Jul 29 2009That's Pretty Messed Up: 2-D Relationships
I think the picture speaks for itself, just listen. "This is sooooo creepy". There, did you hear that? I've written about being in love with 2-D characters before, but apparently the phenomenon is even more widespread than previously thought. Japan, you never cease to amaze me.
As they got to know each other, they traveled hundreds of miles west -- to Kyoto, Osaka and Nara, sleeping in his car or crashing on friends' couches to save money. They took touristy pictures under cherry trees, frolicked like children on merry-go-rounds and slurped noodles on street corners. Now, after three years together, they are virtually inseparable. "I've experienced so many amazing things because of her," Nisan told me, rubbing Nemutan's leg warmly. "She has really changed my life."
Nemutan doesn't really have a leg. She's a stuffed pillowcase -- a 2-D depiction of a character, Nemu, from an X-rated version of a PC video game called Da Capo, printed on synthetic fabric.
DUM DUM DUM! You like where I ended that quote? I did it for dramatic emphasis, and I think it worked. The New York Times has a really long, in-depth article about the phenomenon, so you may want to go check that out if you're a closet pillow humper. But seriously -- 18+ only pillows, please.
Love in 2-D [nytimes]
Thanks to amy, who can only love in 4-D.
Reader Comments
1. therealslimshady - July 29, 2009 9:37 AM
EWWWWWWWWWWWW
2. smtippin - July 29, 2009 9:37 AM
I wonder how often he has to change the cover....no wait. I don't wonder ethat at all.
3. ember726 - July 29, 2009 9:37 AM
First!
4. ember726 - July 29, 2009 9:37 AM
Oops, guess not:(
5. Timbo - July 29, 2009 9:40 AM
You're not first...you're last...
i think I dislike Japan more and more each day...
6. ember726 - July 29, 2009 9:42 AM
This is just the beginning.
With Project Natal and that creepy meet Milo character they have made, there will be people falling in love with interactive characters on the screen. And if they are ever stupid enough to combine Natal and robots, well then I'm movin underground.
7. Girlie - July 29, 2009 9:42 AM
Are you telling me that stud couldn't find a real woman? tsk tsk Honestly tho, thats just sad...*starts humming 'All the Lonely People'*
8. japanimaniac - July 29, 2009 9:43 AM
I wonder how he explains the large number of stains at the dry cleaners?
9. EinoJ - July 29, 2009 9:52 AM
What would Freud say?
10. Deutshelad - July 29, 2009 9:54 AM
Yo I'd hit that pillow and bury my face in it like it was me julie's julies. WHAT? I'm saying it looks comfortable to sleep on, perverts.
11. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - July 29, 2009 9:56 AM
@7
The song is called "Eleanor Rigby". God damn I wish I could watch Paul punch you in the face.
12. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - July 29, 2009 9:57 AM
Well, at least he isn't taking his nuerosis out on a live woman... yet. This is super creepy. I wonder how he would respond to a pillow fight?
13. japanimaniac - July 29, 2009 9:58 AM
I cant help but wonder, how fun would it be to steal the pillow and record him crying. You know that'll keep me laughing for weeks
14. Girlie - July 29, 2009 9:59 AM
@ 11
Anger issues much? I made a mistake, go f*ck a sheep and get it over with....
15. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - July 29, 2009 10:00 AM
^ Irony.
16. dawd - July 29, 2009 10:02 AM
I bet the Matrix Has Something to do with that
17. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - July 29, 2009 10:06 AM
@15
It runs thick with this one.
@14
That reminds me of another song called, "It's midnight in Montana, and I can't get my dick out of this cow". Which is what your boyfriend quietly hums to himself whens he's mounting you.
18. naas - July 29, 2009 10:09 AM
He got that thingl from a crane machine, I've tried winning the same one - though it was for a hopeful 2-WAY relationship not a 2D one
19. Domingo - July 29, 2009 10:12 AM
Im jealous
20. JK - July 29, 2009 10:18 AM
@ 3
Ha! Epic Fail!
*Ahem* Anyways, back on topic...So he's in love with a 2-D Fictional character? Damn...I don't know what to say to that...Pathetic. Yeah. I download and fap to porn all the time, but I don't actually fall in love with 2-D, completely non-existant fictional characters. I mean, f-uck, how can you love and share a life with a cartoon character? It's like being in love with...well, a pillow! You can f-uck a pillow, but thats not really any diffrent from fapping. I find this really pathetic...It's even worse than people who fall in love with video game characters or other players on online video games like WoW...
