Jun 10 2009Aaaah!: Israeli Army To Deploy Robot Snakes
Well folks, based on the tips I've been getting, it looks like today might turn into Robot Apocalypse Awareness Day (RAAD -- which is ironic, because this is far from the power of sick). Long story short: it's probably best to empty your bowels now. So, apparently the Israeli army has been working on the development of creepy robot snakes (not to be confused with these ones) for use in battle. Not cool. Also, they may need to brush up on their Photoshop skills if they were trying to inconspicuously remove the power cord from that picture.
Well, apparently, the snake's physical attributes and all-terrain mobility advantages haven't gone unnoticed by the Israeli military. The Jerusalem Post is reporting that the Israel Defense Forces (IDF) have introduced an all-terrain snake-like recon robot/UGV (Unmanned Ground Vehicle) a.k.a. robotic snake or "robot snake" to crawl around the battlefield looking for the enemy and potential targets. If it locates the enemy, the robot snake can then slither up to the enemy/target and record audio and video of that target, and then slither right back off.
There is even talk of packing the things with explosives (making them much more like my snake) so you can detonate your enemies from afar. You know, just like that computer game Worms, except nothing like that at all. More like that game Oh Shit What the Eff Are You Thinking, Israel?!. Yeah, just like that one.
Hit the jump for a video of the snake in action.
IDF's New Camouflaged Robotic Snake ("Robot Snake") Slithers into Combat: Reconnaissance Robots Get Sneaky...Real Sneaky. [defensereview]
Thanks to Robb, Dan, Mark, sponge for ladies, Bwgan, Jon, Bob the builder, D.M. and h3llbring3r, who must think it's funny to watch me dive under the bed and douse myself with anti-robot spray.
Reader Comments
1. kp - June 10, 2009 11:02 AM
first?
2. Que - June 10, 2009 11:02 AM
Que scared of snakes.
3. Ignatius J. Reily - June 10, 2009 11:03 AM
looks like my robot penis
4. Pat - June 10, 2009 11:09 AM
LOL that video was classic.
"This snake, also known as a robot..."
"The new weapon was inspired by snakes."
On the plus side, the thing looks like a crappy stop-motion puppet.
5. Daisy - June 10, 2009 11:09 AM
FAKE!!!!
This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.
This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max meets an israli commando who is working at a beauty salon. Later the skinheads try to stasrt trouble between the Jews and Palestines and Max puts out a fire with a tank of hummus sauce.
6. jumpin_j - June 10, 2009 11:18 AM
I'm okay as long as they don't put them motherf****n snake on no planes!!!
7. SPE825 - June 10, 2009 11:20 AM
That's thing's gotta make a ton of noise moving through the grass like that. About as stealthy as a rock through a window.
8. dubba - June 10, 2009 11:24 AM
im torn between lame unoriginal design and how awesome it would be to send a pile of those things slithering into my ex's girage armed wiht c4
itd be like in "wanted" only with robosnakes instead of live rats
9. Richard McBeef - June 10, 2009 11:25 AM
I can't even express how bad I want to kill one of those things.
10. kreeblicus - June 10, 2009 11:28 AM
i though the israeli army had a really high budget. looks like it was made by a bunch of failing chimpanzoologists on crack.
11. kreebilicus - June 10, 2009 11:30 AM
also, if that's a sign of what our impending robotic overlords will be then i shouldn't be too perturbed.
12. Captain - June 10, 2009 11:30 AM
Must See!!!
http://captain-hash.mybrute.com
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13. roflmao - June 10, 2009 11:32 AM
i love the comment bout the photoshop skillz
14. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - June 10, 2009 11:34 AM
I'll bet GW has two in his trousers right now. That's how he's able to braide his penises.
15. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - June 10, 2009 11:37 AM
Kill a robot fish, kill a robot frog, then i ride off on my robot dog!
16. QUASIMODEM - June 10, 2009 11:41 AM
Filthy jewbags, what use do they have for this? All their military does is bulldoze children.
17. naas - June 10, 2009 11:44 AM
aaaaahhHHHH snakes, ROBOT SNAKES AAAAHHHH
18. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - June 10, 2009 11:47 AM
*braid
stupid e
19. Leonidas - June 10, 2009 12:02 PM
@15: ♪the creation of Dr Light or Right if you live in Japaaan♫
20. Elboroto - June 10, 2009 12:06 PM
First, the British create SKYNET to control the communication of their drones.
Then, the Israeli create Robot Snakes, AKA hydrobots.
I can't wait to see a T-800!!! Wait, it would probably kill me.
Stop them!!!
21. mike literous - June 10, 2009 12:07 PM
@16
charlie uniform november tango
(take that swear filter)
look ma, i learnt how to reference properly !
22. McCracken - June 10, 2009 12:18 PM
This is very creepy. Snakes creep me out big time.
@6 it's "any plane" not "no plane" get it right fool.
23. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - June 10, 2009 12:19 PM
21 - Cünt.
24. BK - June 10, 2009 12:22 PM
The Israelis' actual plan for these is to cram them into empty cans of peanuts and ship them to their enemies on pallets. The enemy goes to open said can, thinking it's filled with tasty nuts, and BAM! Snake in the face.
25. mike literous - June 10, 2009 12:27 PM
@23
nice job fella, but would it work if you were describing @16 by radio?
26. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - June 10, 2009 12:30 PM
The elusive trouser snake hunts it's prey. Using Alchohol to stimulate the wary female's reproductive organs, it does it's mating dance. Hoping to stand out among the other snakes in the grass, it draws blood into it's head in an effort to appear larger than it is. The female isn't responding, so the male poors more alchohol into the equation and pretends to have a bigger nest. The female finally responds, the male trouser snake has found a mate. For tonight. When the female wakes the following morning in the lower level of his parents nest, she does the slither of shame back to her home.
27. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - June 10, 2009 12:32 PM
25 - If by fella, you mean lady, you would be.... nope, still an idiot. You're not communicating via radio, you're in the land of the interwebz. Since you seem to be a bit lost, I'll offer a piece of free advice - stop being a douche.
28. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - June 10, 2009 12:34 PM
DOH! @myself #26
*it's = its
Hey a few more and I'll be the comment whore of the day!
29. nadalo日本にいます。(also in Japan) - June 10, 2009 12:35 PM
FAIL! zero photoshop skills....the shadows are all wrong?? also that camo is lame.
i guess they had too much stock left at the dildo factory and sold it to the military. US tax dollars at work?
30. naas - June 10, 2009 12:41 PM
Chica's crackin me up.... You sure it's not a 'meds in my heads' day today either??
31. NassT - June 10, 2009 12:43 PM
If by potential targets they mean innocent Palestinian women and children that israel wants to destroy because they are f*cking Jews and cant be happy with what they already have and just want more. And before any of a$$ holes think about calling me out in another comment, do your research on the Middle east conflict. You'll see that Israel is a criminal country and needs to be stopped.
32. naas - June 10, 2009 12:48 PM
@31 you feel better now with all that off your chest?
33. Milkman - June 10, 2009 12:50 PM
GW I'm surprised... usually you have 5-10 updates a day but yesterday it was like 2-3, and then another 2-3 and today only 2... slacker
34. naas - June 10, 2009 12:53 PM
Unless you're on the moon, the day isn't over
35. NassT - June 10, 2009 1:10 PM
@32 yes, ma'am or sir.
36. naas - June 10, 2009 1:24 PM
Good, I'd hate to see anger like that lead towards killing more jews regardless of what's going on in the middle east. These snakes are what we should be worried about here anyways, not because they're jewish but because they're robotic snakes
37. Watch-303 - June 10, 2009 1:28 PM
this is creepy.
38. catch22 - June 10, 2009 1:33 PM
reminds me of the garbage monster from star wars
39. Leonidas - June 10, 2009 2:03 PM
Reminds me of a dump I took one midsummer morning.
40. naas - June 10, 2009 2:10 PM
reminds me of whats lurking in my pants
41. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - June 10, 2009 2:16 PM
I fear the robot cock more than the robot snake.
42. naas - June 10, 2009 2:54 PM
I bet that's because you've successfully tamed one before Shum, and by that I mean crashing a commuter train in a dark tunnel on a sunday with a trombone & mountain dew
43. Darth - June 10, 2009 3:06 PM
Looks good to me.Is it able to strangle too?
44. GLADIATOR - June 10, 2009 3:59 PM
Watch out! Mosad is gonna getcha!
Where's a snake charmer when you need one! :S
*
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Come and join the short and easy game mybrute:
http://burpnassker.mybrute.com
The game takes less than 5 minutes to play!
45. American sass - June 10, 2009 5:03 PM
Who cares if the jews kill a bunch of muslims? World would be better off if these 2 grps just exterminated each other
46. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - June 10, 2009 5:34 PM
naas - It's no secret that everyday should be a "happy pill" day for me. But I'm afraid they'll make me normal. And that, my friend, would be death.
47. Nadaem Ahmed - June 10, 2009 5:39 PM
everything....but peace.
48. Tariq Syed - June 10, 2009 5:44 PM
Jewish snakes in disguise? Nothing new here.
Iran has a few big fat MONGOOSEs its prepping for the Israeli snakes.
come here snakeee snakee snakee....!!!! KABOOM Just 10 Thermonuclear 100 Megatonne non robotic devices are enough for Pissrael.
49. Anonymouse - June 11, 2009 12:00 AM
@ 45 No, The world would not be better if all the jews and muslims killed each other. It would just leave space for more religions. If we were to end the concept of religion and have everyone united under say... science, we would stop the mass genocides and only have bickering scientists finding amazingly awesome ways of getting back at each other.
50. Nom Nom - June 11, 2009 2:58 AM
@48 Jewish snakes in disguise? Nothing new here.
Jajajaja that was good!!
51. Ginormagantuan - June 11, 2009 4:32 AM
48.................... EPIC WIN! I ROFLCOPTERED @ that joke!
52. Gordon "Fücking" Shumway - June 11, 2009 7:49 AM
@49
Science Damnit! We will prove the our belief in the Almighty Logic is better than yours!
53. NastyBedazzler - June 11, 2009 10:36 AM
I agree with #4
54. kelehendros - June 11, 2009 11:50 AM
26=win that having been said they are nowhere near to my anihiwenis 6000 its the newest in robodongs not only does it vibrate twist wiggle have lights and play music but this new model has a blender attachment. *flexes roboguns*
55. J - June 11, 2009 4:03 PM
@49 couldn't we just unite under the "T"? I mean, really, the creation of the Model-T was the turning point in science and idustrialization, right?
Huxley FTW!
56. Enflamed - June 12, 2009 8:47 AM
@55 20 cool points for the Brave New World reference. Kudos to you kind sir. As for all you cool kids Im gonna go take 2 handfuls of soma. See yall on the other side!
57. Kyongafri101 - June 13, 2009 7:48 AM
(From http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/06/12/israeli_one_eyed_robot_snake/)
In the vid, the machine is shown clad in the same camouflage patterned cloth used in items of Israeli military apparel. The trouser(ed) snake exhibits an impressive ability to become rigid and erect itself as required in order to gain access to otherwise impenetrable areas.
I think I'll be perfect for this!
58. sidvish - June 14, 2009 1:04 PM
snake? snake? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE