Jul 25 2009 OM NOM NOM NOM: Rubik's Cube Sandwich

Ever wondered what a Rubik's Cube would look like in sandwich form? Well now you know: delicious.

The "Rubix Cubewich" contains "cubes of pastrami, kielbasa, pork fat, salami, and two types of cheddar.

Did that say pork fat? Because I think I'm in love.

Rubik's Cube Sandwich [seriouseats]

Thanks to Leanna, who's making a Battle Risk sandwich and sending it to me.

Jul 25 2009 Lil' Anakin Skywalker Hates Star Wars, Sort Of

This is an interview with Jake Lloyd, the kid that played little Anakin Skywalker in Star Wars: Episode One (ten years ago!) talking about the effect being in the film has had on his life. SPOILER ALERT: Apparently he got made fun of in school and is blamed for ruining the movie. It made me kind of sad. I mean, I didn't cry or anything, but I did burn an effigy of George Lucas and cast a spell.

The Force Is Not With Him: Anakin Skywalker 10 Years Later [yahoomovies]

Thanks to FDSY and manders, who are thankful they weren't child actors, because now their lives would be all effed up.

Jul 25 2009 Way To Blow Your Cover: Batman Cufflinks

Listen, I know you're classy -- but are you BATMAN CUFFLINKS CLASSY? I think you are, and I'm not just saying that to get in your tux. These cufflinks are made by Etsy seller finkstudio and will set you back a cool (or crumpled -- BUT NOT ROLLED UP) Jackson ($20). Coupled with a 3-Keyboard Cat Moon t-shirt (just tape the links to your wrists), you will enter an all new world of magical magic -- where wizards and mermaids coexist and you are your own boss. Yes, a world where you can still get laid with cufflinks taped to your hands. I've been there. I've seen it.

Hit the jump for some of the other cufflinks available, including Transformers and Spiderman.

Continue Reading " Way To Blow Your Cover: Batman Cufflinks "

Jul 24 2009 Wait, Where'd He Go?: More Urban Camo

This is a picture of Chinese artist Liu Bolin and an assistant demonstrating his incredible skill in blending in with his surroundings. Can you see him? Me neither.

He claims they make a statement about his place in society. He sees himself as an outsider whose artistic efforts are not always valued, especially in his native country.

Standing silently in front of his chosen scene, in locations all around the world, the 36-year-old uses himself as a blank canvas.

Then, with a little help from an assistant, he paints his body to merge as seamlessly as possible with what is behind him.

Now I'm not going to point any fingers, but I swear I just heard the shower curtain cough. Okay, it just moved. I'm pointing fingers now. AT YOU, LIU! DUM DUM DUM!

Hit the jump for five more, all of which may or may not contain an artist painted as something else (I never saw him).

Continue Reading " Wait, Where'd He Go?: More Urban Camo "

Jul 24 2009 Man Climbs Building With DIY Vacuum Gloves

This is a video of inventor Jem Stansfield climbing the exterior of a BBC building to show off a pair of vacuum gloves he made out of an old vacuum. Amazingly, he gets to the top, but I question how much assistance he got from the rope holder. Also, if those gloves are that strong and made out of a crappy old vacuum, imagine Dyson-powered vacuum gloves. It would suck the paint off a building! And, God willing, I would eat those paint chips.

Man climbs building with vacuum gloves [bbcnews]

Thanks to Ross, who once made vacuum boots but didn't tie them tight enough and plummeted eight stories.

Jul 24 2009 Stitch Wars: Gallery Of Star Wars Arts & Crafts

This is a gallery of Star Wars arts and crafts, all of which involved the use of needles. But not like the kind at the doctor's office -- those ones make the GW faint!

Hit the jump for 12 more I painstakingly uploaded for your viewing pleasure. I SAID DO IT!

Continue Reading " Stitch Wars: Gallery Of Star Wars Arts & Crafts "

Jul 24 2009 Handerpants: Underpants For Your Hands

Handerpants are a real product and apparently people are willing to pay $12 for them. Amazing -- even in a recession some people can't get their fill of novelty underwear. Or booze. I'm gonna stick with booze. I CAN HAZ GLUG?

Are you really naked under those gloves? For Pete's sake, put on some Handerpants! These 95% cotton, 5% spandex, fingerless gloves have the look and feel of men's briefs. Slip them on underneath your gloves for extra warmth and protection from chafing! Wear them on their own as a vaguely inappropriate fashion statement! Hundreds of uses! Fits most adult hands.

