Jun 12 2009Comfort Wipe: Holding Toilet Paper In Your Hand Is "Really Archaic And Disgusting"

First!!!

After you are done, don't press the button and release the toilet paper. Instead take it around the office and show it to all your co-workers.

LOL I guess today is FAIL day. Thanks for the laugh.

That thing is balls!

http://driftwood-x.mybrute.com

I wish they should make something that allows me to jerk it without having to worry about my hand touching my dirty weiner.

lol... I had to check again to see if the woman at 0:22 was actually using a comfort wipe as a shower brush. She wasn't.

That thing doesn't seem comfortable.

Billy Mays here... That's a piece of shit. Trust me I can spot a winner.

Signed, Shamwow guy

FAKE!!!!

This is a complete photoshop job. you can tell its a fake because the shadowe'd are all wrong.

This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max helped his neighbor work on a product that would make dog poo dissapear. Right before his neighbor perfected it Max argued with him said he didn't want any part of that stupid poo eraser. When the neighbor got the sham wow guy to sell it and make him a fortune he was jealous.

Sure, that thing looks handy while you're standing in front of the crapper, but what about when you're actually sitting on it? You'll probably get poo all over yourself trying to release the toilet paper so you can pull it back out of your netherlands and load back up for a second wipe......

It's the ultimate weapon!
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=23646109

0:53 serious nanny accent right there I tell ya. She may be in new york but funny - she doesn't look druish

I would like to see a demonstration

Why? I guess I'll check out the vid when I get home and see if this makes more sense then. I doubt it will though.

wow, so sad.. this'll probably double the amount of time on the toilet..trying to figure out how to use it and trying to keep the TP on the stupid thing.

"Being a big guy has it's advantges"

you can destroy a chinese buffet
you can destroy a public restroom
you train yourself to think that strippers REALLY do think big guys are cute
you have your own place to shop at clothing stores
and now....you get your own poo stick!

Thanks bad thyroid!

I don't get it. You must have a torso twice as long as the rest of you or really really short arms to need this apparatus.

What if you accidentally wipe yourself with the plastic? Then you would have to handwash the thing in the sink.

The whole thing is a stupid concept, but the mechanics of it take it to the next level in stupidity.

Darwin Awards

FAIL!! This post fails on so many levels. Who the hell cares!?

This is just like when Lonestar tried to get the people of Druidia to try his spiffy new invention for cleaning up Mog shit. It was a massive fail because Mogs know how to use a toilet and are easily trained to do so. If you give them a Milk Bone biscuit, they'll pretty much do anything you need them to. Even pilot an interstellar Winnebago while you search for Yogurt.

oh, dear effin lord..is this for real? next step will be vibrating Comfort Wipe Plus. invention fit for a king..my ass

Please...Please...Please...Tell me this is a Photoshop job!

@5

they did, it's called a woman

*rimshot*

you know how dogs lick their own bumholes?

get a dog and a doggie treat.............

Here Fido, gooooooooooood boy........you missed a bit!

Daisy I think you are right, they photoshopped her clothes back on... TAKE YER TOP OFF!!!

If you think you need the "comfort wipe", then you need to "get a grip".

Get it?

Ha, I made a funny.

Ugh. That is all.

http://www.sashimi-tidbits.com/

Can someone explain to me the advantages of being a fatass?

0.51 You WILL respect my dig na TAY!
1.12 If you're someone who doesn't want to touch dirty toilet paper? Funny, I tend to touch the part of the toilet paper that ISN'T COVERED IN SHIT

I LOVE YOU.

I'm not a 13 year old girl, as the e-mail address might indicate, but rather that's my lucky number. And no, I'm not a goth, pagan, or witch, or affiliated with any other religious group. I worship you.

LOL! Okay, that last remark was a lie, I just really enjoy visiting your website, and I visit every day now, and have for the last two months or so. Or more. I guess that is kind of stalkerish, but you have nothing to fear, I live in Canada and wouldn't leave here for the United States for any amount of money in the world.

However, if you have an amount in mind, e-mail me, and I'll consider. And remember, the more 0's, the better your chances of having a 'marriage of convenience' to a Canadian. Free Health Care. Need I write more?

A must have for morbid obese people!

@5 Surprised no one mentioned this, but...

fleshlight. That is all.

im sorry but...... WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!?!?!

"being a big guy has it's advantages..." WTF?

Shower brush?

If I wanted an 18" wand to wipe my ass with, I'd just stick some tissue paper in my pee hole!

Ha ha!!!

I made another funny!

i would imagine that would be helpful if you were a dwarf, but otherwise. . .

Um, No.

ZOMG, allows you to maintain your dignity?

*ring ring*
Hello, I'd like to purchase your ass wiper please :D

@30 and 5

Also called a pocket pussy.

Rush Limbaugh has already ordered six of them.

EWWWW!

Hey...how would that work without getting the whole apparatus dirty?

So really who puts their fingers in their asshole to wipe that this had to be invented?

