Jun 2 2009PEW PEW!: World's Strongest Laser Unveiled
The world's strongest laser was unveiled in California last week. It's not actually a single laser though, it's 192 individual ones all focused on the same spot. Cheating! It's going to be used to ensure the US nuclear weapon stockpile is still functional in case Russia starts bitching out. Also, some space shit.
The super laser, officially known as the National Ignition Facility, was unveiled Friday before thousands of people at the Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory.
Beginning next year scientists will use the laser for experiments aimed at creating controlled fusion reactions similar to those found in the sun."More energy will be produced by this ignition process than the amount of laser energy required to start it. This is the long-sought goal of energy gain that has been the goal of fusion researchers for more than half a century," said NIF director Edward Moses.
'National Ignition Facility'? That's the worst name ever. Why wasn't there a contest to get to name the thing? Because it'll always be the PEWINATOR to me. Which, haha, is the same thing I named my junk penis. But seriously, don't stare directly at it.
World's strongest laser unveiled at Calif. lab [sfgate]
Thanks to Watch-303, catch22, Luis, Doug, Hunter and Phil, who did stare directly at it and paid the price. $10.
Reader Comments
1. Pepe La PEWPEW - June 2, 2009 10:22 AM
JUNK SHOT !!!!!!
2. Strabo - June 2, 2009 10:22 AM
FIRST! PEW PEW
3. Strabo - June 2, 2009 10:23 AM
gods damn it all *shoots Pepe La PEWPEW with my even bigger man laser*
4. FunkyNutbar - June 2, 2009 10:30 AM
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- 192 Pews, just like the super laser. Enjoy
5. Pewinator - June 2, 2009 10:34 AM
Damn you GW... that's been MY name since 1974...
6. Spikey DaPikey - June 2, 2009 10:38 AM
Wonder if there gonna shoot dino's with it. or Robots ?
7. naas - June 2, 2009 10:47 AM
I'm not sure which will end the planet first, this laser malfunctioning (falling off it's frame) and cutting the world in half or fermilab's atom collision disaster of 2011 where someone will hit the 'reverse' button while at full throttle
8. DeeplyTroubled - June 2, 2009 10:50 AM
What's this now? Unlimited energy, like from the sun? Did I wake up this morning to find all the world's problems have been solved? If this is true then I'm going back to bed.
(And no, I didn't read the article.)
9. naas - June 2, 2009 10:53 AM
I bet lining up 192 angry venom fueled chickens and shooting them would burn a hole in something
10. STOMPY - June 2, 2009 10:53 AM
Maybe we can use this laser to attack the black hole that cern will create someday... or we can just give these to monkeys and watch the hillarity ensue...
11. Uncle Eccoli - June 2, 2009 11:00 AM
Testing nuclear stockpiles is all well and fine, but it's the potential applications in fusion development that gets me all moist.
12. Pew³ - June 2, 2009 11:01 AM
WHO HAS AWAKENED ME FROM MY SLUMBER!
13. Alex - June 2, 2009 11:07 AM
For those who want to know: "The NIF, the size of a football field, consists of 192 separate laser beams, each traveling 1,000 feet in one-thousandth of a second to converge simultaneously on a target the size of a pencil eraser"
But it doesn't say how far it goes after that...
14. DeeplyTroubled - June 2, 2009 11:16 AM
Why would they want to destroy pencils erasers?
15. Pew³ - June 2, 2009 11:18 AM
I've been busy at work lately. Never too busy to check out a few PEW's!
Especially when GW uses a Death Star picture.
PEW PEW PEW!
16. Homer_J - June 2, 2009 11:19 AM
Warning label on laser:
"Do not stare directly at beam with remaining good eye"
17. FIRSTTARD - June 2, 2009 11:51 AM
FIRST!
