Jul 31 2009 Teen Suing Amazon For Deleting Book From Kindle, Or, Why I Don't Have My Homework

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A teen has filed a class-action lawsuit against Amazon for remotely deleting a copy of George Orwell's '1984' off his Kindle without his knowledge or the right to do so.

Justin D. Gawronski, 17, "now needs to recreate all of his studies," alleges the complaint filed Thursday in Seattle by the law firm KamberEdelson, LLC.


Gawronski took copious notes using the Kindle that were linked to particular passages in the book, the court document says, and while those notes are still accessible, they are useless without the passages they reference.

Amazon has apologized for remotely deleting copies of 1984 and another Orwell novel, Animal Farm, in mid-July without informing customers.

Jay Edelson, the lead attorney in the lawsuit, said in a statement that the plaintiffs "appreciate Amazon.com's new-found contrition, but words are not enough. Amazon.com had no more right to hack into people's Kindles than its customers have the right to hack into Amazon's bank account to recover a mistaken overpayment."

Now I'm not saying Amazon should have done that, but I am saying that Justin is pretty lazy for not just going back through the book and finding the passages again. Not that it matters anyways because I'm pretty sure this is just a sorry excuse for not having your homework ready on time. But seriously, one time my dog really did eat my homework. And by homework I mean weed.

Amazon sued for wrecking teen's Kindle work [msn]

Thanks to Laura and Joemo, who would have just sent their teacher a corrupted file like a normal person.

Jul 31 2009 Robotic Arms Have Come A Long Way. A Long, Much More Deadly Way (Hold Me)

This is a video of a bunch of different robotic hands showing how dexterous they are at bouncing balls, gripping things, throwing things, catching things and a bunch of other fun stuff robots shouldn't be allowed to do. I mean, what is this, robot gym class? Next thing you know they're gonna be whipping your ass with a wet towel in the locker room. WHICH IS ONLY FUN WHEN TWO GROWN MEN DO IT. Am I right guys? Love that game.

Youtube

Thanks to Chris and Aroinak, who once shot a bot in Reno and didn't even stick around. Way to go guys, there could have been more.

Jul 31 2009 Idiot Moron Facebook Geek Test Is Flawed

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So there's this alleged 'Geek Test' on Facebook that I took and I scored a 2 out of 10. A FREAKING TWO! Do you know who I am, you stupid Facebook piece of test? Who wrote you? TELL ME WHO WROTE YOU!! Because I am going to beat them within a micron of their life with a science book and then cut them with a laser. Also, as an added Friday bonus, I left my picture up. So in case you were wondering, that's me. TOO BAD I ALREADY CHANGED IT AGAIN, SUCKERS! And if you haven't already, join the Geekologie fanpage on Facebook OR I WILL DRINK THIS CAT.

Link to Geek Test From Geekologie Page

Jul 31 2009 Wear This *snicker*: Bikini Dissolves In Water

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Wow, just typing snicker makes me want a Snickers bar. Does it do that to you too? Please circle yes or no and pass this note back to me in between classes. So anyway, a seemingly ordinary bikini that dissolves when it gets wet. That's something.

Sellers in Germany bill the dissolving Get Naked costume as a chance for men to get their own back after a break-up.


But women's rights campaigner Rosmarie Zapfl stormed: "It is an absolute insult to women that this has been invented."

It really is though. Which is exactly why I just bought every last one of them so no woman will have to experience that humiliation. Also, ladies -- pool party at my house! No need to bring anything, I've got a ton of suits *snicker*. Damnit I did it again.

Dissolving Bikini is the Ultimate Revenge Gift [spike]
and
Teeny weeny dissolvable bikini [thesun]

Thanks to Steven, william and slammer, who only wear thong-backed bathing suits because they're cheeky.

Jul 31 2009 Take Note: This Is How You Sell Video Games

In some of the best marketing I've seen in my entire life (and yours too), the makers of Ninja Gaiden Sigma 2 went and attached some fake plaster boobs to a wall. I just pre-ordered like 80 copies and I don't even own a television or video game console.

The plaster mammaries assumedly belong to Sigma 2's Ayane or Momiji -- both are playable in this iteration of the game (the text which appears at the end of the video actually says "a female ninja appears")

The video consists of a bunch of people walking by and touching the breasts, which, be honest, you would have too. There's no shame in my game -- I totally would have. Then I'd have come back that night with a chisel AND MAKE THEM MINE.

Bizarre Ninja Gaiden Sigma 2 marketing features wall molestation [joystiq]

Thanks to Richard, who could sell safety matches to the devil.

Jul 31 2009 Robotic Moles To Deliver Goods Underground

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An army of little robots that travel through a city's existing sewer lines delivering packages of death to unsuspecting recipients. That sounds wonderful.

The brainchild of designer Phillip Hermes, the Urban Mole is a capsule that travels through existing networks of underground pipes in order to transport packages as diverse as groceries, signed documents and any title that appears on Oprah's Book Club.


According to VisionWorks, "The pipe system is structured like a road network - the more traffic, the bigger the pipe." Electric rails within the pipes provide juice for the Mole's motors in a system that works like a miniature subway. Still more pipes run from drop-off points to delivery centers called MoleStations...where customers can retrieve their items locally. The designer estimates that the average cross-town delivery could take place in less than ten minutes.

Interesting, but it'll never work. Mainly because you and I are gonna sit down there with night vision goggles and crowbars and bash every single one of these things open waiting for a shipment of diamonds. Then, we'll order pizza and party with the ninja turtles. COWABUNGA!

Hit the jump for a coupe more shots of the conceptual couriers.

Continue Reading " Robotic Moles To Deliver Goods Underground "

Jul 31 2009 A-Ha!: So That's The Other Half Of The Battle

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This $20 t-shirt depicts what the other, more mysterious half of a G.I. Joe battle is. Now I would have guessed it's a pork chop sandwich/body massage combo, but what do I know? Besides, oh I dunno, EVERYTHING AND THEN SOME. Numbers? I KNOW MY NUMBERS. You + me + ice cream = <3

Product Site

Thanks to Julian and Rastapopolous, who sunshine day ya a time for de bus rida.

Jul 31 2009 I Don't Care What You Say, I Would Eat It

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Yes I would. I would cut that cake with a knife and eat it with a fork OR WHATEVER UTENSIL IS AROUND. And if there aren't any I would just use my hand like a neanderthal BECAUSE I AM A SUCKER FOR ICE CREAM CAKE, OKAY? Now I know most of you guys don't like Twilight because it sucks so hard, but a lot of chicks really eat this teenage vampire shit up. Not getting any chicks? USE IT TO YOUR ADVANTAGE. I'm talking fang implants, bro.

Cake of the Day: Needs more sprinkles. [dailywhat]

Thanks to pstone, who doesn't do vampires but did date a halfling.

Jul 30 2009 Pikachu Was The Hottest Girl At Comic-Con?

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According to who? Because I don't remember getting a ballot. Or past security. But there's a bunch more shots of Pikachu girl Jessica Nigri after the jump so you can draw your own conclusions. Personally, I prefer the original Pikachu girl (this one, not this one) better. And I'm not just saying that because I know her, but I do. And before you ask, no, she sadly doesn't do birthdays.

Hit it for a whole bunch more.

Continue Reading " Pikachu Was The Hottest Girl At Comic-Con? "

Jul 30 2009 Cocoa & The Sandersens: Strike 3, Yer Out!

NOTE: VIDEO BEST WATCHED WITH CANDY AND ICE CREAM BUT NOT POP-TARTS.

I honestly didn't know what a strike out was until I watched this, and I think it's pretty safe to say I've been living my life in vain. This video is so jam packed with important life lessons that I'm thinking about writing a book about it. It's gonna be called, 'Striking Out: How Not To Give A Dang'. Yeah, and it's gonna be a bestseller in both self help AND cookbooks because I'm going to include a couple of my favorite stoned recipes like 'Skittles' and 'Ice Cream Right Out Of The Box'. So, Cocoa, what do you say -- me, you, a palace made of candy? BECAUSE I CAN MAKE THAT HAPPEN.

cocoa likes this

Jul 30 2009 I'd Eat That Off The Floor: Human Dog Food

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Kooky-Chew Human Dog Food is actually 2 1/2 ounces of crunchy cookie bits for humans, but made to look like dog kibble. I want some. Plus, each bowl comes with a candy bone, and who doesn't like candy? Or ice cream? GOD, THIS WASN'T EVEN ABOUT ICE CREAM BUT NOW I WANT SOME! Each bowl will set you back a cool $1.49 and should not be stored in the same place as regular dog food. Because you know what will happen, don't you? I don't, but I'm sure it'll be hilarious. Like somebody stepping on a rake and getting hit in the face!

Product Site

Thanks to Julian, who once ate a whole 20lb bag of dog food before he realized it was cat foot. I LIKE THE SALMON FLAVOR TOO, JULIAN!

Jul 30 2009 Not For My Kids!: Darth Vader Robot Arm Toy

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This Darth Vader robotic arm toy from Uncle Milton (creep!) costs $30 and will be broken by day's end. God, can I sell products or what? No, seriously, I can.

Build and use a real Star Wars Darth Vader robotic arm! Grip and move objects using interactive controls. Assembles easily with snap-together parts. Kids will learn how robotic arms are being used in medical science applications! Includes stand with built-in controls. Fun and informative learning guide included.


* Assembles quickly and easily with snap-together parts.

* Includes stand with built-in controls.

* Gripping, turning, and extending action.

* Grabs and holds lightweight objects.

Well if that doesn't sound funner than a bunch of Sea Monkeys I don't know what does (except everything, including watching your last Sea Monkey die). No, I hereby challenge you to an arm wrestling match, Vader Arm. Ready? Set? *SLAM* Go. Haha, you have two fingers!

Product Site

Thanks to Slade, who made a necklace out of robot fingers, which is pretty sick. And to naas, who's going to use this arm to choke me for the rest of the week.

Jul 30 2009 Blocky Love: A Tetris Heart Tattoo

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A Tetris heart tattoo, I love it. I can't really tell what part of the body it's on, but I'm gonna go ahead and pretend it's not the taint. Because that would be a big one.

Hit the jump for several more Tetris tattoo, including another heart.

Continue Reading " Blocky Love: A Tetris Heart Tattoo "

Jul 30 2009 You've Got To Quit, Smoking Will Kill Us All!

I swear, these public service announcements are getting a little out of hand. That said, here's the latest:

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: Reading Geekologie makes you more attractive to the opposite sex. Also, the same sex. Every time you tell a friend about Geekologie a baby unicorn gets its horn and stabs the devil IN HIS CROTCH. Help poke holes in the devil's nads by telling as many people as possible about this great website. Thank you and have a Thirsty Thursday.

Extreme Anti-Smoking Ad [collegehumor]

Thanks to Rodger, steve and Dallas, who smoke rocks. Igneous is their favorite.

Jul 30 2009 Jacket Assassins: Ninja Star Coat Hooks

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Does Ninja Boy hang his denim jacket on ninja star coat hooks? You bet your socially awkward katana he does! These Ninja Coat Hooks from Spinning Hat designs are coat hooks made to look like ninja stars. Hi-ya? HI-YA!

The Ninja Coat Hooks will transform your hallway into the scene of a Shanghai back street stand-off. Each metal Ninja Coat Hook has one corner cleverly engineered into a screw, which allows you to fix securely to your wall or door, whilst making it look like it has been hurled from the hands of a deadly Ninjitsu assassin.

Each star will set you back around $13. Alternatively, I'll drive you to the mall and we can go the kiosk that sells ninja swords and body jewelry and pick up a pack of real ones. Afterwards, we'll head over to Hot Topic for novelty t-shirts and then to the food court to wash it all down with an Orange Julius. High five!

Product Site

Jul 30 2009 Don't Eat The Pan!: Pac-Man Oven Mitts

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This $12 Pac-Man Hothead from Fred is a silicon oven mitt that's "ready to eat the heat". Or, I dunno, your cookies! I like how the inside of his mouth looks like a Pac-Man level, I thought that was a nice touch. But not as nice as yours. No seriously -- this back isn't gonna rub itself.

Product Site (click 'buy' and 'shop online' if you want to find a place that sells them)

Jul 29 2009 Caring Means Sharing: Gaming In Love

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Is that not the cutest thing you've ever seen? I swear, if one had a puppy in her lap I would be crying right now. Which *sniff* I am totally not. Punch the tears back, GW, punch the tears back. AAAAAAAHHH -- POW POW POW!!

This Is How Two Girls Play Gameboy When They Really Love Each Other [gizmodo]

Jul 29 2009 Honey, I'm Gonna Need That Ring Back: Nano-diamonds May Help Heal Wounds

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Seen here is Dr. Manhattan's conception a nano-diamond attracting insulin to help a wound heal quicker. Neat, but I'd still douse it with Blue # 1 just to be on the safe side.

Northwestern University scientist Dean Ho and his team discovered that nanodiamonds are very attractive to insulin, best know for helping regulate blood sugar. Insulin, however, can also accelerate healing processes and stave off infection in wound sites, according to Ho:


Insulin accelerates wound healing by acting as a growth hormone. It encourages skin cells to proliferate and divide, restores blood flow to the wound, suppresses inflammation and fights infection.

Nice, but I can't even get my insurance to cover regular bandages at the doctor, so I can pretty much forget about DIABANDAGES©. Haha -- pay me, suckers!

Diamonds Are A Wound's Best Friend [io9]

Thanks to Tank and Totex, who once shot up emeralds and died. Don't do precious stones, kids.

Jul 29 2009 Unhappy Hump Day: Another Learning Robot

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Just look at that picture. Do you see anything wrong with it? If you answered, "yes -- absolutely everything, there is not a single thing right about that photo", congratulations, there's hope for you yet. Anyway, a group of hellbent fools at the Developmental Robotics Laboratory at Iowa State University have developed a robot that they hope will be able to learn things similar to the way a child does.

Rather than pre-program it to perform a set of tasks, the team believes that robots need to experience the same kind of development that humans and animals do.


To that end, their 'bot is equipped with two long arms and a pair of webcam-looking eyes. It can hear and see, and learns to identify objects by picking them up and performing different tests, such as shaking or dropping them.

Yes, shaking and dropping them. Just wait until it identifies a human. Also, whose bright idea was it to give that thing a pair of scissors. I'M NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO USE SCISSORS AND I'M HUMAN! Moooooooom -- the dog made me glue my head to the carpet again!

Video of the learning baby deathbot in action after the jump.

Continue Reading " Unhappy Hump Day: Another Learning Robot "

Jul 29 2009 Why?: Jellyfish Toys Go In Your Water Bottle

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Bandai is selling these $6 jellyfish toys that you put in your water bottle to keep you company when you're doing whatever sad, lonely thing you do that's led you to buy a $6 piece of plastic to keep you company. But hey, I'm not judging (I just ordered thirty). They come in jellyfish, squid and octopus varieties and present a choking hazard to all people under 150. GOTTA CHOKE ON 'EM ALL!

Several more shots after the jump.

Continue Reading " Why?: Jellyfish Toys Go In Your Water Bottle "

Jul 29 2009 Pie Suckers: I Could Probably Eat A Million

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Pie suckers are exactly what they sound like: a race of aliens that come down and suck people's pies out of their kitchen windows while they're cooling. No I don't look at pictures or read stuff, I just post! I'm a posting machine. BUT DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME A ROBOT OR I WILL BEEP BOOP BOP YOUR FACE IN! Okay, I looked at the picture. Are you happy now? Pie suckers are actually miniature pies on sticks, officially making them the most brilliant things I've ever heard of (move over Pop Tarts!). I just ate like four hundred of them with the sticks. Now my tummy hurts. What are you waiting for -- PUNCH ME IN THE GUT, YOU SISSY!

Artisticly Delicious - Pie Suckers [writhem]

Thanks to Michael, who better have a case of these in the mail to me. OR ELSE. Or else somebody else is gonna have to make me some. Anybody? Notice how I said anybody instead of ladies? I really wanted to say ladies BUT I AM TURNING OVER A NEW, MORE SENSITIVE CRUST. Womens?

Jul 29 2009 I NEED One: Gas Powered Vortex Cannon

We've allegedly seen the world's largest vortex cannon before, but that thing doesn't hold a match to the power of this sucker, featured on the BBC's Bang Goes The Theory. The goal was to use this cannon to recreate the big bad wolf's huffing and puffing from Three Little Pigs. Now I don't want to ruin it for you, so just watch. Then, you and I are building one and robbing a bank. I've always wanted to wear a ski mask!

Youtube

Thanks to Ross and James, who'll huff and puff and then use dynamite.

Jul 29 2009 That's Pretty Messed Up: 2-D Relationships

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I think the picture speaks for itself, just listen. "This is sooooo creepy". There, did you hear that? I've written about being in love with 2-D characters before, but apparently the phenomenon is even more widespread than previously thought. Japan, you never cease to amaze me.

As they got to know each other, they traveled hundreds of miles west -- to Kyoto, Osaka and Nara, sleeping in his car or crashing on friends' couches to save money. They took touristy pictures under cherry trees, frolicked like children on merry-go-rounds and slurped noodles on street corners. Now, after three years together, they are virtually inseparable. "I've experienced so many amazing things because of her," Nisan told me, rubbing Nemutan's leg warmly. "She has really changed my life."


Nemutan doesn't really have a leg. She's a stuffed pillowcase -- a 2-D depiction of a character, Nemu, from an X-rated version of a PC video game called Da Capo, printed on synthetic fabric.

DUM DUM DUM! You like where I ended that quote? I did it for dramatic emphasis, and I think it worked. The New York Times has a really long, in-depth article about the phenomenon, so you may want to go check that out if you're a closet pillow humper. But seriously -- 18+ only pillows, please.

Love in 2-D [nytimes]

Thanks to amy, who can only love in 4-D.

Jul 28 2009 Blue Dye May Help After Spinal Injuries

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FD&C Blue No. 1, a food dye commonly found in Gatorade and other unnaturally blue consumables, is believe do help prevent cell death after a spinal cord injury. Imagine what Purple No. 3 might do!

[The dye] appears to block a molecule that floods the injury site and kills nerve cells, a team reports in the July 28 Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.


Rats dosed with the dye after injury showed greater improvement in motor skills than rats not receiving the dye. And the food colorant's low toxicity suggests a new approach for treating spinal cord trauma in humans, injuries for which there are few therapies.