Yeah, well what if I have child-sized hands? Should I stuff a sock in these too? NOT THAT I'VE EVER DONE THAT (I use an old sweatshirt).

Hit the jump for a fairly painful infomercial for the things.

Continue Reading " Handerpants: Underpants For Your Hands "

Jul 24 2009 That's No Ordinary Ruler!: It's Electronic

You know what sucks about rulers? When you'd fall asleep in class and the nuns would beat you with them. Except that never happened because I didn't go to Catholic school AND NOBODY BEATS ME BUT ME. But yeah, this is an electronic ruler by designer Shay Shafranek that has the form factor of an analog one. What will they think of next?! Affordable jetpacks? I sure hope so.

Press the power/reset button on the ruler and the LEDs light up, waiting for your input. The wooden cover conceals what the pencil in the image above is touching: a line of metal points jutting out from the inner edge of the ruler. The ruler uses the change in voltage induced by touching one of these points to calculate the distance.

I dig it, but not as much as I'm digging you. Is that a new perfume you're wearing? Because it smells like flowers and shit. And that dress -- you look better than a sackful of potatoes. I mean it, I want to kiss you till your teeth break. I'm sorry, is this too romantic for you?

Hit the jump for two more shots showing how the device works.

Continue Reading " That's No Ordinary Ruler!: It's Electronic "

Jul 24 2009 The Casting Couch: Super Mario Villains

As you may very well know, God invented Fridays for leaving work early and logging as much Youtube time as possible while you are in the office. And he sent me here to help. I AM A WARRIOR FOR HEAVEN. Or, from heaven. Ladies? I have wings AND a bow and arrow! *twang* Your heart, it's mine now.

Anyway, this is a video of Mario and the gang holding a casting call for Super Mario Bros. villains. It's not really laugh out loud material, but I thought it was pretty cute and well made. Plus, it's over 7 minutes long, so that's 7 minutes less you'll have to work. Now you may be wondering, "why the hell is the GW posting a video from 2007?" And the answer to that, dear reader, is LOOK BEHIND YOU, NAKED STUFF!

Youtube

Thanks to Rachael, who needs to learn how to send a tip and not just post stuff on her Facebook page. PREPARE TO BE SPANKED.

Jul 24 2009 Hello Kitty Stormtrooper Spotted At Comic Con

Because it's Friday, I'm making two Star Wars posts in a row and you are going to like it. Go on, admit it -- you like it. I KNEW IT! I'm telling everybody. Also, that you're a terrible kisser.

When people with booths at the Comic Con decide that making a pink Hello Kitty stormtrooper is a good idea, there is no doubt that the evil feline has clawed her way into the imagination of far too many people for the the world to be safe.

I don't know, I kind of like it. And by kind of like it I mean you show up at my doorstep wearing that and I don't care if you're swinging a Bantha-sized lightsaber between your legs, I AM ALL SYSTEMS GO.

Hello Kitty Pink Stormtrooper [hellokittyhell]

Thanks to towhee, who just wishes it came with a gun.

Jul 24 2009 Sleepover Time!: Imperial Walker Bunk Bed

Some guy went and built his son an AT-AT themed bunk bed. And by themed I mean it's actually an AT-AT. It almost makes me wish I had had a custom bunk bed growing up. But sleeping in the garage clutching a gas can builds character, right? THEN WHY AM I STILL ONLY A LEVEL 2 BLOGGER?!

Dad Builds Imperial Walker Bed for Himself His Son [gizmodo]

Jul 23 2009 Good Times: Librarian Book Cart Competition

This is a video of the winners from the American Library Association's Book Cart Drill Team World Championship. I'm not even kidding. I AM ADULTING.

The secret lives of librarians took center stage at the American Library Association's annual conference earlier this month. There was dancing, there were costumes, there was music, and, of course, there were book carts.

Teams bring acrobatic splits, book cart headlights, and dry ice effects to the floor in the quest to win first place and the coveted gold book cart trophy that comes with it. "It changes the whole image of librarians," added Ison.

Needless to say, this is some of the sexiest footage I've seen IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. And I used to judge the Geriatric Olympics, so I know my stuff.

Hit the jump for the second and third place winners.

Continue Reading " Good Times: Librarian Book Cart Competition "

Jul 23 2009 By Popular Demand: Novelty Eagle Heads

Due to to the excessive interest in the novelty eagle heads available in Ghetto Baskets, Geekologie loyalist Pew³ managed to track down some relatively inexpensive ($5.68) ones for all your bird head needs. Per the review I just wrote and submitted:

By far one of the best novelty eagle heads I've owned. The beak is yellowish, I swear the eyes follow me around the room and it's plumage cascades down the rocks like a waterfall. 4.33 (repeating of course) out of 5 CAWS. CAW CAW CAW CAW C!

