Jun 16 2009This Tastes Like Poison: Japan's Robot-Chefs
Japanese companies unveiled several new models of robotic-chefs at the recent Tokyo International Food Machinery and Tech Expo., and I, for one, am never eating out again. Kidding, ladies. Here's a breakdown of the video:
0:00 - 0:18: Pancake cooking robot sucks at flipping.
0:19 - 0:25: Robot sympathizer sympathizes with robots. You will not be saved.
0:26 - 0:39: Creepy looking realistic hand robot serves sushi, your fingers.
0:40 - 0:46: Depressed, engineer is depressed.
0:47 - 0:54: Crooked hat robot pleasures itself furiously with cucumber.
0:55 - 1:07: Segway-ass looking robot roofies your drink on it's way from the bar.
There you have it, I'm officially only eating PB&J sandwiches with ingredients processed in non-robotic factories. And if you think I'm joking you've got another thing coming. Namely, *POW* -- my fist.
Thanks to calluless, get100pens, This Is Me Posting, Kai, Marcy, Daniel, 24-bit whore, Julian, Jawn and Draw, who would rather starve to death than eat robot-food.
Reader Comments
1. mark - June 16, 2009 12:34 PM
1st
2. Jay - June 16, 2009 12:35 PM
FIRST!!
3. test - June 16, 2009 12:35 PM
@1 Damn you !
4. Jay - June 16, 2009 12:36 PM
frick. D:<
5. the heat - June 16, 2009 12:38 PM
Didn't you notice that that animated tray at the end was magically floating? That's not robot engineering; that's wizardry!
6. Funeral Balloons - June 16, 2009 12:45 PM
Hooray for less jobs!
7. Ocelot - June 16, 2009 12:50 PM
I love okonomiyaki!
8. Angel - June 16, 2009 12:54 PM
Did anyone else notice that the sushi-serving robobastard with fingers just happened to forget to wash his hands!?!
9. 3.14chan - June 16, 2009 1:00 PM
@9
Why would you need to wash your hands when you can clean it with gama radiation?
_________________
http://314chan.co.nr/
10. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - June 16, 2009 1:00 PM
@GW
I also hope the untisil you use to make your robot free sandwich was made in a robot free factory. Good luck with that. I also hope your therapist adjusts your medication to the proper level.
11. Pat - June 16, 2009 1:04 PM
Can Japan go to any expo without exhibiting some kind of robot?
12. STOMPY - June 16, 2009 1:05 PM
Gordon and robots sitting in a tree
K I S S I N G
I think
13. STOMPY - June 16, 2009 1:05 PM
Gordon and robots sitting in a tree
K I S S I N G
I
14. Pew³ - June 16, 2009 1:06 PM
@6 FIRST relavant post. Props to you!
I'm going to farm my own chickens, pigs and cows in my back yard. And I will ironsmith my own utinsils.
15. STOMPY - June 16, 2009 1:06 PM
what the deuce is going on with my cpu.... It doesn't like me talking smack about GFS or something?
16. Timbo - June 16, 2009 1:08 PM
Gordons a robot lover!
Robot lover!
robot lover robot lover robot lover robot lover...
17. Ollie Williams - June 16, 2009 1:09 PM
"0:47 - 0:54: Crooked hat robot pleasures itself furiously with cucumber."
I watched the video prior to reading the article, and I knew that was coming. Cheers GW, I love you, but not in a stalker-ish way.
PS- Your new living room furniture looks delightful from the bushes in your yard.
18. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - June 16, 2009 1:16 PM
11 - What if he uses his penis to make a sandwich? That would be robot free! Unless GW is a robot sent to distract us while his evil geekbots plot our destruction...
19. STOMPY - June 16, 2009 1:17 PM
wow, now i feel like going home and making a penut butter and jelly sandwhich my my johnson,
20. McCracken - June 16, 2009 1:38 PM
HOLY COW! This is just wrong.
Its best if you mix the peanut butter and jelly BEFORE you put them on bread. just fyi
21. naas - June 16, 2009 1:49 PM
@12 absolutely not
@18 too funny, I saw that coming also
"Segway-ass looking robot roofies your drink on it's way from the bar."
haha, that one is my favorite not because it'd serve me liquor but because I have no idea how it stays upright
22. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - June 16, 2009 2:00 PM
@19
That's definately some food for thought.
23. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - June 16, 2009 2:01 PM
@16
That's because I'm in your internets magic box killing all your gigs.
24. FIRSTTARD - June 16, 2009 2:37 PM
FIRST!
25. Rhialto - June 16, 2009 5:12 PM
Lol are these the Teppanyaki cooks of the future?
26. led screen - June 16, 2009 10:07 PM
....love it ..
27. Daisy - June 17, 2009 6:24 AM
FAKE!!!!
This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.
This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where MAx uses a stunt car to drivea girl home from a bar. Unfortunately for her, he goes out in the boonies and orchestrates a head on collision with another car killing everyone but him.
28. Jaded Icon - June 17, 2009 7:30 AM
I can sympathize GW. I have been roofied many times........by dinosaurs! Which I don't understand cuz all they have to do is ask....
29. Kelehendros - June 17, 2009 9:47 AM
horay for robots!
30. The Grey John - June 18, 2009 5:06 AM
the crooked hat robot. priceless. just keep him away from small children schools. and me. ...on second thought...