Jul 3 2009 Happy 4th Of July Weekend! *BOOM BOOM*

Dearest Reader,

Those were fireworks at the end of the title in case you couldn't tell. *BOOM BOOM* Oh, there went some more! Anyway, this is an incredible *BOOM* cute stop motion video from PES, whose work is always amazing. Now, everyone get out there and have a safe and firework-y holiday. And if my next post doesn't make any sense -- I'm typing with stumps. WHEE!

Love,

Your Geekologie Writer

Youtube

Thanks to Towhee Monster, who's a little firecracker herself.

Jul 3 2009 Anti-Paparazzi Bag Flashes Bulb, Not Privates

Some guy named Adam Harvey designed an anti-paparazzi purse that, when the flashbulbs of the photogs go off, immediately flashes it's own bulb back, ruining their pictures and effectively protecting your privates from showing up on TheSuperficial. Obviously, it's a terrible idea. Terribly terrible. Right up there with the current public decency laws. IT'S HOT OUTSIDE, GIMME A BREAK. Also, a rub-down with that lotion ;). SP my F.

Anti-paparazzi device flashes lewd photographers right back [dvice]

Thanks to FDSY, whose anti-paparazzi device looks a lot more like a sock full of quarters.

Jul 3 2009 Sexy New Dinos Discovered In Australia

Since I've been so good lately, God has decided to shine his golden face upon me with three previously unheard of dinosaur species for me to choose from as soon as my time machine is complete. Thanks, God.

The two herbivores (Wintonotitan and Diamantinasaurus, middle and bottom) and one carnivore, excavated from the Winton formation, roamed our land during the Cretaceous period - 98 million years ago.

"It not only presents us with two new amazing long-necked giants of the ancient Australian continent, but also announces our first really big predator - Australovenator," says Long.

That's right folks, that handsome devil up top is the Australovenator. I feel like I'm able to love again for the first time since Red Bull girl shot me down like a defunct satellite. Australovenator -- LOVENATE ME!

Scientists discover three new Aussie dinosaurs [abc]

Thanks to Melissa, Michael, janw and draw, who, HEY I CALLED DIBS GUYS, BACK OFF.

Jul 3 2009 Cuuuuuuute!: Felt Playstation iPhone Case

This is a felt Playstation iPhone case made by Etsy user rabbitrampage. As you can see (provided you're not rocking dualie eyepatches) it was very well constructed. And whenever she actually has one in stock, it'll run you $20 -- plus another $7 per controller. Still, damn cute. I'd even consider buying one if I didn't just get a new purse.

Hit the jump for a shot of an iPhone exiting the case. Or is it entering? We may never know.

Continue Reading " Cuuuuuuute!: Felt Playstation iPhone Case "

Jul 2 2009 You Have Got To Be Kidding Me: Sears Tower Unveils Glass Balconies on 103rd Floor

The Sears Tower opened "The Ledge" to the public today. The Ledge is a 4-foot glass balcony that's suspended 1,353 feet above the ground on the 103rd floor. It provides a panoramic view of Chicago, provided the walls aren't covered in accidents. Fun fact: urine spilled from the 103rd floor can break concrete on the sidewalk below.* And not just if you drank a jackhammer, but it helps.

*No not really, stop emailing me.

Hit the jump for a couple more of the NO I AM NOT AFRAID OF HEIGHTS.

Continue Reading " You Have Got To Be Kidding Me: Sears Tower Unveils Glass Balconies on 103rd Floor "

Jul 2 2009 I'd Live There: Amazing Papercraft Castle

This is a castle made entirely of paper. And I think we can all agree: it's pretty much the big bad wolf's wet dream-home.

I had the immense opportunity to see this wonderful paper craft art installation by a genius of the name of Wataru Itou, a young student of a major art university here in Tokyo. The installation is hand made over four years of hard work, complete with electrical lights and a moving train, all made of paper!

Normally when I see something this all I can think about is wanting to burn it. But not in this case, it's just too beautiful. Huh? What do you mean what's behind my back? Oh, these? Just some fireworks.

