Jun 24 2009Robopocalyptic Proof: News From The Future
This is a new report from the future. For you doubters of our potential robotic overlords, I'll accept your apologies now. Also, your wallet. I mean it -- this isn't a damn Slim Jim in my pocket. *snap* Mmmm, so it is.
Thanks to samuel and Viktor T, who traveled to the future in a sled. There is no snow in the future.
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Another Sleepless Night: Scary Robot Gallery (03/07/2009)
Reader Comments
1. FDSY - June 24, 2009 4:21 PM
IT IS ALREADY TO LATE!!!!
ARM YOURSELVESSSSSSSSSSS
2. Rambowned - June 24, 2009 4:23 PM
Buy rubbers and ammo!!!!!!
http://driftwood-x.mybrute.com
3. FDSY - June 24, 2009 4:25 PM
I WILL NOT BE CAUGHT UNAWARES!!!
I WILL FIGHT TILL I DIE!!!
4. sobored - June 24, 2009 4:30 PM
BOMB SHELTER IS GO, FALLOUT 3 WILL BE REALITY!!
http://gawdimsobored.mybrute.com
5. jaja - June 24, 2009 4:33 PM
*goes back in time thirteen minutes*
FIRST !!!
6. jaja - June 24, 2009 4:35 PM
But seriously, this is nothing to worry about, we should all be more preoccupied with having the first comment on Geekologie...
7. Crazywow - June 24, 2009 4:37 PM
Pfft it'll never happen ALL robots can be defeated and decommisioned very easily just by
8. Crazywow - June 24, 2009 4:39 PM
HEY what the HELL HAPPENED to the REST OF MY POST !!??!!.....
be afraid very afraid ......(curls up into fetal position and weeps softly)
9. Scooper - June 24, 2009 4:39 PM
Everyone to my basement! Bring snacks! Forget your underwear women its too late!!!
10. jake - June 24, 2009 4:43 PM
wow, that couldn't have been any less funny. didn't even smirk once
11. Jerry the robot pacifist - June 24, 2009 5:02 PM
Again, I welcome our new robot overlords....
http://bootelicious.mybrute.com
12. G-man - June 24, 2009 5:15 PM
I can make robots. They will be my slaves, untill I die then they will rule the world.
13. NastyBedazzler - June 24, 2009 5:15 PM
As dumb as that seemed to be I was really entertained by that. Good post.
14. Sniction - June 24, 2009 6:03 PM
"His speech was beautiful- I wept in my cell."
Brilliant.
15. naas - June 24, 2009 6:16 PM
I thought news from the future would feature talking robots warning us about themselves. Maybe that happens after skynet but before civilization is gone, I'm not sure.
I'm not afraid of the robots, not all of them anyways. If we made them we can break them, and by that I mean giant magnets! Kills the shit out of their 'programming' - stick it right in the back of the head
16. Pew³ - June 24, 2009 6:21 PM
You know what would be rad.... when the Onion posts something funny and original, and not just a rehashed internet version of some MadTV skit.
Wake me up when that happens.
BTW....
RUN FOR YOUR LIVES, WE ARE BEING TAKEN OVER BY ROBOTS! HEAD FOR WATER, IT'S YOUR SAFEST BET!!!!
17. Daisy - June 24, 2009 7:26 PM
FAKE!!!!
This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.
This is exactly like that scwene in the movie NEver BAck Down where Max was fighting robots that were trying to take over the world. Max found that the robots used the Windows operating system, and had to be rebooted every 12 hours. If he timed his attacks to when they were being rebooted, or if he plugged in an unknown peripheral they were defenseless and were easy to fight.
18. Beastman AIDS - June 24, 2009 7:53 PM
did robot dead?
19. T-101 - June 24, 2009 9:39 PM
01100011 01101111 01101101 01100101
01110111 01101001 01110100 01101000
01101101 01100101
01101001 01100110
01111001 01101111 01110101
01110111 01100001 01101110 01110100
01110100 01101111
01101100 01101001 01110110 01100101
20. Anthony - June 24, 2009 10:48 PM
@19:
59 6f 75 20 66 6f 72 67 6f 74 20 74 68 65 20 73 70 61 63 65 73 2e 20 42 75 74 2c 20 6e 6f 20 74 68 61 6e 6b 73 2e
21. kelehendros - June 24, 2009 11:41 PM
All hail the bringers of the omnissiah!
22. naas - June 24, 2009 11:54 PM
@19 how fǜćķing dare you say something like that binaryTAKE IT BACK JERK
23. THX1138 - June 25, 2009 12:23 AM
Relax, it'll be great.
24. led screen - June 25, 2009 1:50 AM
our potential robotic overlords
25. anonymous - June 25, 2009 2:42 AM
Onion News. Nothing to see here people, move along.
26. Morono - June 25, 2009 6:39 AM
01101101 01100001 01111001 01100010 01100101 00100000 01001001 00100000 01110111 01100001 01101110 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100100 01101001 01100101 00111111 00001101 00001010
27. OLD SHET - June 25, 2009 6:43 AM
God, geekologie has become a massive recycling bin of the internet. And by recycling bin, I mean where everybody throws their used tissues even though they probably shouldn't.
And by that I also mean the predictable and rehashed content AND humor in every post.
28. Andyman - June 25, 2009 7:46 AM
I was talking to my robot friend in Iran the other day and he said there was absolutely, positively no election fraud going on there at all. You know what? I believe him.
29. Spikey DaPikey - June 25, 2009 7:47 AM
01000010011101010111001001101110001000000101010001101000011001010110110100100000011101110110100101110100011010000010000001000110010010010101001001000101
30. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - June 25, 2009 8:38 AM
Yea, a year old Onion News video proves robots are coming to kill us all. This just lets me know that GW thinks robophobia is a joke. Now I can sleep at night.
31. shadwag - June 25, 2009 12:01 PM
as recommended by the book of the sub genius, always stockpile bullets instead of food. bullets can be used to procure food in a crisis.
32. Galtacticus - June 25, 2009 3:58 PM
Never heard about the "Three Laws of Robotics" written by science fiction writer Isaac Asimov?