Jun 27 2009 MacBooks Made With Space Technology

Here's video proof MacBooks are made with space technology. Now I don't want to ruin it for you, but I'm going to anyways: they are among us. And by they I mean them. The French.

Liveleak

Thanks to Ryan, Geekologie fan.

Jun 27 2009 MUTANT!: Motorcycle Sidecar Is Actual Car

Francois Knorreck spent ten years and $20,000 to create this "Snaefell", a motorcycle with a sidecar made from an actual car. It looks pretty damn sleek. Not as sleek as my mane, but I use women's haircare products. Also, hygiene producst. What? I can have a cycle too!

Hit the jump for several more shots of the confusion.

Continue Reading " MUTANT!: Motorcycle Sidecar Is Actual Car "

Jun 27 2009 First Image Of A New Memory Being Formed

Allegedly, this is the first image captured of a new memory being formed on the cellular level. If your brain were dinner, new memories would be the glowing noodle appetizer.

The image shows that proteins are created at connections between brain cells when a long-term memory is formed. Neuroscientists had suspected as much, but hadn't been able to see it happening until now.

Scientists still want to understand more about how our brains translate memories made on the go into long-term storage. Since synapses are connections between cells, experts think that fortifying these connections, or perhaps even making new ones, helps our minds associate different ideas and form memories of connected events.

Speaking of memories, you remember the time we snuck off and made out in that house that was being built? Yeah, that was really, um -- that wasn't you, was it? Oh synapse!

First Image of a Memory Being Made [livescience]

Jun 26 2009 Guy Fills iPhone With Cleverly Made Icons

This is a pretty exciting picture of some guy's iPhone. As you can see, he traded all the icons out for pictures he made himself. Pretty cute. Not the phone -- your dog. Can I pet it?

This iPhone is Freakin' Hilarious [gizmodo]

Thanks to greg, who traded out all his iPhone icons for nothing because WHO NEEDS BUTTONS AM I RIGHT?!

Jun 26 2009 Samurai Swordsman Cuts Baseball In Half

Resident samurai Isao Machii returns, this time cutting a launched baseball in half. Unfortunately, it took him two tries. I could have done it in one, making a second ball obsolete. Rollerblading accident. It unraveled.

Japanese Samurai Slices Pitched Baseball In Half [totalprosports]

Thanks to Dan, who once chopped a thrown bowling ball in half with laser vision.

Jun 26 2009 Swedish Women Win Right To Tan Topless

In what will probably be the awesomest news I'll hear all day, Swedish women in Malmö have officially won the right to go to public pools with their knockers hanging out. *sniff* I think we're really making progress here.

...some on the council had lobbied for wording which would have required women to keep their nipples covered, but Forsberg explained that attempting to enforce such a rule would have been too complicated.

"We don't define what bathing suits men should wear so it doesn't make much sense to do it for women. And besides, it's not unusual for men to have large breasts that resemble women's breasts," he said.

OH HO, you just had to sneak a manboob burn in there didn't you? I'M WORKING ON THEM, OKAY? And by working on I mean fondling. Oooh la la.

Yay Sweden! Swedish Women Won Rights to Bathe Topless [neatorama]

Thanks to Mags, who was in shock I hadn't already motorboated this story.

Jun 26 2009 That's More Like It: 7 Pound, 4.5" Thick Pizza

Andy is the man responsible for yesterday's 2-inch thick pizza. And he got pretty upset several of you commenters weren't feeling his efforts. So, to spite you, he made a bigger, 7 pound, 4.5-inch thick pizza yesterday. Take that, naysayer!

Okay, I saw that my pizza I posted a couple of hours ago got posted on Geekologie, that's cool, I read that blog on a daily basis. But apparently most of the readers over there wasn't that impressed. And some even thought it was fake, and that's just ridiculous. So I felt I had to do another thick pizza. So here we go:

340g pineapple (190 kcal)
70g asparagus (14 kcal)
360g bacon (1152 kcal)
750g cheese (2700 kcal)
275g majonays (1980 kcal)
170g shrimp (145 kcal)
400g ham (520 kcal)
200g salami (780 kcal)
600g tomato paste + dough (1098 kcal)
1 egg (90 kcal)

All in all, this bad boy has 8669 kcal in it and weigh 7.08 lbs (3215g)

Happy now? I swear, some of you are so hard to please. Especially the ladies. I don't know know what I'm doing -- I get lost down there!

Hit the jump for a couple pre-baking shots.

Continue Reading " That's More Like It: 7 Pound, 4.5" Thick Pizza "

Jun 26 2009 Vroom Vroom?: Piaggio's 3-Wheeled Scooter

Two wheels in the front, one in the back -- that's crazy talk! But not for this Piaggio scooter, which looks eerily like the lovechild of my moped and Darth Vader's Segway.

The Piaggio MP3 500 Scooter ($9,000) features a unique three-wheel design, providing a more stable, secure, and easier ride. Features include a 493cc engine, a maximum speed of 89mph, 55-57 mpg gas mileage, a lean angle of 40 degrees, 20% less braking distance than traditional two-wheeled scooters, and aggressive looks that will help you stand out from the Vespa crowd.

I really want one, but I know that it would kill me. Well technically IT wouldn't kill me, it would be hitting the bottom of the canyon.

Piaggio MP3 500 Scooter [uncrate]

Thanks to naas, who once popped a wheelie and crashed into a telephone pole. He limped from the scene.

Jun 26 2009 R.I.P.: Michael Jackson Has Left The Building

Michael Jackson died of cardiac arrest yesterday. He was 50. *performs crotch grab in remembrance* Rest in peace, Michael.

Hit the jump for some video tributes.

Continue Reading " R.I.P.: Michael Jackson Has Left The Building "

Jun 26 2009 It Buuuuuurns!: India To Make Chili Grenades

India's Defense Research and Development Organization has plans to start manufacturing hot chili grenades. Hot chili grenades are exactly what they sound like: hot. chili. grenades.

Indian defence scientists are planning to put one of the world's hottest chilli powders into hand grenades.

They say the devices will be used to control rioters and in counter-insurgency operations.

The chilli, known as Bhut Jolokia, is said to be 1,000 times hotter than commonly used kitchen chilli.

Wow, this might very well be the second most delicious grenade I've ever heard of. But NOTHING tops a good tear-gas grenade. I eat sadness!

India plans hot chilli grenades [bbcnews]

Thanks to i like it spicy, whose urine can melt concrete.

Jun 26 2009 Surprisingly Not Bad: Harry Potter The Musical

Are you a Harry Potter fan? Looking to blow your whole day at work watching videos on Youtube? I know what you do on Fridays!

Get ready for a musical adventure as Harry Potter and his pals go back to Hogwarts for another year of learning shenanigans! Only this year their wizarding world gets turned on its head when the Dark Lord, Voldemort, comes back from the dead to take his revenge on The Boy Who Lived. Filled with magical fun and original songs by Darren Criss and AJ Holmes, this is a Potter-spectacular that no fan should miss. So take a ride on Voldemort's flying machine and get ready to back to Hogwarts!

It's amazingly not bad, and I just spent the last two hours watching it all. And by watching it I mean sleeping. I was there in spirit though. No, no I wasn't.

Youtube (with all the other parts)

Thanks to trishna87, who once sawed a man in half. Not magically either. She's serving life.

Jun 25 2009 That's Depressing: Dead People Jewelry

Want some jewelry that will remind you of your deceased loved ones because it's made with parts of them? Then you're in luck, thanks to necromancer and design student Anna Schwamborn (not to be confused with Anna Schwamdied).

Besides pure hair being used, cremated human ashes are mixed with black bone china, the world´s highest class porcelain.

The objects are supposed to be worn close to the body of the mourner symbolizing a lasting physical connection between two individuals even after death.

Furthermore this collection is supposed to remind the wearer on the fragility and appreciation of life and most importantly, acting as a keepsake.

Wow, that was depressing. Quick, I need something entirely inappropriate. Got it -- ex-girlfriend panty collection for the save! Whew, that was a close one.

Hit the jump for a couple more pictures of the possibilities.

Continue Reading " That's Depressing: Dead People Jewelry "

Jun 25 2009 Invention Of The Century: In-Car Pizza Oven

I think I speak for us all when I say, it's about damn time. This 12-volt pizza oven plugs right into a car's cigarette lighter or power point so you can cook a breakfast pizza on your commute to work. Or a dinner pizza on your way home! Or burn your car to the ground! The $36 oven is a real product and I just bought two. One for the front seat, and one for the kids in the back. What in the -- damnit kids, I smell burning army men! *sniff* I'm just so proud.

portable pizza oven lets you cook-a nice-a pizz-a pie in a moving car [technabob]

Thanks to FDSY and gnome king, who cook their pizzas on the radiator like normal people.

Jun 25 2009 No Thanks: World's Largest Alarm Clock

The world's largest alarm clock is actually the sun, but I'll look past that for the sake of this scary bitch, who's convinced he's made the largest. Now I don't want to ruin the video for you, but there is absolutely no way he originally designed that as an alarm.

The World's Biggest Alarm Clock [geekygadgets]

Thanks to MaverickPS, who wakes up the way God intended: with a dog licking his face.

Jun 25 2009 35,000-Year Old Flute Doesn't Summon Bird

That was a Zelda reference. No need to thank me folks, just doing my job. So scientists have unearthed a 35,000-year old flute in Germany, making it the earliest instrument ever found (not including rocks).

It was made from the bone of a giant vulture during the Upper Paleolithic. Found in Ach Valley, in the south of Germany, the 8.7-inch long, one-inch diameter instrument has five holes, with two V-shaped notches carved on one side of it. This was the part in which the musician put the lips to blow, according to University of Tubingen's professor Nicholas Conard, the lead author of the discovery. The other end is broken just on the fifth hole.

Wait -- but I thought the oldest flute was the one Eve used to play. You know, Adam's. Zing? ZING!

35,000-year-old Flute Is First Instrument Ever [gizmodo]

Thanks to Julian, who is more of a clarinet kind of guy.

Jun 25 2009 BK Ad: The King Used To Be Respectable

In what might be the smartest piece of advertising in recent history (whee, I just posted your whole freaking ad for free!), Burger King has released a print ad for their new Super Sloppy Seven Incher chock full of sexual innuendo. I don't see it, but allegedly it's there.

BK Goes Crude With 7-Inch Burger Ad [newser]

Thanks to solid and Pat, whose minds can't be blown away because they're in a lockbox.

Jun 25 2009 So Handsome: Master Chief's Senior Portraits

This is a little gallery of Master Chief's high school senior portraits. As you will see, he was one dapper young lad. And probably the star of the football team. Which means, more than likely, he dated all the cheerleaders and made fun of people like me. Yeah, Master Chief is a jerk.

Hit the jump to see a few of my favorites, then the link to see them all.

Continue Reading " So Handsome: Master Chief's Senior Portraits "

Jun 25 2009 Now That's Good Eats: 2-Inch Thick Pizza

This is a picture of a slice of pizza with 2-inches of delicious deliciousness piled on. I don't understand the logistics of even cooking a pizza with 2-inches of topping, but I do understand the logistics of eating one. GET INSIDE ME. It buuuuurns!

What we got here is a fantastic pizza with 2 inches of topping. I used three kinds of cheese (around 400g in total), 400g ham, 200g salami, 700g pineapple, 200g shrimp, spices, tomato paste and 200g of button mushroom.

Mmmm, did anyone else just puke in their mouth? I know I did. It was Lucky Charms-y!

Pizza with 2 inches of topping [metrobloggen]

Thanks to Bernie, who likes his pizza with 4-inches of topping. Jesus, Bernie, that's almost a foot.

Jun 25 2009 Stoned Wallabies To Blame For Crop Circles

The title alone might be the most profound thing I've ever written. I smell Pulitzer! So yeah, apparently wallabies are getting into medical poppy fields in Australia and going nuts. Whee!

"The one interesting bit that I found recently in one of my briefs on the poppy industry was that we have a problem with wallabies entering poppy fields, getting as high as a kite and going around in circles," Lara Giddings told the hearing.

"Then they crash," she added. "We see crop circles in the poppy industry from wallabies that are high."

Great, next they're gonna start breaking into cars and selling themselves to koalas to pay for a fix. And right when I was about to visit Australia too. Damn you, junkie wallabies!

'Stoned wallabies make crop circles' [bbcnews]

Thanks to Graf Zeppelin, SquidgyB, Marty the farmer, Ross and Jonny, who can only make McDonald's runs when they're high.

Jun 24 2009 Great News, Twihards!: Twlight Makeup Line

So apparently (I can't believe I'm writing this) there's a Twilight makeup line coming out from DuWop, the cosmetic line being used during the filming of the new movie, "Blue Moon" or whatever. Want to look like a vampire and save $16? Don't sleep.

Be transformed. Let the alchemy transcend.

This special limited edition Lip Venom is a sneak preview of our highly anticipated Twilight Venom, debuting this Fall. Lip Venom V is not your typical DuWop venom. Instead of a gloss, Lip Venom V is a shimmering crimson lip stain suspended in a venom-laced liquid lip conditioner with a bite, and contains argan, avocado, olive oils and vitamin E.

This product should be shaken before use to represent the blending of the human and vampire worlds and applied repeatedly until lips are plumped, revitalized and the desired intensity of color has been reached.

WOW. I just bought like 30 billion shares of DuWop stock. Also, I'm not afraid to admit that I love the Twilight series, and I'd be happy to stay up all night talking to any of you (legal) Twihards out there about Edward Cullen and just how sexy he is. Provided we do it topless. Oh, and call him by his codename: The Geekologie Writer.

Hit the jump to see the Edward and Bella Barbie dolls coming out this fall. And tell me: is it just coincidence Edward's head is shaped like a dildo? I THINK NOT.

Continue Reading " Great News, Twihards!: Twlight Makeup Line "

Jun 24 2009 Robopocalyptic Proof: News From The Future

This is a new report from the future. For you doubters of our potential robotic overlords, I'll accept your apologies now. Also, your wallet. I mean it -- this isn't a damn Slim Jim in my pocket. *snap* Mmmm, so it is.

Youtube

Thanks to samuel and Viktor T, who traveled to the future in a sled. There is no snow in the future.

Jun 24 2009 Interesting: Ray Bradbury Hates The Internets

Ray Bradbury, seen here showing you how to properly do an alien, hates the internet. The author, despite his often futuristic, sci-fi themes, may secretly be a unabomber.

"The Internet is a big distraction," said Ray Bradbury, author of Fahrenheit 451 and The Martian Chronicles, while speaking out in defense of libraries in The New York Times.

"Yahoo called me eight weeks ago," he said. "They wanted to put a book of mine on Yahoo! You know what I told them? 'To hell with you. To hell with you and to hell with the Internet.'

"It's distracting," he continued. "It's meaningless; it's not real. It's in the air somewhere."

It's not "in the air somewhere", Ray, it's a series of tubes. One minute of fact-checking on Wikipedia could have told you that. Just sayin'.

Ray Bradbury to Yahoo: "To hell with the Internet!" [scifiwire]

Thanks to Chase and FDSY, who love the internet for all the joy porn it brings to their lives.

Jun 24 2009 A Match Made In Plastic: A LEGO Proposal

We've all heard about LEGO themed proposals in the past (most of them choking hazards), but Ryan Wood went about it a little differently. Namely, by presenting his bride-to-be with a giant LEGO ring containing an actual engagement ring inside its clear diamond. Wow, how romantic (read: be thankful she said yes). Now, as a guy who has been married in the past -- and isn't in a relationship anymore, I've got to admit: ladies? Tip me. Literally -- I've been working hard for you!

Nothing Says "I'm a Dork, Marry Me" Like a Giant Lego Wedding Ring [gizmodo]

Thanks to Julian and m0h, who proposed at the zoo right when a monkey was drinking its own urine. *swoon*

Jun 24 2009 Robot Displays Emotions, Doesn't Have Any

In an ironic twist, an emotionless robot has been programmed to physically display emotions using it's face and body. It is one of the scariest looking robobastards I've seen and IT DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT ITS ACTIONS MEAN. It's like asking a robot if it knows what love is. You know what they say? Human blood.

Youtube

Thanks to Taylor, Julian, Vicki, FDSY, andrewk, Dr. Thrasher, Romeo and Matthew, who know it's okay to eat robots 'cause they don't have any feelings.

Jun 24 2009 I Invented That!: Fan Powered Rocket Board

I'm pretty sure this is every five-year old boy's first invention. Of course, few have the technical know-how to make it happen. And even fewer are allowed to play with power tools. But grownup Ray Bavetta kept the dream alive and slapped a 3.7HP model airplane engine on a skateboard and misnamed it Rocket Board. Do you know what a rocket is, Ray? There's usually fire coming out of the back. Not streamers.

Rocket Board makes skateboarding a bit more interesting [dvice]

Thanks to FDSY, who is fairly certain this is how he'll die.

Jun 24 2009 Yikes!: How To Make Gundam Even Scarier

Like this. Just look at those hands *shivers*. That's not Gundam, that's Gunmadam. Happy ending: DO NOT WANT.

Hit the jump for an action pose.

Continue Reading " Yikes!: How To Make Gundam Even Scarier "

Jun 24 2009 Afraid To Sleep: The Sonic Bomb Alarm Clock

The Sonic Bomb alarm clock is powerful enough to raise the dead. Why? For one, it comes with a 113dB alarm (louder than a jackhammer). But if that's not enough to wake you from your beauty fugly rest, it also flashes a bedside lamp on and off and has a 12-volt bed vibrator. Awake yet? The bomb sells for $43 and is guaranteed to make you frightened to fall asleep. Not unlike my creepy roommate, who, damnit, I CAN SEE YOU THERE BY THE DRESSER.

Product Site

Thanks to Cameron, who BOOM SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE THE ROOM.

Jun 23 2009 The Kush: $55 Nighttime Breast Support

The Kush is a $55 (PLUS S&H!) piece of molded plastic women put between their breasts before bed to "gently support and cushion the weight of a woman's breasts". $55, really? For $10 I'll come over and slip my own, much more natural breast supporter between those puppies. Obviously, I'm talking about a rolling pin. Ladies? Come on -- I'll let you make cookies in the morning!

Kush infomercial makes everyone feel good [adfreak]

Thanks to Todd and Jcon, who are selling empty soda cans for $5. But if you're worried your breasts might crush a can, call me.

Jun 23 2009 Wine Balls: Not Just For Sommelier Orgies

Tired of drinking wine straight from the bottle? That was rhetorical -- it never gets old. But N2Wine decided to make these Wine Globe systems anyways. Cheers, Jesus. Want to teach me how to fish?

Wine globes are glass containers capable of holding 33 or 70 bottles of wine (depending on the size) that are specifically designed to thwart oxidization, the chemical reaction that ages wine, by preventing any air from entering the system. Instead, the globes vino-filled spheres constantly topped off by "food-grade" nitrogen when liquid levels deplete, essentially freezing wine's flavor in time.

The wine is also under constant water-cooled temperature regulation so that it's served perfectly every time and, obviously, the system can offer more wines by the glass than most restaurants currently offer.

Each globe costs about $1,000 but can be run in line off the same nitrogen tank, making them still not worth it. No, I'll be sticking to my boxed wine, thank you very much. Literally, I glued it myself. Ever played Edward Fortyhands? You should try Bernard Boxarm.

Wine Globes Swap Tastings for Keggers [gizmodo]

Jun 23 2009 Stay Away!: The Robotic Needle Of Death

We've already seen one robotic death needle, so what's another? EVERYTHING, THAT'S WHAT. I am honestly *this close* to drinking the Kool-Aid. But allegedly, this robot was designed to do good. Pfft, I've heard one that before. I'm looking at you, Elmo. You tried to touch me while I was sleeping.

Bioengineers at Duke University have developed a laboratory robot that can successfully locate tiny pieces of metal within flesh and guide a needle to its exact location -- all without the need for human assistance.

I stopped reading there because my pants were getting full, but just look at that needle. You really want a robot operating on you with that thing without human intervention? Fine, but it's gonna be your second butthole, not mine.

Robot surgeon uses frighteningly large needle to remove shrapnel, your resistance [engadget]

Thanks to STOMPY, who already has three.

Jun 23 2009 Vacuum: Oh Yeah, You Clean Those Drapes

This is basically an updated version of the Proton Packs used by the Ghostbusters. Allegedly, it can suck a ghost through a garden hose. And speaking of which, hey lady -- I've got a little something that could use some...no? We're not going there? Okay.

Capable of cleaning virtually any surface from carpet to tile to stone or hardwood floors., the Ergonomic Backpack Vacuum comes with a powerful suction that is even able to tackle items like broken glass, confetti, nuts and bolts and pet hair among others. Each $170 purchase will come with padded backpack straps, a HEPA filter to remove 99.9% of all dust, telescoping wand, easy reach attachments, a 26 ft. power cord, reusable collection bag and six disposable bags.

Hell yeah broken glass, confetti, nuts and bolts and pet hair -- that sounds like a party! So why wasn't I invited. Is it because of last time? I already told you -- I THOUGHT I WAS IN THE BATHROOM!

Ergonomic Backpack Vacuum [ubergizmo]

Thanks to sarah, FDSY and Chris, who must really love vacuums. Or sucking. SWISH.

Jun 23 2009 Don't Squash Me, Bro!: Cockroach Heart May Hold Key To Better Artificial Human Hearts

Sure it may look like an electric motor inside a bocce ball inside a bomb with nipple shields glued on, but it's actually a pump inside a bocce ball inside a bomb with nipple shields glued on. And apparently it's the key to building a better heart.

...while human hearts have four chambers, a cockroach heart uses 13 leaving plenty of redundancy. When a chamber fails in a human heart, you basically have a heart attack and most likely die, while a cockroach can have a chamber fail and barely notice it.

This new Biventricular Pump artificial heart developed at the Indian Institute of Technology in Kharagpur, uses a multi-chamber design just like those pesky roaches, and designer Sujoy K. Guha says that this vastly improves its long term reliability when compared with more traditional pneumatic designs.

Well alright, I'm all for a better built heart. Especially considering how women are so prone to RIPPING THEM OUT AND TEARING THEM APART. No, really, I'm not bitter.

Indian artificial heart design uses cockroach heart technology [dvice]

Thanks to FDSY, who is helping me build an iron heart.

Jun 23 2009 UPDATE: 56 Star Faced Girl A Dirty Liar

In an unshocking turn of events that surprised no one, it turns out the tattooed star face girl is a dirty liar and a slag. Okay, I dunno about the slag part, but I've always wanted to say it and figured now's my chance.

Kimberley Vlaeminck, 18, claimed that she'd asked for three small stars but fell asleep during the procedure and woke up with a whole galaxy on her face.

But she has now confessed she knew exactly what tattoo parlour owner Rouslan Toumaniantz was doing but changed her mind later.

She said she lied because her father was "furious".

Pathetic. Of course your father got furious, Kimberley, THAT'S WHAT FATHERS DO. Also, drink and forget your birthday. :(

Tattoo girl: 'I lied about my stars' [metro]

Thanks to Thumperchica, who called this from the beginning because she has common sense can see the future.

Jun 23 2009 Halo On The Dallas Cowboys Video Wall

This is someone playing Halo for the XBox 360 on the Dallas Cowboys stadium video wall. It is fairly large. Not as big as my TV, but close. Per tipster Mike the Robot Destroyer:

Long time follower of your site. I check it about 400 times a day to keep apprised of all activity pertaining to robots and their very disturbing evolutionary path towards the ability to kill all humanity. We both know they are already self aware and feel the urge to kill us, they are just waiting for us to give them the tools. I'm convinced robot scientists have been hypnotized by mind robots - either that, or robot scientists are really just future robots sent back in time to invent future robots..... hmmmmmm

No idea what that has to do with playing giant Halo, but at least he's got his head in the right place.

Youtube

Thanks Mike the Robot Destroyer, now get out there and make your Geekologie Writer proud!

Jun 23 2009 Only In Latvia: Secure A Loan With You Soul

Actually, I heard it works in hell too. But for those of you that like it a little cooler, a Latvian firm is offering loans of 50 to 500 Latvian lats ($100 to $1,000) secured only by your immortal soul.

Riga-based firm, named Kontora, does not require credit history record or proof of employment.

According to the agreement, the only security required of the borrower is their immortal soul, which they are asked to confirm as their previously unmortgaged property.

Damn you, previously unmortgaged property clause! You see, I was in Georgia sawin' on a fiddle and playin' it hot. I won a bike. With a red-hot poker for a seat. Damn you, devil!

Latvian firm accepts souls as guarantee for credits [mosnews]

Thanks to Spikey DaPikey, who lost his soul in a game of beer pong. Jesus, Spikey -- I like your style.

Jun 22 2009 I Do BLAAAHHH!: First Weightless Wedding

Erin Finnegan and Noah Fulmor got married over the weekend while hovering weightlessly in the back of an airplane. Allegedly it's the first weightless wedding, provided if you don't count the time I married alien in outerspace (read: I was probed, hard).

To recreate the weightless experience without going into space, the plane executed parabolic flight maneuvers, climbing sharply and descending several times during the one-hour flight.

Inside the 90-foot-long padded "floating zone," the ceremony was accomplished with a lot of bumping and fumbling, as bride and groom, guests and witnesses alike tried to coordinate their movements in a microgravity environment.

Nice. And in the famous words of Billy Idol, "It's a nice day for a weightless wedding, it's a nice day to...horf again, BLAAAH!"

Couple Float Into Zero Gravity Nuptials [aolnews]

Thanks to Pat, who once made out with a stewardess to score free peanuts.

Jun 22 2009 Yikes: Sharks Hunt Like Human Serial Killers

A recent study conducted by a group that I can't believe received funding for the project has determined that great white sharks hunt like human serial killers. Get a load of this freakishness:

The sharks feeding at Seal Island could have just hovered right where the seals congregated if they were random killers-of-opportunity, Hammerschlag said. But they weren't.

The sharks had a distinct M.O.

They were focused. They stalked from a usual base of operations, 100 yards from their victims. It was close enough to see their prey, but not close enough to be seen and scare off their victims. They attacked when the lights were low. They liked their victims young and alone. They tried to attack when no other sharks were around to compete. They learned from previous kills.

And they attacked from below, unseen.

Okay now I'm a little creeped out. And not just because there's a great white peeking through my bedroom wind....ZOMG THERE'S A GREAT WHITE PEEKI *glass shatters* OM NOM NOM NOM HOLY SHIT HE'S EATING MY FOOT! OH GOD HELP -- IT'S UP TO MY KNEE! OH NO, OH NO HE'S GOING FOR MY PENI....oh, choked to death.

Great white sharks hunt just like Hannibal Lecter [yahoonews]

Jun 22 2009 Girl Electrocutes Herself Tweeting In Bathtub

Following in the trend of tweeting from the bathroom, a 17-year old Romanian girl died while apparently trying to Twitter from the tub (this new loofah feels great!).

The Austrian times says that Maria Barbu was, in fact, in the tub while using Twitter when she likely reached to plug in her charger with a wet hand, electrocuting herself in the process.

As much fun as I do want to make of Maria, you really can't blame her. Women understanding electricity? BWHAHAH AHAH HA HA! God, I needed that.

Girl Dies by Electrocution While Twitting in Bathtub, Apocalypse Draws Nearer [gizmodo]

Thanks to Julian, who once showered with a toaster but the bread got all soggy.

Jun 22 2009 Lookin' Sharp: Klingon Inspired Baby Products

Want your child to grow up a powerful warrior with a mountain range for a head? Then you're in luck, thanks to this traditional Klingon blade inspired crib! You just place your little tyke in there, occasionally throw a lion in the room for him/her to battle, and six years later, PRESTO, you're arrested for child neglect. Also, you have a pack of hungry lions living in your nursery.

Hit the jump to see a rocking horse and baby rattle of the same style.

Continue Reading " Lookin' Sharp: Klingon Inspired Baby Products "

Jun 22 2009 Fake?: Boy Freaks Out Over Cancelled WoW

This is a video of a boy losing his shit because his mom canceled his World of Warcraft subscription. I have my doubts about it's genuineness, but he does try to stuff a remote control up his ass at 1:10, so it could be real.

Youtube

Thanks to Amanda, Ed, Miriam, Chase, Jon and MoD, who are cool as cucumbers in a bowl of hot sauce.

Jun 22 2009 Robot Train Goes Rogue, Kills Track Inspector

An unmanned computerized train car in Miami allegedly ran over an employee while he was inspecting the tracks of the Metromover rail system. Uh-oh.

The accident happened Saturday. The computerized vehicle, which is not driven by a conductor, was stopped, but moved forward for an unknown reason.

Unknown reason, huh? How about THAT ROBOT TRAIN IS A BLOODTHIRSTY KILLER?! *ringing bell* The apocalypse, it's here! Quick -- to the bunker! Bring snakes! SNACKS, I MEANT SNACKS GO GO GO GO

Florida Man Killed By Computerized Vehicle While Inspecting Tracks [foxnews]

Thanks to Matt, holliebean, D.M., Jeff, Nathaniel, renegade and Joel, who I WASN'T KIDDING RUN RUN RUN!

Jun 22 2009 Go Plates: Stacking Food On Your Beer

Go Plates are reusable party plates (not to be confused with party hats) that sit on top of your beer can, bottle or plastic cup, allowing you a free hand for playing grab-ass with all your friends or whatever it is people do at parties (I've never been to one). A pack of 42 will set you back $48.50, which isn't too bad considering their reusable (read: I'll lay them all out on the floor and let the dog lick them before putting them back in the cabinet). Party at my house!

Product Site

Thanks to Gino, who once choked on a hors d'œuvre and had to be given mouth to mouth by a very sexy lady.

Jun 22 2009 Today's Woot Shirt: How Bacon Bits Are Made

This Bacon Bits t-shirt combines aspects of both Space Invaders and delicious pig particulate. I want to eat it.

Once in a while, in a great while, a shirt comes along that is so good, it leaves us totally speechless. There's no reason for us to even pretend otherwise today. And we won't.

They're $10 shipped over at shirt.woot.com (today only). So go get one now and show your appreciation for everyone's favorite sundae topping.

Shirt Woot (if you click this after today, 6.22.09, it will be a different shirt)

Thanks to Matty, Julian, Etienne, Jenny and Melissa, who once spilled a jar bacon bits and ate the floor.

Jun 21 2009 WoW Mountain Dew Game Fuel Commercial

This is a television advertisement for Mountain Dew Game Fuel: World Of Warcraft. I don't want to spoil it for you, but I'm going to: two chicks turn into World of Warcraft characters and start battling right there at the grocery store checkout. Obviously, I would do them both. AFTER transformation ;)

Youtube

Thanks to naas, who once Chaos Bolted an old lady in the face for cutting in line at the checkout.

Jun 21 2009 NYC Billboard Tracks Greenhouse Gases

Deutsche Bank put up a billboard in Madison Square Garden that allegedly displays almost real-time data on the amount of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere. And I, for one, can't read that number.

Kevin Parker, global head of Deutsche Bank's Asset Management division, said of the counter at its unveiling: "It will be a huge task to bring global emissions under control and my hope is that putting this data in public view will spur both governments and markets to move us more quickly to a low-carbon economy."

The counter increases at around 800 tons a second, which, if you are good at the maths, you know translates into, um, a lot per day. At least half of which is my roommate. Seriously, dude's so gassy the walls in his bedroom are turning brown.

World's first real-time carbon emissions counter adds a chilling 800 tons a second [dvice]

Jun 21 2009 Babyglow 'Sleep Suits' Indicate Temperature

Babyglow Sleep Suits are basically Hypercolor onesies for babies. If the baby's temperature passes 98.6°F (37°C), it turns white, indicating possible sickness. Also, if it's vomit covered, that could be a sign. Available this fall, a 3-pack will set you back $35. Alternatively, a 36-pack of Trojans for $17.94....
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HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

Babyglow Garment Changes Color When Your Baby Is Running A Fever [ohgizmo]