Wow, I should really write product descriptions. Also, romance novels. So a dinosaur walks into a bar....

Product Site

Thanks to Pew³, who knows a quality resin eagle head when he sees one.

Jul 23 2009 Solar Powered Gadget Charging Wi-Fi Flowers

Toyota, in a ploy to sell more Priuses (Priusi?), is installing these solar-powered, gadget charging Wi-Fi stations in a select few U.S. cities (Boston, New York, Chicago, Seattle, San Francisco, and Los Angeles). Unfortunately, I don't live in any of those cities so I'm going to continue stealing my neighbor's electricity. Isn't that right, Mr. Lendoff? I said your yard looks great!

Toyota Unleashes Giant Solar-Powered Flowers On Unsuspecting Cities [ecorazzi]

Thanks to Spikey DaPikey, who charges his gadgets the old fashioned way -- with unicorn tears.

Jul 23 2009 Quick, I Need A Shovel!: Some Dinosaurs May Have Burrowed Underground In Cold Weather

In steamy dinosaur news, paleontologists now believe that several different species of dinosaur may have sought refuge underground in cold weather.

The world's oldest known dinosaur burrow, recently discovered on the southeast coast of Australia, suggests that some dinos went underground to escape extreme weather.

The burrow is strikingly similar to another one found in Montana in 2005, which held the remains of a 96-million-year-old dinosaur family.

"Right now burrowing dinosaurs might look like an exception to the rule," he said. "But I wouldn't be surprised if more species [dug burrows]. Ten years from now it might be considered commonplace."

Now I'm not saying I just dug a hole to China trying to find a hibernating dinosaur, but I am riding in a rickshaw and we did just hit a flying cat.

Dinos Burrowed Underground In Cold Weather [neatorama]

Thanks to Matt, who is training one of those truffle-sniffing pigs to find dinosaur burrows.

Jul 23 2009 Tour Guide/Rent-A-Cop Robot Eats Children

Okay, so maybe it doesn't. OR AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT THEY'D HAVE YOU BELIEVE. The Alsok Guard Robot D1 is being put to use in Fukuoka, Japan as tour guide/guard/monster piece of suck. Damn I'm good with the news!

The area's tourist attraction known as Canal City opted to use the decidedly cute and human-friendly services of a Alsok's Guard Robot D1.

In the daytime the robot functions as a kind of tour guide, offering website information and communication in Japanese, English, Chinese and Korean. At night the robot functions as a security guard, ready to alert authorities in case of trouble.

Not to start any wild rumors or anything, but I heard it touched a kid. BURN IT WITH FIRE!

Hit the jump for a video of the monster waste of money.

Continue Reading " Tour Guide/Rent-A-Cop Robot Eats Children "

Jul 23 2009 Kill Me Now: Star Wars Dance Contest Uncut

This is an uncut video of the Star Wars Weekends dance contest that we saw part of yesterday. Except, instead of 47 seconds, this one is 12 minutes. Personally, I could only make it to 1:50, when the woman says "Give it up for Chewbacca, the original gangstaaa!". Although, admittedly, I did skip around after to see if Leia makes an appearance in a golden bikini (she doesn't). So yeah, I dare you to try to watch the whole thing without putting your face through your monitor...
...
...
You broke your nose, didn't you?

Youtube

Thanks to Vince, who knows how to cut a rug. With scissors, silly!

Jul 23 2009 Video Game Bling: The Halo Ring

Typically I don't wear jewelry (just makeup) but I would make an exception for this Master Chief ring. The $180 finger cuff even has the Halo 3 emblem inscribed on the inside. Plus, if you punch somebody in the face hard enough you'll leave them with a little Spartan helmet indentation. And that, my friend, is *POW* Haha -- consider yourself chiefed, sucker!

This Halo Ring is Bling [gadgetcrave]

Thanks to Clark, who says whenever he sees Master Chief he thinks of me. And not just because you never see my face. I'm a great leader too, you know.

Jul 22 2009 Neato: Human Bodies Produce Visible Light

Thats right folks, the human body actually produces visible light -- and not just if you live under power lines! Unfortunately, it's not visible to us because it's 1,000 times weaker than our eyes can detect.

The human body literally glows, emitting a visible light in extremely small quantities at levels that rise and fall with the day, scientists now reveal.

