May 15 2009Oldest Human Sculpture Found In Germany

I'm pretty sure this is KFC's new grilled chicken. Oprah's behind this!

didnt antonio banderas find that thing in the 13th warrior?

@1 .. u should have wrote "first"

I've seen similar ones to these before in some of museums in France... and Italy... but if this is the oldest one.. the others must be COPIES!!!! Antique pirating!

this game really rocks !!
fight me ppl !! if u dare !

this game really rocks !!
fight me ppl !! if u dare !

http://the-turtle-balls.mybrute.com

shut up jose - you should have wrote "jose is a loser" - you firstie fag. and stop appropriating g.g. marquez's characters, you cant even spell them correctly - you should be reading cat in the hat.

I think i see a mammoth toe... or a blue whale tale...

wow - I had a venus of willendorf replica - must now get a venus of Hohle Fels Cave replica - it makes the ladies cream

Neat.

What the article doesn't explain is how the sculpture lost its arm when a giant stone door closed on it while it was handing a key to a priest.

It also doesn't explain cave women's tiny heads and emo tendencies of cutting ones self.

Ha but I thought the world was only 6000 years old! LOOOOOOOOOOOOOO0OOL!1111

I see no difference between this interpretation of the female body and Jessica Rabbit's.

looks like the mummy chickens are back!!!!!!

@3 no... you don't write "first"...that's stupid and gay and stupid and retarded....

That's one fugly sculpture

FAKE!!!!

This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.

This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never BAck Down where Max propped a chicken up on a beer can on the grill. He put on the TV and fell asleep, and then forgot it was out there, and when he retrieved the chicken a week later it looked like a petrified mummified chicken.

Damn... prehistoric bitches had big titties!

Looks like a chicken with extra chest meat! LOLZ

that Vagina is GINORMOUS!!!

She must have been having sex with a mammoth

Different beauty standards 35,000 years ago! Where they cannibals?

This was more likely a representation of a "Mother" or "Mother Earth" type diety. The ancient cultures had a tendency to make those figures BBW style to reflect the nature of motherhood. Large breasts to feed many children, rotund figure due to plentiful food, exaggerated sexual characteristics that are easily identified as female. It is less an example of the "perfect" female representation and more an example of the respect/worship to the earth and the mother figure though to have birthed it.

~end geeky historical rhetoric here.

I had no idea Kim Kardashian was that old.

Could this be a fossellized blow-up doll?

Licence and registration...

Chicken Füċker!! BaGawk!!

@$.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q
You clearly haven't been drinking enough this morning, ... I'd hate to play you in balderdash!

@$.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q
You clearly haven't been drinking enough this morning, ... I'd hate to play you in balderdash!

wow, there is an echo in here...

26 - I'd love to be drinking right now, and smoking. But I'm trying to quit smoking (started Monday) and drinking makes me have super-cravings for nicotine. I'd also love to not be at work =( I'm in a shopping/reading/anything but working mood... Alas, my checking account is in a "give me money" mood. So I'm stuck.

Don't you spell "artefact" with an i like "artifact"?

@28. Thumper. I know nicotine is addictive, but if only only started smoking Monday, it should be a pretty easy habit to kick!

Good luck with that!!!

30 - Ba-DumTSH!
Actually, I started smoking about 12 years ago... this is no fun!! Thx!

Could this be the first Barbie.....or just Pam Andersons great great great great great great grat grat grandmother? ( The last 2 greats are before the letter E was invented no correction needed, thanks anyway) I think this is the work of head shrinkers and zombies.

@30
nice one!

@31 A cigarette is a pinch of tobacco rolled in paper lit on one end... and a fool on the other end.

Hey Thumper, if you want to quit smoking cigarettes....start smoking Black & Milds. That's what I did. They make you look cool (still), the smell brings back memories of grandpa, and they're easier to fill with weed.

This just proves guys are pervs, since, like, forever. 'cause you know it's a spank-aid. OO-OO-OO-OO-OO (46mph, 48mph, 49mph, 49mph, 52mph)

More like canned chicken

BK - that has got to be the dumbest thing I've heard all week. And I work in customer service...

@38, I agree.

After all, post 35 is just a bunch of text typed into a white box with a mouth-breathing moron at the end of it.

this reminds me of when i show people my appendectomy scar.