Hit the jump for a couple more, then the link for a bunch of nicer high-res joints.

Continue Reading " I'd Live There: Amazing Papercraft Castle "

Jul 2 2009 Mom Knowingly Helps Pawn Stolen Wii

Two quality parenting posts in a row, whee (literally this time)! Apparently some kids stole a Wii and then had their mom pawn the console so they could split the money. You'll have to excuse me, I'm getting a little choked up just thinking about the quality bonding time they must have spent in the car on the way to the pawnshop.

Police have already arrested 18-year-old Joshua Carter, 16-year-old Patrick Early, and 13-year-old Derrick Henson on felony charges for stealing a neighbor's Nintendo Wii video game system.

However, Early admitted to police that his mom, 41-year-old Maxine Law, helped the teens sell the Wii at a local pawn shop even though she knew it was stolen.

Wow, stealing from the neighbors. That's almost as bad as the time I stole my own watch from myself....
....
....
HEY -- GIVE ME THAT BACK!

Kids Steal Wii, Mom Arrested After Pawning It [wftv]

Thanks to GLiTCH, who once stole a woman's heart. Grody.

Jul 2 2009 Just Sad: 2-Year Old Smoking Cigarette

There's no way around it, this is just plain sad. And it would have been the most heartbreaking thing I'd ever seen all day if my little sister didn't get hit by a garbage truck. Kidding, streetsweeper.

China : 2yo Lights Up Cigarette And Smokes It. [liveleak]

Thanks to Weeze, who, slow down and take a breath man, it looks like you're about to die.

Jul 2 2009 The Aliens Are Watching Our TV Programming

This is a little diagram showing how far our television broadcasts have traveled out into space already (I had to cut the image, full size version HERE). As you can see, the aliens orbiting Procyon are just about ready for some Sopranos action. Then, they'll smash their televisions because they're advanced enough to know there's nothing good coming after.

The Aliens of the Star Iota Horologii Are Just Watching Captain Kangaroo Now [gizmodo]

Thanks to Julian, who once made out with an alien chick while secretly watching a Friends rerun over her shoulder.

Jul 2 2009 Stupid Robots Can't Even Sing Happy Birthday

In honor of Canada Day yesterday and the 4th on Saturday, this is a video of three Wiffle-ball headed robots trying to sing happy birthday and failing so hard I almost felt bad. Almost. Just watch and listen. Did you hear that? It sounded like the one on the left was singing "die die die". IT NEARS!

Robots Sing Happy Birthday to UK Science Museum [robots.net] (who will be receiving a nasty email)

Thanks to Crimsonfox, who used to be Fusciafox until he painted himself to have better luck sneaking into the henhouse.

Jul 2 2009 You Gobble That Road: Pac-Man Mini Cooper

This is a Pac-Man themed Mini Cooper from The Cool Hunter. I can't tell if it's real but I'm leaning towards absolutely not. So, somebody Photoshopped a Mini Cooper -- how bout that? Hold on to your hats though, because there's a Space Invaders model after the jump. Now i know what you're thinking, and no, that wasn't me driving on the sidewalk last night (yes it was). I thought it was the bike lane!

Hit it real good.

Continue Reading " You Gobble That Road: Pac-Man Mini Cooper "

Jul 1 2009 Vroom Vroom Kabloom: 2,700 HP Jet Truck

Chris Lentz, instead of going the classy route and getting a pair of truck nuts, decided to throw a Czech built Motorlet M-701 turbojet in the bed of his truck.

The fifty-five-year-old electrical foreman from Jackson, Michigan, had longed for a jet-powered truck for decades. Two years ago, Lentz discovered a way to realize his dream when he met a pilot from New York who imported used turbojet engines. After watching an example run on a test stand, Lentz paid $10,000 for one.

Unfortunately, it's pretty unimpressive.

Without jet assist, Lentz's 231-hp V-8 accelerated its 6600-pound burden (truck, jet engine, two occupants) to 60 mph in a sluggish 14.5 seconds.