In fact, virtually all living creatures emit very weak light, which is thought to be a byproduct of biochemical reactions involving free radicals.

The researchers found the body glow rose and fell over the day, with its lowest point at 10 a.m. and its peak at 4 p.m., dropping gradually after that. These findings suggest there is light emission linked to our body clocks, most likely due to how our metabolic rhythms fluctuate over the course of the day.

Oh man, I remember the first time I glowed. It was right after I made out with the Hulk a hot young lady. Kidding, it was a nuclear reactor. What do you say -- uranium rod me one more time for old time's sake? Think about it.

Strange! Humans Glow in Visible Light [yahoonews]

Thanks to Sean, catch22, FDSY, Erin and Watch-303, who glow particularly dull because they've eaten too many lead-based paint chips.

Jul 22 2009 TASER TASER TASER!: New Taser Shoots Three Probes For Zapping Multiple Perps

The TASER X3 is just that, a taser that shoots three separate probes for shocking several victims at once. Or, fire them all into one perp and watch that sucker light up like a Christmas tree!

The new weapon will be officially unveiled on July 27th, but in anticipation of that glorious day, TASER has kindly posted an employee demonstration video of shooting three entirely underpaid women in the back, to the applause of onlookers.

Yes, women. And yes, the guy yells TASER TASER TASER before blasting them all. Which, apparently, is the cool thing to do. Now I'm not saying I could have taken all three shots and still been standing, but I totally could have. Hell, I could have probably taken five. No, ten. Twenty! GIMME THE CHAIR!

Triple-shot TASER X3 imminent, deranged employees celebrate with mock executions [engadget]

Thanks to Julian and michelle, who could take like fifteen shots and still punch you in the face.

Jul 22 2009 Robot Built To Model Wedding Dresses

'Miimu', a HRP-4C robot, is seen here being utilized as a runway model for Japanese fashion designer Yumi Katsura's line of bridal gowns. And, since I know women so well, I'll give you men a little insight into how their minds work.

"I really love this dress -- but how would it look on a robot?"

It's a nice day for a robot wedding [metro]

Thanks to Doctor Steel and Graf Zeppelin, who together form Doctor Graf Steel Zeppelin, which, you know, is pretty cool.

Jul 22 2009 Ethicists Demand New Laws For Robots

Robot-ethicists are demanding a retuning of Asimov's laws of robotics, which they believe are too simple and do not take into account just how badly robots want to kill us all.

"If you build artificial intelligence but don't think about its moral sense or create a conscious sense that feels regret for doing something wrong, then technically it is a psychopath," says Josh Hall, a scientist who wrote the book Beyond AI: Creating the Conscience of a Machine.

Accordingly, robo-ethicists want to develop a set of guidelines that could outline how to punish a robot, decide who regulates them and even create a "legal machine language" that could help police the next generation of intelligent automated devices.

Wow, psychopathic robots -- I didn't see that coming. And by didn't see that coming I mean I'VE BEEN TRYING TO WARN YOU FOREVER. Also, you're on fire. Now stop, drop and get the hell out of my office -- I'm in the middle of a very important business call. Now, where were we, sexy? Oooooh, right -- now CAW like a Pterodactyl for me.

Robo-Ethicists Want to Revamp Asimov's 3 Laws [wired]

Thanks to roikles, Andy, danny g, Patrick and NetSerk, who think rule one of robotics should be we do not talk about robotics.

Jul 22 2009 Sadness: Lost iPhone Prototype Drives Chinese Factory Worker To Suicide

And in a bit of sad news, a Chinese factory worker jumped to his death after losing track of an iPhone prototype he was responsible for shipping to Apple.

The dead worker, Sun Danyong, 25, worked in product communications at Foxconn Technology Group, a Taiwanese firm that makes many Apple products at a massive factory in the southern city of Shenzhen, near Hong Kong.

Sun was responsible for sending iPhone prototypes to Apple, and on July 13 he reported that he was missing one of the 16 fourth-generation units in his possession, the newspaper reported. His friends said company security guards searched his apartment, detained him and beat him, the paper reported.

Apple Inc. responded Wednesday by saying its suppliers are required to treat workers with dignity and respect.

Blood phones, just sayin'.

Chinese Worker Kills Self Over Missing iPhone [foxnews]

Thanks to Gino, who would have just burned the factory to the ground to cover up the loss. Smart thinking.

Jul 22 2009 Extreme Nutjob Skates Down Roller Coaster

German extreme sportster Dirk Auer strapped on a pair of specially designed lollerblades and, with roflcopter hovering overhead (but not really), skated down a roller coaster at a German amusement park. He undoubtedly soiled his speedsuit.