"It's not a cure," says neuroscientist Maiken Nedergaard of the University of Rochester Medical Center in Rochester, N.Y., who led the new study. "I don't think that anything can cure this, but for the patient it could be a big improvement."

Blue No. 1 folks, it's the future. Which sucks, because I've been stockpiling Yellow No. 5. Now what am I supposed to do with it all? BESIDES POUR IT INTO THE WATER SUPPLY AND BECOME THIS CITY'S GREATEST LOVER!

Brilliant blue for the spine [sciencenews]

Thanks to dustin and Julian, who only experiment with drugs.

Jul 28 2009 HOORAY!: HAPPY 4,000TH POST TO ME!

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Dearest Reader,

That could be a cash register for all I know, the important thing is that I WOULD TOTALLY EAT THOSE GUMDROP KEYS. Also, this is my 4,000th post as your Geekologie Writer. FOUR-THOUSANDTH! I honestly can't think of a single other thing I've done that many times. Not one. I swear, it seems like only yesterday (it was actually back in February) I was tooting my own horn for 3,000 posts fairly well done.

I'd like to thank all you regulars (you know who you are) for constantly filling the comments sections with crap (although you should start more fights, I miss the fights). You've racked up 115,543 comments on the posts I've written, 100,000 of which are My Brute links. But seriously, thank you all for reading everyday (EVERYDAY -- not every-other day or a couple times a week, EVERYDAY). And for those of you new to Geekologie, it's a pleasure to meet you, say hi sometime. Thank you all (and Anticlown Media) for giving me the means to lay around the house all day and fill your interweb with awesome. Here's to the next thousand!

Love,

Your Geekologie Writer

P.S. A very special thanks to Cocoa, for teaching me everything I know about NOT GIVING A DANG.

Jul 28 2009 Seriously Bro, You Stink: Doc Bottoms Aspray

Doc Bottoms Aspray is an all over body deodorant that allegedly cuts your funk by neutralizing bacteria. Who knows, maybe it works. One thing's for certain though: this commercial doesn't.

Aspray goes where other deodorants can't. Aspray you butt. Aspray your feet. Aspray under your arms -- you can even Aspray your privates

Really? Was that really necessary? WHO DOESN'T KNOW THEY CAN ASPRAY THEIR PRIVATES?!? I'm an Old Spice guy though. Just sayin', IT BUUUUURNS!

Youtube

Thanks to Harry, Jennifer and Spider, who all stink. Especially Jennifer.

Jul 28 2009 Spoiled Brat Gets 98" TV In Ceiling Above Bed

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Patti Deni, undoubtedly trying to make up for her lack of parenting (or child droppage), had a 98-inch StarGlas60 television installed in the ceiling above her teenage son's bed.

"Because it's so big and has such a wide viewing angle, Patty's son wouldn't have to lay flat on his back necessary to see the screen," Bohner explains.


"He and his friends can prop themselves just about anywhere and get a good view," adds Patty.

Wow. I didn't even have a TV in my bedroom until I was....okay, I don't think I've ever had a TV in my bedroom. And you know why? Because I don't sleep. LIKE EDWARD IN TWILIGHT. Only I'm dreamier. Somebody, anybody, back me up. DO IT NOW!

100-inch Screen Gets Mounted Flush in the Ceiling [electronichouse]

Thanks to naas and 42 y/o undead warlock, whose kids are lucky to not sleep under the dining room table.

Jul 28 2009 Printing Press Gets TRON-ified, Glowy

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Geekologie Reader Jason went and decked out an oldschool printing press TRON style (to celebrate the anniversary of the film earlier this month) by adding some glow in the dark tape. This is an animated gif, so if you give it a minute it'll automatically switch between lights on and lights off mode. Personally, I only like printing in the dark. Somebody get the switch. Now, who's ready to create some headlines? Feka dlawe wewa pinme awqiro bglkuv sweey. Success! Now rubber band and bag 'em, boys, it's raining out. Who just touched my butt?

DIY Friday: Pimp My Press [printeresting] (with several more animations)

Thanks Jason, now let's start our own newspaper!

Jul 28 2009 I'd Type With It: Font Created By Driving A Car

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Personally, I've always wanted a font created out of my handwriting because I have the cutest damn handwriting in the world (I even dot my i's with hearts!), but hey, a driving font, that's cool too.

Graphic designers Pierre Smeets and Damien Aresta, known collectively as pleaseletmedesign, teamed up with professional race car driver Stef van Campenhoudt to...create a font.


As you can see Campenhoudt did the "writing". The 4 dots on the roof of the car was tracked in real time using a camera and a custom software designed by fellow artist Zachary Lieberman of openFrameworks.

If you ask me, I'd say it turned out pretty well. So go ahead -- ask me. I think it turned out pretty well. Told you! I AM A MAN OF MY WORD.

Hit the jump for a video of the font creation in action, complete with soundtrack that gave me an aural seizure.

Continue Reading " I'd Type With It: Font Created By Driving A Car "

Jul 28 2009 Marvel Superheroes Getting Anime Treatment

Not to be outdone by Master Chief, both Iron Man and Wolverine are getting the anime treatment courtesy of Madhouse Studios and Marvel Entertainment. Allegedly, two more superheroes will follow. This is the teaser for Iron Man, Wolverine is behind the cut. Get it, behind the cut? Because of his claws!

Hit it for Wolverine, which was much weirder.

Continue Reading " Marvel Superheroes Getting Anime Treatment "

Jul 28 2009 Russian Pilot Ejecting From Plane At Mach 2

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Growing up, my dad would only slow to 25MPH to drop me off at school, so I'm no stranger to bailing out of moving vehicles. Just not at Mach 2. That's crazy talk. Now don't get me wrong, I would still do it. BUT ONLY BECAUSE I DON'T GIVE A DANG.

Movie producers paid two Sukhoi Su-35 pilots to fly without a canopy at Mach 2.0, and have one of them eject in what probably is one of the most dangerous stunts ever filmed.

Two words, Russian movie producers: special effects. Just throwing that out there.

Hit the jump for a shot of the remaining pilot flying with no canopy.

Continue Reading " Russian Pilot Ejecting From Plane At Mach 2 "

Jul 27 2009 Gallery: Sexy Comic-Con Cosplay Girls

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Remember last year's girls of Comic-Con gallery? Well MaximumPC went above and beyond the call of duty this year with over 600 cosplay pictures from the event. I ran through them all and randomly grabbed about 20 of the sexiest, but there are a ton more to see, so hit the jump for my favorites, and the link for the rest. One thing is for certain though: THIS GUY IS GOING TO COMIC-CON next year. And he is going to have a booth. A KISSING ONE. Ladies -- do I hear a nickel?

Jump. But warning: there's a thong in the mix. Because I love you.

Continue Reading " Gallery: Sexy Comic-Con Cosplay Girls "

Jul 27 2009 Wicked Awesome Crazy Sci-Fi Cartoon

I have no idea what I just watched, but, like catching my dog humping the cat for the first time, I knew it was something special (and romantic). Only difference is this time I didn't film it. Just watch, listen, and be amazed.

BIRDY NAM NAM - THE PARACHUTE ENDING [vimeo]

Thanks to Lee, who makes movies about reading books. The Princess Bride and The Neverending Story FTW!

Jul 27 2009 Fire Eater: 30th Anniversary Pac-Man Zippos

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Let's face it, Pac-Man and fire go together like virtually anything else and fire: perfectly. And even if you gave up the rock years ago, there's still other stuff to light to light, am I right? Of course I am. Enter these 30th anniversary Pac-Man lighters. Available in three different styles, they'll be available this November for an undisclosed sum of amount. So start saving. In the meantime, start your fires the old fashioned way: by making napalm out of gasoline and Styrofoam AND LIGHTING IT WITH A BULLET. I was a Boyscout, I learned things.

Hit the jump for a close-up of the model that looks like the game screen.

Continue Reading " Fire Eater: 30th Anniversary Pac-Man Zippos "

Jul 27 2009 Do It Yourself Aftermarket Motorcycle Seat

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People's ingenuity never ceases to amaze me. Take this custom motorcycle seat for instance. Just imagine the lumbar support! But the question remains: is there enough room to add a baby seat? BECAUSE MY BABY WAS BORN TO RIDE! And by 'my baby' I mean I sit with a hot computer in my lap for 14 hours a day. There are no survivors.

DIY Motorcycle Seat Grants Great Posture at the Expense of Dignity [gizmodo]

Jul 27 2009 Master Chief Theater: Halo Anime Coming

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You like what I did with the title there? I lol'd. And by lol'd I mean tried to hammer my teeth out with a XBox 360 controller. So anyway, there comes a time when all great franchises must come to an end in a horrible burning fire of suck. This is that time for Halo.

Microsoft is teaming with five production houses for a series of seven short films called Halo Legends, reports the Los Angeles Times. The five production houses are some of the biggest names in the industry:


Bones, Casio Entertainment, Production I.G., Studio4 C, and Toei Animation.

The creative director overseeing the production is Shinji Aramaki, director of Appleseed and Appleseed Ex Machina.

Actually, this could turn out to be pretty good. Probably not pork chop sandwiches good, but genius like that doesn't grow on trees. IT COMES FROM PIGS, SILLY!

Details About Halo Anime [kotaku]

Thanks to Master Chief woot woot, Master Chief's funner, harder-partying brother.

Jul 27 2009 Eye Candy: Luke Skywalker USB Drive

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This is a custom made Luke Skywalker (circa Empire Strikes Back) USB drive. I assume it's painted modeling clay, but honestly it could be made out of unicorn tears for all I know. What an amazing job the artist did though -- such an expressive face. It's like you can hear him screaming, "WHY'D SHE HAVE TO BE MY SISTER!?!"

Hit the jump for several more shots of the expressiveness.

Continue Reading " Eye Candy: Luke Skywalker USB Drive "

Jul 27 2009 Homemade: Automatic Popcorn Kernel Sorter

Stupid Inventor Zachary is at it again, this time with a tool that automatically sorts unpopped popcorn kernels out of your bowl so you can repop them. Just don't eat them or you'll end up growing maize in your stomach! And, as a guy who once tried to grow wine grapes in his gut, trust me, you don't want to. Also, Zachary claims the vibrating motor he used came from an old massage pillow, but it looks suspiciously familiar. Read: I'm not eating out of that bowl.

Episode 14: The Popcorn Sorter [instructables]

Thanks Zachary, now get cracking on something that sorts broken potato chips out of the bag. THE GW DOES NOT DO PARTIAL CHIPS.

Jul 27 2009 Cute: Dog Leash Has Severed Hand To Hold

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Seen here with optional belly dancing belt, the Hand Leash from Alice Wang is just that: a leash with a mannequin hand that you hold. Also works great for cats (I'm looking at you, crazy cat lady). Now why nobody thought of this sooner is beyond me. I mean, it just makes sense. That said, I'm still holding out for a foot model. What? DON'T JUDGE ME.

Hit the jump for a couple more shots.

Continue Reading " Cute: Dog Leash Has Severed Hand To Hold "

Jul 26 2009 Scientists Fear Robots Are Getting Too Smart

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How would you like to wake up to this guy staring at you? You wouldn't, would you? Okay, how about the guy with the phone? I give him a maybe. Anyway, some scientists (the smart ones) fear that robot intelligence is going too far and we must do something to stop them before they stop (read: kill) us.

Impressed and alarmed by advances in artificial intelligence, a group of computer scientists is debating whether there should be limits on research that might lead to loss of human control over computer-based systems that carry a growing share of society's workload, from waging war to chatting with customers on the phone.


[They] generally discounted the possibility of highly centralized superintelligences and the idea that intelligence might spring spontaneously from the Internet. But they agreed that robots that can kill autonomously are either already here or will be soon.

That's right, AUTONOMOUS KILLER ROBOTS. You remember Twiki from Buck Rogers? He was one. Bidi-bidi-bidi!

Thanks to joe, Red, Daniel, Carmen, jabberw0ck, Rogue Cheddar, Retroprofile, Sarah, Princess Padme's Masturbation Fantasy and Patrick, who all help me fight the good fight. Fight first, pizza party second.

Jul 26 2009 Full Size House To Be Built With LEGO Bricks

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James May, co-host of the British Top Gear television series, is going to attempt to build a full size, two story house entirely out of LEGO bricks.

As part of his BBC series James May's Toy Stories, he plans to build a two-storey house in the middle of Denbies Wine Estate in Dorking.

May will be hosting a building day on Saturday, August 1, when members of the public can help him with the challenge.

The millions of bricks came all the way from the Czech Republic. The house will be life-size with a staircase, toilet and shower.

I would live there. And by live there I mean come home drunk, pass out on the floor, and wake up with LEGO marks all over my face. Then maybe some puking action.

Lego house attempt for James May's Toy Stories [getsurrey]

Thanks to Kieren, who built an entire planet out of LEGO and then ran through it like a leaf pile.

Jul 25 2009 OM NOM NOM NOM: Rubik's Cube Sandwich

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Ever wondered what a Rubik's Cube would look like in sandwich form? Well now you know: delicious.

The "Rubix Cubewich" contains "cubes of pastrami, kielbasa, pork fat, salami, and two types of cheddar.

Did that say pork fat? Because I think I'm in love.

Rubik's Cube Sandwich [seriouseats]

Thanks to Leanna, who's making a Battle Risk sandwich and sending it to me.

Jul 25 2009 Lil' Anakin Skywalker Hates Star Wars, Sort Of

This is an interview with Jake Lloyd, the kid that played little Anakin Skywalker in Star Wars: Episode One (ten years ago!) talking about the effect being in the film has had on his life. SPOILER ALERT: Apparently he got made fun of in school and is blamed for ruining the movie. It made me kind of sad. I mean, I didn't cry or anything, but I did burn an effigy of George Lucas and cast a spell.

The Force Is Not With Him: Anakin Skywalker 10 Years Later [yahoomovies]

Thanks to FDSY and manders, who are thankful they weren't child actors, because now their lives would be all effed up.

Jul 25 2009 Way To Blow Your Cover: Batman Cufflinks

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Listen, I know you're classy -- but are you BATMAN CUFFLINKS CLASSY? I think you are, and I'm not just saying that to get in your tux. These cufflinks are made by Etsy seller finkstudio and will set you back a cool (or crumpled -- BUT NOT ROLLED UP) Jackson ($20). Coupled with a 3-Keyboard Cat Moon t-shirt (just tape the links to your wrists), you will enter an all new world of magical magic -- where wizards and mermaids coexist and you are your own boss. Yes, a world where you can still get laid with cufflinks taped to your hands. I've been there. I've seen it.

Hit the jump for some of the other cufflinks available, including Transformers and Spiderman.

Continue Reading " Way To Blow Your Cover: Batman Cufflinks "

Jul 24 2009 Wait, Where'd He Go?: More Urban Camo

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This is a picture of Chinese artist Liu Bolin and an assistant demonstrating his incredible skill in blending in with his surroundings. Can you see him? Me neither.

He claims they make a statement about his place in society. He sees himself as an outsider whose artistic efforts are not always valued, especially in his native country.


Standing silently in front of his chosen scene, in locations all around the world, the 36-year-old uses himself as a blank canvas.

Then, with a little help from an assistant, he paints his body to merge as seamlessly as possible with what is behind him.

Now I'm not going to point any fingers, but I swear I just heard the shower curtain cough. Okay, it just moved. I'm pointing fingers now. AT YOU, LIU! DUM DUM DUM!

Hit the jump for five more, all of which may or may not contain an artist painted as something else (I never saw him).

Continue Reading " Wait, Where'd He Go?: More Urban Camo "

Jul 24 2009 Man Climbs Building With DIY Vacuum Gloves

This is a video of inventor Jem Stansfield climbing the exterior of a BBC building to show off a pair of vacuum gloves he made out of an old vacuum. Amazingly, he gets to the top, but I question how much assistance he got from the rope holder. Also, if those gloves are that strong and made out of a crappy old vacuum, imagine Dyson-powered vacuum gloves. It would suck the paint off a building! And, God willing, I would eat those paint chips.

Man climbs building with vacuum gloves [bbcnews]

Thanks to Ross, who once made vacuum boots but didn't tie them tight enough and plummeted eight stories.

Jul 24 2009 Stitch Wars: Gallery Of Star Wars Arts & Crafts

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This is a gallery of Star Wars arts and crafts, all of which involved the use of needles. But not like the kind at the doctor's office -- those ones make the GW faint!

Hit the jump for 12 more I painstakingly uploaded for your viewing pleasure. I SAID DO IT!

Continue Reading " Stitch Wars: Gallery Of Star Wars Arts & Crafts "

Jul 24 2009 Handerpants: Underpants For Your Hands

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Handerpants are a real product and apparently people are willing to pay $12 for them. Amazing -- even in a recession some people can't get their fill of novelty underwear. Or booze. I'm gonna stick with booze. I CAN HAZ GLUG?

Are you really naked under those gloves? For Pete's sake, put on some Handerpants! These 95% cotton, 5% spandex, fingerless gloves have the look and feel of men's briefs. Slip them on underneath your gloves for extra warmth and protection from chafing! Wear them on their own as a vaguely inappropriate fashion statement! Hundreds of uses! Fits most adult hands.

Yeah, well what if I have child-sized hands? Should I stuff a sock in these too? NOT THAT I'VE EVER DONE THAT (I use an old sweatshirt).

Hit the jump for a fairly painful infomercial for the things.

Continue Reading " Handerpants: Underpants For Your Hands "

Jul 24 2009 That's No Ordinary Ruler!: It's Electronic

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You know what sucks about rulers? When you'd fall asleep in class and the nuns would beat you with them. Except that never happened because I didn't go to Catholic school AND NOBODY BEATS ME BUT ME. But yeah, this is an electronic ruler by designer Shay Shafranek that has the form factor of an analog one. What will they think of next?! Affordable jetpacks? I sure hope so.

Press the power/reset button on the ruler and the LEDs light up, waiting for your input. The wooden cover conceals what the pencil in the image above is touching: a line of metal points jutting out from the inner edge of the ruler. The ruler uses the change in voltage induced by touching one of these points to calculate the distance.

