May 15 2009Universe's Largest Black Hole Discovered
Allegedly astronomers have discovered the universe's most massive black hole. How massive? Think my ex-wife's gaping pie-hole times three.
Whatever gave birth to this monster can be real proud. The biggest black hole in the universe weighs in with a respectable mass of 18 billion Suns, and is about the size of an entire galaxy.
The biggest black hole beats out its nearest competitor by six times. Fortunately, it's 3.5 billion light years away, forming the heart of a quasar called OJ287.
So, what does this mean for us? WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! Quick, everybody, foil helmets, foil helmets! *click* Haha, you all looked so stupid.
18 Billion Suns -Biggest Black Hole in Universe Discovered--and it's BIG! A Galaxy Classic [dailygalaxy]
Thanks to interstellar vacuum salesman, who could sell that black hole a stairs attachment even if it doesn't have any.
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Reader Comments
1. fff - May 15, 2009 12:29 PM
damn thats massive
2. Nick - May 15, 2009 12:30 PM
I thought this was going to have a picture of Oprah.
3. Andy - May 15, 2009 12:32 PM
Sweet
4. Clamdigger - May 15, 2009 12:32 PM
Great they found my ex-wife....I am sorry my mistake I read it as Black Soul, fitting either way.
5. a retard - May 15, 2009 12:34 PM
if you look at it really hard you can that it is shaped like a Rose with a 10 mm six sided nut in the middle.
this is such spoof, i can photo shop better stuff using Paint brush that came with win 3.11
6. a retard - May 15, 2009 12:35 PM
correction on my screen that might even be a 9/16 nut
7. STOMPY - May 15, 2009 12:35 PM
wow, they named a huge black hole (read black a-hole) after OJ Simpson (OJ287)...
8. Learn How I Make $104 Profit everyday online - May 15, 2009 12:36 PM
i love that its called OJ 287... not OJ187. Insert racial and OJ jokes here...
9. Pew³ - May 15, 2009 12:36 PM
I haight two brake it two yew guise butt eye downt theenk these fotos argh reel dey luk liek somebooty tuk picktures of meye marbell kalectsion.
10. STOMPY - May 15, 2009 12:37 PM
@a retard
your gonna love my nuts
11. STOMPY - May 15, 2009 12:38 PM
@8
beat ya to it!!!! yes!!!!!
12. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - May 15, 2009 12:39 PM
pffbt. Tinfoil? Everyone knows armadillo is way better.
13. nfo - May 15, 2009 12:50 PM
wait... ARE THERE STAIRS IN YOUR HOUSE?
14. Ryuzaki - May 15, 2009 12:51 PM
Wait a minute... isn't that suppose to be Bob Kelso's heart? ahah
15. scurl - May 15, 2009 12:56 PM
this reminds me of my friends band, "we're all gonna die!". too bad they broke up.
also, pffft, i've seen bigger black holes on my ass after a hard night of drinking. not really sure what that means.
16. Milkman - May 15, 2009 12:59 PM
Obviously this isn't the picture of the black hole for those that didn't know better... they don't show up on film and the only evidence is the heated gasses, xray emissions, etc surrounding them. But wow thats f*cking massive. As big as a galaxy? Now I'm scared
17. LSDiesel - May 15, 2009 1:10 PM
So basically its the Butthole of the universe?
Oh wait, nevermind. Thats New Jersey.
18. gizmoduck - May 15, 2009 1:12 PM
event horizon my friends.
this place is a tomb
19. a retard - May 15, 2009 1:16 PM
wonder if i dropped 100 pennies in there if the other side it came out a $1 dollar bill
20. gizmoduck - May 15, 2009 1:20 PM
that is the size of my pee hole
21. MacMaster - May 15, 2009 1:22 PM
It looks like a giant poop chute,
22. Sauron - May 15, 2009 1:25 PM
There's my other eye.
23. thatlizkid - May 15, 2009 1:26 PM
SUPER MASSIVE BLACK HOLE!
man i love muse
24. Galtacticus - May 15, 2009 1:30 PM
Could this Black Hole come closer? My house needs to be vacuum cleaned.
25. Nightbringer - May 15, 2009 1:32 PM
This thing is beyond badass
http://nightbringer101.mybrute.com
26. Rhialto - May 15, 2009 1:37 PM
It's the biggest Black Hole what we,humans,have discovered till now.Maybe in the future we'll find even bigger Black Holes!
27. Ollie Williams - May 15, 2009 1:46 PM
I'm not going to lie. I was expecting some whale tail trickery with this title.
28. Gando - May 15, 2009 1:49 PM
What could have give birth to this Giant? It's almost unimaginable.
29. LSDiesel - May 15, 2009 1:50 PM
@23, me too!!!
30. Daisy - May 15, 2009 1:50 PM
FAKE!!!!
This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.
This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max tried to weigh a black hole for school. Al Sharpton told him he wouldn't get on the scale though.
31. naas - May 15, 2009 1:50 PM
hahaha, I thought it had something to do with oprah too
32. DrNecropolis - May 15, 2009 4:23 PM
So thaaaaaaat's where I left my Super Massive Black Hole! I'll have to thank them for finding it for me
33. Daisy - May 15, 2009 9:32 PM
FAKE!!!!
This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.
This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max tried to weigh a black hole for school. Al Sharpton told him he wouldn't get on the scale though.
34. Daisy - May 15, 2009 9:32 PM
FAKE!!!!
This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell it's a fake because the shadows are all wrong.
This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max tried to weigh a black hole for school. Al Sharpton told him he wouldn't get on the scale though.
35. Valkyrja - May 16, 2009 4:31 AM
SAURON!!!!!!!!!!!!!
36. wkw - May 16, 2009 6:35 AM
lol its sure massive
37. Uncle Eccoli - May 16, 2009 12:40 PM
Interesting how nothing in the cosmos is anything until human beings - in our infinite wisdom - say it is. F.uck, we're pathetic.
38. jojo - May 17, 2009 8:36 PM
We're not pathetic. Everyone knows the universe revolves around us.
39. james braselton - October 6, 2009 11:29 PM
hi there thats were i left my super black hole and halo ring infint unaverses
40. DASIY - October 16, 2009 6:11 PM
DUDE THIS IS A PIC OF A ROSSTER IF U LOOK CLOSE AT IT U CAN SEE IT BUT ITS BEEN PHOT SHOPED
41. cez - October 16, 2009 11:36 PM
i was so shock
42. Jason - October 17, 2009 1:47 AM
It looks like something that came out of my dogs ass... and you can tell its fake... someone probably took a picture of a poster