...I'd like to see them try to have kids.
(Sorry in advance for any spelling mistakes I missed, just to damn lazy to check through all this right now.
21. Girlie - July 29, 2009 10:20 AM
@ 17
I'm flattered that you thought up lyrics just for me. You are so wicked and clever, I think I may have found my new hero.
22. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - July 29, 2009 10:22 AM
C'mon - won't someone in Japanland start a pillow fight with him for me? PLEASE?!?!?
I just want to see if he'll auto respond by using his pillowbater and shatter his soul in the process...
23. naas - July 29, 2009 10:22 AM
@21 GFS is everyone's hero, the pleasure is all yours
24. Watch-303 - July 29, 2009 10:26 AM
weird as hell.
25. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - July 29, 2009 10:28 AM
GFS - I never got song lyrics!
21 - Special cows blehbleh Montana
26. Ollie Williams - July 29, 2009 10:39 AM
@Thumper
I will dedicate the song "The Only Girl on Geekologie Who I Don't Hate". I will write and produce it next weekend. Hugs and kisses.
27. Hannukah Montana - July 29, 2009 10:42 AM
Reading this article makes me wonder about how this love thing develop its maturity. Or sorta how it grows in a certain process. "Hey... I just went second base." "Are you wet baby?"
I mean wtf? I thought "Lars and the Real Girl" was ridiculous. This shit even real. Dude... I gotta move to Japan.
@ nass - Forget about those geisha b'itches you met in Tokyo man. I'mma get me some stuffed Nurse Joy. I love that b'itch to death since 11th grade.
28. q335r49 - July 29, 2009 10:44 AM
We need to go to Japan to do some serious tag-and-release research on these people
29. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - July 29, 2009 10:46 AM
26 - Yay! I am forspecials!
30. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - July 29, 2009 10:50 AM
@21
Don't thank me ma'am. Thank George Carlin. He also composed such classics as "You Blew My Mind (Now Blow Me)" and "Your Love Ran Down My Leg (and Now You're Gone)".
31. B - July 29, 2009 10:59 AM
I saw this story last week. I can't even make fun of that guy. That's the most pathetic picture I've ever seen. I can't feel anything but pity for him.
32. naas - July 29, 2009 11:00 AM
@partykid3000 I have a closet full of stuffed nurses & pillow fights were called orgies in tokyo, it was beautiful man
33. naas - July 29, 2009 11:08 AM
I'm guessing we're not seeing the back of the pillow because the image is larger & there's a greasy hole in the center of her ass
34. nadalo日本にいます。MUSIC IS MY BITCH - July 29, 2009 11:24 AM
Not trying to defend Nisan too much here but is the same when guys watch too much porn and is the only sex they can get...vids still just 2D fantasies...
35. Jerry - July 29, 2009 11:36 AM
Seriously, how do these people function (make a living). Are they all on the government teet?
36. STOMPY (is still banging Pikachu) - July 29, 2009 11:37 AM
in soviet russia, 2-D characters fantasize about you...
http://inrussiapicstakeyou.ytmnd.com/
37. daimakura - July 29, 2009 11:42 AM
I'm sorry but JAPAN PROBE is reporting problems with New York Times report on 2-D love in Japan
http://www.japanprobe.com/?p=11681
seems like the NYT article is fake...
38. rmf - July 29, 2009 11:42 AM
Did anyone else notice this little blurb from the article:
"According to a government survey, more than a quarter of men and women between the ages of 30 and 34 are virgins; 50 percent of men and women in Japan do not have friends of the opposite sex."
I mean, seriously, Japan, what the hell are you doing over there?
39. Cassidy - July 29, 2009 12:11 PM
http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d38/Moniques3Monsters/more%20funnies%2010/ronery1.jpg
40. 3d - July 29, 2009 12:11 PM
Making fun of retards just isn't cool.
41. STOMPY (is still banging Pikachu) - July 29, 2009 12:17 PM
@40
Neo is a retard, and I"m makig fun of him, whatcha gonna do?
http://neoretard.ytmnd.com/
42. Intermino - July 29, 2009 12:19 PM
Aw, more than messed up, that's actually pretty sad.