I dig it, but not as much as I'm digging you. Is that a new perfume you're wearing? Because it smells like flowers and shit. And that dress -- you look better than a sackful of potatoes. I mean it, I want to kiss you till your teeth break. I'm sorry, is this too romantic for you?

Hit the jump for two more shots showing how the device works.

Continue Reading " That's No Ordinary Ruler!: It's Electronic "

Jul 24 2009 The Casting Couch: Super Mario Villains

As you may very well know, God invented Fridays for leaving work early and logging as much Youtube time as possible while you are in the office. And he sent me here to help. I AM A WARRIOR FOR HEAVEN. Or, from heaven. Ladies? I have wings AND a bow and arrow! *twang* Your heart, it's mine now.

Anyway, this is a video of Mario and the gang holding a casting call for Super Mario Bros. villains. It's not really laugh out loud material, but I thought it was pretty cute and well made. Plus, it's over 7 minutes long, so that's 7 minutes less you'll have to work. Now you may be wondering, "why the hell is the GW posting a video from 2007?" And the answer to that, dear reader, is LOOK BEHIND YOU, NAKED STUFF!

Youtube

Thanks to Rachael, who needs to learn how to send a tip and not just post stuff on her Facebook page. PREPARE TO BE SPANKED.

Jul 24 2009 Hello Kitty Stormtrooper Spotted At Comic Con

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Because it's Friday, I'm making two Star Wars posts in a row and you are going to like it. Go on, admit it -- you like it. I KNEW IT! I'm telling everybody. Also, that you're a terrible kisser.

When people with booths at the Comic Con decide that making a pink Hello Kitty stormtrooper is a good idea, there is no doubt that the evil feline has clawed her way into the imagination of far too many people for the the world to be safe.

I don't know, I kind of like it. And by kind of like it I mean you show up at my doorstep wearing that and I don't care if you're swinging a Bantha-sized lightsaber between your legs, I AM ALL SYSTEMS GO.

Hello Kitty Pink Stormtrooper [hellokittyhell]

Thanks to towhee, who just wishes it came with a gun.

Jul 24 2009 Sleepover Time!: Imperial Walker Bunk Bed

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Some guy went and built his son an AT-AT themed bunk bed. And by themed I mean it's actually an AT-AT. It almost makes me wish I had had a custom bunk bed growing up. But sleeping in the garage clutching a gas can builds character, right? THEN WHY AM I STILL ONLY A LEVEL 2 BLOGGER?!

Dad Builds Imperial Walker Bed for Himself His Son [gizmodo]

Jul 23 2009 Good Times: Librarian Book Cart Competition

This is a video of the winners from the American Library Association's Book Cart Drill Team World Championship. I'm not even kidding. I AM ADULTING.

The secret lives of librarians took center stage at the American Library Association's annual conference earlier this month. There was dancing, there were costumes, there was music, and, of course, there were book carts.


Teams bring acrobatic splits, book cart headlights, and dry ice effects to the floor in the quest to win first place and the coveted gold book cart trophy that comes with it. "It changes the whole image of librarians," added Ison.

Needless to say, this is some of the sexiest footage I've seen IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. And I used to judge the Geriatric Olympics, so I know my stuff.

Hit the jump for the second and third place winners.

Continue Reading " Good Times: Librarian Book Cart Competition "

Jul 23 2009 By Popular Demand: Novelty Eagle Heads

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Due to to the excessive interest in the novelty eagle heads available in Ghetto Baskets, Geekologie loyalist Pew³ managed to track down some relatively inexpensive ($5.68) ones for all your bird head needs. Per the review I just wrote and submitted:

By far one of the best novelty eagle heads I've owned. The beak is yellowish, I swear the eyes follow me around the room and it's plumage cascades down the rocks like a waterfall. 4.33 (repeating of course) out of 5 CAWS. CAW CAW CAW CAW C!

Wow, I should really write product descriptions. Also, romance novels. So a dinosaur walks into a bar....

Product Site

Thanks to Pew³, who knows a quality resin eagle head when he sees one.

Jul 23 2009 Solar Powered Gadget Charging Wi-Fi Flowers

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Toyota, in a ploy to sell more Priuses (Priusi?), is installing these solar-powered, gadget charging Wi-Fi stations in a select few U.S. cities (Boston, New York, Chicago, Seattle, San Francisco, and Los Angeles). Unfortunately, I don't live in any of those cities so I'm going to continue stealing my neighbor's electricity. Isn't that right, Mr. Lendoff? I said your yard looks great!

Toyota Unleashes Giant Solar-Powered Flowers On Unsuspecting Cities [ecorazzi]

Thanks to Spikey DaPikey, who charges his gadgets the old fashioned way -- with unicorn tears.

Jul 23 2009 Quick, I Need A Shovel!: Some Dinosaurs May Have Burrowed Underground In Cold Weather

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In steamy dinosaur news, paleontologists now believe that several different species of dinosaur may have sought refuge underground in cold weather.

The world's oldest known dinosaur burrow, recently discovered on the southeast coast of Australia, suggests that some dinos went underground to escape extreme weather.


The burrow is strikingly similar to another one found in Montana in 2005, which held the remains of a 96-million-year-old dinosaur family.

"Right now burrowing dinosaurs might look like an exception to the rule," he said. "But I wouldn't be surprised if more species [dug burrows]. Ten years from now it might be considered commonplace."

Now I'm not saying I just dug a hole to China trying to find a hibernating dinosaur, but I am riding in a rickshaw and we did just hit a flying cat.

Dinos Burrowed Underground In Cold Weather [neatorama]

Thanks to Matt, who is training one of those truffle-sniffing pigs to find dinosaur burrows.

Jul 23 2009 Tour Guide/Rent-A-Cop Robot Eats Children

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Okay, so maybe it doesn't. OR AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT THEY'D HAVE YOU BELIEVE. The Alsok Guard Robot D1 is being put to use in Fukuoka, Japan as tour guide/guard/monster piece of suck. Damn I'm good with the news!

The area's tourist attraction known as Canal City opted to use the decidedly cute and human-friendly services of a Alsok's Guard Robot D1.


In the daytime the robot functions as a kind of tour guide, offering website information and communication in Japanese, English, Chinese and Korean. At night the robot functions as a security guard, ready to alert authorities in case of trouble.

Not to start any wild rumors or anything, but I heard it touched a kid. BURN IT WITH FIRE!

Hit the jump for a video of the monster waste of money.

Continue Reading " Tour Guide/Rent-A-Cop Robot Eats Children "

Jul 23 2009 Kill Me Now: Star Wars Dance Contest Uncut

This is an uncut video of the Star Wars Weekends dance contest that we saw part of yesterday. Except, instead of 47 seconds, this one is 12 minutes. Personally, I could only make it to 1:50, when the woman says "Give it up for Chewbacca, the original gangstaaa!". Although, admittedly, I did skip around after to see if Leia makes an appearance in a golden bikini (she doesn't). So yeah, I dare you to try to watch the whole thing without putting your face through your monitor...
...
...
You broke your nose, didn't you?

Youtube

Thanks to Vince, who knows how to cut a rug. With scissors, silly!

Jul 23 2009 Video Game Bling: The Halo Ring

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Typically I don't wear jewelry (just makeup) but I would make an exception for this Master Chief ring. The $180 finger cuff even has the Halo 3 emblem inscribed on the inside. Plus, if you punch somebody in the face hard enough you'll leave them with a little Spartan helmet indentation. And that, my friend, is *POW* Haha -- consider yourself chiefed, sucker!

This Halo Ring is Bling [gadgetcrave]

Thanks to Clark, who says whenever he sees Master Chief he thinks of me. And not just because you never see my face. I'm a great leader too, you know.

Jul 22 2009 Neato: Human Bodies Produce Visible Light

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Thats right folks, the human body actually produces visible light -- and not just if you live under power lines! Unfortunately, it's not visible to us because it's 1,000 times weaker than our eyes can detect.

The human body literally glows, emitting a visible light in extremely small quantities at levels that rise and fall with the day, scientists now reveal.


In fact, virtually all living creatures emit very weak light, which is thought to be a byproduct of biochemical reactions involving free radicals.

The researchers found the body glow rose and fell over the day, with its lowest point at 10 a.m. and its peak at 4 p.m., dropping gradually after that. These findings suggest there is light emission linked to our body clocks, most likely due to how our metabolic rhythms fluctuate over the course of the day.

Oh man, I remember the first time I glowed. It was right after I made out with the Hulk a hot young lady. Kidding, it was a nuclear reactor. What do you say -- uranium rod me one more time for old time's sake? Think about it.

Strange! Humans Glow in Visible Light
[yahoonews]

Thanks to Sean, catch22, FDSY, Erin and Watch-303, who glow particularly dull because they've eaten too many lead-based paint chips.

Jul 22 2009 TASER TASER TASER!: New Taser Shoots Three Probes For Zapping Multiple Perps

The TASER X3 is just that, a taser that shoots three separate probes for shocking several victims at once. Or, fire them all into one perp and watch that sucker light up like a Christmas tree!

The new weapon will be officially unveiled on July 27th, but in anticipation of that glorious day, TASER has kindly posted an employee demonstration video of shooting three entirely underpaid women in the back, to the applause of onlookers.

Yes, women. And yes, the guy yells TASER TASER TASER before blasting them all. Which, apparently, is the cool thing to do. Now I'm not saying I could have taken all three shots and still been standing, but I totally could have. Hell, I could have probably taken five. No, ten. Twenty! GIMME THE CHAIR!

Triple-shot TASER X3 imminent, deranged employees celebrate with mock executions [engadget]

Thanks to Julian and michelle, who could take like fifteen shots and still punch you in the face.

Jul 22 2009 Robot Built To Model Wedding Dresses

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'Miimu', a HRP-4C robot, is seen here being utilized as a runway model for Japanese fashion designer Yumi Katsura's line of bridal gowns. And, since I know women so well, I'll give you men a little insight into how their minds work.

"I really love this dress -- but how would it look on a robot?"
Which brings up another disconcerting thought -- robot marriage. And you know what's sad? They'll probably allow unholy robotic matrimony before gay marriage. And that, my friends, makes me want to blow up the moon. And I don't even care if it's delicious cheese.


It's a nice day for a robot wedding [metro]

Thanks to Doctor Steel and Graf Zeppelin, who together form Doctor Graf Steel Zeppelin, which, you know, is pretty cool.

Jul 22 2009 Ethicists Demand New Laws For Robots

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Robot-ethicists are demanding a retuning of Asimov's laws of robotics, which they believe are too simple and do not take into account just how badly robots want to kill us all.

"If you build artificial intelligence but don't think about its moral sense or create a conscious sense that feels regret for doing something wrong, then technically it is a psychopath," says Josh Hall, a scientist who wrote the book Beyond AI: Creating the Conscience of a Machine.


Accordingly, robo-ethicists want to develop a set of guidelines that could outline how to punish a robot, decide who regulates them and even create a "legal machine language" that could help police the next generation of intelligent automated devices.

Wow, psychopathic robots -- I didn't see that coming. And by didn't see that coming I mean I'VE BEEN TRYING TO WARN YOU FOREVER. Also, you're on fire. Now stop, drop and get the hell out of my office -- I'm in the middle of a very important business call. Now, where were we, sexy? Oooooh, right -- now CAW like a Pterodactyl for me.

Robo-Ethicists Want to Revamp Asimov's 3 Laws [wired]

Thanks to roikles, Andy, danny g, Patrick and NetSerk, who think rule one of robotics should be we do not talk about robotics.

Jul 22 2009 Sadness: Lost iPhone Prototype Drives Chinese Factory Worker To Suicide

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And in a bit of sad news, a Chinese factory worker jumped to his death after losing track of an iPhone prototype he was responsible for shipping to Apple.

The dead worker, Sun Danyong, 25, worked in product communications at Foxconn Technology Group, a Taiwanese firm that makes many Apple products at a massive factory in the southern city of Shenzhen, near Hong Kong.


Sun was responsible for sending iPhone prototypes to Apple, and on July 13 he reported that he was missing one of the 16 fourth-generation units in his possession, the newspaper reported. His friends said company security guards searched his apartment, detained him and beat him, the paper reported.

Apple Inc. responded Wednesday by saying its suppliers are required to treat workers with dignity and respect.

Blood phones, just sayin'.

Chinese Worker Kills Self Over Missing iPhone [foxnews]

Thanks to Gino, who would have just burned the factory to the ground to cover up the loss. Smart thinking.

Jul 22 2009 Extreme Nutjob Skates Down Roller Coaster

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German extreme sportster Dirk Auer strapped on a pair of specially designed lollerblades and, with roflcopter hovering overhead (but not really), skated down a roller coaster at a German amusement park. He undoubtedly soiled his speedsuit.

Spending two months planning the outrageous stunt, Mr Auer also designed and made the monster skates, which took him a total of 110 hours' work.


Mr Auer, from Gross-Gerau near Frankfurt, is considered to be the most extreme in-line skater in the world.

He already holds the world record for reaching speeds of 190mph as he was dragged along behind a Porsche GT2.

Travelling at speeds up to 56mph, Auer skated the entire length of the roller coaster - 860 metres (~2820 feet) - in just over a minute.

Nice one, Dirk, but I could have done it in under a minute. BECAUSE I WOULDN'T USE THE BRAKES. Brakes, like crash helmets, are for unprofessionals and children. Did I? I did -- consider the gauntlet thrown! Now, take off those silly skates and fight like a man.

Hit the jump for several more shots and a video of the WHEEEEEEEEE!

Continue Reading " Extreme Nutjob Skates Down Roller Coaster "

Jul 22 2009 Wrong: Darth Vader Dancing To MC Hammer

Adding more delicious gasoline to my 'must sue Disney' fire, here's Darth Vader and a few stormtroopers dancing to MC Hammer's 'You Can't Touch This' at the Star Wars Weekends event at one of the theme parks. It pretty much desecrated my entire childhood in 47 seconds. And did anybody else feel the move Darth performed at 0:13 was a little inappropriate for children? Because I felt awkward and I'm just laying in bed watching this on Youtube.

Youtube

Thanks to Adam, Mindy and Mark, who can touch this. Go on, don't be afraid.

Jul 22 2009 That's Geeky: Poster Of Computer Hardware

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This is a poster of computer hardware designed by deviantART user Sonic480. Since it's kind of small, you can see a full size version HERE. Then, print it out and tack it to the ceiling above your bed. Move over, Megan Fox, there's a new poster in town my room. Just look at those CPU sockets -- YOW YOW!

The Computer Hardware Chart Identifies Your PC's Parts [lifehacker]

Thanks again to GreenBoss, who once beat FuchsiaBoss in a silicon chip eating contest.

Jul 21 2009 Brand Keyboard Replaces Letters With Logos

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The Brand Keyboard, designed by Ignacio Pilotto, has logos instead of letters on all the keys. That's neat.

BRANDS : Adidas - Burger king - Coca Cola - Disney - Ebay - Facebook - Google - Hp - Intel - J&b - Kodak - Lacoste - Mac donald´s - Nike - O2 - Pepsi - Quaker - Rolling stone - Shell - Twitter - Unilever - Virgin - WordPress - Xerox - You tube - Zippo


The repetition of the logos used by the advertising psychology, causes us to systematically recognize the brands, getting us to recognize the logos rather than our own alphabet.

Psychology, I love psychology. One time I brainwashed a whole craft room full of senior citizens into thinking I was Jesus, then demanded a tithe. Whee! Next stop: hell.

The Brand Keyboard [geekygadgets]

Thanks to GreenBoss, who controls his rainbow of minions from his throne in the Emerald City.

Jul 21 2009 Finish Him!: Little Kid Versus Clone Trooper

This is a video of a unisex little kid beating a clone trooper in the head with a fake lightsaber. It's pretty much the awesomest thing I've seen all day minus my neighbor taking a naked shower with the garden hose. He's hairier than I would have guessed.

Youtube

Thanks to alex, who once laser blasted a stormtrooper but the beam ricocheted off his armor and now alex has to wear an eyepatch. YAAAR!

Jul 21 2009 Magical: This Three Keyboard Cat Moon Shirt

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If the 3 Wolf Moon Shirt was magical, imagine the spells you'll be able to cast with this $20 3 Keyboard Cat Moon Shirt! I mean, it combines the sorcery of the 3 wolf moon shirt AND keyboard cat. Rumor has it, the shirt is so powerful it brought somebody's grandmother back to life and got her pregnant. Seriously, I'm not making this up. Yes I am. It was actually somebody's grandfather. Play me off, keyboard cat!

Product Site

Thanks to Travis, who once wore a 3 Keyboard Cat Moon shirt to a concert and got to sing with the band on stage.

Jul 21 2009 Guy Huffs Gas, Gets Tasered, Catches Fire

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In a tale of spontaneous human combustion, a man who had been huffing gasoline (real Transformers drink it) was tasered by police and went up in a ball of flames. Sweeeeeet.

Police said they were responding to a complaint at a house when (36-year old Ronald) Mitchell ran outside carrying a cigarette lighter and a plastic bottle containing what they believed was fuel.


When he refused to stop running towards them, one officer Tasered him, police said.

The man was immediately engulfed in flames, but the officer threw him to the ground and smothered the blaze with his hands, the statement said.

Mitchell was charged with assault to prevent arrest and possession of a sniffing substance.

An 18-year-old woman threw rocks at the officer as he tried to help and he was later treated for a cut on his head and burns to his hands, police said.

Ha, that chick brought rocks to a taser fight, what an idiot. And also, am I gonna get arrested for possession of a sniffing substance for this can of gasoline? Because, sorry coppers, that ain't happening! *glug glug glug glug glug* Transform and 7x7 is 35!

Tasered 'Petrol-Sniffer' Bursts Into Flames [yahoonews]

Thanks to Thumperchica, Justin, Jon, Stephen and Ptentacle, who wanted to roast marshmallows on him.

Jul 21 2009 American Robots Are Celebrating Today

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Be quiet for a second. You hear that? It's your Roomba singing "Oh Happy Day" because today marks the 25th anniversary of the first robotic death in the United States. That's right -- on July 21st, 1984, a factory worker was crushed to death by a robot in Jackson, Michigan. A moment of silence, please. Now, a moment of yelling. I HATE YOU YOU STUPID METALLIC ASSASSINS I WANT YOU ALL TO DIIIIIIIIIE! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE, GHAAAAAAA!!! Okay, so I think I just popped a blood vessel. Also, a boner. Yelling makes me so hot!