@ 6: I had to back that up & re-watch it just to make sure that they weren't trying to promote it as multi-functional. Then I dragged a coworker over to show them this commercial.

Ugh... now I've got a bad mental image of someone trying to use that thing as a back scrubber & finding dingleberries on their back later on.

If you need one of these, it won't be long before the Fire Department is cutting a wall off your house to get a crane in to lift your 1000 lb self out of the house.

Being a Big Guy Advantages:

Never cold, not even in New England winters.
Always get shotgun in a car.
Can claim to be tough, when really, you're just big.
Can indulge in food guilt-free, since you probably wont get noticeably worse.

Next big E-bay bidding war....
Oprah's comfort wipe....stolen by O.J. then given to Dr. phil as a birthday present and finally found it's way to a Britney Spears garage sale where someone bought it for $5.00 and had been using it as a microphone to rehearse the song they're going to sing to get onto American Idol.

It's an aubesian!! I wonder if they sell it at Aubesians and Such. If you don't know what I am talking about, you clearly don't watch enough centaur porn.

yeah now you get clean hands and a not so clean bottom.

Does John McCain have one of these?

I have a serious question on this. If the customers of this wonderful product don't want to touch toilet paper even if we're obviously talking about the clean side... how the heck do they WASH their butts while they're showering?? To do so they should have to DIRECTLY TOUCH their own butts, and that is so archaic and disgusting! Do they have another magic stick with a sponge at the end? Do they pay another person to do it? Do they have a special 3cm thick glove? I'd be curious to know.

Must See!!!

http://captain-hash.mybrute.com

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I'd like to know what WAS the improvement to toilet paper in the 1880s?

I think I'll hold out for the three seashells.

ok i WOULD REALLY LIKE TO KNOW what was that freaking improvement in the 80's WHAT WAS IT?

if those people could not reach to their butts until now using this thing, what the hell did they do? walk around pooped? used a hanger? makes no sense,

The advantages of being a big person:

you can be:
sumo wrestler
football player
stunt man
super sized model
you get to go to "the biggest loser"
CHUBBY CHASERS
all you can eat buffets, "cici's pizza"

disadvantages
cant see your pee pee
cant wipe your butt

...FAKE..!!! that last remark was a lie

Blame it on idle minds ....

This product sucks arse
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Come and join the short and easy game mybrute:

http://burpnassker.mybrute.com

The game takes less than 5 minutes to play!

wow i really hope that isnt a real product.

http://taxiart.ca

18 inch? Body following curves?

Sounds like something people will buy for anal sex, not anal cleaning...

Man, I want Billy Mays!!!

http://nightbringer101.mybrute.com

they make fat people products?

maybe we could go the european route and use bidets, they use water to do the cleaning for you but never really caught on outside of europe

Is our society so fat and lazy that we are incapable of wiping our own asses now....armageddon i think it is time now

@60: actually we have toilet paper too, so bide comes after paper. It'd be a little gross if it would completely replace it :)
So here comes a new question: are bidets really archaic and disgusting?

@52

5 bonus points for demolition man reference

such complicated machinery...demonstration plox? :-(

@28... you're really disturbed.
@4, 11, 50, 55, 56, 58... leaving external links like that in your comments is really assholish.

... and don't even get me started on that Daisy bitch.

What's happening to the comments section here anyway? It's falling all to hell. Can't a guy come on here and discuss plastic ass wipes without being bombarded by all this other crap?

"for over 100 years we've been scrunching and folding ..."

it clearly looks like you still have to fold the toilet paper before you put it on this thing. Whats even the point of putting that in?

I wouldn't want to clean that handle bar.

Is this an SNL sketch or something?? wtf is wrong with these people... they should have made it like a prosthetic arm extension or something...
btw i use my bidet -*squirt*- so refreshing

Fat people should not be comfortable with being fat! From now on no more "comfort" products. What happened to the good old days when everything we did was to make people ashamed of who they were.........ah the good old days....

Ok, after actually seeing the video, I now see the point of this product. Old people need clean asses too. And maybe when you're 80, you don't want some creepy assistant with their fingers near your cornhole.

Is it time for my monthly bath again??

You need to get a hand held bathroom bidet sprayer and you will be in Heaven. For those of us who really like to be clean it is the best invention since the toilet. It is so much better than a stand alone bidet and this is why: 1. It's less expensive (potentially allot less) 2. You can install in yourself = no plumber expense 3. It works better by providing more control of where the water spray goes and a greater volume of water flow. 4. It requires no electricity and there are few things that can go wrong with it. 5. It doesn't take up any more space, many bathrooms don't have room for a stand alone bidet. 6. You don’t have to get up and move from the toilet to the bidet which can be rather awkward at times to say the least. Available at http://www.bathroomsprayers.com

Alright folks, here it is - the Comfort Wipe spoof...
http://tinyurl.com/ComfortableStick
:D

#51 I'd like to know what WAS the improvement to toilet paper in the 1880s?

Splinter-free toilet paper.