:c
Almost as sad as Girlie trying to win an argument.
43. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - July 29, 2009 12:39 PM
^
Almost...but not quite.
44. naas - July 29, 2009 12:43 PM
@39 He's got twins AND it looks like the same chick on both pillows. Do you think if this guy crossed path's with the older guy pictured above there'd be a showdown? I'd almost die laughing seeing that one unfold
45. proteon - July 29, 2009 1:00 PM
He hugs a pillow case all day and you stare at a little screen all day. Both of you think your connecting with something alive.
X-rated?
He's crazier than you and less harmfull.
46. henree - July 29, 2009 1:27 PM
@2
gross. i don't wonder either.
o_O
47. SmokingGirl - July 29, 2009 1:41 PM
I just don't even care anymore when it comes to Japan and their freakiness.
48. Milkman - July 29, 2009 2:25 PM
Super creepy. Poor guy to be denied the warmth of an actual living partner. He was probably hurt very badly to have to retreat into this fantasy where nothing will ever go wrong.
49. amerikka - July 29, 2009 2:40 PM
THIS NYT SCOOP IS FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE....
read http://www.japanprobe.com
50. Soratrox - July 29, 2009 2:56 PM
Honestly, I didn't like Nemu in Da Capo anyway. She was kind of a whore.
Sakura all the way.
51. aru-San - July 29, 2009 3:52 PM
yuuuuuuuuccckkkkk dude thats just wrong. i just hope i get laid b4 i get as desperate as this guy O_o i mean wow.....
52. zerva - July 29, 2009 4:25 PM
He looks so sad...
53. Jim - July 29, 2009 6:57 PM
As long as the pillow comes with a complimentary bottle of Aspray.
54. lana - July 29, 2009 8:37 PM
i almost find it creepier that the article says she is supposed to be 10 or 12...Im almost glad this weirdo has a pillow with an imaginary character on it that he faps to, otherwise he would probably be molesting children
55. Haha - July 29, 2009 9:39 PM
ICK! Yeah apparently most of the characters on these pillows are around 9-12 years old. Japan has a serious lollita complex. I wonder if these guys dress these pillows in those used school girl vending machine panties!
56. Bath Capn - July 29, 2009 10:42 PM
MOST AWESOME PAGE IN THE UNIVERSE
57. Bath Captain - July 29, 2009 10:43 PM
http://themostawesomepageintheuniverse.com
58. um - July 30, 2009 2:02 AM
Did anyone read the actual article? This guy has 150 pillow cases and two life sized anime dolls that look like they're 11 ---- I'm starting to think its better that he just take it out on a fake child. Although all of Japan has this fetish.....so I'm confused as to what exactly "child porn" would mean there
59. geekofan - July 30, 2009 4:45 AM
Must See!!
http://75684.onodot.com/
60. Ginormagantuan - July 30, 2009 5:56 AM
FORR ALL OF YOU THAT SAY JAPAN IS CREEPY BECAUSE OF THIS...... there is way more CREPYER sh*t going on there, trust me....... but then again there is a lot more aweseomemess going on there than this kind of stuff... so no need to hate. Been there 3 times, it rocked so much!!!!! and yes........ i have seen the schoolgirls walp into the pr0n shotps with dirty underwear to sell....... pretty amazing stuff lemme tell you, and you can buy just about ANYTHING from a vending machine there.
61. Jaded Icon - July 30, 2009 7:14 AM
I like the beer vending machines in Japan. Japan all the way.....I just wish I could speak Japanese.
62. ae - July 30, 2009 7:17 AM
that's where high expectations meet low feasibility
it's just like me! where do i order one?
63. jay - July 30, 2009 7:36 AM
sad and scary, and who would the source article about this? gross
64. Mugen - July 30, 2009 5:58 PM
cheese...
65. Kitty - July 31, 2009 10:26 AM
The fact that the character he's infatuated with is supposed to be a 12-13 year old girl makes it 100x creepier.
66. twellve - August 1, 2009 1:50 PM
if someone made pillowcases with Robert Pattinson's picture (a.k.a. Edward Cullen of Twilight) on them, they'd make a FORTUNE.