Universe's Largest Black Hole Discovered

Allegedly astronomers have discovered the universe's most massive black hole. How massive? Think my ex-wife's gaping pie-hole times three.
Whatever gave birth to this monster can be real proud. The biggest black hole in the universe weighs in with a respectable mass of 18 billion Suns, and is about the size of an entire galaxy.
The biggest black hole beats out its nearest competitor by six times. Fortunately, it's 3.5 billion light years away, forming the heart of a quasar called OJ287.
So, what does this mean for us? WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! Quick, everybody, foil helmets, foil helmets! *click* Haha, you all looked so stupid.
18 Billion Suns -Biggest Black Hole in Universe Discovered--and it's BIG! A Galaxy Classic [dailygalaxy]
Thanks to interstellar vacuum salesman, who could sell that black hole a stairs attachment even if it doesn't have any.
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