Spending two months planning the outrageous stunt, Mr Auer also designed and made the monster skates, which took him a total of 110 hours' work.

Mr Auer, from Gross-Gerau near Frankfurt, is considered to be the most extreme in-line skater in the world.

He already holds the world record for reaching speeds of 190mph as he was dragged along behind a Porsche GT2.

Travelling at speeds up to 56mph, Auer skated the entire length of the roller coaster - 860 metres (~2820 feet) - in just over a minute.

Nice one, Dirk, but I could have done it in under a minute. BECAUSE I WOULDN'T USE THE BRAKES. Brakes, like crash helmets, are for unprofessionals and children. Did I? I did -- consider the gauntlet thrown! Now, take off those silly skates and fight like a man.

Hit the jump for several more shots and a video of the WHEEEEEEEEE!

Continue Reading " Extreme Nutjob Skates Down Roller Coaster "

Jul 22 2009 Wrong: Darth Vader Dancing To MC Hammer

Adding more delicious gasoline to my 'must sue Disney' fire, here's Darth Vader and a few stormtroopers dancing to MC Hammer's 'You Can't Touch This' at the Star Wars Weekends event at one of the theme parks. It pretty much desecrated my entire childhood in 47 seconds. And did anybody else feel the move Darth performed at 0:13 was a little inappropriate for children? Because I felt awkward and I'm just laying in bed watching this on Youtube.

Youtube

Thanks to Adam, Mindy and Mark, who can touch this. Go on, don't be afraid.

Jul 22 2009 That's Geeky: Poster Of Computer Hardware

This is a poster of computer hardware designed by deviantART user Sonic480. Since it's kind of small, you can see a full size version HERE. Then, print it out and tack it to the ceiling above your bed. Move over, Megan Fox, there's a new poster in town my room. Just look at those CPU sockets -- YOW YOW!

The Computer Hardware Chart Identifies Your PC's Parts [lifehacker]

Thanks again to GreenBoss, who once beat FuchsiaBoss in a silicon chip eating contest.

Jul 21 2009 Brand Keyboard Replaces Letters With Logos

The Brand Keyboard, designed by Ignacio Pilotto, has logos instead of letters on all the keys. That's neat.

BRANDS : Adidas - Burger king - Coca Cola - Disney - Ebay - Facebook - Google - Hp - Intel - J&b - Kodak - Lacoste - Mac donald´s - Nike - O2 - Pepsi - Quaker - Rolling stone - Shell - Twitter - Unilever - Virgin - WordPress - Xerox - You tube - Zippo

The repetition of the logos used by the advertising psychology, causes us to systematically recognize the brands, getting us to recognize the logos rather than our own alphabet.

Psychology, I love psychology. One time I brainwashed a whole craft room full of senior citizens into thinking I was Jesus, then demanded a tithe. Whee! Next stop: hell.

The Brand Keyboard [geekygadgets]

Thanks to GreenBoss, who controls his rainbow of minions from his throne in the Emerald City.

Jul 21 2009 Finish Him!: Little Kid Versus Clone Trooper

This is a video of a unisex little kid beating a clone trooper in the head with a fake lightsaber. It's pretty much the awesomest thing I've seen all day minus my neighbor taking a naked shower with the garden hose. He's hairier than I would have guessed.

Youtube

Thanks to alex, who once laser blasted a stormtrooper but the beam ricocheted off his armor and now alex has to wear an eyepatch. YAAAR!

Jul 21 2009 Magical: This Three Keyboard Cat Moon Shirt

If the 3 Wolf Moon Shirt was magical, imagine the spells you'll be able to cast with this $20 3 Keyboard Cat Moon Shirt! I mean, it combines the sorcery of the 3 wolf moon shirt AND keyboard cat. Rumor has it, the shirt is so powerful it brought somebody's grandmother back to life and got her pregnant. Seriously, I'm not making this up. Yes I am. It was actually somebody's grandfather. Play me off, keyboard cat!

Product Site

Thanks to Travis, who once wore a 3 Keyboard Cat Moon shirt to a concert and got to sing with the band on stage.

Jul 21 2009 Guy Huffs Gas, Gets Tasered, Catches Fire

In a tale of spontaneous human combustion, a man who had been huffing gasoline (real Transformers drink it) was tasered by police and went up in a ball of flames. Sweeeeeet.

Police said they were responding to a complaint at a house when (36-year old Ronald) Mitchell ran outside carrying a cigarette lighter and a plastic bottle containing what they believed was fuel.