18. catch22 - June 2, 2009 11:51 AM
yay...internet famous
*hopes mom is proud*
19. Watch-303 - June 2, 2009 11:56 AM
GW, you were supposed to post the actual pic of it,its a yellow laser
20. Watch-303 - June 2, 2009 11:57 AM
but GW did use the caption I put in the email I sent him :)
21. Captain - June 2, 2009 11:57 AM
Must See!!!
http://captain-hash.mybrute.com
--------------------------------------------
22. catch22 - June 2, 2009 11:59 AM
@20
actually watch i used the exact same header in the email
im sure everyone did (even using it twice instead of 3x)
careful people might think we are twins... or an altar
23. dubba - June 2, 2009 12:01 PM
I can hear Arnold now
"ITZ NOT A TUMOR!"
24. d0m0v01 - June 2, 2009 12:09 PM
Am I the only one that sees that this will be used by the robots to destroy mankind or at the very least used to burn holes in all our underwear.
25. steve - June 2, 2009 12:19 PM
looks like something i've seen before....Hello Death Star
26. Andyman - June 2, 2009 1:05 PM
The super laser, officially known as the National Ignition Facility, was unveiled Friday before thousands of people at the Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory. There were no survivors.
27. Jon H - June 2, 2009 1:58 PM
Actually, it *is* one laser, at the beginning. One weak infrared laser get split into dozens of beams, each of which is amplified by billions of times, and then each of those beams is split, and each of those beams is amplified many times, and then they go through crystals that change their frequency and push them into the ultraviolet range, and then the 192 beams converge at one point.
28. Galtacticus - June 2, 2009 3:09 PM
How do they know for sure this is the world's strongest laser? Where's my tv-remote? Is it that yellow box?
29. dougie - June 2, 2009 3:29 PM
he says they can get more enrgy out than the energy they put in in the first place. I thought that was impossible? or does my science-inept brain fail me again?
30. Quik - June 2, 2009 4:19 PM
@14 and 26 -Ha ha
31. Martha Focker - June 2, 2009 4:34 PM
Has anyone seen spider man 2...yea that's what's gonna happen and then giant robots with tentacles are gonna go around eat everyone...we're all gonna die...i think i'm gonna auction off my virginity...any bids...anyone...crap this sucks...o well...
32. Kyle - June 2, 2009 5:07 PM
I was there on saturday and got a tour of it by the director moses (very cool guy btw). it's power usage is rated in the TERAWATTS and can use as much as the entire US electrical grid in only several nanoseconds.
33. Jaded Icon - June 2, 2009 6:16 PM
No one tell COBRA about this or there will be trouble. Go JOE!
34. Wilco - June 2, 2009 7:48 PM
Why 192? it seems like an odd number. Like the guys down at NIF were pushing for 200 but some bureaucrat was all "Hellz no, Nerds! U get 190 tops."
Nerds: "OH YEAH? Well we are gunna put on 192!" And then proceed to blow up pencil erasers. Good on ya nerds with lazers.
35. CHARGIN' MAH LAZURS - June 2, 2009 7:51 PM
Because no one has made the reference yet i feel i must.
FIRIN' MAH LAZUR!!!!!!
36. JJtoob - June 2, 2009 7:53 PM
@29: I think that when you read it over again you might come to the same conclusion as I did: That the energy needed to start the PROCESS is smaller than the energy produced by the PROCESS. Which, seriously, scientists didn't know how to do that? Pulling the pin of a grenade takes very little energy compared to the energy released by it once it explodes. So did we really learn something new? Ah oh yeah, I've used a magnifying glass to focus the sun's rays into a smaller area, so yeah, what do they get paid for? Burning ants?
37. Caffe - June 2, 2009 10:52 PM
Woooot! My brother worked on that project!
38. rachel - June 3, 2009 12:36 AM
this is when SF becomes realityyy....
39. Jaded Icon - June 3, 2009 8:12 AM
In a world where giant lasers are real, in a world where rachel uses too many y's, in a world where smartass commenters control GW behind the scenes....you will find GRAMMARNAZI! He patrols the streets (looking for crack) and fights crime (for crack).
40. Captain - June 3, 2009 8:43 AM
Must See!!!
http://captain-hash.mybrute.com
--------------------------------------------
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