July 21 [wordiq]

Thanks to Mike, who will be holding a candlelight vigil/Roomba burning party/kegger tonight in honor of the first U.S. victim.

Jul 21 2009 Blue Beer From Melted Icebergs, Seaweed

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The Japanese, in their unending quest to make the awesomest stuff on the planet (minus robots), are manufacturing blue beer made from melted icebergs (take that you Titanic sinking bitch!). And, not to toot my own horn or anything, but I have already had colored beer on St. Patty's day before. It made my throw up green!

Okhotsk Blue Draft stands out for its cool color and interesting (yet not off-putting) ingredients. The brew is made using water melted from icebergs that float each year onto Hokkaido beaches from the chilly Sea of Okhotsk, an arm of the North Pacific ocean bordered by Japan and Russia.


Then Abashiri went one step further and used seaweed to give their brew and icy blue tint. Perhaps not the greatest selling point but it does make Okhotsk Blue look, well, different. As for the taste... reports state that Ryuho isn't at all bad as beers go, and if you didn't know there was seaweed in it, you likely wouldn't guess there was.

Abashiri also manufactures red and green beers (picture after the jump) because, honestly, what better way to teach your children their colors? Son, fetch daddy another purple one. I said purple, this is blue -- YOU WILL NEVER BE A PAINTER!

Hit the jump for a shot of the other colors and a commercial for the beer.

Continue Reading " Blue Beer From Melted Icebergs, Seaweed "

Jul 21 2009 Simple Enough: Mario Mushroom Radishes

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They're mushrooms made from radishes. Now marinate on the depth of what I just said for a second. Still with me? *wheezing* Damn, I thought I lost you. Anyway, these power up mushroom radishes were made by video game themed bento maker extraordinaire, Anna The Red. Pretty simple, huh? Now I know what you're thinking, "Pfft, I could do that". But you're wrong. Remember what happened the last time you tried to use a knife? You almost lost your penis, didn't you? The prosecution rests.

Cooking with Anna the Red: Mario mushrooms from regular radishes [offworld]

Thanks to towhee, who can knows you gotta do the cookin' by the book.

Jul 21 2009 Luke, Help Me Find My Keys: The Lightsaber Flashlight

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This $25 flashlight is a replica of Darth Vader's lightsaber and sports 4 red LEDs. It's powered by the dark side 3 AAA batteries and is perfect for walking the dog or finding your eyeglasses in a flower bed. It is not perfect for fighting the forces of good. Because the forces of good carry tasers and won't hesitate to use them. TASERED!

Lightsaber flashlight cuts through the darkness [dvice]

Thanks to FDSY, who once brained the forces of evil with a Maglite.

Jul 20 2009 Chicago Bulls/Robotic Death Army Conspiracy

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Let's not kid ourselves, robots are going to to take over the planet and only farm us for use as bio-fuel and cage fighters. And, apparently there has been arobotic conspiracy involving the Chicago Bulls logo for some time. And to think, I used to want to be like Mike.

When I was a child, someone showed me the Chicago Bulls logo, upside down, and pointed out that it was, in fact, a robot sitting on a park bench reading the bible. My little mind was blown. 20 plus years later, I look at the logo and no longer see the bull. Just an upside down robot priest...


Why are they doing this? What do these robot overlords want from us? Please, America. Rise up against the cybernetic oppressors before it's too late!

Finally, somebody talking some sense! It's times like these when I know, despite all you naysayers, that I'm not alone. Although, sometimes, I wish I was. Seriously bro, a man needs some private time. Now toss me that National Geographic on your way out, will you? Not that one, the other one. Yeah, with the dino on the cover.

The Chicago Bulls Logo Conspiracy
[rationalreality]

Thanks to b00m, who suspects the Celtics logo was created by the Illuminati to help control sports fans.

Jul 20 2009 What Led Up To The WoW Freak Out Video

Allegedly this is the footage that led up to the infamous World of Warcraft freak-out video. Basically, kid has a dick for a brother and some serious anger management issues. Now I'm not saying he has serial killer written all over him, but he did try to sodomize himself with a remote in a fit of rage. Which I do, and I'm no serial killer. So I think he'll be okay.

Youtube

Thanks to chrissy mc poopypantsbaconlover, who might want to lay off the bacon for awhile. I kid, totally worth it.

Continue Reading " What Led Up To The WoW Freak Out Video "

Jul 20 2009 I Would Never Leave: The Hi-Can Luxury Bed

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The Hi-Can luxury bed has everything you've ever wanted in a bed minus a bathroom and snack bar. Oh, and dancing pole. I like to strip myself to sleep.

A theater screen pulls down at the foot of the bed for viewing television or movies. An integrated personal computer system means you can work or surf the web in bed as well. Game consoles are built in for added entertainment value. Lights for reading and shades for sleeping are also fully integrated.

Eh, it's a little too weird looking for my taste. Besides, I've been sleeping on a pile of clothes for the past two years and, quite frankly, I think your mom likes it just fine. BU-BU-BU-BURN! But seriously, wonderful lady.

Hit the jump for a couple more shots and a brief video.

Continue Reading " I Would Never Leave: The Hi-Can Luxury Bed "

Jul 20 2009 Found Her!: Carmen Sandiego Spotted In Wild

carmen-sandiego.jpg

I swear this is old, but honestly, that's never stopped me from posting anything in the past, so why stop now? I'M RUNNING THIS RED LIGHT! Anyway, the law finally caught up with Carmen Sandiego at an undisclosed airport. And as you can see, she hasn't aged as well as I was hoping. Remember when Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? first came out and your friend convinced you if you beat the game 200 times you got to see her naked? Yeah, I know all my world capitals.

Carmen Sandiego Has Been Found! [geekstir]

Thanks to Joemo, who once found a Carmen Sandiego shaped barbecue chip but accidentally broke it before he could sell it on eBay.

Jul 20 2009 N64 Mod Looks Like Super Mario 64 Castle

mario-n64-1.jpg

Some guy went and modded an N64 to look like Princess Peach's castle from Super Mario 64. I think he used modeling clay or something. Anyway, it sold on eBay for a cool Eisenhower Franklin. That's $100 for those of you who have never seen one.

Up for auction is a hand-designed custom Nintendo 64 made to look like Peach's Castle from Super Mario 64. The exterior of the castle has been molded to look like the bricks and roof tiles, then painted. The mural of Princess Peach is a very detailed mosaic and the five flags are made of cloth. The top part of the castle is removable so you can put a game cartridge inside when you need to.

Yeah well what if I don't wanna put a game cartridge inside? What if I want to jam a piece of bread in there? "That isn't a toaster, GW!" SHUT UP I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING! Now, why is my bread still cold?

Hit the jump for a couple more pictures, including a closeup of the mosaic.

Continue Reading " N64 Mod Looks Like Super Mario 64 Castle "

Jul 20 2009 Kid Drinks Gasoline To Be Like Transformer

transformer-fan.JPG

Some 14-year old kid in China has been drinking gasoline since he was 9 to become more like a Transformer. Unfortunately, he's become more like an idiot moron.

The youngster was so impressed that he began drinking fuel on a daily basis to "obtain energy" and become a mighty warrior like the Transformers.


"Since my son start to drink gas, his intelligence quotient dropped sharply and he couldn't figure out addition and subtraction of sums within 100," the father said. "Before that, he was a very smart boy, and he could even repair the television. But now he doesn't know the answer of 7 plus 17."

To the boy's credit, I don't know what 7 plus 17 is either (87?). Still, I love the smell of gasoline as much as the next guy, but actually drinking it? That's just crazy talk. I love robots. So was that.

Transformers fan drank gasoline to gain energy [russiatoday]
via
Optimus Prime Cocktail [runawaytheologian]

Thanks to Anthony, who once drank bleach to be more like a washing machine.

Jul 20 2009 Wrong: Creating Advertisements On The Moon

The natural satellite burglars over at Moon Publicity want to create ads on the moon by using robots that can draw in the dust. The whole idea has several problems. 1. robots and 2. ADVERTISING ON THE MOON. Like the aliens don't already hate us enough.

WEST VALLEY CITY, Utah, July 20 /PRNewswire/ -- It's one giant leap for robot-kind. New Shadow Shaping technology creates images on the Moon that can be seen from Earth. Robots are used to create several small ridges in the lunar dust over large areas that capture shadows and shape them to form logos, domains names, memorials or even portraits. Talk about the Man in the Moon! You can even carve your initials in a heart to impress your sweetheart.

As outerspace-y as I am, I just can't approve of etching a bunch of shit in the moon. I mean, it's like a landmark, you know? That would be like giving the Washington Monument a giant pair of balls, which, okay that would be cool.

Idiots Want Robots to Draw Ads On the Moon's Surface [gizmodo]

Thanks to Julian, who agrees GEEKOLOGIE.COM is pretty much the only thing cool enough to belong on the moon.

Jul 20 2009 EATR Robot NOT Designed To Eat Dead Bodies, Or, How A Company Backpedals

EATR.jpg

Cyclone Power Technologies, the company behind the Energetically Autonomous Tactical Robot (EATR), denies that it was designed to dine on human corpses. Obviously, they're lying through their oil-stained, robot loving teeth.

"We completely understand the public's concern about futuristic robots feeding on the human population, but that is not our mission," said Harry Schoell, CEO of Cyclone Power Technologies. "We are focused on demonstrating that our engines can create usable, green power from plentiful, renewable plant matter."

Let me tell you a little personal story: I used to be vegetarian. Now I eat the hell out of some meat. Draw your own conclusion.

Darpa's Self-Feeding Sentry Robot is Not a Man-Eater, Company Protests
[popsci]

Thanks to Rodger and Charles, who know what the future holds because they both have crystal balls. Be careful bicycling, guys.

Jul 19 2009 Hot Dog!: Weinermobile Crashes Into Home

weiner-noooooooo!.jpg

One of the iconic Oscar Meyer Wienermobiles crashed into a Wisconsin home on Friday, following a failed turn-around.

Police say the driver was trying to turn the Wienermobile around in the driveway and thought she was moving in reverse. But she instead went forward and hit the home. It sat in the driveway as if it were stuck in the garage Friday afternoon.

Ha, women. I can't believe we still issue them licenses. But seriously, if any of you ladies need a hot dog parked in your garage, call me. I'm sensitive to a woman's needs.

Wienermobile Crashes Into Wisconsin Home [foxnews]

Thanks to Dustin, FDSY, Masami and phil, who prefer to park it around back.

Jul 19 2009 Deep Roots: The Mario Game Family Tree

mario-lineage.jpg

This is a depiction of all Mario games in the style of a family tree. Obviously, there aren't only ten games, so click HERE to see the super-ultra-high-res joint with all 130+ games. Fun fact: I was born in the same hospital by the same doctor as my father. So, yeah. I swear, it's like we've known each other our whole lives, you and I. Want to hold hands? Okay, but I've got to warn you: mine's hairy sweaty.

Mario Family Line [limitbreak]

Thanks to em.monster, who puts Nessie to shame. And to Kalutika, who fell from the tree of beauty.

Jul 19 2009 eBay: Piece Of Film From Original Star Trek

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Want to own a piece of Star Trek that you can wear around the house like a boa? Then you're in luck, because a man is selling an 11-foot piece of film from the "Mirror, Mirror" episode of the original Star Trek series.

This is a unique, one-of-a-kind item. I was an assistant film editor on the original series of Star Trek and this is an original section of film that came right out of the camera after shooting. This is from the episode "Mirror, Mirror" which aired October 6, 1967. The clipping is 11 feet 7 frames long, about 183 frames total. Pictured on the film is Chekov (Walter Koenig) when he is foiled in his attempt to kill Captain Kirk. The clip follows the fight sequence and includes two different phaser blasts which were hand scribed by me back in 1969.

Starting bid is $500, and I wouldn't be surprised if this ended up selling for a pretty penny. Or a handsome quarter. You hear that? Better luck next time you busted ass nickel!

eBay Auction

Thanks to Sigrid, who doesn't need a phaser to know how to rock pew.

Jul 18 2009 Yay!: Element 112 Finally Gets Official Name

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That's right folks, the recently recreated element 112, which was temporarily known as Ununbium, has finally got it's official name. And it is, drumroll please....Copernicium! Named after Nicolaus Copernicus (who may or may not be the lovechild of Michael Phelps and Andy Samberg), the decision was a throwback to honor one of the world's greatest wizards (suck it, Harry!).

By choosing to honor the father of the heliocentric solar system, element 112 discovery team leader Sigurd Hofmann wanted to avoid the divisive names selected for past elements, salute an influential scientist who didn't receive any accolades in his own lifetime, and highlight the link between astronomy and Hofmann's own field of nuclear chemistry.


The idea was to go backwards, to honor someone who was not greatly honored in his lifetime," said Hofmann. "[Copernicus] had to be very careful when he was publishing his works. His book was published the day of his death. He was afraid to make his announcements during his lifetime, so he wasn't honored when he was alive."

Ironically, Popular Science, the website where I got the story, erroneously called the new element Copernicum, which is something entirely different. Oh yeah baby, talk retrograde to me.

Newly Discovered Element 112 Named "Copernicum"
[popsci]

Thanks to Ari, who, despite a valiant effort, didn't get enough signatures on the petition to name the element Geekologyn.

Jul 18 2009 Dark Knight Motorcycle Gear Coming Soon

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Want a replica of Batman's motorcycle outfit from The Dark Knight to sport on your own crotch rocket? Well get excited, because Universal Designs is about to release them for an undisclosed sum of money. Sorry Robin, but you're still riding bitch.

An Officially Licensed Replica Like No Other is Coming.


- Strong Cordura Mesh Base with Heavy-duty 4 way stretch Spandex
- Removable CE Approved Body Armor in both Jacket and Pants
- Highly detailed, removable lightweight interior lining.
- Form Molded Leather and Kevlar Armor Sections.
- Made from Quality Tanned Cow Hides

No word on cost or when they're actually dropping but THESE THINGS ARE HOT! Unfortunately, my mom won't let me get a motorcycle because she says their too dangerous and she hasn't even removed the training wheels on my bicycle yet. So, give it to me straight: think I'll still be able to pedal in those pants? And, more importantly: would you ride in my basket? Come on -- I'll let you ring the bell!

Product Site

Thanks to Skroonk, Davie B and FDSY, who have all danced with the devil in the pale moonlight -- and looked up his skirt.

Jul 18 2009 Do Or Do Not, There Is No Try: Geekologie Reader Spots Yoda Shaggin' Wagon

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Geekologie Reader Dustin spotted this Yoda themed shaggin' wagon driving around in the wild and snapped a few pictures with his iPhone. Good lookin', Dustin. But seriously, next time keep both hands on the wheel. I kid, I kid, that's why God invented knees.

Hit the jump for two more shots of the van that attracts Star Wars cosplay girls like moths to a flame.

Continue Reading " Do Or Do Not, There Is No Try: Geekologie Reader Spots Yoda Shaggin' Wagon "

Jul 17 2009 Great Gifts On A Budget: Ghetto Baskets

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Ghetto Baskets are gift baskets packed chock-full of stuff you can buy at your local convenience store. The standard Ghetto Basket costs $39, and the Ghetto Fabulous basket $46 (comes with a bow).

You never know exactly what each Ghetto Basket will include. It all depends on our shaky contacts and what falls off of trucks around the neighborhood. But it might have:


Hot Sauce, Pregnancy Test, Grape Drink, Batteries, Beef Jerky, Potted Meay, Pork Rinds, Noodles in a Cup, After Shave, Plastic Commemorative Plate, Religious Candle, Porcelain Figurine, Kung-Fu DVD, Cassette or VHS Tape, Doo Rag, Vapor Rub, Energy Drank, Soap, Outdated Calendar

Each basket comes lovingly packed in an aluminum baking pan and is sure to do disappoint its recipient. Alternatively, assemble your own basket for $14 and just tell the giftee you paid $40 at a novelty website. Now that's ghetto!

Product Site

Thanks samual and chris, your pregnancy tests are in the mail. And no, I didn't already use them (of course I did).

Jul 17 2009 I Smell A Wedgie Coming: Resident Evil Shirts

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This Resident Evil shirt was made to promote the upcoming Resident Evil: The Darkside Chronicles and will be distributed at the upcoming San Diego Comic Con next weekend.

Well, since Darkside Chronicles is an M-Rated title, we have to have an area where only 17+ are allowed. We figured if we had to be enclosed; we might as well deck out the room and give you an awesome experience playing the game. We are going to have two separate rooms to show off the game, both dark and air conditioned, and each come equipped with banging sound systems.


All you have to do is bring a friend, play through one of the levels in co-op mode, and then you and your partner get to walk away with your very own zombie shirt. Simple.

Neat. Just be careful rocking zombie mode in public, because I, for one, won't hesitate to brain you with a shovel. Brain first, kick corpses later. AND NO COPPING FEELS. This is the word of the Geekologie Writer.

Capcom Comic Con 09: Resident Evil: The Darkside Chronicles [capcom]

Thanks to Jonah, towhee and meeotch, who are all elite zombie hunters sent back from the future to....oh my God you're robots.

Jul 17 2009 iBum Chair: Ladies, Please -- Have A Seat

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The iBum Chair by Tomomi Sayuda is a photocopier built into a chair. It might just be the best chair ever invented. The question is: do they make an office model? My secretary hopes not.

...chair will automatically photocopy your ass, when you sit this chair. When audience sit down on the chair, a scanner on the top of chair to scan people's buttocks automatically. Then the scanned image is printed out from the right hand side of the chair. A sensor is detecting people's existence all the time. So people will not realize the existence of the scanner. Without notice, the photocopy of the bum will arrive next to the chair.

Certainly brings new meaning to the phrase "casting couch chair", doesn't it? No, I guess it doesn't. You know, that sounded a lot better in my head. Along with your singing. YOU WILL NEVER BE A STAR!

Hit the jump for a video of the chair in action.

Continue Reading " iBum Chair: Ladies, Please -- Have A Seat "

Jul 17 2009 Cell Phone Lighter: For All Your Cancer Needs

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The SB6309 Lighter Phone isn't just the best named cellphone ever, it's also the first with a functional cigarette lighter. Brain AND lung cancers in one fell swoop! But seriously, mind if I do a J?

instruction


SB6309 The world's first mobile phone with lighter!
Patent product Gold cigarette lighter
Defend wind,
No gas,
Never blew out
Suit for high altitude areas

Well technically, those weren't instructions. They were, however, convincing. That's right -- you're looking at the first U.S. authorized dealer! Haha, now my garage is on fire.