When he refused to stop running towards them, one officer Tasered him, police said.

The man was immediately engulfed in flames, but the officer threw him to the ground and smothered the blaze with his hands, the statement said.

Mitchell was charged with assault to prevent arrest and possession of a sniffing substance.

An 18-year-old woman threw rocks at the officer as he tried to help and he was later treated for a cut on his head and burns to his hands, police said.

Ha, that chick brought rocks to a taser fight, what an idiot. And also, am I gonna get arrested for possession of a sniffing substance for this can of gasoline? Because, sorry coppers, that ain't happening! *glug glug glug glug glug* Transform and 7x7 is 35!

Tasered 'Petrol-Sniffer' Bursts Into Flames [yahoonews]

Thanks to Thumperchica, Justin, Jon, Stephen and Ptentacle, who wanted to roast marshmallows on him.

Jul 21 2009 American Robots Are Celebrating Today

Be quiet for a second. You hear that? It's your Roomba singing "Oh Happy Day" because today marks the 25th anniversary of the first robotic death in the United States. That's right -- on July 21st, 1984, a factory worker was crushed to death by a robot in Jackson, Michigan. A moment of silence, please. Now, a moment of yelling. I HATE YOU YOU STUPID METALLIC ASSASSINS I WANT YOU ALL TO DIIIIIIIIIE! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE, GHAAAAAAA!!! Okay, so I think I just popped a blood vessel. Also, a boner. Yelling makes me so hot!

July 21 [wordiq]

Thanks to Mike, who will be holding a candlelight vigil/Roomba burning party/kegger tonight in honor of the first U.S. victim.

Jul 21 2009 Blue Beer From Melted Icebergs, Seaweed

The Japanese, in their unending quest to make the awesomest stuff on the planet (minus robots), are manufacturing blue beer made from melted icebergs (take that you Titanic sinking bitch!). And, not to toot my own horn or anything, but I have already had colored beer on St. Patty's day before. It made my throw up green!

Okhotsk Blue Draft stands out for its cool color and interesting (yet not off-putting) ingredients. The brew is made using water melted from icebergs that float each year onto Hokkaido beaches from the chilly Sea of Okhotsk, an arm of the North Pacific ocean bordered by Japan and Russia.

Then Abashiri went one step further and used seaweed to give their brew and icy blue tint. Perhaps not the greatest selling point but it does make Okhotsk Blue look, well, different. As for the taste... reports state that Ryuho isn't at all bad as beers go, and if you didn't know there was seaweed in it, you likely wouldn't guess there was.

Abashiri also manufactures red and green beers (picture after the jump) because, honestly, what better way to teach your children their colors? Son, fetch daddy another purple one. I said purple, this is blue -- YOU WILL NEVER BE A PAINTER!

Hit the jump for a shot of the other colors and a commercial for the beer.

Continue Reading " Blue Beer From Melted Icebergs, Seaweed "

Jul 21 2009 Simple Enough: Mario Mushroom Radishes

They're mushrooms made from radishes. Now marinate on the depth of what I just said for a second. Still with me? *wheezing* Damn, I thought I lost you. Anyway, these power up mushroom radishes were made by video game themed bento maker extraordinaire, Anna The Red. Pretty simple, huh? Now I know what you're thinking, "Pfft, I could do that". But you're wrong. Remember what happened the last time you tried to use a knife? You almost lost your penis, didn't you? The prosecution rests.

Cooking with Anna the Red: Mario mushrooms from regular radishes [offworld]

Thanks to towhee, who can knows you gotta do the cookin' by the book.

Jul 21 2009 Luke, Help Me Find My Keys: The Lightsaber Flashlight

This $25 flashlight is a replica of Darth Vader's lightsaber and sports 4 red LEDs. It's powered by the dark side 3 AAA batteries and is perfect for walking the dog or finding your eyeglasses in a flower bed. It is not perfect for fighting the forces of good. Because the forces of good carry tasers and won't hesitate to use them. TASERED!

Lightsaber flashlight cuts through the darkness [dvice]

Thanks to FDSY, who once brained the forces of evil with a Maglite.

Jul 20 2009 Chicago Bulls/Robotic Death Army Conspiracy

Let's not kid ourselves, robots are going to to take over the planet and only farm us for use as bio-fuel and cage fighters. And, apparently there has been arobotic conspiracy involving the Chicago Bulls logo for some time. And to think, I used to want to be like Mike.

