May 1 2009DIY: How To Get Out Of Jury Duty (Sort Of)
Erik Slye (he is too), 36, of Gallatin County, Monatana really, really, REALLY didn't want to serve on a jury after being summoned for duty. So what did he do? Wrote a nasty letter. His affidavit to the court follows, in case you can't read it in the picture.
Apparently you morons didn't understand me the first time. I CANNOT take time off from work. I'm not putting my family's well being at stake to participate in this crap. I don't believe in our "justice" system and I don't want to have a goddam thing to do with it. Jury duty is a complete waste of time. I would rather count the wrinkles on my dogs balls than sit on a jury. Get it through your thick skulls. Leave me the F--k alone.
Way to hero it up, Erik. "The document, of course, did not sit well with court officials and led a judge to threaten to jail Slye. But after being summoned to court, Slye apologized for the affidavit and avoided being cited on a criminal failure to appear rap. And he also was excused from serving on a jury." Wow. So I guess sometimes writing a nasty letter really does work. Oh, and Erik -- neuter the dog, bro.
New Wrinkle On Avoiding Jury Duty [thesmokinggun]
Thanks to The Jerk and Joemo, who found jury duty a great time to peruse the Geekologie archives.
Reader Comments
1. Pew³ - May 1, 2009 5:26 PM
I never get those.
At least not as a registered letter.
So, nope. I never received anything in the mail your honor.
FTW!!!!
2. $.02 and a pocket full of FAH-Q - May 1, 2009 5:29 PM
Damn.
3. todders - May 1, 2009 5:29 PM
You haven't seen anything until you've seen Macho Man Randy Savage smoke a bong rip of salvia... AND FREAK OUT:
http://www.digitalfuntown.com/videos/166
4. Moose Knuckle - May 1, 2009 5:30 PM
I usually just show up wearing my SPASPCR T-shirt while snorting simulated coke off my iPhone.
But, that's at work. Jury duty's a tale for another time..
5. Kk - May 1, 2009 5:45 PM
"I would rather count the wrinkles on my dog's balls then sit in a jury"
this Erik guy writes some epic shit
6. Timbo - May 1, 2009 5:51 PM
If he didn't apologize then this guy would be my hero!
7. Pat - May 1, 2009 5:54 PM
I should do that. I get called every eight months like clockwork!
8. Cano - May 1, 2009 6:09 PM
http://bouncewith.me.uk/europe/8027043.htm
9. GRAMMARNAZI - May 1, 2009 6:19 PM
This guy is full of shit!
I've worked with municipal, and provincial judges and I've been called to be a juror. If you don't want to be part of the selection process then you don't have to be a dick and write a nasty letter. The point is, If you don't want to do it they don't want you either. Nobody gets pressured to be part of a jury, they only may get pressured by lawyers to be removed.
10. G-man - May 1, 2009 6:37 PM
Crazy americans with the jury bullshit.
11. Pew³ - SPASPCR©®™ founder. - May 1, 2009 6:38 PM
I hope I don't jinx it, but I just noticed that this was a firstard-free post.
It's after 3:30pm here on the west coast. Work is slowing down and I'm jonezing for at least one more post.
Come on GW, I know you have it in you!
12. Watch-303 - May 1, 2009 7:08 PM
this is crazy, no need to do that.
13. naas - May 1, 2009 7:13 PM
@11 love it
great letter to the courts, I'm not sure I'd write the same thing while feeling the same way but I enjoy his attitude
14. Chuck Nunchuck - May 1, 2009 7:20 PM
I actually enjoy counting the wrinkles on my dog's balls thank you very much. Now, my rabbit? That's another story.
15. Daisy - May 1, 2009 7:44 PM
FAKE!!!!
This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.
This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max fell asleep during jury duty and started snoring loudly enough to disrupt the court. He ended up spending 24 in the slammer for contempt and the defendant in his trial walked. Go figure.
16. Watch - May 1, 2009 7:45 PM
stfu daisy. your a waist of space
Also
FR1ST!!!!111111111!!1111!!!!!!!!!
17. SlowMonkey - May 1, 2009 8:16 PM
I never get asked to do Jury duty. I am notorious for jumping to the wrong conclusion.
18. Lissy - May 1, 2009 8:27 PM
NICE!
19. Ben - May 1, 2009 8:30 PM
Lol. I used to live there... MONTANANS FTW!!!
20. Milkman - May 1, 2009 8:38 PM
Collosal fail. All you have to do is sign the back and claim financial hardship. They tell you to prepare to spend 1-2 wks in court but most companies only offer you 3 days jury paid leave. Who in their right mind would spend 2 weeks of their vacation pay to serve on a juror? Someone who isn't going to Hawaii, that's who! :p
21. Christopher Edwards - May 2, 2009 12:21 AM
Haha I used to live in Gallatin County
22. Dick - May 2, 2009 1:47 AM
Daisy, do you know what the 10th circle of hell is reserved for?
spammers.
You ****ing ****
23. Martin K. - May 2, 2009 4:10 AM
Weaseling your way out of jury duty is lame. It's ultra-lame. Sure, some people get paid by the hour and will lose a lot of money taking the time off, but what if you had to go to court? Would you want a bunch of people on the jury who were barely paying attention and barely conscious? Would you want them to take 10 minutes deliberating because they were in such a rush to get back to their important lives? Karma does exist, I know from firsthand experience.
However, if you really want to serve and you honestly cannot afford to miss work then just show up wearing a t-shirt that says, "Ask Me About Jury Nullification". You'll probably get turned away at the door.
24. Captain Hash - May 2, 2009 6:22 AM
http://captain-hash.mybrute.com
Have a look at this.
25. Shane - May 2, 2009 9:59 AM
The thing that got him off was the phrase "I don't believe in our "justice" system..."
My father has used this every time he's been summoned for jury duty and has yet to serve in his 65 years on earth.
26. Dr. Zaius - May 2, 2009 11:55 AM
@8 Your link would be much better (i.e. more believable) if it didn't have so many damn grammatical errors. FYI, it's spelled "zombiism" not "zombism".
It did still succeed in freaking out my grandparents and 10 year old cousin though.
27. therush - May 2, 2009 2:56 PM
Everyone knows the way to get out of jury duty is to say you are prejudice against all races.
28. Pew Pew - May 3, 2009 5:32 PM
Wow way to earn your self a contempt of court....
29. CapnBirdseye - May 4, 2009 10:53 AM
The best one I've ever heard was my friend sending them a letter thanking them for selecting him for jury duty, as he "could not wait to get those damn n*ggers in jail".
They never called him in for jury duty again.
Stupidly risky though.