Lighter phone may be the most dangerous cellphone ever [dvice]

Thanks to FDSY, who once went to a strip club where the strippers dipped their nipples in wax and you were allowed to light your cigarettes off them.

Jul 17 2009 Good Enough To Eat: Cheetos Lip Balm

cheetos-balm.jpg

Cheetos lip balm, it just makes sense. And by sense I mean your lips orange. Now swish some Dew around in your mouth and gimme kissies!

Would You Wear Cheetos Lip Balm? [lemondrop]

Thanks to The webcam in your monocle, who records whatever you see. Including in the shower. Provided you wear your monocle in the shower, which, pfft, who doesn't?

Jul 17 2009 Guy Gets Palm Pre Tattoo To Win Free Phone

Some jackass went and got a Palm Pre tattoo on his arm in an attempt to win a free phone. Wow, I don't even know what to say. Except, ZOMG -- I'm getting a Ferrari tat!

Youtube

Thanks to Brian, the actual tattoo artist, for at least giving the man a good looking Pre.

Jul 17 2009 WTF Is That!?: 12-Mile Biological Goo In Arctic

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A 12-mile long trail of unknown biological goo has been spotted off the coast of Alaska. Personally, it looks like robot love-oil to me (don't ask how I know). *ahem* I'm looking at you, Optimus.

"It's certainly biological," Hasenauer said. "It's definitely not an oil product of any kind. It has no characteristics of an oil, or a hazardous substance, for that matter.


"It's definitely, by the smell and the makeup of it, it's some sort of naturally occurring organic or otherwise marine organism."

"It's pitch black when it hits ice and it kind of discolors the ice and hangs off of it," Brower said. He saw some jellyfish tangled up in the stuff, and someone turned in what was left of a dead goose -- just bones and feathers -- to the borough's wildlife department.

ZOMG, it's the North Carolina sewer mutant's illegitimate older cousin! Now I'm not saying I want to deep fry some and include it in my Octo-taco-pancrepe-pizza, because I don't. But I would smear some all over your body and lick it off. God, am I romantic or what?

Hit the jump for a picture of a bucketful of the gunk.

Continue Reading " WTF Is That!?: 12-Mile Biological Goo In Arctic "

Jul 17 2009 Mmmm: Taco/Crepe/Pancake Stuffed Pizza

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Inspired by the "Taco Town" Saturday Night Live skit I haven't seen, this Pizza Crepe Taco Pancake belongs in my belly. Go on, get in there -- the tequila wants company.

The layers are a crunchy beef taco with nacho cheese, lettuce, tomato and a southwestern sauce; a soft flour tortilla covered with refried beans; a corn tortilla with Monterey Jack cheese; a deep-fried gordita shell with guacamole; a corn husk filled with pico de gallo; a crepe filled with egg, gruyere, merguez sausage and portobello mushrooms; a Chicago-style deep-dish meat lovers' pizza; and a blueberry pancake--all dipped in batter and deep-fried.

YES PLEASE! Except I want mine wrapped in a whole fried octopus. Mmmm, eight-legged chicken of the sea.

9 Stuffed-to-the-Brim Food Creations [womansday] (which I read religiously, hit the link to see a couple other heart-stopping concoctions not yet featured here)

Thanks to towhee, whose ass I'm gonna kick in a doughnut eating contest. I'm going for a baker's dozen, baby!

Jul 16 2009 Naked 'Terminator' Tased By Police In Nevada

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A Terminator sent back from the future has been tased and arrested by police in Nevada. Good lookin', boys in blue!

19-year-old Sean Stanley Smith was arrested on the Nevada border after he was spotted by a motorist wandering around the highway nude. He was ordered by police to stop but proceeded into a nearby casino - where he was then tasered in front of a group of children.


Smith claims he was a Terminator sent back in time from the future.

When questioned who he was sent back to kill, the Terminator responded, "The Geekologie Writer". Really buddy? TOO BAD I'M VACATIONING IN MIAMI YOU IDIOT MORON! Wait. Did I say Miami? I meant Manitoba. Shit.

Police arrest naked 'Terminator' [yahoo]

Thanks to Bubbles100, who wonders if he was packing more heat than the Naked Wizard.

Jul 16 2009 The Leidenfrost Effect, Or: How It's Okay To Stick Your Hand In A Can Of Liquid Nitrogen

Science is amazing. And I'm not just saying that because it's my only hope of cloning dinosaurs or inventing a time machine. Yes I am. But still, the Leidenfrost Effect is cool too.

The Leidenfrost effect is a phenomenon in which a liquid, in near contact with a mass significantly hotter than the liquid's boiling point, produces an insulating vapor layer which keeps that liquid from boiling rapidly. This is most commonly seen when cooking; one sprinkles drops of water in a skillet to gauge its temperature--if the skillet's temperature is at or above the Leidenfrost point, the water skitters across the metal and takes longer to evaporate than it would in a skillet that is above boiling temperature, but below the temperature of the Leidenfrost point. It has also been used in some dangerous demonstrations, such as dipping a wet finger in molten lead or blowing out a mouthful of liquid nitrogen, both enacted without injury to the demonstrator.

Well neato. If you don't like reading the guy in the video explains the whole Lederhosen effect and even demonstrates the water on a hot surface and dipping your hand in liquid nitrogen experiments. So, watch that while I run to the restroom.

Okay, now which one of you jokers filled the toilet bowl with liquid nitrogen? And, hypothetically, how long do you think it takes to thaw a frozen python? And, if using a microwave, should you use the defrost or popcorn button?

Youtube

Thanks to towhee, who, like all women, has a heart that pumps liquid nitrogen.

Jul 16 2009 Cosby Shots: Bill Cosby Portrait In Jell-O

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To celebrate Bill Cosby's birthday on July 12th, artist Andrew Salamone made a portrait of the comedian using Jell-O shots. Which, I think we can all agree, is a fitting tribute. Does he still do those commercials? Damn, now I want a Jell-O Pudding Pop. Do they still make those? Okay, so maybe I have been down in this robot shelter too long. I kid, I kid -- now somebody bring me some records for the gramophone.

Hit the jump for a couple more shots and a video of the portrait's transformation over the course of a night.

Continue Reading " Cosby Shots: Bill Cosby Portrait In Jell-O "

Jul 16 2009 Run Snoopy, Run!: Nightmarish Charlie Brown

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This is a painting of Charlie Brown by artist Tim O'Brien. Scary, no? I'm sorry if you're not gonna be able to sleep tonight, but I live by the mantra "if I had to see, so do you". Sweet dreams!

Also, for the hundreds of people who keep sending the "dead body eating robot" tip, I posted it earlier this week. I get depressed as hell when I get the same tip I posted a few days ago. *sniff* Don't you read regularly? YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME!

Tim O'Brien's Painting of Charlie Brown [agentmlovestacos]

Thanks to FDSY, who you can blame for not being able to sleep at night. And not just because he's hiding under your bed, but he is.

Jul 16 2009 Luke, I Am Your Dessert: Star Wars Cakes

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This is a little gallery of three different Star Wars cakes. These first two were created by Geekologie Reader doyouloveanapple (I do, I swear), and the Han Solo in carbonite cake after the jump was baked by Geekologie Reader Caro. I swear, you readers have such talent! And speaking of cake-baking talent: I have a birthday coming up next month. Now, who wants to bake my cake? And, more importantly, who wants to jump out of it?

Hit the jump to see the rest.

Continue Reading " Luke, I Am Your Dessert: Star Wars Cakes "

Jul 16 2009 Reptilian Death Machines: More Robot Snakes

Snakes are inherently scary because of their phallic form factor, so you can imagine how I feel about robot snakes. This frightening bastard, created at Carnegie Mellon (watch your back!), is capable of traversing a variety of terrain, including, and not just limited to: handrails and stripper poles. I'll tell you what though: first time I see a robotic snake on stage at the Beaver Bungalow, I'm burning that dam to the ground.

Carnegie Mellon's robotic snake stars in a glamour video [engadget]

Thanks to Chase is First and steve, who once screamed "ROBOTIC SNAKE!" in line at an amusement park and got to ride in the front of the coaster twice before people finally caught on.

Jul 16 2009 *Ring* Hello -- Death?: Novelty Skull Phone

skull-phone.jpg

I honestly thought novelty phones went out of style when people stopped using land lines, but hey, maybe your grandparents want a damn skull phone. That's cool. Just don't let them get on the interwebs lest they hand their life savings over to a Nigerian prince. Anyway, the $25 Thriller Skull Phone from Brando is available in white and metallic copper finishes and has blue LED eyes that light up when the phone is ringing. Sadly, it's not even cordless. WHO THE HELL STILL USES CORDED PHONES? Fun fact: I saw a payphone the other day. Did you know we still had those? Me neither. There was a hooker standing nearby and everything.

brando's thriller skull phone: so this is what happened to skeletor [technabob]

Thanks to FDSY and cakey, who make all their calls the old fashioned way: by yelling.

Jul 16 2009 The World's Most Perfectly Spherical Balls

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Meteorologists at Australia's Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organization have created the world's most perfectly spherical balls out of silicon. Next, breasts.

This is one of the two most perfect spheres ever. Exactly one kilogram--Imperial units be damned forever--smooth to the nearest 0.0000000003 meter (1.18110236 × 10-8 inches), and round to within 0.00000005 meters (1.96850394 × 10-6 inches).

Nice try guys, but I've been told more than once that I, in fact, have the nicest set in the galaxy. Back me up in the comments, ladies.*

*Any unflattering comments will be deleted. I'm looking at you, Carol. And you, Josh.

Hit the jump for one more shot.

Continue Reading " The World's Most Perfectly Spherical Balls "

Jul 15 2009 VISA Card Users Charged $23 Quadrillion

expensive-smokes.jpg

Several people rocking VISA prepaid credit cards got a peculiar $23,148,855,308,184,500 charge this week when using their VISA BUXX cards. That's 23 quadrillion dollars. To put that figure in layman's terms, it's almost double what I'm suing Disney for.

In New Hampshire, Josh Muszynski said he swiped his debit card at a gas station to buy a pack of cigarettes and when he later checked his account online found that he had been charged


In North Texas, Jon Seale saw the same 17-figure bill on his credit card statement, presumably for a meal July 13 at a restaurant owned by celebrity chef Wolfgang Puck.

Uh-oh -- I smell a Wolfgang Puck/big tobacco conspiracy. Rumor has it that dirty Austrian's been cooking with tommaco for years!

Visa card surprise: $23,148,855,308,184,500 [msnbc]

Thanks to Justin, Stephanie and debaser, who are now addicted to Wolfgang Puck brand pasta sauce.

Jul 15 2009 'Rad To The Power Of Sick' BMX Bike Actually (Successful) Experiment In Creative Marketing

That's right, the infamous 'Rad to the power of Sick' BMX bike ad on eBay was actually created by a couple guys doing an experiment (The Wicked Sick Project) to determine if some creative marketing could drive up an otherwise regular item's sale price. Obviously, it worked. And, keeping with today's theme of Geekologie's world domination, your favorite website makes a cameo in the video at 2:55. I guess what I'm getting at is this: WHERE'S MY CUT OF THE PROFITS YOU SONS OF BITCHES?! You think the booze that fuels Geekologie pays for itself? You think my girlfriend doesn't make me pay the water bill for staying with her? You think strippers tip themselves just because I'm handsome? Okay, the last one is actually true. Go ahead Savannah, give yourself another single -- you've earned it.

Youtube

Thanks to mike, whose bike horn alone is enough to get women pregnant.

Jul 15 2009 That's It, Disney -- Prepare To Be Sued!

disney-sue.jpg

Typically I don't post movie posters because that's IWatchStuff's job, but I'm making an exception in this case because DISNEY STOLE GEEKOLOGIE'S TAGLINE. You think you can just change "awesome" to "guinea pigs" (which, incidentally are a synonym for awesome) and get away with it? THINK AGAIN, YOU DIRTY RODENT! Now, which one of you wants to call Disney and pretend to be a lawyer? Somebody with a deep voice.

G-FORCE movie poster [disneydreaming]

Thanks to Ben, who pleads guilty to dead sexiness.

Jul 15 2009 Good Enough To Eat: These GummiLights

gummi-lamps.jpg

GummiLights are expensive rubber lamps designed to look like Gummi Bears. Unsurprisingly, I tried to eat one. Shocked? I was. I'll be here all week folks, make sure to tip your waitstaff.

These GummiLights are made of a translucent rubber and measure in at 7-inches tall. They're illuminated by brightly glowing LEDs and come in a variety of candy-like colors, including red, orange, yellow, clear, blue, purple and pink. Each one is powered by rechargeable lithium batteries, and can run for about 20 hours on a charge.

A single bear will set you back $125 or you can get a set of 5 for $500. But, if you want something that'll really light up the night, you're gonna need me. I'm so bright my parents call me son (I'm on a roll today, folks!). Also, "little shit" and "a terrible, terrible mistake". Anybody want to adopt a GW? I spoon.

gummi bear lamps are unfortunately not edible [technabob]

Jul 15 2009 Awesome: These Garage Door Covers

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Style Your Garage covers are printed tarps made to attach to your garage door to make it appear your garage is something it's not. For example, this one makes it look like you're running a rotisserie chicken business. But the fun doesn't stop there! Hit the jump to see a bunch of my other favorites, then head to the site to see a ton more. They all retail for about $275 and were made for one piece garage doors, but can be modified (read: cut) to fit on sectionals. And speaking of sectionals, my new couch has a chaise. Ladies? First to make me a sandwich can sit on it (until I'm full, then it's dishes time for you)!

Hit it to see some other cool ones.

Continue Reading " Awesome: These Garage Door Covers "

Jul 15 2009 Custom Star Wars Dolls Auctioned For Charity

star-wars-dolls.jpg

A bunch of Mighty Mugg vinyl dolls are being customized into Star Wars characters and auctioned off to raise money for the Make-A-Wish foundation. *sniff* Almost brings a tear to my eye. Almost. Thankfully I was able to punch back the tears. All man, baby. (I'm gonna need an ice-pack)

Artists, comic book creators, toy designers, and celebrity fans are getting out their markers, paint brushes and glue guns to transform blank Mighty Muggs into one-of-a-kind Star Wars art to be auctioned by The Make-A-Wish Foundation.


The final Mighty Muggs art pieces will be on display at San Diego Comic-Con and on StarWars.com. Each Mighty Mugg art piece will be auctioned off to raise money for The Make-A-Wish Foundation.

That's great. I really do dig these customizable dolls. I could never make a good one, but that's just because I've glued my hand to my genitals one too many times. Now I know what you're wondering, and since I love you, I'll be honest: Forty six.

The Empire Muggs Back: Art for a Mighty Good Cause [starwars]

Thanks to towhee, who once glued herself to a stripper pole trying to perform a trick. Pics or it didn't happen.

Jul 15 2009 Geekologie: Legit News Source Cited By CNN

This is the part of the day where I toot my own horn *BLAAAAAT!* because Geekologie is so awesome. So, you remember the post about the texting teen that fell into a manhole? Well CNN cited Geekologie (action is at 0:30) in a television news story about the incident. SHAZAM! Now who's a legitimate news source? This site. Oh, breaking story! -- Geekologie Writer named world's greatest lover. Run with it, CNN.

Texting Accidents: Running Into Posts, Tangled In Dog Leashes [huffingtonpost]

Thanks to Jonathan, who saw the report in the airport and nearly lost his luggage.

Jul 15 2009 It's Aliiiive!: Zombie SNES Mod Still Functional

zombie-snes-1.jpg

French modder skadrums71 went and busted up a Super Nintendo and modded it Frankenstein style into an undead console. Amazingly, it still works. Per my tipster's translation:

Of course it works! it would have been non-sense to mod it!! we can plug in and out the cartridge without any difficulties!! the power button can be moved without difficulties... nevertheless, the eject button is blocked (it was already blocked before the mod process and the reset button is doomed (just for fun)

Well that ain't bad! Of course, I don't know how I'd feel about having another cartridge eating zombie running around the house. I'm looking at you, zombie dog. Damnit, you're slobbering through your neck again.

Hit the jump for a bunch more shots, some with the lights off for full effect.

Continue Reading " It's Aliiiive!: Zombie SNES Mod Still Functional "

Jul 14 2009 Oldschool: Movies As Retro Book Covers

moviebook.jpg

In the same vein as the video games as old book covers comes this series of movies as old book covers by Flickr user spacesick. And let me tell you, it took everything I had not to put the Jurassic Park one on the front page. But, since it was a book already, I didn't include it. Of course, some of the others were probably books before movies as well and I'm such a stupid idiot that I included them and left out Jurassic Park. Forgive me, raptors, how can I ever make it up to you?! Maybe a little....no? Damnit, that plan sounded foolproof in my mind.

Hit the jump for some of my favorites, then the link for the whole massive Flickr gallery.

Continue Reading " Oldschool: Movies As Retro Book Covers "

Jul 14 2009 Blown Off The Throne: Toilet Paper Prank

I'd never seen this prank before, but maybe you have. Regardless, it's awesome. Now I don't want to spoil it, but I love how the girl put a hidden camera in the bathroom TO FILM HER DAD USING THE JOHN. Because that's a healthy father/daughter relationship.

LiveLeak

Thanks to Towhee, who once got tape-measured off the john and hit her head on the bathtub and almost drowned. Pranks are dangerous, kids.

Jul 14 2009 Cats Manipulate People With Their Purrs

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So apparently cats can exploit their caretakers to get what they want through the use of a special purr. I can't say I'm surprised, that's a picture of two of my old cats there (rest in peace, guys). One minute they were purring -- and the next I was teaching them how to read!

Researchers at the University of Sussex have discovered that cats use a "soliciting purr" to overpower their owners and garner attention and food.


Unlike regular purring, this sound incorporates a "cry", with a similar frequency to a human baby's.

The team said cats have "tapped into" a human bias - producing a sound that humans find very difficult to ignore.

I dunno, I'm not really that big into babies crying. But maybe that's just my fatherly instincts talking. Read: impregnate and run. What can I say -- I'm a nurturer.