@38 - i used to work customer service (well, different name but same thing) at microsoft back in the win98se days. i heard some really fantastically stupid people some some amazing things, but my favorite is the guy who threatened to kill bill gates at his country club. i still think i was in the right not to alert security. i think that's why they fired me.

BBW and boobs. Nice boobs. Boobs, people!

Thumper - ...AND you read Geekologie all day.

I should be honored...

I am.

And @ 19, my friend, the truth is that evolution has taken many amazing things away from man. Like the ability to breath under water......and giant genitals. Men and women's.

@35 Please stop smoking and use the money on serilization.

@43
ohhh burn, what a crappy time to eff up the spelling of a word... loser

..looks like a baked turkey to me.

@43
disregard loser part, thought you were ragging on anyone who chooses to smoke but you were just raggin on dbag BK... Flame on!!

@1 - Definitely wins the prize for best first comment ever.

Since you asked so nicely, 43, I'll work a little harder on that. Other than toking to lower the sperm count already... I'm definitely aware of the overpopulation problem, though.

*sporting tighty-whities*

And STOMPY, a "dbag" is a hygienic product... I'll take that as a compliment.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh! Burrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrn!

Was that porn before the information age?

"I vill call zis piece, 'Hitler's Testicles'!"

funny comments are great, more free entertainment

Oh my...the interpretation was all wrong. This is actually a carving of a male screwing a giant bug-eyed trilobite. The anthropolgical discovery here is that, since the dawn of man, we'd screw anything with legs, no matter how many.

BK Keep on toking you are (still) so cool with your Black & Milds. That toking comment to lower the sperm count is a little freaky. Reminds me of the joke:" Why do dogs lick their balls?"........... "Because they can". Glad to see you are working harder on the sperm count lowering. Breath mints might help, if you every break away for your cool self.

BK @ 42 you are an idiot and your comment to 19 proves it...... I must have missed the finding of the gilled man, and the 4 ft man with the 3 ft penis. What f*****g color is the sky in your world? Dude smoke on....do you find ashes on your pillow in the morning?

looks like a turkey...

For someone named "Clamdigger" you sure take things seriously......

Do you find tears on your pillow in the morning?

I bet the sky is always gray in your world..........

I also bet that a caveman could lick his balls!!! His GIANT balls!!! AFTER evolving from the sea, of course.

interesting

Doesn't that look just like the carving that Dwight says Moes carved on the office? The Ep. when Ryan was getting hazed.

so the oldest human was jaba the hut
hmm.....

http://std-aids.mybrute.com

@12. squeehunter Did you really Lol??

I find it amazing that you can't be more open to other theories, when that is all there is.

At least the book that came up with my theory is PROVEN well over 1000 years old. Darwin made his in the 1800's. You know that you may as well follow Joseph Smith or Tom Cruise. Their theories are even more current. Good luck to you.

@ 31. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q -

and for you... read a book called "the Easy Way" to stop smoking. It won't be hard. Don't put up with crap from people who never smoked. (although your post did make is sound like you started smoking on monday which would deserve some smack talk)

Damn I need a cigarette!

This is no statue. It's a fossilized mastodon turd.

@60

Just because your book is old doesn't make it correct. Take your Ben Stein loving idiocy somewhere else.

@63

You know what a theory is right? Did you know that a "theory" isn't automatically correct? How can anybody make their own decicions if people like you won't let them be heard? I have listened to both sides.

Just because I told you which one I believe in doesn't mean that you have to... but nevermind, just plug your ears and run away... I know it's scary for some people.

The point is, that I (I meaning me, not you, so chill) think that thing is not more than 6000 years old. Nobody can verify either side so you must choose. But choose wisely.

Um yah. Sorry to tell yah but that's not a person, that a turkey with a vagina.

I think it looks more like a Foster Farms chicken, as opposed to those other "saline plumped" chickens you see on television. But seriously..as an artist- I look at this, and see a gutted, de-feathered chicken.

Come on guys, this is OLD
..

Shit looks more like a turkey to me.

For someone named BK I hate your burgers.....or that could stand for baked knowledge. (inhales deeply....cough, cough.....followed licking sounds BIG licking sounds )

Dude you were so close.......... wrong stop try SMOKEOLOGY.... after you dry off from your sea evolution of course.

"That's right, mammoth -- the very same mount Jesus used to ride into battle. Wow!"

OMG i LOLED like crazy when I read DAT!

Wow, I really didn't know that everyone back in those really old days were FA's... It's hilarious.