy, and made him feel all gay when it was suggested he massage his co-workers feet.
15. squeehunter - July 2, 2009 1:35 PM
As mentioned before, isn't the signal scrambled over a couple light years?
16. STOMPY - July 2, 2009 1:52 PM
@15
Well than they will have to descramble it now won't they?
17. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - July 2, 2009 1:56 PM
@16
Either that or watch double scrambled porn. With bacon.
18. uchar - July 2, 2009 1:58 PM
If aliens can monitor our broadcast signals, wouldn't we also be within reach of their signals. I mean come on now, where's the alien porn.
19. STOMPY - July 2, 2009 2:00 PM
@17
Ahh, the days of squiggle porn...
20. DreamFolder - July 2, 2009 2:50 PM
You can't stop the signal. Everything goes somewhere, and I go everywhere.
Mr. Universe
Just because there's noise doesn't mean the signal is lost. It just means you need a good filter. It's not really all that much like peeing in an ocean, but sorta. Look at what we're sifting out of the ether nowadays. We can detect if a planet orbiting a distant star has water. That from reflected radiation with the source (star) practically on top of (indistinguishable from) the target (planet).
21. Jaded Icon - July 2, 2009 3:11 PM
We demand alien porn!.......oh, and that you don't invade us.......unless...that is the only way we can get FREE alien porn.
22. Corican - July 2, 2009 3:37 PM
Damn Aliens!
Living in our universe, stealing our TV!
23. DreamFolder - July 2, 2009 3:44 PM
Movie plot: (Been sitting on this one a while. Looks like I'll never get to shoot it, so go ahead sleezy pron film guy, steal it.)
Aliens (finally) come to Earth. With them they bring their propensity for awesome, titanic sex. Turns out they're compatible with humans. Aliens start having sex with humans. They're so used to titanicly awesome sex that they go crazy over the novelty of our boring unimaginative sex. (pause to let you soak in the thought of everything you've ever seen in a pron film and what it would mean for the aliens to find it totally banal) (yes, I'm doing that on purpose) For a while, things are unbelievable great. (prolonged montages of aliens and humans having sex in ways that can only be hinted at on film, while still being satisfyingly graphic) But then one day, the light goes on and the aliens realize what they've given up to have sex with these drab humans and eventually conclude that the best thing to do is to wipe out the entire planet.
There could be entire series of sequals ala "Planet of the Apes" jumping back and forth in time, lone human survivors kept as boring sex slaves and/or alternatively being sexed to death for the viewing pleasure of the corrupt/degenerate audience. You could even have a moral finisher where the relative piety of the less debauched humans wins the day and the degenerate aliens give over to new dominant power in the universe.
cut. print.
24. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - July 2, 2009 3:53 PM
@23
Please read Heretics of Dune and Chapterhouse: Dune. Better yet, read the whole series. Lots of incest and sex as a weapon. Good times.
25. Jerry - July 2, 2009 3:59 PM
No wonder they want to anal probe all of us. Just sayin.
http://bootelicious.mybrute.com
26. Beastman AIDS - July 2, 2009 4:29 PM
This looks like it was made in MS Paint. Kinda kills the credibility.
27. DreamFolder - July 2, 2009 4:39 PM
d-mit.
I always knew I like Herbert. Guess I gave up on the Dune series too early.
28. John McCurry - July 2, 2009 7:10 PM
here's a problem, not all of those shows were broadcast on the radio, many are cable only
29. JD - July 2, 2009 9:43 PM
Miami Vice Number 1 new show!
30. led display - July 2, 2009 11:47 PM
they're advanced enough to know there's nothing good coming after.
31. pez dispenser - July 3, 2009 6:42 PM
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He's trying to get views for some POS (piece of shít) video on youtube
32. nicknamer - July 4, 2009 8:09 PM
Futurama IDEA
33. Phoenix - July 6, 2009 2:58 AM
Check This Out!!
http://75684.onodot.com/
34. Todd D. - July 14, 2009 4:23 PM
Unbelievable!
Todd D.
http://www.newsguide.us/art-entertainment/movies/Todd-DiRoberto-of-American-Satellite-Hosts-Independence-Day-Charity-Event-for-Operation-Bigs/
35. Bill C. - August 30, 2009 2:46 PM
The aliens are skillfull like our buddha -- they can watch our television interdimensionally. This is much like we can watch other places in remote viewing. And even better, they can watch our televisions in real-time if going interdimensionally, even if mllions of light years away. Buddha and dead people have long been able to be in two places at the same time with their dream bodies. Buddha have always been doing remote viewing, seeing other places by moving an well connected astral third eye to a remote location they had astral contact with. The remote location being viewed gets temporarily haunted by the watching spirit with the third eye during the remote viewing. Some modern buddha have even been able to do remote videography of other planets to videotape. This video of the surface of other places has not yet been released to the public, but appeared recreated as the ocean planet in "Star Wars II:Attack of the Clones". The planets explored so far are still dead, but hopefully some day will have life, when the remote viewers next try to trace real ufos at Area 51. That is, only if Bob Lazar really isn't a lie.
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