The best of three runs in hybrid mode - exploiting both piston and jet propulsion - trimmed six seconds from the sprint to 60 mph. The quarter-mile speed jumped 30 mph and we achieved 140 mph after 45 seconds of acceleration.

Wow. You could probably tape bottle rockets to your bumper and go faster. Just sayin', HAPPY CANADA DAY! Somebody burn themself with a firework for me.

Video after the jump.

Continue Reading " Vroom Vroom Kabloom: 2,700 HP Jet Truck "

Jul 1 2009 eBay: The Ocarina of Time All White Meat

Lucky McDonalds customer 0iz0 just so happened to score the most covered of all chicken strips: the Ocarina of Thigh.

The shining beam of light accompanied by the melodic Zelda jingle blared out of the chicken select treasure box that was handed to me by a late night, tired, acne infested teenage boy as I opened it and discovered what lay in wait for me. Anyone who is a true Zelda fan must get this precious gem of unintentional craftsmanship! It will help you find your Zelda roots, and be just as much of a heroic mastermind as Link! Don't pass this opportunity, for I am certain you will be able to make great music and friends with this golden nugget!

This is your chance to own a piece of history!

Do not eat

*Licking fingers* Sorry, what was that last bit? TOOT TOOT TOOT TOOTLE TOOT!
eBay Auction

Thanks to VinnyC, who just played the Song of Deliciousness.

Jul 1 2009 Tiny Bloodbots To Crawl Around In Your Veins

Writing that title alone gave me heart trouble. It was hairy there for a minute, I almost Michael Jacksoned on you. Anyway, more robotic death. Remember: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unfortunately, these will kill you.

Researchers at the Israel Institute of Technology in Haifa have developed a miniature crawling robot, called ViRob, that can crawl through your lungs, find a tumor, and zap it with drugs. The bot, which is one millimeter long and four millimeters from end to end, can snake its way through the body, slipping into blood vessels and navigating through the respiratory and digestive systems

But thanks to tiny arms that help it grip vessel walls , ViRob is the first microbot that can tunnel between different body cavities. It's controlled by an electromagnetic field outside of the robot that creates a vibration that propels ViRob forward.

Wow, that's....wrong. And I, for one, refuse to piss robots.

The Tiny Robot that Can Crawl Through Your Veins--And Treat Your Tumors [discovermagazine]

Thanks to msjessiemeghan, who, please wake me up and tell me it's just been a nightmare.

Jul 1 2009 Like I Don't Have Enough To Worry About: Mega Ant Colony Is Taking Over The World

Ant colonies, like rabbits, are cuddly prolific. So prolific, in fact, scientists have just discovered a single interrelated colony of Argentine ants that has populated much of the globe. ATTAAACK!

The colony may be the largest of its type ever known for any insect species, and could rival humans in the scale of its world domination.

While ants are usually highly territorial, those living within each super-colony are tolerant of one another, even if they live tens or hundreds of kilometres apart. Each super-colony, however, was thought to be quite distinct.

But it now appears that billions of Argentine ants around the world all actually belong to one single global mega-colony.

So they're all relatives. But way more so than say, you and I are. So....it's cool if I touch your butt, right? I mean it's not like we're ants or anything.

Ant mega-colony takes over world [bbcnews]

Thanks to Alistair and 2MechanicalArms, who may or may not have fire ants in their pants. They do, I put them there.

Jul 1 2009 Great: Japan Plans Another Giant Robot Statue

Japan,

You know I love you. I love your sushi and your weird sexual fetishes. But what's up with the robot thing, bro? That shit ain't right. First Gundam and now a 59-foot Tetsujin 28-go (Gigantor)? I mean, I'm worried about you. One minute I'm in a diaper being spanked by a geisha (enjoying myself) and the next thing you know, BOOM, let's built a permanent giant robot statue in Kobe. Needless to say, I'm gonna have to reevaluate our relationship.

I hope we can work this out,

Your Geekologie Writer

P.S. Some more worn schoolgirl panties may help sway my decision.