When I was a child, someone showed me the Chicago Bulls logo, upside down, and pointed out that it was, in fact, a robot sitting on a park bench reading the bible. My little mind was blown. 20 plus years later, I look at the logo and no longer see the bull. Just an upside down robot priest...

Why are they doing this? What do these robot overlords want from us? Please, America. Rise up against the cybernetic oppressors before it's too late!

Finally, somebody talking some sense! It's times like these when I know, despite all you naysayers, that I'm not alone. Although, sometimes, I wish I was. Seriously bro, a man needs some private time. Now toss me that National Geographic on your way out, will you? Not that one, the other one. Yeah, with the dino on the cover.

The Chicago Bulls Logo Conspiracy [rationalreality]

Thanks to b00m, who suspects the Celtics logo was created by the Illuminati to help control sports fans.

Jul 20 2009 What Led Up To The WoW Freak Out Video

Allegedly this is the footage that led up to the infamous World of Warcraft freak-out video. Basically, kid has a dick for a brother and some serious anger management issues. Now I'm not saying he has serial killer written all over him, but he did try to sodomize himself with a remote in a fit of rage. Which I do, and I'm no serial killer. So I think he'll be okay.

Youtube

Thanks to chrissy mc poopypantsbaconlover, who might want to lay off the bacon for awhile. I kid, totally worth it.

Continue Reading " What Led Up To The WoW Freak Out Video "

Jul 20 2009 I Would Never Leave: The Hi-Can Luxury Bed

The Hi-Can luxury bed has everything you've ever wanted in a bed minus a bathroom and snack bar. Oh, and dancing pole. I like to strip myself to sleep.

A theater screen pulls down at the foot of the bed for viewing television or movies. An integrated personal computer system means you can work or surf the web in bed as well. Game consoles are built in for added entertainment value. Lights for reading and shades for sleeping are also fully integrated.

Eh, it's a little too weird looking for my taste. Besides, I've been sleeping on a pile of clothes for the past two years and, quite frankly, I think your mom likes it just fine. BU-BU-BU-BURN! But seriously, wonderful lady.

Hit the jump for a couple more shots and a brief video.

Continue Reading " I Would Never Leave: The Hi-Can Luxury Bed "

Jul 20 2009 Found Her!: Carmen Sandiego Spotted In Wild

I swear this is old, but honestly, that's never stopped me from posting anything in the past, so why stop now? I'M RUNNING THIS RED LIGHT! Anyway, the law finally caught up with Carmen Sandiego at an undisclosed airport. And as you can see, she hasn't aged as well as I was hoping. Remember when Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? first came out and your friend convinced you if you beat the game 200 times you got to see her naked? Yeah, I know all my world capitals.

Carmen Sandiego Has Been Found! [geekstir]

Thanks to Joemo, who once found a Carmen Sandiego shaped barbecue chip but accidentally broke it before he could sell it on eBay.

Jul 20 2009 N64 Mod Looks Like Super Mario 64 Castle

Some guy went and modded an N64 to look like Princess Peach's castle from Super Mario 64. I think he used modeling clay or something. Anyway, it sold on eBay for a cool Eisenhower Franklin. That's $100 for those of you who have never seen one.

Up for auction is a hand-designed custom Nintendo 64 made to look like Peach's Castle from Super Mario 64. The exterior of the castle has been molded to look like the bricks and roof tiles, then painted. The mural of Princess Peach is a very detailed mosaic and the five flags are made of cloth. The top part of the castle is removable so you can put a game cartridge inside when you need to.

Yeah well what if I don't wanna put a game cartridge inside? What if I want to jam a piece of bread in there? "That isn't a toaster, GW!" SHUT UP I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING! Now, why is my bread still cold?

Hit the jump for a couple more pictures, including a closeup of the mosaic.

Continue Reading " N64 Mod Looks Like Super Mario 64 Castle "

Jul 20 2009 Kid Drinks Gasoline To Be Like Transformer

Some 14-year old kid in China has been drinking gasoline since he was 9 to become more like a Transformer. Unfortunately, he's become more like an idiot moron.

The youngster was so impressed that he began drinking fuel on a daily basis to "obtain energy" and become a mighty warrior like the Transformers.

"Since my son start to drink gas, his intelligence quotient dropped sharply and he couldn't figure out addition and subtraction of sums within 100," the father said. "Before that, he was a very smart boy, and he could even repair the television. But now he doesn't know the answer of 7 plus 17."

To the boy's credit, I don't know what 7 plus 17 is either (87?). Still, I love the smell of gasoline as much as the next guy, but actually drinking it? That's just crazy talk. I love robots. So was that.

Transformers fan drank gasoline to gain energy [russiatoday]
via
Optimus Prime Cocktail [runawaytheologian]

Thanks to Anthony, who once drank bleach to be more like a washing machine.

Jul 20 2009 Wrong: Creating Advertisements On The Moon

The natural satellite burglars over at Moon Publicity want to create ads on the moon by using robots that can draw in the dust. The whole idea has several problems. 1. robots and 2. ADVERTISING ON THE MOON. Like the aliens don't already hate us enough.

WEST VALLEY CITY, Utah, July 20 /PRNewswire/ -- It's one giant leap for robot-kind. New Shadow Shaping technology creates images on the Moon that can be seen from Earth. Robots are used to create several small ridges in the lunar dust over large areas that capture shadows and shape them to form logos, domains names, memorials or even portraits. Talk about the Man in the Moon! You can even carve your initials in a heart to impress your sweetheart.

As outerspace-y as I am, I just can't approve of etching a bunch of shit in the moon. I mean, it's like a landmark, you know? That would be like giving the Washington Monument a giant pair of balls, which, okay that would be cool.

Idiots Want Robots to Draw Ads On the Moon's Surface [gizmodo]

Thanks to Julian, who agrees GEEKOLOGIE.COM is pretty much the only thing cool enough to belong on the moon.

Jul 20 2009 EATR Robot NOT Designed To Eat Dead Bodies, Or, How A Company Backpedals

Cyclone Power Technologies, the company behind the Energetically Autonomous Tactical Robot (EATR), denies that it was designed to dine on human corpses. Obviously, they're lying through their oil-stained, robot loving teeth.

"We completely understand the public's concern about futuristic robots feeding on the human population, but that is not our mission," said Harry Schoell, CEO of Cyclone Power Technologies. "We are focused on demonstrating that our engines can create usable, green power from plentiful, renewable plant matter."

Let me tell you a little personal story: I used to be vegetarian. Now I eat the hell out of some meat. Draw your own conclusion.

Darpa's Self-Feeding Sentry Robot is Not a Man-Eater, Company Protests [popsci]

Thanks to Rodger and Charles, who know what the future holds because they both have crystal balls. Be careful bicycling, guys.

Jul 19 2009 Hot Dog!: Weinermobile Crashes Into Home

One of the iconic Oscar Meyer Wienermobiles crashed into a Wisconsin home on Friday, following a failed turn-around.

Police say the driver was trying to turn the Wienermobile around in the driveway and thought she was moving in reverse. But she instead went forward and hit the home. It sat in the driveway as if it were stuck in the garage Friday afternoon.

Ha, women. I can't believe we still issue them licenses. But seriously, if any of you ladies need a hot dog parked in your garage, call me. I'm sensitive to a woman's needs.

Wienermobile Crashes Into Wisconsin Home [foxnews]

Thanks to Dustin, FDSY, Masami and phil, who prefer to park it around back.

Jul 19 2009 Deep Roots: The Mario Game Family Tree

This is a depiction of all Mario games in the style of a family tree. Obviously, there aren't only ten games, so click HERE to see the super-ultra-high-res joint with all 130+ games. Fun fact: I was born in the same hospital by the same doctor as my father. So, yeah. I swear, it's like we've known each other our whole lives, you and I. Want to hold hands? Okay, but I've got to warn you: mine's hairy sweaty.

Mario Family Line [limitbreak]

Thanks to em.monster, who puts Nessie to shame. And to Kalutika, who fell from the tree of beauty.

Jul 19 2009 eBay: Piece Of Film From Original Star Trek

Want to own a piece of Star Trek that you can wear around the house like a boa? Then you're in luck, because a man is selling an 11-foot piece of film from the "Mirror, Mirror" episode of the original Star Trek series.

This is a unique, one-of-a-kind item. I was an assistant film editor on the original series of Star Trek and this is an original section of film that came right out of the camera after shooting. This is from the episode "Mirror, Mirror" which aired October 6, 1967. The clipping is 11 feet 7 frames long, about 183 frames total. Pictured on the film is Chekov (Walter Koenig) when he is foiled in his attempt to kill Captain Kirk. The clip follows the fight sequence and includes two different phaser blasts which were hand scribed by me back in 1969.

Starting bid is $500, and I wouldn't be surprised if this ended up selling for a pretty penny. Or a handsome quarter. You hear that? Better luck next time you busted ass nickel!

eBay Auction

Thanks to Sigrid, who doesn't need a phaser to know how to rock pew.