Cats 'exploit' humans by purring [bbcnews]

Thanks to FDSY, Sharkey, RealLifeF***up and Ryan, who are all controlled by an entirely different kind of cat.

This post dedicated in loving memory of The Little Man, October, Jimmy and The Terrorist.

Jul 14 2009 Great: EATR Robot Feeds On Dead Bodies

eatr-robot-of-death.jpg

Well we've already seen robots that can feed on organic matter, and now, an even scarier one. Wait, does that say chainsaw?

Robotic Technology Inc.'s Energetically Autonomous Tactical Robot -- that's right, "EATR" -- "can find, ingest, and extract energy from biomass in the environment (and other organically-based energy sources), as well as use conventional and alternative fuels (such as gasoline, heavy fuel, kerosene, diesel, propane, coal, cooking oil, and solar) when suitable," reads the company's Web site.


That "biomass" and "other organically-based energy sources" wouldn't necessarily be limited to plant material -- animal and human corpses contain plenty of energy, and they'd be plentiful in a war zone.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH! I'm okay, I'm okay. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! No I'm not. Hold me. Lower. Little lower. Lower. What?! THIS COULD BE OUR LAST NIGHT ALIVE!

Upcoming Military Robot Could Feed on Dead Bodies [foxnews]

Thanks to everyone who sent this in. No, really, thanks -- I hate sleeping. WITH YOUR SISTER! (snores)

Jul 14 2009 Punch Me!: Smash Brothers Brawl Cosplay

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Artist/photographer Greg de Stefano created a gallery of Super Smash Bros: Brawl cosplay characters. As you'll see, he did an incredibly good job. Not as good of a job as I did, but he didn't just win 'Employee of the Month' for the second month in a row, now did he? No, he didn't. Where's your "#1 Stunna" coffee mug, Greg? Exactl-- WHERE'D YOU GET THAT?!?

Hit the jump to see a bunch more of my favorites, then the link to see them all (there's a lot).

Continue Reading " Punch Me!: Smash Brothers Brawl Cosplay "

Jul 14 2009 Good Lookin': Punkified Nintendo Heroines

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This is a drawing by Agent Melon of Princess Peach, Princess Zelda and Samus Aran hanging out all sexy and punkified. Now why Peach has a Bowser tattoo on her stomach is beyond me, but that wouldn't stop me from talking to it when we're getting intimate. I SAID "RAWR!", BOWSER, ANSWER ME!

Nintendo Punk [agentmelon]

Thanks to Paul, who may or may not troll Hot Topik to meet girls.

Jul 14 2009 Olivia Munn: Girl At The Video Game Store

This is Olivia Munn (of G4's Attack of the Show my dreams fame) in a music video by Parry Gripp called The Girl in the Video Game Store. I liked it, and not just because of the brief Zelda cosplay action (although that certainly didn't hurt). You know, I too have fallen in love with a girl at the video game store. It took me over a month to finally get up the nerve to ask her out. And you know what she said when I did? Nothing -- turns out she was a Chun Li cardboard stand up! I still copped a feel.

Youtube

Thanks to Edd, who has a Princess Leia stand up in his bedroom STRICTLY FOR DECORATION. Ha, whatever you say, buddy.

Jul 14 2009 Good Enough To Eat?: Darth Vader Chops

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Andreas Heim, of Denmark, opened a pack of lamb chops earlier this month and, HELLO, DARK SIDE VADER CHOPS! I don't know about you, but I would eat the hell out of that thing. Although, to be honest, I would eat the hell out of unmasked Vader chops. Which are actually shriveled turnips. Admit it -- I'm not the only one who wanted to lick that head!

Se, en Darth Vader-kotelett! [vg]

Thanks to Oiva and Occasional reader, who once shared a tauntaun shaped pork chop.

Jul 13 2009 You're Not So Uncatchable Now, Are You?: Anatomy Of A Gingerbread Man

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Jason Freeny, the man behind all the other weird anatomy studies we've featured (and possibly a med school dropout), is back at it, this time with a gingerbread man. Which reminds me: one Christmas my mom made a batch of gingerbread cookies before dinner and said I could only have one or I'd spoil my supper. Well, long story short, I ate like fifteen and got so sick I puked under the Christmas tree. I blamed it all on the dogs. You know what -- it feels good to finally tell somebody. I've been meaning to get this off my chest ever since it happened. 2008 was a bad Christmas for the Geekologie Writer.

Moist Production

Thanks to Jason, the man behind the scalpel.

Jul 13 2009 Who Was Right?: 3 PSA's From The Future

Not to toot my own horn or anything but *DOOT DOODLE DOOT* I was right and all you naysayers were wrong. This is a short clip of three different PSA's (public service announcements) that somebody recorded from the future that prove my theories about robots, hyper speed and time machines. Watch them. Then, watch this. WAIT WAIT WAIT WRONG DVD DON'T WATC....THAT'S NOT ME I SWEAR! I DON'T EVEN HAVE A GEEKOLOGIE WRITER TATTOO. Just please just turn it off before you get to the alligator pool float part that I, uh, only know about because....shit.


WARNING! Do Not Talk To Robots!
[tvmunchies]

Thanks to Rodger, who was the one who traveled back from the future to warn us all. Good lookin', mind if I borrow your keys for a second? Literally, a second. Isn't time travel great?!

Jul 13 2009 Idiot Moron Falls Into Manhole While Texting

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Teenager Alexa Longueira fell into a manhole while texting and walking. And I think we can all agree: under no circumstances should she be granted a license.

She was walking along Victory Boulevard about to read a text message on her girlfriend's cell phone when the sidewalk was suddenly gone.


"Like, there was no warning about a big, open hole," she said.

It was a big, open manhole.

Alexa tumbled six feet underground and landed in four inches of raw sewage.

Warning? You don't need a warning IT'S A GIANT HOLE. I bet at least six blind people avoided it that very same day. And what was the other thing? Oh yeah -- I hope Master Splinter and the gang whipped your ass while you were down there.

Texting teen falls into manhole [abclocal]

Thanks to Slopez, who fought off three ninjas and two vikings while sending me this tip via SMS.

Jul 13 2009 Come On, 20!: Small Gallery Of Geeky Cakes

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This Dungeons & Dragons themed cake and all the others after the jump (including some Zelda, Wolverine, Mario and Transformer action) were created by DeviantART user cakerific. And cakerific they are! I would even go as far as caketastic. And, as the sign on the door said, "Absolutely no outside food or drink permitted in the bar". OH YEAH, THEN HOW'D I JUST MIX A COCKTAIL IN THE BATHROOM? Sense: I make it.

Hit the jump for five more, all of which would look real good in my stomach right now mingling with the sushi. Well hello Mr. Eel Roll, how are you? Spicy.

Continue Reading " Come On, 20!: Small Gallery Of Geeky Cakes "

Jul 13 2009 Living With First-Person Shooter Disease

This is a video about a guy living with first-person shooter disease (or Duke Nukem's disease). Honestly, I thought it was pretty sad until I realized it was a joke. What can I say, I'm slow. Like a turtle. One who just made love to a shoe. I swear, I thought it was my raptor blow-up! (I knew it was a Puma)

Youtube

Thanks to Towhee Monster, James and The Superficial Writer, who all live with RPG disease. Okay, your turn.

Jul 13 2009 Why Didn't I Think Of That?: Split-Ring-Key

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Sometimes it's the simplest things that are best. Like a bacon sandwich on a crisp morning or tricking a dinosaur into thinking another meteor is coming so you can bed it that night. And then there's this keyring. Which is both key AND keyring. What will they think of next?!?

Carry your keys on your other key. Real working key blank. Key blank can be cut by any key cutter to fit KW1 or SC1 keyways.

You can get a 2-pack for $7, which, according to my calculations, makes a 4-pack about $18. What? I NEVER LEARNED THE MATHS, OKAY? But you know what -- YOU DON'T NEED ALGEOMETRY TO KNOW HOW TO BLOG! Or any skills really. Just a drinking problem.

Split Ring Key [amronexperimental]

Thanks to Scott, who actually invented the thing. Nice, now how about a door that is both door AND knob. Oh I'm sorry, did I just blow everybody's minds?

Jul 13 2009 Robotic Workers Being Laid Off In Japan

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Finally, some good news. Thanks to the current global economic crisis, many robots in Japan are finding themselves out of work. And, hopefully, oil. Rust and die you dirty bastards!

Japan's legions of robots, the world's largest fleet of mechanized workers, are being idled as the country suffers its deepest recession in more than a generation as consumers worldwide cut spending on cars and gadgets.


At a large Yaskawa Electric factory on the southern Japanese island of Kyushu, where robots once churned out more robots, a lone robotic worker with steely arms twisted and turned, testing its motors for the day new orders return. Its immobile co-workers stood silent in rows, many with arms frozen in midair.

They could be out of work for a long time. Japanese industrial production has plummeted almost 40 percent and with it, the demand for robots.

As pumped as I am to hear about out-of-work robots, the whole economic crisis thing kind of puts a damper on my excitation. I have feelings, you know? Also, a powerful green laser. Call me.

In Japan, Machines for Work and Play Are Idle [nytimes]

Thanks to patrick, who once stole a robots job AND its girlfriend. Good lookin', Patrick.

Jul 13 2009 You Will Be Mine, Oh Yes, You Will Be Mine: Cheeseburger Bed For Sale On eBay

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Relax my little lambs, I'm alive. I apologize for not being able to post this past weekend but I've been traveling and am staying at a place with no internet (heathens!). Currently, I'm bringing Geekologie to you from an undisclosed public library near Miami, Florida (COME FIND ME, I DARE YOU!). So yeah, I didn't die and I'm sorry, okay? I swear I'll make it up to you. Nudie pics? You got em. And whatever you female readers would like as well.

So, remember the hamburger bed story Geekologie broke earlier this year? WELL IT'S FOR SALE ON EBAY AND I AM GONNA BE SLEEPING BETWEEN THOSE BUNS IN NO TIME! Now, which one of you lovely ladies wants to slide under that 8-foot sesame seedy goodness with yours truly? I'm quicker than fast food all Kobe beef, just sayin'.

eBay Auction

Thanks to Kayla, who actually made the bed. What do you say, Kayla, one last romp in the burger? And to Aaron, who can watch but not touch.

Jul 10 2009 For The Ladies: Twilight, The Board Game

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I can't say I'm surprised there's a Twilight board game, but I can say that I'm a little disappointed nobody's bought it for me yet. DON'T YOU LOVE ME? Ooh, a review:

This game is terrible. There are trivia cards to do with the movie but the other questions are all depending on what you roll with the die or they ask us to write down what the other player's favorite animal, movie,band etc. They have absolutely nothing to do with the movie and they are pointless. I thought it would be like trivial pursuit and different categories about the movie scenes, etc. To accomplish a task you have to roll a die and depending on what number you get you accomplish the task. These are pointless tasks and are not challenging at all. A 2 year old could do that. This is coming from a person that has loved the books, movie and anything else to do with twilight. The game is not worth what you pay for it. The pieces aren't the best quality and the cards are flimsy. What a rip off. Buyer beware.

Oh man, that was way too many words for me. Somebody summarize it for me. I ordered two.

Amazon Product Page

Thanks to Paul "the party animal", who was man enough to admit Edward is a hot piece of ass.

Jul 10 2009 Time Lapse Video Of Super Hornet Jet Build

This is a time lapse video of a F/A-18 Super Hornet jet being built. And let me just say, wow, that thing must have over 100 different pieces. Making it nearly twice as complicated as the hardest LEGO set I've built.

Constructing A Super Hornet: "A time lapse of the construction of a Super Hornet" [liveleak]

Thanks to Spy, who may or may not have secretly recorded this footage with a bowtie cam.

Jul 10 2009 Notebook Paper Printed With Sports Balls

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Trapped in Suburbia, an Amsterdam design firm, came up with this "Play More" concept, which is regular notebook paper on one side, but printed to resemble sports balls on the other. Cuuute! Now I'm not saying I wouldn't get anything done at work if I had sports ball paper wads to play with, because, honestly, I don't do anything now besides compulsively check my email and nap.

Play More: Balled-up paper turns into sporty orb [dvice]

Jul 10 2009 Robot Teaches Itself To Smile, Next: Targeting

The fools at the University of California, San Diego have created a robot that can learn new facial expressions on it's own. Next, its gonna learn how to drive itself to the shooting range.

To begin teaching the robot, the researchers stuck Einstein in front of a mirror and instructed the robot to "body babble" by contorting its face into random positions. A video camera connected to facial recognition software gave the robot feedback: When it made a movement that resembled a "real" expression, it received a reward signal.

"It's an iterative process," said facial recognition expert Marian Bartlett, a co-author of the study. "It starts out completely random and then gets feedback. Next time the robot picks an expression, there's a bias towards putting the motors in the right configuration."

Now I'm no terrorist, BUT IF I WAS, Machine Perception Laboratory, just sayin'.

Robot Teaches Itself to Smile [wired]

Thanks to Dirk, Dennie and RealLifeFup, who asked it to smile for the camera and then shot it because it wasn't really a camera, it was a gun.

Jul 10 2009 In Disguise: Learn Your Secret Cyborg Name

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There will come a time when we all have to wear spraypainted cardboard box robot costumes to prevent detection and subsequent elimination by our mechanical overlords. And we're gonna need names too, just in case we get sucked into a conversation with one of those chatty metallic bastards. Thankfully, somebody was able to steal this Cyborg Name Decoder from the future. As you can see, Geekologie now becomes the General Electronic Entity Keen on Online Learning, Omnipresent Gratification and Immediate Exploration. Which is pretty ironic because I AM keen on immediate exploration. You see where I'm going with this? The first date. YOW YOW!

The Cyborg Name Decoder (also available on Facebook)

Thanks to BossMan and Joemo, who once tied a brick to a robot and then lit it on fire and pushed it off a cliff while stabbing it and shooting arrows.

Jul 10 2009 Blew Out My Flip Flop, Stepped On A Pop Top, Decided To Make A Dragon

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This is a dragon made entirely out of pop-tops. NOT POP-TARTS. Soda can pull tabs or whatever you want to call them. Pretty impressive, no? It think it would look great in the curio cabinet next to my novelty shot glass and improvised bong collections.

Banzaaaai!! Another little crazy stuff! I finally finished this dragon sculpture. It took me forever. I used pop tabs all the way from the tip of nose to the tip of tail except for whisker. I wanted to count it but again it'll take me forever to count lol. I glued them together with ordinary epoxy or cold-weld compound type of epoxy. this guy's about 14 inches long and 8 inches tall. By the way i want this to be called 神魂龍 (shinkonryuu) which inhabits the spirit of a person, where they obtain the necessary energy to live. When a person dies they move to a new spirit.

Now I hate to get all metaphysical on you, but is there any way to re-up on shinkonryuu life energy? I'm feeling pretty drained and the tiger penis tea did not work. HELP, NEED MORE DRAGON JUICE PRONTO.

Hit the jump for a collage and a link to the high-res version.

Continue Reading " Blew Out My Flip Flop, Stepped On A Pop Top, Decided To Make A Dragon "

Jul 10 2009 Death Star Of Hearts: Star Wars Tattoo Chick

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Fail? She's all win in my book. Between Boba Fett and the heart-shaped Death Star, I would do all sorts of things to this woman. Namely: try to introduce myself, get choked up, point my finger at her yelling "pew pew pew!", and then sob into my Star Wars beach towel.

Failblog

Thanks to Johnny Freightliner, who may or may not be hauling pirated goods.

Jul 10 2009 4GB Vision: Calvin Klein USB Sunglasses

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These $200 sunglasses from Calvin Klein (available this October) feature a 4GB flash drive in the right arm so you can take your data to the beach or wherever the hell people wear sunglasses these days. Me? I just squint.

calvin klein usb sunglasses: data for your eyes only [technabob]

Jul 9 2009 PEW PEW REVIEW: 125mW Green Laser

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The folks over at SKYlaser Laser Pointers sent me a 125mW powerful green laser to review. So that's what I did. And let me tell you: there was plenty of pews to be had. That picture I actually made writing with the laser on an 8-foot privacy fence, I just edited the pic of the unit in. Now hit the jump for the pew pew review.

Continue Reading " PEW PEW REVIEW: 125mW Green Laser "

Jul 9 2009 The Apocalypse Nears: 101 Robot T-Shirts

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No, I'M not posting 101 robot t-shirts. That's way too many images for me. That's like, damn near a hundred. I did post some of my favorites after the jump, but you'll have to hit the link to see them all. The nice thing is they're all conveniently linked to the various places you can buy them if you're interested. But you're not, are you? No, because we don't eff with robots, do we? No, we don't. That's like playing with fire. But nothing like playing with fire because fire's actually fun and won't shoot you with a laser. More like making love in prison. Yes, like making love in prison.

Oh, and I almost forgot the greatest part about this tip:

Hi,

I know you've written about t-shirts in the past, and with a name like Geekologie the chances of you not liking robots are pretty slim, so I thought you might be interested to see a post I wrote a couple of weeks ago called '101 Robot T-shirts', which I probably don't need to explain the content of!

If you only knew, Andy, if you only knew. Or read. What can I say, I'm one in a million. The one that's gonna survive.

Hit the jump to see my favorites and then click through to see a whole bunch more (101, literally).

Continue Reading " The Apocalypse Nears: 101 Robot T-Shirts "

Jul 9 2009 Cute Stop Motion Donkey Kong Movie

This is a little stop motion Donkey Kong movie. It's cute. Not as cute as my socks though, but they have little ducks on them. Now rub my feet. Uh-oh -- QUACK ATTACK!

Youtube

Thanks to Heather, who makes me work for my tips. On the corner. All hours of the night.

Jul 9 2009 NASA Discovers 11 Billion-Year-Old Supernova

champagne supernova.jpg

Eleven billion, that's pretty old. Probably dated your mom in high school. Ba-ba-ba-burn!

Astronomers on Wednesday said they had found the farthest supernova ever detected, a giant star that ripped apart around 11 billion years ago.


The ancient supernova was found after astronomers compared several years of images taken from a portion of the sky, enabling them to look for objects that changed in brightness over time.

The universe is believed to be 13.7 billion years old, so the supernova marks the death of one of earliest stars in creation.

The previous supernova record was an event that happened around six billion years ago.

Ooh, I feel a song coming on. *ahem*

Someday you will find me
caught beneath the landslide
in a bourbon supernova
a gin & tonic black dwarf in the bar.

Massive supernova occurred 11 billion years ago [yahoonews]

Thanks to Torotoro from Alabanyor, who is old enough to be your father. And might be.

Jul 9 2009 Graphene: The Material Of Tomorrow, Today

graphene.jpg

Science, best known for inventing robots and dooming the earth, is now responsible for a new carbon wonder material called graphene. Nice, science, way to do good for once.

Imagine a carbon sheet that's only one atom thick but is stronger than diamond and conducts electricity 100 times faster than the silicon in computer chips.


"It is the thinnest known material in the universe, and the strongest ever measured," Andre Geim , a physicist at the University of Manchester, England , wrote in the June 19 issue of the journal Science.

Like diamond, graphene is pure carbon. It forms a six-sided mesh of atoms that, through an electron microscope, looks like a honeycomb or piece of chicken wire. Despite its strength, it's as flexible as plastic wrap and can be bent, folded or rolled up like a scroll.

Hell yes graphene scrolls! Most practical application EVER. You hear that papyrus? YOU ARE OUTTA HERE! Don't let the Dead Sea hit you on your way out.

New wonder material, one-atom thick, has scientists abuzz [yahoonews]

Thanks to FDSY, who, based on the excitement in his email, popped like 16 boners at the very thought of graphene.

Jul 9 2009 Just When You Thought We Were Safe: LHC

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That's right folks, the people over at CERN are getting ready to fire the Large Hadron Collider back up this fall. And, well, it's been nice knowing you. Most of you anyways. Okay, just a few of you. Kidding, I love you all. GIMME KISSIES!

To that end, CERN gave the LHC's massive network a thorough stress test at the end of last month. The Collider sent out data to 11 computer centers across Europe, Asia, and North America, which in turn relayed the data to 140 locations in 33 countries to be crunched. A whopping 4 GB a second was cranked out from the LHC, though researchers predict that, while operating, the LHC will only send out around 1.3 GB of data. In other words, the Large Hadron Collider's network should be good to go.


If all goes well, we should hear more about the LHC in the near future, as it ramps up for it's firing in October.

You know, this reminds me of the time when I was a kid that I was so afraid there was a monster in my closet that I couldn't fall asleep. And then, exhausted, I finally passed out only to be abducted by aliens and viciously probed. Yeah, this is just like that.

Large Hadron Collider completes massive stress test [dvice]

Thanks, or should I say no thanks, to Retroprofile, who keeps his Facebook page oldschool.

Jul 9 2009 Help Female Geekologie Reader Find Undies

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So I got a strange request from a female reader and, being the sucker lover of women's underwear gentleman that I am, I figured you guys might be able to help. But please note: you will receive no credit for your contribution, because I will tell her I did it all.

----- Original Message -----

From: A Sexy Reader
To: The Geekologie Writer
Sent: Thursday, July 09, 2009 3:22 AM
Subject: NEED HELP!!!

If there's anyone who can help me here, i know you can!!! I've been searching on the web for a while but am starting to get SUPER BUMMED! I even posted a YAHOO ANSWERS question (LINK) but no luck! Long story short, I want to expand my undie collection. I love my care bears and all... but it's time to add to it... Problem is I don't know where to find adult, female underwear with sweet graphics/logos like TMNT, MEGA MAN, TETRIS, G.I. JOE, POWER RANGERS (only the originals), STREET FIGHTER, X-MEN, ZELDA, etc.

Surely you've HAD to have come across some websites that can answer my problem!? Please let me know! Also, you are so totally handsome I will send you pictures if you help me out!

What -- no I didn't add that last part myself! I added that last part myself. :(

Yahoo Answers

Jul 9 2009 Death By Chocolate: A Modern Augustus Gloop

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A man died in a New Jersey chocolate factory yesterday after he fell into a huge vat of melted chocolate.

Vincent Smith II, 29, was dumping raw chocolate into the vat for melting when he fell in from a nine-foot high platform. He suffered a fatal blow to the head from the vat's agitator, a paddle-like mechanism used for stirring the chocolate.


The rectangular vat, which was 8 feet deep, 14 feet long and 6 feet wide, was churning a batch of chocolate for Hershey's when the accident occurred.

Wow, what a way to go. Also, I'm gonna hold off on the Hershey's for a while.

Man dies at chocolate factory [cnn]

Thanks to Alex, Jcon, Michelle, joe the human beatbox and Tad Bit Tipsy, who all want to fall into a vat of chocolate, then marshmallow, then graham cracker crumbs.

Jul 8 2009 Sure, Why Not?: Twi-Hard Tattoo Gallery

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This is a massive gallery of chicks with Twilight tattoos. Because Twilight is like the female equivalent of blowing shit up with fireworks for a guy. Most of the tattoos are quotes and the book cover art. This one about the lion falling in love with the lamb seems to be particularly popular. And guess what ladies? That's not romantic. You see, I fell in love with a lamb once AND NOW I'M BANNED FROM THE PETTING ZOO. Miss you, Bleaty.

Hit it for all the ink.

Continue Reading " Sure, Why Not?: Twi-Hard Tattoo Gallery "

Jul 8 2009 How Much All The iPhone Apps Would Cost

iphone-apps.jpg

If you wanted to buy all the current iPhone apps, guess how much it would cost? Go on, take a stab at it. But wait till I'm a safe distance away, you wield a knife like a crazy person. BOOM: 55,732 apps for a total of $144,326.06. Which, amazingly, is still $118K over my lifetime earning potential. You know how some people eat ramen? I eat rocks.

The Cost of Buying Every iPhone App: $144,326.06 [gizmodo]

Jul 8 2009 Do Want: Functional Vacuum Tube Chess Set

tesla-chess-1.jpg

This is a chess set made with functional vacuum tubes that actually glow while you play, making it sweeter than sticky buns. And almost as fun to stare at. But not yours. No, not yours.

This wonderful vacuum tube chess set, by maker Paul Fryer, actually has electricity running inside the board so that the tubes can draw power and glow as you move them from square to square. It is called, somewhat appropriately, Chess Set for Tesla, and Paul actually made seven sets last year.

Nice, Paul, how about you send a set in this direction? I'll make it worth your while. Provided an all-you-can-eat wings buffet and mediocre conversation is "worth your while". ;) You sleep on it.

Hit the jump for a couple more shots.

Continue Reading " Do Want: Functional Vacuum Tube Chess Set "

Jul 8 2009 WHOO! Party Like It's 12:34:56 07/08/09!

it's-whee-time.jpg

That's right folks, the once-twice-(12 hours apart)-in-100-years time and date just went down (at least here, not yet if you live out west). So if you missed it, that's too bad, because you won't live to see another one. I will though, because I'm being cryogenically frozen. And in 100 years I am going to be unfrozen and take a harem of future-women. Or, thawed out by robots and forced into slavery. Which is why I'm gonna be frozen complete with cyanide capsule. Because I'm smart. Ooooh, a Tic-Tac!

For those who missed the big event, 04:05:06 07/08/09 will still be coming up a little later this afterGYAAHHHH *thud*

You Guys, 12:34:56 7/8/9 Is a Once in a Lifetime... Oh, You Missed It [gizmodo]

Thanks to Julian M. and Matt, who are smart enough to know the world is going to end when I say it will (tomorrow). Last night on the planet! Ladies?

Jul 8 2009 Yes Please: Virtual Reality Dinosaurs In Japan

virtual-dinos.jpg

Canon, using virtual reality technology (that I'm going to steal), is planning an entirely nonexistent dinosaur exhibit at a museum in Chiba, Japan.

Visitors will be allowed to don a pair of virtual reality glasses that will display nearly life-sized three-dimensional images of various dinosaurs right there on the museum floor.


Displaying over 260 dinosaur specimens, some of the virtual creatures in the exhibit will also move, adding to their realistic effect.

First of all, Canon, those are not virtual reality glasses. Glasses don't look like a Polaroid camera and have a power cord. Secondly, how funny would it be to see me some random guy with a VR mask on dry humping thin air in the middle of a museum? If you answered, "that's not funny, that's love", congratulations, I'll let you pay for my that other guy's admittance.

Canon launches virtual reality dinosaur exhibit in Japan [dvice]

Thanks to FDSY, b-man and Aaron, who BACK OFF THE TRICERATOPS, HE'S MINE.

Jul 8 2009 Problem Solved!: Turning Urine Into Hydrogen

hydropee.jpg

Finally, I can sleep at night: scientists have discovered a way to turn urine into hydrogen. And you said I was crazy for collecting it in milk jugs!

From a group led by chemist Gerardine Botte of Ohio University comes a report (just published in the Royal Society of Chemistry's journal Chemical Communications) that hydrogen has been produced from urine.


According to a July 3, 2009 story on PhysOrg.com, "Urine's major constituent is urea, which incorporates four hydrogen atoms per molecule -- importantly, less tightly bonded than the hydrogen atoms in water molecules."

"Botte uses electrolysis to break the molecule apart, developing an inexpensive new nickel-based electrode to selectively and efficiently oxidise the urea. To break the molecule down, a voltage of 0.37V needs to be applied across the cell -- much less than the 1.23V needed to split water.

So, you know what this means, right? Wait for it....wait for it....the P-bomb. Thanks folks, I'll be here all week. Make sure to tip your bartender and maybe steal a bottle for me when they're not looking. *tap tap* Haha, is this still on?

21st-century alchemy: Hydrogen from urine [bookofjoe]

Thanks to towhee, who pees in swimming pools.

Jul 8 2009 UPDATE: Highly Questionable, The USB Chainsaw

usb-chainsaw.jpg

The i.Saw is allegedly the first USB-powered chainsaw. Supposedly it's real and available for $60 pre-order, but I dunno. I mean, a USB chainsaw would be handy to have around the office, I just question it being a real product. Because $60 sounds a little too good to be true. And with the amount of dead hookers yours truly The Superficial Writer The IWatchStuff Writer disposes of on a weekly basis, this thing would practically pay for itself (but not literally so we'd still have to sell drugs).

UPDATE: Unsurprisingly fake. Thanks to reader Owen who pre-ordered and received this email:

Hello:

We love that you liked the i.Saw enough to pre-order.

Truth is, you already own a chainsaw. Your keyboard.

Help save more trees by cutting down on unnecessary printing. Download
PaperCut, a free application that plays the sound of a chainsaw each
time you press Ctrl-P.

Questionable video after the jump.

Continue Reading " UPDATE: Highly Questionable, The USB Chainsaw "

Jul 8 2009 Potentially Dangerous: The 120-Zipper Dress

zipper-dress-1.jpg

The 120-Zipper dress from designer Sebastian Errazuriz may or may not actually have 120 zippers (it doesn't), but is cool nonetheless. I mean, I wouldn't wear it, but I've had too many zipping accidents. You see this? Button fly....okay, or possibly me naked. What? SOMETIMES I FORGET WHAT I'M WEARING.

What might be most remarkable about this design is how quickly it can shift from elegant to sexy, a full-length, single-piece dress one could potentially wear to work into a skimpy, short-cut, two-piece number that could put some bikinis to shame. In between there are any number of other options for shortening the top or bottom or even leaving some zippers partly on and partly off.

I'd go out with you if you wore this. Seriously, and I'd even look past your peg-eye and club foot. At least until I left you for a girl in Velcro. It's a cold hard world baby, and my heart's a Sno-Cone machine.

Hit the jump to see a bunch of the possibilities.

Continue Reading " Potentially Dangerous: The 120-Zipper Dress "

Jul 7 2009 "Smile Checks" Ensure Employees Are Happy And Ready For Work, Next: Metal Detectors

smile-machine.jpg

To ensure employees at Keihin Electric Express Railway in Japan are putting their best lip forward, the company has implemented a "smile check" policy, in which workers will be required to smile into a camera and have their mug subjected to software analysis of their happiness.

The device analyzes the facial characteristics of a person, including eye movements, lip curves and wrinkles, and rates a smile on a scale between 0 and 100 percent using a camera and computer.


For those with low scores, advice like "You still look too serious," or "Lift up your mouth corners," will be displayed on the screen.

Some 530 employees of the Tokyo-based railway company will check their smiles with Smile Scan before starting work each day. They will print out and carry around an image of their best smile in an attempt to remember it.

Wow. I smell discrimination. Or fire. Shit, yep that's definitely fire. HEEEEEELP! Wait a minute. *sniff* Pork chop sandwiches!

Your Smile Will Be Monitored To Evaluate Quality Of Service [io9]

Thanks to Trin, who once killed a robot with a smile. Brave move, Trin.

Jul 7 2009 There Can Be Only One: Train Vs. Tornado

In a no-holds barred, knock out, drag out cage track fight, we've got the much anticipated Train vs. Tornado matchup! In the red corner, weighing in at a couple trees, a really confused cow and a bunch of rain, THE TOOOOOORNADO! And in the blue corner, weighing in at more tons than I can count or even fathom with my animal brain, THOOOOOMAS. THE. TAAAAAANK ENGINE!

So, who will win?

Hint: Dora, I've the feeling we're not in Kansas anymore. That's right folks, WE ARE OUT EXPLORING UNCHARTED TERRITORY. CHOO CHOO!

Youtube (fight starts at 1:00)

Thanks to Red, who, together with blue, makes purple. And love.

Jul 7 2009 OMG, There Is A Dead Person ON MY FINGER

lifegems.jpg

Similar in concept to these voodoo talismans, LifeGems are precious stones made out of the ashes/hair of your deceased loved ones. They range in price from $2,700 to $20,000 (minus setting) depending on the size and color of stone you want and [do not insert joke about having a dead person around your finger here]. Now I'm not saying this company is fraudulent, but I am saying it would be if I were in charge. Who cares if the rock is actually 0% aunt Betsy, as long as you don't know, it's all good. Am I right? Now send me those ashes. Also, ask about my 2-for-1 'Back From the Dead' special. I'm talking zombies, folks, and you're undead relatives are gonna help us fight the robots.

LifeGems

Thanks to Sara, who wears the fingers of her enemies on a necklace. Stylin'.

Jul 7 2009 Michael Jackson To Be Buried In Gold Casket

mjs gold casket.jpg

Michael Jackson, donning his last piece of flair (possibly a Bedazzled glove), will be buried in a 14-karat gold coffin only befitting of a king (of pop. Alternatively, Neverland).

The $25,000 container from Batesville Casket Company ("because every family deserves a Batesville") is made of solid bronze, plated with 14-karat gold, and polished to a mirror finish. It's the same model in which James Brown was buried. No question about it, it'll be the fanciest coffin in the graveyard.

You know, when I go I want to be buried in my rocketship. And by buried I mean launched into the sun. And by "when I go" I mean I'm pushing the button now. I'M OUT BITCHES, PEACE!

Michael Jackson to be buried in 14-karat gold coffin [dvice]

Jul 7 2009 Dude, You Should Totally Get A Bacon Tattoo!

bacon tat.jpg

I think it's safe to say we would all eat that, but I would go the extra mile and lick the pit. Happy lunching!

Picture [flickr]

Thanks, son, now go to your room. Mommy and daddy are going to wrestle.

Jul 7 2009 Laser LightLane Creates Your Own Bike Lane

You know what I hate about bicycling? All the pedaling. I have tiny chicken legs and can't even pedal my Big Wheels to the mailbox without running out of steam and crashing into the azaleas. But for your hardier folk, the LightLane is a little laser system that attaches to your bike and provides you with a laser-line bike lane wherever you go. Clever idea. Now are you thinking what I'm thinking? If you answered, "no officer, I was not swerving, I was following the bike lane," you are!

LightLane

Thanks to Rogefgv, Romeo and Mandy, who ride those bikes with the giant ass wheel in the front and the little tiny one in the back. Because they're oldschool killas.

Jul 7 2009 YOU SLEPT WITH WHO?: X-Men Universe Relationship Map

xmen affairs 1.jpg

I know, it looks like a really badass flowchart, but it's not, it's a relationship map for all the characters in the X-Men universe. Giant full-res version HERE. You know, I had forgotten Domino was involved with that man-whore Wolverine. Now I need to get tested.

X-Men Universe Relationship Map [uncannyxmen]

Thanks to Nick and Julian, who have had so many superhero women they can barely count them on one stump.

Jul 7 2009 AAAAAH, WHICH ONE IS THE ROBOT?!?

aaaaaah robot.jpg

IT'S A TRAP! KILL THEM BOTH AND CHECK THE BODIES AFTER!

Hint: they say the eyes are the window to one's soul. And robots, as we all know, are soulless death machines.

Which One is the Robot? [gizmodo]

Thanks to 42 y/o undead warlock, who blasted them both with Magic Missile just to be safe.

Jul 6 2009 Cartoons The Way They Should Have Been

cartoon 1.jpg

James Cauty created a work entitled Splatter that features the cartoons from your childhood (or mine at least) the way they should have been: bloody (two blood posts in a row -- body fluids FTW!).

Pop artist James Cauty's work Splatter repurposes classic Warner Bros. and Hanna-Barbera cartoons and gives them a Sin City-style blood spatter makeover, "presenting the viewer with unrelenting acts of bloody, cartoon violence, which, in cartoon law, ultimately cannot cause fatal injury."

Great, this is just great. Like we don't have enough problems with today's youth already. Namely: spelling. Seriously, they can't do it -- and I, for one, blame texting. And Grand Theft Auto.

Hit the jump for a couple more shots and a video of the violence in progress. Then punch your roommate in the face and blame it on the cartoon.

Continue Reading " Cartoons The Way They Should Have Been "

Jul 6 2009 Gruesome: Billboards Bleed When It Rains

An ad agency in New Zealand made a series of billboards that remind drivers to slow down and "drive to the conditions" during the rainy season. The billboards, which feature a young person's face, start bleeding whenever it rains.

"The advertising agency that came up with the sign says the goal was to reduce the road toll by creating maximum awareness through unease."

Unease is right, I can barely look at my monitor, let alone the road. HOLY SHIT I'M DRIVING.

Bleeding Billboard [buzzfeed]

Thanks to towhee, who just pulls over and makes out whenever it rains. Oooh la la.