Hit the jump for a 'making of' video.

Continue Reading " Great: Japan Plans Another Giant Robot Statue "

Jul 1 2009 Every Kid's Dream: Shopping Buggy Racecart

Let's face it, we've all had the idea, but these folks actually followed through and did it. Not some halfassed job either, they actually made this thing legit (videos after jump). Oh man -- if only they had these on Supermarket Sweep...imagine the carnage!

Hit it for two videos showing off the impressiveness.

Continue Reading " Every Kid's Dream: Shopping Buggy Racecart "

Jul 1 2009 Video: Using 'The Force' To Levitate A Ball

This is a video of some guy from the New York Post getting to play around with the Star Wars Force Trainer that's set to hit the market in a few months. I posted it for two reasons: 1. the toy is cool and I want one badly and 2. I could have done a much better review. DAMNIT FOLKS, LET ME PLAY WITH THE NEW TOYS. I can review the hell out of things. I have opinions. People listen to me. Don't you? Don't you listen to -- ARE YOU WEARING HEADPHONES?! You are a dick. But seriously, buy this.

NY Post Video: Star Wars Force Trainer in action [dvice]

Jul 1 2009 Bacon Boys: Cutest Picture On The Planet?

No, the one on the right is ruining it.

Product Site (actually for fake gift box, indicating THIS might not be real either)

Thanks to Henry, Marley, Biff Tannen, quasievil, mrs. Willy, Herson, Kassie, Klay and whoever else may have sent this: even wrapped in lettuce, you'd still look good.

Jun 30 2009 I Would Destroy: This WALL-E Cake

If I were in prison and could only have one thing I would want a chastity belt. But if I could have two things I would want a chastity belt and a cake with a file in it. What? I like to keep my nails looking good. Also, looking a little cross-eyed there, WALL-E -- been playing with yourself again?

Wall E Cake is Simply Delicious [walyou]

Jun 30 2009 UPDATE: ZOMG, Freaking Sewer Creatures!

This is allegedly video from the sewers beneath Raleigh, North Carolina showing some weird ass freaky deaky new creatures. I suspect it's fake and gonna prove to be a viral video for Cloverfield 2: Attack of the Head Crabs or some feminine hygiene product. But who knows, maybe it's real. Regardless, I think we can all agree that it would be delicious BBQ'd.

UPDATE: Totally real apparently. According to Dr. Timothy Wood, freshwater bryozoa expert.

Thanks for the video - I had not see it before. No, these are not bryozoans! They are clumps of annelid worms, almost certainly tubificids (Naididae, probably genus Tubifex). Normally these occur in soil and sediment, especially at the bottom and edges of polluted streams. In the photo they have apparently entered a pipeline somehow, and in the absence of soil they are coiling around each other. The contractions you see are the result of a single worm contracting and then stimulating all the others to do the same almost simultaneously, so it looks like a single big muscle contracting. Interesting video.

BURN IT WITH FIRE! Somebody in Raleigh needs to start flushing fireworks down the toilet STAT.

Video Footage Surfaces of North Carolina Sewer Creatures [io9]
and
Disgusting Sewer Creature Update: IT'S F#$%ING REAL! [gizmodo]

Thanks to Julian, who requests his medium rare with a side of A-1.

Jun 30 2009 Blocky Moonwalky: Michael Jackson As LEGO

This is Michael Jackson in LEGO form. And, because I'm actually made of solid gold classiness, I'm not going there. And by there I mean Michael Jackson jokes. And by not going I mean I heard they're going to burn the body so he can be the king of snap and crackle now too. *moonwalks self in crotch*

Michael Jackson - Moonwalk [mocpages]

Thanks to naas, who danced his ass off one time. Literally, both cheeks, gone.

Jun 30 2009 Meaty: Vegan Vs. Carnivore Support Groups

I was heavily vegetarian for almost four years when I was married (the dark years) and let me tell you: non-dairy cheese turns into hard plastic when baked in a Thanksgiving broccoli casserole. I still served it though. And not a single person tried it. So you know what I did? I killed them all. Softly, with my song. Oh yeah, I strummed that pain.

soyf*ckers anonymous [passiveaggressivenotes]

Thanks to Jeff and Barry, who are in your fridge pilfering your bacon.

Jun 30 2009 Pew Pew, Kids, Pew Pew!: TIE Fighter Fort

Do you spoil your kids? You shouldn't. Which is exactly why you should buy this $75 TIE Fighter playset for yourself and never let them touch touch it. Rope it off in the corner of the living room and sit in it making PEW PEW PEWs while they stare longingly at all the fun you're having. Ask them who wants to play space battle and then tell them you've changed your mind and you'd trade either one of them for a new lawnmower in a heartbeat. Then, send them to bed with no dinner. It's what my parents did, and look how well I turned out. I AM A CATCH. And by catch I mean hellhound. Ladies? GRRRRRRR!

Tie Fighter Playhouse Recruiting For The Dark Side Early [io9]

Thanks to Julian, who can play space with the best of them.

Jun 30 2009 Goodbye Cruel World: The Wearable Towel

Following in the stylish footsteps of the Snuggie, Slanket, Peakaroo, WonderRobe, MagicJacket, CarpetVest and PlushiePants, comes the Wearable Towel (THAT'S THE BEST YOU COULD COME UP WITH?!). It's a towel with holes in it that you put your head and arms through. And wear. Like an animal pelt, but way more Roman. They cost $20 plus shipping and handling and come in red, white and blue. BECAUSE THEY'RE AMERICAN DAMNIT! Like apple pie, if apple pie was manufactured in Singapore.

Official Site

Thanks to yourmotherslover, who may or may not be your dad.

Jun 30 2009 It's Itsy Bitsy!: Tiny Drill Is Tiny

This is a super tiny drill. It is the opposite of this drill. If these two drills were siblings, this one would be Danny Devito in Twins. But it does actually work (video HERE). Now I have no idea what in the hell you'd use such a tiny drill for, but if I had to guess, I'd go with dollhouse repairs. You hear that, Ken? *sobbing* THIS DREAMHOUSE IS IN SHAMBLES!

Micro Power Drill [bookofjoe]

Thanks to naas, whose drill is not much bigger. Burn? BURN!

Jun 30 2009 Miss You: The Pirate Bay Has Been Sold

The Pirate Bay, one of the world's best known torrent search portals, is being sold to some Swedish firm. It will no longer be so piratey.

Global Gaming Factory X AB, a Swedish firm that runs Internet cafes and game centers, plans to buy The Pirate Bay for 60 million kronor (~$8 million), twice the fine that was slapped on The Pirate Bay defendants by a Stockholm court earlier this year.

...the new owners plan to make it a legal service that allows "content providers and copyright owners [to] get paid for content that is downloaded via the site."

"Legal service"...."paid for content"....they better change the name.

Pirate Bay sold, to become more like Carnival Cruise Lines [arstechnica]

Thanks to Thumperchica and Zombie Pirate LeChuck, who agrees this isn't even Disney Pirate's Bay any more.

Jun 29 2009 Sadness: Superheroes, The Golden Years

This is a little gallery of superheroes past their prime. They were all drawn by Italian artist Donald Soffritti and made me sadder than hell. You know, because they got me thinking about growing old and shit. Too profound for you? I'm deeper than an ocean trench.

Hit the jump for some of my favorites, then the link for a whole bunch more.

Continue Reading " Sadness: Superheroes, The Golden Years "

Jun 29 2009 Boom Boom: Guy Snaps Supersonic Picture

Ronald Dejarnett is the U.S. Navy sonar technician that snapped this pic of an F-22 going boom boom over the Gulf of Alaska. Quick shootin', Ronald -- I probably would have peed a little and yelled DECEPTICON! But that could be my special forces training talking.

