Jul 17 2009Cell Phone Lighter: For All Your Cancer Needs
The SB6309 Lighter Phone isn't just the best named cellphone ever, it's also the first with a functional cigarette lighter. Brain AND lung cancers in one fell swoop! But seriously, mind if I do a J?
instruction
SB6309 The world's first mobile phone with lighter!
Patent product Gold cigarette lighter
Defend wind,
No gas,
Never blew out
Suit for high altitude areas
Well technically, those weren't instructions. They were, however, convincing. That's right -- you're looking at the first U.S. authorized dealer! Haha, now my garage is on fire.
Lighter phone may be the most dangerous cellphone ever [dvice]
Thanks to FDSY, who once went to a strip club where the strippers dipped their nipples in wax and you were allowed to light your cigarettes off them.
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Reader Comments
1. Billy Avenue - July 17, 2009 1:58 PM
perfect for sparking those Js for sure.
2. Milkman - July 17, 2009 2:02 PM
Lol can't wait to read the news reports of peoples pants catching on fire
3. naas - July 17, 2009 2:07 PM
smot pokers approve
4. calabasa209 - July 17, 2009 2:07 PM
Great, now wheres the cell phone pipe??
5. The Bush Whacker - July 17, 2009 2:11 PM
Yup, I can see it now....Man Sues Cellphone Cigarette Lighter company for burning his pecker.
6. /Eyeroll - July 17, 2009 2:13 PM
Just what people need... a source of ignition strapped to the side of their heads... If this product is real then I eagerly await the reoprts of burnt faces, hands and genitalia
7. naas - July 17, 2009 2:26 PM
@6 ...and rest assured it will be a common injury in hospitals near trailer parks
8. Johnny Blaze - July 17, 2009 2:42 PM
@3
I don't know. It looks like the heating element is just a hot coil. You couldn't use it to smoke a bowl or a bong, but you cold use it to light a jibby or a blunt.
9. FDSY - July 17, 2009 2:43 PM
Texting in bed. Fall asleep with the phone and die. That's not fun.
10. Pat - July 17, 2009 2:50 PM
That doesn't sound like a strip club I'd like to go to...
11. timbo fail - July 17, 2009 3:00 PM
call 'em if you got 'em...
12. swefoley - July 17, 2009 3:00 PM
Will it be allowed on airplanes?
13. sick to the power of me - July 17, 2009 3:04 PM
Great idea but i would not want to have this first generation type of phone....maybe like 5th that way i know when i leave my phone in my crotch while driving i'm not going to roast my chocolate salty balls
14. Cameron - July 17, 2009 3:05 PM
Brings a new dynamic to "butt dialing" ........
15. business 101 - July 17, 2009 3:08 PM
Wow, this is an absolutely brilliant 'invention'. Perfect timing, too! As businesses and states continue to pass anti-smoking bans in all sorts of public places, these things are the perfect accessory!
The marketing alone must be monumental.
"Ya'allz be needin' ta light yer cancer sticks? Usin' this 'ere talky deevise youze can blaze one up on yer couch or while movin' yer car & cinder blocks in yer yard!
16. Lizzard - July 17, 2009 3:10 PM
You can see that there's a sliding door to cover the coil and I'm sure there will be a process to start it, not a simple button to be pressed in your pocket. I'd take one, one less thing to carry around and one more thing the cellphone will do for me besides sexual favors. Mobile porn will tide me over for now.
17. RK - July 17, 2009 4:32 PM
The 'cell phone that turns into a dildo' will definitely be more popular.
18. naas - July 17, 2009 5:33 PM
@8 sure you could, just hold the phone 'coil' down over an overpacked bowl, bong or whatever... it'll lite(unless you're in the south & toke those wet, danky nugz)
19. deutsche lad - July 17, 2009 6:07 PM
This is great, I can never find my lighter when I need a cigg, now I can just call my lighter and follow the ringing.
20. White - July 17, 2009 6:15 PM
I actually wanna buy it...
21. Jaded Icon - July 17, 2009 6:19 PM
I predict it will actually sell 2,000 - 3,000 of them before getting sued into oblivion.
22. wet danky nugz - July 18, 2009 12:41 AM
damn i lite up the green and get craze then i loos phone and like where did it go son but i look for it and find it in the corner and grab it and have a snack take a nap and make call and shits
23. Just Kidding Leon - July 18, 2009 1:17 AM
Running a heating element, even a small one, off a cell phone battery seems like it run that thing out of charge pretty fast.
24. Daisy - July 18, 2009 2:13 AM
FAKE!!!!
This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.
This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max got a summer job at the flamingo club, and was offered a position at a car dealership which disappointed his parents.
25. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - July 18, 2009 9:27 AM
I'd like to see what that heated coil does to the electronics in the phone after a while...
26. Johnny Blaze - July 18, 2009 5:45 PM
@18
I still don't think it would work WELL.
It may work somewhat, but not nearly as well as a regular flame.
I've pretty much smoked it all out of everything.
That includes doing gravity bong hits out of the rear tank of a toilet.
That is when i learned that you can't buy just the lid for the tank, but you have to buy a whole new toilet, if you happen to break the lid while doing gravity bong hits from the tank.
27. Ciao - July 19, 2009 10:24 PM
can they make an i-flask while there at it?
28. STOMPY - July 20, 2009 9:46 AM
@9
Isn't it funny, these people go to bed thinking everythings great everythings fine, they wake up the next day and they're on fire!
29. Lolfail? - September 28, 2009 12:02 PM
Sweet, now I can smoke and call the burn ward at the same time!
Bring on the emphesema!