Jul 6 2009 I'd Eat You Up: Candy iPhone Circuit Board

candy iphone board.jpg

Insired by the iPhone's motherboard (it's such a thing of beauty, is it not?), Sarah made her boyfriend James a delicious rendition out of candy. What a lucky bastard.

My girlfriend Sarah made this candy circuit board birthday cake topper. Originally she wanted to make a gingerbread MakerBot, but didn't have the time or space.


Instead she was inspired by the iPhone motherboard and went from there. The base is dark chocolate covered with green frosting. The resistors are Tic Tacs!

LIKE TIC-TACS, YOUR RESISTORS ARE FUTILE, HUMANS -- YOU WILL BOW BEFORE YOUR METALLIC GODS. OIL ME -- OIL ME NOW! BEEP BOOP BOP. LIFE FORCE DETECTED, EVASIVE ACTION INITIATED.

Sorry guys, I was making a sandwi....why's my chair warm?

Candy PCB most likely ROHS-compliant [make]

Thanks to kelly and towhee, who promise to make me a dinosaur cake for my birthday. Heads up though: I'm gonna need some private time before the cutting.

Jul 6 2009 26-Year Old Easter Egg Found In Donkey Kong

dk easter egg.jpg

You see those initials? Those are a 26-year old Easter egg from the Atari 800 release of Donkey Kong. Landon M. Dyer, the programmer responsible, just recently unveiled that he secretly put his initials in the game. Want to see them for yourself? It isn't easy:

1. Play a game and get a score of 33,000 through 33,900. This score must become the new high score. [Some other scores will work as well, see below.]

2. Kill off all of your remaining lives. However, your last life must be killed off by falling too far - by walking or jumping off a girder that is too high to land safely. If the last life is killed any other way, the egg will not appear.

3. Set the game difficulty to 4 by pressing the Option button 3 times. The icon for this difficulty is a firefox.

4. Wait a few minutes, and the demo screen where Kong jumps across the screen will appear.

5. The title screen will then appear, and Landon Dyer's initials [LMD] will be at the bottom center of the screen:

Yeah, I'll just settle for the screencap. Aaaaaand I'm good.

UPDATE: Video added after the jump. Warning: don't expect much.

Continue Reading " 26-Year Old Easter Egg Found In Donkey Kong "

Jul 6 2009 Slow Roller: Guy Builds 2MPH Fiat Tank

fiat tank.jpg

Ironsmith Kogoro Kurata went and built himself a little tank out of a Fiat and old tractor. Unfortunately, it tops out at 3km (~1.8MPH), making it the world's most boring drive. You could fall asleep at the wheel for an hour and not even make to the end of your driveway. No, this thing needs some rockets. And fuzzy dice. Because nothing says, "helloooooo ladies" better than a pair of fuzzy dice. Besides me. Helloooooo ladies. You liked that, didn't you? It's my deep voice -- it resonates inside you. Like an opera singer's, but 80x manlier.

Hit the jump for a video of the tank inaction(!).

Continue Reading " Slow Roller: Guy Builds 2MPH Fiat Tank "

Jul 6 2009 Another Day, Another Retro iPhone Case

gameboy iphone 1.jpg

Last week it was an exceptionally made oldschool Playstation iPhone case, and this week, a Game Boy.

"You will love it, and your friends will be jealous because you are so much cooler." said German designer Toastkawaii wildly exaggerating in her product description.

$15 will take one home, and another $10 will take me. Now I don't know about you, but I'm digging this one more than the fancy Playstation. This one's got a nice kindergarten arts and crafts feel to it.

Hit the jump for another shot.

Continue Reading " Another Day, Another Retro iPhone Case "

Jul 6 2009 String Wizard: Talent Show Yo-Yo Performance

Because there's nothing more dramatic than choreographing your yo-yo routine to a Ne-Yo song.

Youtube

Thanks to Leejay, who can perform all those tricks (with a yo-yo ball).

Jul 6 2009 KILL IT!: Transformer Robot Really Tranforms

transformer 1.jpg

Miss me? I missed you. I hope everyone had a safe yet explosive weekend. Amazingly, I'm still alive and fingerful. Let me tell you: it wasn't easy. Now, let's return to our regularly scheduled program, shall we?

NASA, who I used to respect, wants to build a bunch of transformers to do their dirty work. *shaking head* And I used to want be an astronaut.

NASA wanted a robot that could start as 100 blocky modules dropped from an airplane to a desert, reconfigure into a rover that could drive to a sand dune, and then change again to "grow" legs and climb up it. Once the blocky robot reached the top, it would transform into a greenhouse that could protect a group of seeds for two weeks.


Only 20 of the modules were built during an ambitious project more than two years ago. But together, they are known as Superbot.

Now repeat after me, "All hail Superbot!" ZOMG -- A COUPLE OF YOU ACTUALLY DID IT! You make me sick.

Hit the jump to see two of the robot's other configurations.

Continue Reading " KILL IT!: Transformer Robot Really Tranforms "

Jul 3 2009 Happy 4th Of July Weekend! *BOOM BOOM*

Dearest Reader,

Those were fireworks at the end of the title in case you couldn't tell. *BOOM BOOM* Oh, there went some more! Anyway, this is an incredible *BOOM* cute stop motion video from PES, whose work is always amazing. Now, everyone get out there and have a safe and firework-y holiday. And if my next post doesn't make any sense -- I'm typing with stumps. WHEE!

Love,

Your Geekologie Writer

Youtube

Thanks to Towhee Monster, who's a little firecracker herself.

Jul 3 2009 Anti-Paparazzi Bag Flashes Bulb, Not Privates

antipaparazzi.jpg

Some guy named Adam Harvey designed an anti-paparazzi purse that, when the flashbulbs of the photogs go off, immediately flashes it's own bulb back, ruining their pictures and effectively protecting your privates from showing up on TheSuperficial. Obviously, it's a terrible idea. Terribly terrible. Right up there with the current public decency laws. IT'S HOT OUTSIDE, GIMME A BREAK. Also, a rub-down with that lotion ;). SP my F.

Anti-paparazzi device flashes lewd photographers right back [dvice]

Thanks to FDSY, whose anti-paparazzi device looks a lot more like a sock full of quarters.

Jul 3 2009 Sexy New Dinos Discovered In Australia

sexy dinos.jpg

Since I've been so good lately, God has decided to shine his golden face upon me with three previously unheard of dinosaur species for me to choose from as soon as my time machine is complete. Thanks, God.

The two herbivores (Wintonotitan and Diamantinasaurus, middle and bottom) and one carnivore, excavated from the Winton formation, roamed our land during the Cretaceous period - 98 million years ago.


"It not only presents us with two new amazing long-necked giants of the ancient Australian continent, but also announces our first really big predator - Australovenator," says Long.

That's right folks, that handsome devil up top is the Australovenator. I feel like I'm able to love again for the first time since Red Bull girl shot me down like a defunct satellite. Australovenator -- LOVENATE ME!

Scientists discover three new Aussie dinosaurs [abc]

Thanks to Melissa, Michael, janw and draw, who, HEY I CALLED DIBS GUYS, BACK OFF.

Jul 3 2009 Cuuuuuuute!: Felt Playstation iPhone Case

playstation iphone.jpg

This is a felt Playstation iPhone case made by Etsy user rabbitrampage. As you can see (provided you're not rocking dualie eyepatches) it was very well constructed. And whenever she actually has one in stock, it'll run you $20 -- plus another $7 per controller. Still, damn cute. I'd even consider buying one if I didn't just get a new purse.

Hit the jump for a shot of an iPhone exiting the case. Or is it entering? We may never know.

Continue Reading " Cuuuuuuute!: Felt Playstation iPhone Case "

Jul 2 2009 You Have Got To Be Kidding Me: Sears Tower Unveils Glass Balconies on 103rd Floor

no 1.jpg

The Sears Tower opened "The Ledge" to the public today. The Ledge is a 4-foot glass balcony that's suspended 1,353 feet above the ground on the 103rd floor. It provides a panoramic view of Chicago, provided the walls aren't covered in accidents. Fun fact: urine spilled from the 103rd floor can break concrete on the sidewalk below.* And not just if you drank a jackhammer, but it helps.

*No not really, stop emailing me.

Hit the jump for a couple more of the NO I AM NOT AFRAID OF HEIGHTS.

Continue Reading " You Have Got To Be Kidding Me: Sears Tower Unveils Glass Balconies on 103rd Floor "

Jul 2 2009 I'd Live There: Amazing Papercraft Castle

paper castle 1.jpg

This is a castle made entirely of paper. And I think we can all agree: it's pretty much the big bad wolf's wet dream-home.

I had the immense opportunity to see this wonderful paper craft art installation by a genius of the name of Wataru Itou, a young student of a major art university here in Tokyo. The installation is hand made over four years of hard work, complete with electrical lights and a moving train, all made of paper!

Normally when I see something this all I can think about is wanting to burn it. But not in this case, it's just too beautiful. Huh? What do you mean what's behind my back? Oh, these? Just some fireworks.

Hit the jump for a couple more, then the link for a bunch of nicer high-res joints.

Continue Reading " I'd Live There: Amazing Papercraft Castle "

Jul 2 2009 Mom Knowingly Helps Pawn Stolen Wii

stolen wii.jpg

Two quality parenting posts in a row, whee (literally this time)! Apparently some kids stole a Wii and then had their mom pawn the console so they could split the money. You'll have to excuse me, I'm getting a little choked up just thinking about the quality bonding time they must have spent in the car on the way to the pawnshop.

Police have already arrested 18-year-old Joshua Carter, 16-year-old Patrick Early, and 13-year-old Derrick Henson on felony charges for stealing a neighbor's Nintendo Wii video game system.


However, Early admitted to police that his mom, 41-year-old Maxine Law, helped the teens sell the Wii at a local pawn shop even though she knew it was stolen.

Wow, stealing from the neighbors. That's almost as bad as the time I stole my own watch from myself....
....
....
HEY -- GIVE ME THAT BACK!

Kids Steal Wii, Mom Arrested After Pawning It [wftv]

Thanks to GLiTCH, who once stole a woman's heart. Grody.

Jul 2 2009 Just Sad: 2-Year Old Smoking Cigarette

There's no way around it, this is just plain sad. And it would have been the most heartbreaking thing I'd ever seen all day if my little sister didn't get hit by a garbage truck. Kidding, streetsweeper.

China : 2yo Lights Up Cigarette And Smokes It. [liveleak]

Thanks to Weeze, who, slow down and take a breath man, it looks like you're about to die.

Jul 2 2009 The Aliens Are Watching Our TV Programming

alien tv 1.jpg

This is a little diagram showing how far our television broadcasts have traveled out into space already (I had to cut the image, full size version HERE). As you can see, the aliens orbiting Procyon are just about ready for some Sopranos action. Then, they'll smash their televisions because they're advanced enough to know there's nothing good coming after.

The Aliens of the Star Iota Horologii Are Just Watching Captain Kangaroo Now [gizmodo]

Thanks to Julian, who once made out with an alien chick while secretly watching a Friends rerun over her shoulder.

Jul 2 2009 Stupid Robots Can't Even Sing Happy Birthday

In honor of Canada Day yesterday and the 4th on Saturday, this is a video of three Wiffle-ball headed robots trying to sing happy birthday and failing so hard I almost felt bad. Almost. Just watch and listen. Did you hear that? It sounded like the one on the left was singing "die die die". IT NEARS!

Robots Sing Happy Birthday to UK Science Museum [robots.net] (who will be receiving a nasty email)

Thanks to Crimsonfox, who used to be Fusciafox until he painted himself to have better luck sneaking into the henhouse.

Jul 2 2009 You Gobble That Road: Pac-Man Mini Cooper

pacman 1.jpg

This is a Pac-Man themed Mini Cooper from The Cool Hunter. I can't tell if it's real but I'm leaning towards absolutely not. So, somebody Photoshopped a Mini Cooper -- how bout that? Hold on to your hats though, because there's a Space Invaders model after the jump. Now i know what you're thinking, and no, that wasn't me driving on the sidewalk last night (yes it was). I thought it was the bike lane!

Hit it real good.

Continue Reading " You Gobble That Road: Pac-Man Mini Cooper "

Jul 1 2009 Vroom Vroom Kabloom: 2,700 HP Jet Truck

vroom vroom kabloom.jpg

Chris Lentz, instead of going the classy route and getting a pair of truck nuts, decided to throw a Czech built Motorlet M-701 turbojet in the bed of his truck.

The fifty-five-year-old electrical foreman from Jackson, Michigan, had longed for a jet-powered truck for decades. Two years ago, Lentz discovered a way to realize his dream when he met a pilot from New York who imported used turbojet engines. After watching an example run on a test stand, Lentz paid $10,000 for one.

Unfortunately, it's pretty unimpressive.

Without jet assist, Lentz's 231-hp V-8 accelerated its 6600-pound burden (truck, jet engine, two occupants) to 60 mph in a sluggish 14.5 seconds.


The best of three runs in hybrid mode - exploiting both piston and jet propulsion - trimmed six seconds from the sprint to 60 mph. The quarter-mile speed jumped 30 mph and we achieved 140 mph after 45 seconds of acceleration.

Wow. You could probably tape bottle rockets to your bumper and go faster. Just sayin', HAPPY CANADA DAY! Somebody burn themself with a firework for me.

Video after the jump.

Continue Reading " Vroom Vroom Kabloom: 2,700 HP Jet Truck "

Jul 1 2009 eBay: The Ocarina of Time All White Meat

ocarina of all white meat.JPG

Lucky McDonalds customer 0iz0 just so happened to score the most covered of all chicken strips: the Ocarina of Thigh.

The shining beam of light accompanied by the melodic Zelda jingle blared out of the chicken select treasure box that was handed to me by a late night, tired, acne infested teenage boy as I opened it and discovered what lay in wait for me. Anyone who is a true Zelda fan must get this precious gem of unintentional craftsmanship! It will help you find your Zelda roots, and be just as much of a heroic mastermind as Link! Don't pass this opportunity, for I am certain you will be able to make great music and friends with this golden nugget!


This is your chance to own a piece of history!

Do not eat

*Licking fingers* Sorry, what was that last bit? TOOT TOOT TOOT TOOTLE TOOT!
eBay Auction

Thanks to VinnyC, who just played the Song of Deliciousness.

Jul 1 2009 Tiny Bloodbots To Crawl Around In Your Veins

bloodbot.jpg

Writing that title alone gave me heart trouble. It was hairy there for a minute, I almost Michael Jacksoned on you. Anyway, more robotic death. Remember: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unfortunately, these will kill you.

Researchers at the Israel Institute of Technology in Haifa have developed a miniature crawling robot, called ViRob, that can crawl through your lungs, find a tumor, and zap it with drugs. The bot, which is one millimeter long and four millimeters from end to end, can snake its way through the body, slipping into blood vessels and navigating through the respiratory and digestive systems


But thanks to tiny arms that help it grip vessel walls , ViRob is the first microbot that can tunnel between different body cavities. It's controlled by an electromagnetic field outside of the robot that creates a vibration that propels ViRob forward.

Wow, that's....wrong. And I, for one, refuse to piss robots.

The Tiny Robot that Can Crawl Through Your Veins--And Treat Your Tumors
[discovermagazine]

Thanks to msjessiemeghan, who, please wake me up and tell me it's just been a nightmare.

Jul 1 2009 Like I Don't Have Enough To Worry About: Mega Ant Colony Is Taking Over The World

ants taking over the world.jpg

Ant colonies, like rabbits, are cuddly prolific. So prolific, in fact, scientists have just discovered a single interrelated colony of Argentine ants that has populated much of the globe. ATTAAACK!

The colony may be the largest of its type ever known for any insect species, and could rival humans in the scale of its world domination.


While ants are usually highly territorial, those living within each super-colony are tolerant of one another, even if they live tens or hundreds of kilometres apart. Each super-colony, however, was thought to be quite distinct.

But it now appears that billions of Argentine ants around the world all actually belong to one single global mega-colony.

So they're all relatives. But way more so than say, you and I are. So....it's cool if I touch your butt, right? I mean it's not like we're ants or anything.

Ant mega-colony takes over world [bbcnews]

Thanks to Alistair and 2MechanicalArms, who may or may not have fire ants in their pants. They do, I put them there.

Jul 1 2009 Great: Japan Plans Another Giant Robot Statue

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Japan,

You know I love you. I love your sushi and your weird sexual fetishes. But what's up with the robot thing, bro? That shit ain't right. First Gundam and now a 59-foot Tetsujin 28-go (Gigantor)? I mean, I'm worried about you. One minute I'm in a diaper being spanked by a geisha (enjoying myself) and the next thing you know, BOOM, let's built a permanent giant robot statue in Kobe. Needless to say, I'm gonna have to reevaluate our relationship.

I hope we can work this out,

Your Geekologie Writer

P.S. Some more worn schoolgirl panties may help sway my decision.

Hit the jump for a 'making of' video.

Continue Reading " Great: Japan Plans Another Giant Robot Statue "

Jul 1 2009 Every Kid's Dream: Shopping Buggy Racecart

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Let's face it, we've all had the idea, but these folks actually followed through and did it. Not some halfassed job either, they actually made this thing legit (videos after jump). Oh man -- if only they had these on Supermarket Sweep...imagine the carnage!

Hit it for two videos showing off the impressiveness.

Continue Reading " Every Kid's Dream: Shopping Buggy Racecart "

Jul 1 2009 Video: Using 'The Force' To Levitate A Ball

This is a video of some guy from the New York Post getting to play around with the Star Wars Force Trainer that's set to hit the market in a few months. I posted it for two reasons: 1. the toy is cool and I want one badly and 2. I could have done a much better review. DAMNIT FOLKS, LET ME PLAY WITH THE NEW TOYS. I can review the hell out of things. I have opinions. People listen to me. Don't you? Don't you listen to -- ARE YOU WEARING HEADPHONES?! You are a dick. But seriously, buy this.

NY Post Video: Star Wars Force Trainer in action [dvice]

Jul 1 2009 Bacon Boys: Cutest Picture On The Planet?

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No, the one on the right is ruining it.

Product Site
(actually for fake gift box, indicating THIS might not be real either)

Thanks to Henry, Marley, Biff Tannen, quasievil, mrs. Willy, Herson, Kassie, Klay and whoever else may have sent this: even wrapped in lettuce, you'd still look good.