A Picture Is Worth About $138 Million [gizmodo]

Jun 29 2009 Clever: NES Controller Wireless Doorbell

Some guy went and stuffed a wireless doorbell into an old NES controller. That is all. There's a video of it in action after the jump. SPOILER ALERT: it goes ding-dong.

Hit it for the video. MASH THE BUTTON. DO IT. YOU MASH IT GOOD!

Continue Reading " Clever: NES Controller Wireless Doorbell "

Jun 29 2009 I'm In Love

I have never felt feelings like this before. Marry me?

Hit the jump for a couple more of the before and after.

Continue Reading " I'm In Love "

Jun 29 2009 Michael Jackson: Singer, Dancer, Inventor

Sure the dude danced, but did you know he invented? It's true, Michael developed a shoe that made the impossible forward-lean in his 'Smooth Criminal' dance routine possible.

He did it with special shoes that quickly slid into pegs that rise out of the floor at just the right moment. Also helping the effect were rigid anklets that worked like ski boots, supporting Jackson and his entourage of dancers as they leaned forward at that magic angle.

Cool, but you know what I want? Moonwalk shoes. One time I went to a club with a friend of mine who can moonwalk. He only did it for like five seconds. Thirty women got pregnant.

Hit the jump for a video of Michael performing the stunt, action is at 3:50.

Continue Reading " Michael Jackson: Singer, Dancer, Inventor "

Jun 29 2009 Mmmm, Chocolatey: The S'Mores Keyboard

This is probably the most delicious keyboard I've ever seen because I haven't seen a bacon one yet. Unfortunately, like a harmless robot, it doesn't actually exist. BUT IF IT DID. Oh, the things I would do to you. Oh yeah, you like that? You like those Doritos crumbs? You like those Doritos crumbs between your marshmallows?

S'More Keyboard Would Not Survive 10 Minutes on My Desk [gizmodo]

Thanks to GreenBoss, who kicked FuchsiaBoss's ass and ate his keyboard.

Jun 29 2009 Mini Pews: Cutest Mega Man Cosplay EVER

I remember getting this tip a while ago but I forgot to post it because sometimes my inbox gets so full of boner pill spam that I lose track of things. So I apologize to whoever it was that sent it then. I heart you. Anyway, the cutest Mega Man ever.

My son dressed up in his Mega Man Costume learning to say PEW

Did your heart just go pitter patter? That might be the most beautiful sentence I've ever read. Minus the part about having a kid.

Youtube

Thanks to KPW and whoever sent me this before, who, *PEW PEW!* Haha, gotcha.

Jun 29 2009 Carnivorous Robots Eat Meat For Power

That's right folks, robots that consume organic matter to power themselves. Scared yet? You should be. Your pants should be full right now. If not, more fiber. This particular model is a flytrap that digests insects to power a clock.

UK-based designers James Auger and Jimmy Loizeau believe that, if robots are ever to be welcomed into people's homes, they'll need to fit in with the rest of the furniture, and earn their keep. Their prototypes trap and digest pests like flies and mice to gain energy.

Finally, robots that digest meat -- because that's what I want in the house. So let me get this straight: you're a robot AND YOU EAT MEAT. Welcome home!

Hit the jump for another picture of the flytrap and a coffee table that eats mice.

Continue Reading " Carnivorous Robots Eat Meat For Power "

Jun 29 2009 Billy Mays Has Left The Infomercial Set

Billy Mays, a man best known for kicking Vince "Shamwow" Shlomi's ass in a no-holds-barred cagefighting match, died over the weekend following a freak head injury heart blockage. He was 50.

Police said Mays told his wife he didn't feel well when he went to bed Saturday night. Earlier in the day, he said he was hit on the head when his airliner had a rough landing at Tampa Bay's airport.

But the airline said no passengers reported any serious injuries, and Mays himself cheerfully recounted the landing for a local TV station.

Wow, that's pretty scary. Life is short folks, fight stains while you still can.

R.I.P. Billy.

Autopsy planned for TV pitchman Billy Mays [yahoo]

Thanks to everyone who sent this in. Stay clean guys, stay OxiClean.