Jun 18 2009Aperture Laboratories Van Spotted In The Wild
"Hey kids, who wants free cake?!"
aperture science van tooling around, scaring the hell out of people [technabob]
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Reader Comments
1. manati - June 18, 2009 2:31 PM
First! hot van too!
2. Ajax - June 18, 2009 2:31 PM
Hi!
3. Billy Rapture - June 18, 2009 2:36 PM
Id get hit by that.
4. naas - June 18, 2009 2:37 PM
I'm in your forest, takin your critters
5. gizmoduck - June 18, 2009 2:37 PM
i'd hit it
6. Agent Mark - June 18, 2009 2:38 PM
NOTICE TO POSTERS: The Federal Bureau of Investigation has logged a record of this board along with the IP addresses of the participants due to potential violations to US Law. VIOLATION: Distribution and Possession of Child Pornography. IMPORTANT WARNING: If you think that this board was logged in error, please state your reasons to the F.B.I Agent currently monitoring this board and quote reference number #2637489129. Failure to do so within the next 2 minutes will result in your IP address being entered into our criminal database and legal action. Your IP address has been logged by the Child Internet Service Protection Agency. Please wait while memory ref code "4729384" is entered into the database.
7. Anon - June 18, 2009 2:42 PM
@ 6
How, exactly, is a panel van from a video game's laboratory linked to child porn?
Agent Mark is a spammer. His name link takes you to 4chan's image board. You, sir are the real pornography possessor. Have a nice day, asswipe.
8. G-man - June 18, 2009 2:47 PM
The end is near, they build robots you know!
9. WIN - June 18, 2009 2:55 PM
WIN!
10. Moose Knuckle - June 18, 2009 3:00 PM
Agent Mark is actually PedoBear,
And he wants his van back.
11. Tyler - June 18, 2009 3:01 PM
Lol Starting bid $5!
12. 1st, 2nd, 3rd Police - June 18, 2009 3:19 PM
Very Cool HL/CS/Portal RULE !!!!!
13. Ollie Williams - June 18, 2009 3:25 PM
...I don't get it.
14. doctor who? - June 18, 2009 3:27 PM
Does this mean we get to play an abducted child in the next game? If so I would love to be thier new daddy but we would need a hot mom with huge knockers. Ladies?
15. Jim - June 18, 2009 3:27 PM
There is no cake.
16. -Lmega5- - June 18, 2009 3:27 PM
,,,I don't get it.
17. Daisy - June 18, 2009 3:31 PM
FAKE!!!!
This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.
This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max and his friend started a pet grooming service that they did in their van. They decorated the van to look like a dog's head, with ears and everything.
They found a suitcase with money in it and were driving to Denver to return it to the owner. They peed in empty beer bottles on on the way to save time.
One time they got pulled over by the police, and the police accused them of drinking and driving. They saisd there wasn't beer int he bottles, and the cop insisted on taste testing it to prove his point.
18. lolatsix - June 18, 2009 3:36 PM
lol @ 6
memory reference's aren't integers, you fail at impersonating. memory refs always refer to byte offesets in the 0x00 notation
FAIL
19. Leppy - June 18, 2009 3:43 PM
@6
Good thing I'm using my neighbors internet right now, eh?
20. Leppy - June 18, 2009 3:46 PM
Also, the cake is a lie.
I love portal :3
21. ~zeus~ - June 18, 2009 3:57 PM
i don't get it!
22. zonalpony - June 18, 2009 4:01 PM
they do what they must because they can
23. Tyler - June 18, 2009 4:18 PM
You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.
24. jp - June 18, 2009 4:22 PM
Aperture Truck: The Movie
"Sup dude, find a job yet?"
"Nope"
"...Yeah. Hey, sweet! you put the Aperture logo on your van! Lets drive around!"
"Yeah maybe people 'll get our obscure references."
"Our best bet would be to drive past the high school. Those kids will 'get it'."
:Police squad car slowly follows white laboratory van driving past schools. Pew pewing shortly ensues:
25. Anon - June 18, 2009 4:39 PM
I've never played portal (would love to) but guess Aperture is the evil organisation in the game trying to take over the world?
26. Terri - June 18, 2009 4:43 PM
@26:
lol, it's the company that you're doing the Portal experiments for. You see, the point of the game is to go through these experiments for Aperture, and you use the portals to accomplish your goals.
27. Anon - June 18, 2009 5:12 PM
Thanks Terri,
Are they evil?
It doesn't sound like it so why would people be scared?
I'm so confused.
*possible spoiler*
Cake isn't that the name of the computer? and isn't that evil in the end, it has a womans voice?
28. Breakup Makeup - June 18, 2009 5:33 PM
..............................................
http://www.breakupmakeup.com
29. Guy who knows stuff - June 18, 2009 5:34 PM
@ 28
Aperture is a military contractor and is competing with Black Mesa, that's why they developed the portal gun, to get the contract, you play as a test subject named Chell and are guided through the challenges by the computer GLaDos, who promises you cake at the end of the tests, but the cake turns out to be a lie.
30. Anon - June 18, 2009 5:49 PM
#30 thanks
A rival to black mesa, oh dear.
sounds good.
31. meme - June 18, 2009 6:41 PM
This post is too geeky for me. I have no clue what they are referring to. If I saw the van I wouldn't even remember it.
32. McCracken - June 18, 2009 6:47 PM
I don't get it! D=
and yes some cake sounds good.
33. Anon - June 18, 2009 6:49 PM
It's referencing a computer game called portal
34. Jiakasuma - June 18, 2009 6:49 PM
WUH?
35. annie - June 18, 2009 6:54 PM
This is your fault. I'm going to kill you. And all the cake is gone. You don't even care.
36. Me - June 18, 2009 7:07 PM
Haha! I loved that game.... pity the 'cake' got burnt :P
37. Agent 365 - June 18, 2009 7:39 PM
i killed my companion cube :'(
38. austinkk - June 18, 2009 7:54 PM
wouldnt that mean they opened a portal to the real world?
39. jimmy - June 18, 2009 8:35 PM
@ 39 like in doomsday arcade?
40. GLADIATOR - June 18, 2009 8:56 PM
@ 16 and 22 ... Neither do I.
*
*
*
Come and join the short and easy game mybrute:
http://burpnassker.mybrute.com
The game takes less than 5 minutes to play!
41. led panel - June 18, 2009 9:45 PM
I wanna but where i can get ?
42. sadelis - June 19, 2009 3:40 AM
THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE!
where's my companion cube? *whimper*
43. Guy from post 30 - June 19, 2009 4:09 AM
@ above
There was a party, all you had to do was assume the proper party submission decision, buy you didn't. I even invited your friend the Aperture Science Weighted Companion Cube, but you murdered him. Its all your fault, and also someone cut the cake, i told them to wait for you, but they wouldn't listen. Now it is all gone.
Goodbye!
44. jelomulawin - June 19, 2009 7:35 AM
ANYBODY HERE PLAYED PORTAL???????????????????????????????????????????
45. Ickorus - June 19, 2009 7:45 AM
@ 44 Its the party submission position.
Also the cake wasn't a lie, i was the one that cut it.
46. Darth - June 19, 2009 6:14 PM
Maybe it's a delivery van for shower curtains.Who cares anyway?
47. darkavenger63 - June 19, 2009 6:25 PM
The Cake is a lie!!!
i love portal i must have!!!
48. Johan Draaisma - July 26, 2009 9:14 AM
Awesome, that was the van Fragsoc used to drive to Dreamhack in Sweden. I even drove the van myself :o)